Why Becky with the Good Hair Is Bigger Than Infidelity
After Beyonce’s groundbreaking release of "Lemonade" on April 23rd, social media has been ablaze with talk of “Becky with the good hair.” Many took to Rachel Roy’s (and Rachel Ray’s) feed dropping lemon and bees like there was no tomorrow accusing her of being the aforementioned Becky. Others went back and forth with Iggy Azealia who felt the line was a racial attack on white women. The reference, however, deals with a much larger elephant in the room.
From corsets to waist trainers, women have worked for centuries to keep up with the world’s ever-changing beauty standards. The women views as beautiful enough to grace magazine covers and TV screens have traditionally been white (or very light), skinny, with straight hair. Black women see this everywhere they go, yet fit nowhere in this mold.
In a Time interview with Misty Copeland President Obama speaks to this truth by stating, “Women are put under enormous pressure to look a certain way. The pressure, I think, is historically always has been harder on African American women” when asked about how culture affects his daughters. This pressure he speaks of is trying to feel beautiful in a country that says we are not.
[Tweet "Black being inferior is ingrained in our history."]
Black being inferior is ingrained in our history. Even after slave masters had no say in the division of porch and field negroes we still continued to separate ourselves according to the shade of our skin. Anyone with skin darker than a brown paper bag did not merit inclusion into many major black organizations including fraternities, sororities, churches, and civic groups.
Though the brown bag test is no longer an openly stated qualifier, women with darker skin, fuller lips, larger waists, wider noses, and short, coarse hair are still outliers on the beauty scale. This is not only true in white communities, but black ones as well. Our psyches have been drowned in European standards for so long we truly began to believe that their definition of beauty is the only one.
Growing up I don’t remember anyone specifically telling me “blacker skin is ugly”, but I do remember thinking “I don't have enough confidence to be dark skined” as early as middle school. It was as if a chip was put in my brain that switched on the moment I became interested in the way I looked. I was happy that my skin wasn’t as dark as some girls or my hair as short and nappy, but I wished day and night that my lips and nose were smaller.
Fast forward to late 2015 and people are appreciating full lips, big butts, and cornrows but not on black women. Everything we’ve ever been is taken, repackaged and celebrated. It’s seriously like a scene from Bring it On.
Lil’ Kim has recently been all over the news after debuting her new face and though people may think it’s funny, it’s really sad.
It seems easy for everyone to look at the photos and speculate on her insecurities and mental state without looking at what she’s been through. She said herself in an interview with Newsweek:
All my life men have told me I wasn't pretty enough--even the men I was dating. And I'd be like, 'Well, why are you with me, then?' It's always been men putting me down just like my dad. To this day when someone says I'm cute, I can't see it. I don't see it no matter what anybody says.Guys always cheated on me with women who were European-looking. You know, the long-hair type. Really beautiful women that left me thinking, 'How I can I compete with that?' Being a regular black girl wasn't good enough.”
When all you’ve heard is that you’re not good enough, and all you see in media is the exact opposite of you, what do you do? How do you stay strong and confident in yourself? How do you remain confident in yourself and your looks when all anyone in your industry talks about is slim red bones and foreign women?
So, here she is today with significantly lighter skin, a thin nose and blonde hair. She is one of the most public examples that people are still socialized to believe that black is not beautiful. And even after altering herself to look like what society says is beautiful she still isn’t “good enough.”
It’s sad that it’s taken this long for people like Viola Davis and Kelly Rowland to speak out and actively want to change society’s views on beauty. What’s even worse is that people are actively fighting to keep it the same.
[Tweet "Becky with the good hair is more than just some white girl."]
Becky with the good hair is more than just some white girl. It’s Vanity and Appolonia. It’s Kylie making big lips cool and claiming to have invented the wig. It’s the media saying Kim Kardashian ushered in the age of the booty. It’s being the baddest b***h in the game and your husband needing the exact opposite of you to find satisfaction.
So, if we want to be tired of Becky and want to send our cheating men right back where they came from, we will do that. And Iggy and any other woman who feel that “Becky” directly attacks them and whatever lip service they do (or don’t) like to provide --don't take offense. Becky with the good hair is bigger than you.
