I got six jobs, I don't get tired!
While I love this song by Kevin Gates, I don't care what he says, it doesn't matter if you are juggling two, three, four, or six jobs, you can get tired.
Tired physically, emotionally, and intellectually.
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Managing more than one job will test your patience and confidence, but it is definitely possible. While I'm not sure about the six jobs thing that Kevin Gates talks about (like really, who has time to work six jobs), I do think that having multiple jobs is possible.
When you work more than one job, be prepared to put in more than 40 hours a week, and see the financial gains as well. Sometimes depending on onesource of income doesn't cut it, and you also may see the value in having multiple sources of income.
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Working multiple jobs and having more than one source of income is very common. According to the U.S. Department of Labor, about 7 to 8 million of Americans (about 5% percent of all workers) work multiple jobs. Some people do it because of financial reasons, some people do it to gain experiences in another industry or field, and some people do it to live out their passion because their 9-5 won't allow them to do it. Nonetheless, people are looking for more ways to sustain their lifestyle, make more money, and work in industries that they are passionate about.
Recently, Drake spoke of his previous acting career, and claimed that he was forced to choose between acting and music. As you may know, Drake was an actor on Degrassi: The Next Generation, and during his acting years he had a passion for music. While acting, Drake was also in the studio, and he told W Magazine, “That was part of the reason I was kicked off the show."
He continued by saying, "Back then, I'd spend a full day on set and then go to the studio to make music until 4 or 5 a.m. I'd sleep in my dressing room and then be in front of the cameras again by 9 a.m. Eventually, they realized I was juggling two professions and told me I had to choose. I chose this life." In the interview, Drake also told the magazine, “I can't wait to get back into acting. No one ever asks me to do movies, and, although music is my focal point now, I'd love to do a film. That was the life that I lived before, and it would be interesting to live it again."
Despite the naysayers, Drake proved that you can juggle more than one job at once, but you have to be willing to put in the extra work. Although Drake wasn't able to continue his acting career with Degrassi, I learned a valuable lesson from his experience: Never let someone tell you that you can't do more than one thing at once.
[Tweet "You have to be willing to put in the extra work."]
For some aspiring entrepreneurs, we sometimes let go of our dreams because of what other people think, to make other people happy, or because we lack in other areas like time management, organization, and prioritizing. But having more than one hustle is definitely possible, and a smart way to make more cash - who doesn't love more money anyway? Working more than one job means early mornings, late nights, and a multitude of diverse responsibilities, so sometimes it is hard to maintain balance, your sanity, and commitment to each job.
Before you lose your mind or say to hell with your other side hustles, I recommend that you consider my 6 tips on managing multiple jobs.
1.Plan your week ahead of time
Every Sunday before you go to sleep, figure out the big picture for each job and what you need to accomplish for each that week. Set priorities and make a realistic schedule, and set reminders for yourself as well. For example, there are a multitude of things that I use to stay organized. I have a paper planner that I use so that I don't put myself in a position where I have too many things going on at once. I utilize my Google and iPhone calendar heavily to jot down any meetings that I have or when I will work on certain things. I even have my meals and workouts planned for the week as well. I schedule what days I will go out for a run and decide if I will do a morning jog or evening jog. I even plan out what days I can go to the gym and schedule how much time I will spend there.
[Related: Things to Do On A Sunday Night For A Better Monday Morning]
Between my planner and my calendar apps, I am able to stay organized without feeling and looking like #teamnosleep. Having under-eye bags is not cute, and being overly tired doesn't benefit you or your many jobs. Not only are you tired, but you are less productive, less organized, and the work that you put out may not be as great. Planning your week ahead of time will help you work smarter, not harder.
[Related: 4 Productivity Apps To Help You Get Ish Done]
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2.Be selective
When you are looking for ways to make extra money, try to find something that can further develop you. I don't recommend working three or four jobs that you are not passionate about and that you don't have an interest in. There is no point in putting your time and energy in work that you don't like. Now I understand that you may have multiple jobs because you need extra money. Even if you are not able to work in your desired field at your second job, find a way to learn valuable skills that can be transferable. For example, if you want to be a journalist, it may be hard to automatically get a writing gig at Ebony or People magazine. As a result, try to become a blogger for a smaller magazine or website to get your name out there and a portfolio. Although you are not living out your dream job, you are building the necessary skills that a journalist should have.
3. Don't spend all of your extra money
More jobs mean more cash. This means that you can save more, and invest in something. Your second job shouldn't mean that you can now go and out buy the red bottoms that you want, or swipe your card at stores that you wouldn't dare walk in when you were balling on a budget. I am not saying that you shouldn't reward yourself, but I am telling you that you shouldn't go crazy with your spending. When you start receiving those extra checks, make a plan to pay your bills, put a certain percentage in your savings, and then a little to yourself.
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4. Be honest with your bosses
When you have more than one job, there will be times when you may need a more flexible schedule. Be honest with all of your bosses and let them know what is going on. Although you used to be able to work a ton of overtime at your first company, you probably can't afford to do that now since you have another job. The idea of managing more than one job means that you need to be honest with yourself and figure out how much you can give to each job. When I first ventured out as a blogger, I told my boss about it. I wanted her to be aware for scheduling reasons and for other functions at work that I would normally partake in when I had the extra time.
