What Traveling To Dangerous Countries Has Taught Me About Fear
As a financially strapped college student, I used to think that traveling was a luxury only afforded to the rich.
Still, that didn't deter me from finding awesome flight deals and packing my bags to destinations all around the globe. In total, I have been to 11 countries. Growing up I always visited Kenya at least once a year or every couple of years, and so it surprises me to see so many people hesitant on visiting the beautiful nation due to the terrorist attacks that have recently been reported in the news.
The media has a wonderful way of painting less fortunate countries as dangerous every time there is a terrorist attack, and it's something that cripples the economy of those countries. Many people fail to realize that the odds of being killed by a terrorist organization is slim, and that they have more chance of getting hit by a car in their own city.
I visited Kenya in 2014 just a couple of months after the Westgate Mall shooting, and when I got on the plane it didn’t even occur to me that it happened months ago. We landed the next day and I enjoyed my vacation. I stayed in a Kenyan village with some of my family and took time to see some of the sites and native animals. It didn’t once occur to me that I could die at any moment; I was too busy immersing myself in such a beautiful country. I thought to myself, If I had decided not to come out of fear, I would have missed out on the giraffes and gazelles and the experience of being with my family. Sometimes our fears are driven by what we hear and see on the news. I'll admit that at times it’s valid, but many times they're illusions.
[Tweet "Sometimes our fears are driven by what we hear and see in the news."]
This past November, I booked a trip to Europe just weeks before the terrorist attack in Paris. At that moment, my friend and I both declared that it wasn’t a good idea to go despite the pressure from our family members to stay in our "safe" country. Was our fear warranted? Of course it was, but what we didn’t realize was Paris was going to be even more safe now due to the increased security. We were very close to cancelling our entire trip based on this one event. We went back and forth for days wondering if we should cancel and questioning whether or not we'd make it back alive. Eventually we decided that if it was our time to go, at least we'd die in an unforgettable city.
When December 9th came around and we boarded our flight, we couldn't help but to be giddy with excitement. We ended up having an amazing winter break as we explored the streets of Oslo, canals of Amsterdam, museums of Paris, churches of Barcelona, ruins of Athens, towns of Italy and Christmas markets in Berlin.
If we had decided to not go to Europe out of fear, we would have missed out on a world of memories.
As I write this, I’m still reeling from my recent trip to Egypt. When I first proposed the idea to my friends, they said no way in hell. When I told my mother, she couldn’t believe it. Many of her friends asked why would I even go there. Egypt’s tourism has been declining yearly due to the revolution and terrorist attacks. At one time, many people flocked to their beaches, now it’s a ghost town. Since I’ve learned to live fearlessly, I booked my ticket to Egypt with my friend and hoped for the best. Of course I was scared that I might lose my life as terrorism gets increasingly worse in Egypt. I even confessed my fear of going to my friend, and he reminded me that we are from one of the most dangerous cities (Baltimore) and that we can easily be killed at anytime, so Egypt shouldn’t scare us. He had a very valid point. The flight date rolled around and I was excited; I couldn’t wait to land in Cairo and gaze at the pyramids that I'd previously only seen in photos. We landed at 2AM, and it looked like a war zone. Many builds were torn down, and some were only halfway standing. You could visually see just how much Cairo has been suffering. It didn’t help that the taxi driver swindled my friend and I out of money. My friend was scared, and as soon as we got into the hotel room he remarked how he wanted to go home.
Despite all of this, I kept a positive attitude. The next day we went to see the pyramids, and I realized that seeing a piece of history was worth it. When I came face to face with King Tut’s mask, I knew coming to Egypt was a good idea despite what the media said. We even rode ATV’s in the desert, something I wouldn’t have been able to do if I stayed home.
[Tweet "While we are alive we should do all the things we want even if it scares us."]
The truth of the matter is we all will pass away at some point--maybe today, tomorrow, or many years from now. While we are alive we should do all the things we want even if it scares us. If I would have cancelled all of my trips due to fears, I wouldn’t have experienced so many cultures and met so many people. I wouldn’t have such a great Instagram feed either. It is the media’s job to scare you and shove terror in your face; they want your views. The memories I have made are priceless, and are a general lesson in life do everything that scares you.
What have you done that scares you today?
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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How A Stay At Switzerland's Luxurious 7132 Hotel Reminded Me To Live The Life I Deserve
Sometimes, as women—especially as single Black women—we simply need to be reminded that we are deserving of living a life we dream of. Even if that means creating it for ourselves. I recently set out on a weeklong trip to Switzerland, a trip I’ve been wanting to take for years, and near the end of my visit, I had an epiphany.
“DeAnna, this is the life you deserve,” I thought to myself as I took in the gorgeous bathroom in my suite at the famous 7132 Hotel and Thermal Spa. It was one of the most luxurious hotels (and bathrooms) I had ever stayed in—and that’s saying a lot for someone who often travels for work.
To help you better understand why this was such a mental awakening for me, I first need to give a bit of my backstory. I’m in my late thirties. I’m an attorneyand a journalist. I own a home and have traveled the world extensively. Essentially, I’ve done everything in life I set out to do. However, when it comes to dating, I struggle. Not because there is anything wrong with me per se, but because my career and “lifestyle” often create problems in my romantic relationships.
View from my hotel room
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I’ve been told everything from, ‘I can’t continue to date you because you seem to choose your career over wanting to settle down and have kids’ by a man after only the second date to ‘Maybe if you just sat down somewhere for a while, I’d actually wife you’ by someone who has honestly never proven themselves to be the settle down type. And these are only a handful of the things I’ve been told over the years.
It’s been frustrating, to say the least, and there have even been seasons where I purposely dimmed my light in hopes that my career wouldn’t push away potential suitors. I know what you’re thinking, “Girl, why would you even consider that? If they’re for you, it won’t matter what you do.” Hey, don’t judge me, but also, I one hundred percent agree.
My hotel bathroom
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That’s why this recent moment in Switzerland was right on time. When I first walked into the hotel to check in, I was blown away by the surrounding beauty. It was a five-star property with one of the world’s most famous thermal bathhouses. Yet, it was something about seeing that 90% of the hotel’s guests were couples, that forced me to sit back for a bit of introspection—while soaking in the thermal spa, of course.
As I went through the mental conversation, there was a battle of sorts. On one hand, I knew that being able to partake in experiences like the one I was having at that moment was important to me. I knew that, at times I actually love being able to dabble in the finer things—after all, I’ve worked hard to be able to afford them. On the other hand, and sadly, I knew that sometimes being a single Black woman that publicly showcases her “luxurious” habits can intimidate men and even scare them off from pursuing you under the guise of them feeling like they “can’t do anything for you, because you have everything.”
My hotel room
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So, what is a girl to do?
Do I minimize/hide the life and experiences that I have? Do I play down the hard work I’ve put in to get where I am professionally? Or, do I risk being single in exchange for being able to have said life, without backlash?
Luckily, the joy that I felt while being at this property won. There was something about taking a full day to simply pamper myself at the bathhouse and in my in-room steam shower and soaker tub, indulging in cuisine from a 2-star Michelin restaurant and doing all of this while surrounded by an amazing group of Black women that reminded me—this is certainly the life I was meant to live and that I deserve. Even if it means that right now, I’ll just have to provide it for myself until the right partner comes along. And honestly, I’m okay with that.
Restaurant at 7132 hotel
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