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Tiffany Perkins is the co-creator and resident natural hair guru at Tiffandcoco.com. Lover of lipstick and empowered women, Tiffany aims to encourage women to find their passion + live in it. Connect with her on Twitter and Instagram to learn more.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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The Quiet Luxury Skincare Products A Beauty Writer Thinks Are Worth The Hype
Luxury has become TikTok’s new obsession. Long gone are the days when it was cool to wear that t-shirt with GUCCI labeled across the front. Nowadays, the girls are all about keeping their luxury items a secret. Only opting for clean and high-fashion pieces leaves nothing but a mystery to the mind. Now that quiet luxury fashion has established itself as the latest “it girl” of the season, it’s time for her to expand to other areas, like skincare. Quiet skincare is a rising trend that is soon to take over the summer.
Local drugstore and trendy skincare must move to the left because now it’s all about the fabulous life of luxury skincare. Think Prada, Gucci, and Dior, but on your face. Now that’s what I call a good time! Of course, as your fellow beauty writer, I have done the Lord's work and tested out plenty of luxury skincare products. It hasn’t been easy, and trust me, I’m exhausted, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.
This is not the economy to mindlessly buy luxury skincare brands that will barely live up to the hype. Here are my recommendations for luxury skincare that are worth the hype and do what they say they’re going to do.
Tata Harper Clarifying Pore & Oil Control Cleanser with BHA & AHA
Sephora
Our skin and makeup will thrive by keeping our pores as happy as possible. Tata Harper's Clarifying Cleanser is guaranteed to put your pores in their place. This cleanser contains three key ingredients: pear flower enzymes, juniper fruit, and chlorella. Combining these ingredients helps promote exfoliation, oil balance, and soothe redness. I’ve enjoyed using this when those pesky breakouts come through, and my skin is calmer. A gentle clearing cleanser is all you need to invest your money in.
Dr. Barbra Sturm Face Mask
Dr. Barbara Sturm
Before we begin to apply the best of the best of skincare, we must prep our skin. The Dr. Barbara Sturm Face Mask is packed with nutrients to give your skin the supple hydration it deserves. I truly enjoyed using this face mask after my routine deep pore cleansing face mask - no, it’s not luxury, but it is to my pores. It’s safe to say that this face mask is best for all skin types and will have your skin glowing all day long. Aloe vera, known for its hydration and clearing properties, is the main ingredient in this product. After a few usages, I have noticed a massive difference in hyperpigmentation and hydration.
La Mer The Concentrate
This serum is going to cost you a coin. The product is set at a whopping $440. I can try multiple beauty products through brand PR packages as a beauty writer. I tried this popular serum with a small sample I inherited. Sometimes, a sample is all a girl needs to live a rich auntie lifestyle. The serum had my skin looking as incredible as the aftermath of a fresh facial appointment. This product aims to take all your money and rebuild your skin barrier. A secret miracle concentrate is packed into each bottle to enrich your skin. It also contains antioxidants that protect the skin from inflammation and environmental stressors.
Lancôme Absolue Soft Cream Revitalizing & Brightening Moisturizer
Lancôme
Bring your skin back to life with the Lancôme Absolue Soft Cream Moisturizer. Few brightening creams catch my attention, but this one has my heart. Shea butter is one of the key ingredients, along with vitamin E. I am convinced these ingredients have played a massive role in the deep hydration of my skin and the radiance I have experienced with this product. Although this item will cost you $165, a little goes a long way with this product. Shea butter is exceptionally moisturizing and shouldn’t be used with a heavy hand.
Dr. Barbara Sturm Under Eye Cream
Dr. Barbara Sturm is back at it, stealing our wallets one product at a time. Her undereye cream is an exception in terms of skincare. Are you crying at your job? This undereye cream has got you covered! This product is praised for reducing redness and dark undereye shadows, smoothing, and firming while protecting the skin barrier. I’ve used this product on good and bad days and found the consistency is similar to the face mask previously mentioned—hydrating, supple, and enriching.
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