[Related: If You're Not Spending Time With Your Boss, You Could Be Missing Out On Your Next Career Opportunity]
5. Don't forget to take care of you as well
As I mentioned earlier, when you work more than one job, you run into the possibility of getting tired. Being tired is normal, but you never want to put yourself in the position where you are burnt out. Take out time for yourself to do things that you like to do and learn how to unwind. For me, having a glass of Merlot while watching Scandal and polishing my nails helps me unwind (sometimes I even bring out my foot massager, some lemons, and essential oils and give myself an AMAZING pedicure - nail shop who?). I don't watch much TV, but I haveto have my Scandal fix every Thursday.
On the same note, you should also find time to be physically active and to eat healthy. Having a healthy diet will give you the energy and nutrients that you need to be successful. For me, cooking is also relaxing. I try to find time at least once a week to throw down in the kitchen making my Pinterest faves.
Last but not least, find time to SLEEP. Getting your beauty rest is important and during this time you are giving your mind and body a chance to just chill out.
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6. Know when you should say 'no'
When I first gained an interest in writing, I joined too many teams. I was writing different posts for several sites, my own personal site, and on top of all of that I was in graduate school and working a full-time job. I was too insecure to let a job go because I didn't want to feel like a failure. There is a saying that God won't give you more than you can bear, but I also believe God gave you a sound mind to make wise decisions. Don't be crazy and overwork yourself to the point that you are burnt out and depressed. It's okay to say no, and not accept every opportunity that comes your way. Even more, it's okay to cut the cord on certain projects or jobs when it becomes too overwhelming.
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[Related: 6 Kick-Ass Career Lessons We Can Learn From Journalist Keli Goff]
Are you someone that works more than one job? Let us know how you stay organized and what you do to stop yourself from going crazy with a lot of work.
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Thing is, with the divorce rate still being higher than it ever should be (for the record, a husband is not a boyfriend, and a wife is not a girlfriend; a marriage is serious business, y’all) and acting married being praised (or at least acknowledged) more than actually being married seems to be — folks who 1) are married and are looking for some hacks that will help with relational longevity or 2) want to be married someday and want insight on how to make their future marriage last are constantly seeking truly beneficial material.
Can you Google articles with random bullet points? Sure. And I’m not discouraging it. Every little bit of wisdom that you can pull, I fully support. However, the reason why I like to do articles like this one from time to time is there is something to be said from hearing real talk from multiple sources on the same topic who have some solid wisdom and knowledge on a particular topic.
Today? 11 married couples who were willing to talk about how they’ve been able to make it to several wedding anniversaries with a smile on their face and no regrets for choosing who they chose. Let’s all sit at their feet for just a moment.
*Middle names are always used in my content that’s like this so that people can speak freely*
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1. Kyle and Adrienne. Married 12 Years.
Kyle: “Some of your readers aren’t going to want to hear this but it’s worked for my marriage: people need to lower their expectations sometimes; I mean, men and women. We go into marriage with stuff that movies told us, social media told us, friends who are always single told us about what we should expect from someone, and then want to fault the person when they’re not what we made up in our head. Everyone should have standards but if you’re expecting your spouse to be some living version of a fairy tale character, you’re going to be disappointed almost every day of your life. Drop those expectations some and watch your relationship be a lot less stressful.”
Adrienne: “Talk to people who respect your man about your marriage. I’ve never believed that you shouldn’t ever go to anyone when you need some support. Even the Bible says that there is safety in wise counsel [Proverbs 11:4]. Too many women talk to women who don’t respect men, in general, let alone their husbands, and so that’s where things go left. Sometimes, you need an ‘outside in’ perspective. But if that woman is always taking shots at men, doesn’t respect marriage, or isn’t someone who holds your man in high regard, don’t ask her for advice. Really, you should ask yourself why you’re friends with her at all.”
Shellie here: I’m big on engaged and married couples having a “village” of sorts for their relationship, too. Check out “Why Every Engaged Couple Needs A 'Marriage Registry'” to get a good idea of what I mean.
2. Levi and Paulette. Married for 15 Years.
Levi: “Some of you have probably heard of the 7-7-7 rule. It’s where couples go on a date every seven days, have a weekend getaway every seven weeks, and go on a romantic trip of some sort every seven months. My wife and I do the 2-2-2 rule instead because sometimes our schedule and budget make ‘7’ difficult. It has gotten easier since Shellie told us about the sex jar. Bottom line, if you’re waiting for time to just open up to be with your spouse, that ain’t gonna happen. Schedule intimacy, including sex. Prioritizing it is better than saying you’re gonna be spontaneous and…never are.”
Paulette: “Initiate sex, dammit. When Shellie told us that men initiate sex most of the time, and then I thought about how often I used to push my husband away whenever he did it — I never really thought about how that made him feel until I put myself in his shoes. We’ve got to stop having all of this understanding for why women cheat when it comes to them not feeling desired or not getting attention when we’re the same way to our husbands. Your marriage isn’t ‘Young and the Restless’, where you’re just supposed to wait for your man to make the move. If you want to feel wanted, do the same thing for him.”
Shellie here: What’s a sex jar, you ask? You can read more about it via “5 Reasons Why Every Married Couple Needs A Sex Jar.”
3. Matthew and Gaia. Married for 17 Years.
Matthew: “Reenact some of your favorite times together. My wife and I do that semi-often. We’ll go back to where we had our first date, or we’ll go back to the hotel where we had some of the best sex before. Bringing back memories of when you felt the best together can give you the motivation to stay together to create some new memories to ‘play out’ later on.”
Gaia: “If you want to ‘mom your husband,’ you need to have kids — or at least get a dog! I didn’t realize how bossy I was until I got married. It’s because I saw my mom be that way with my dad. In my eyes, I thought that’s what love looked like until I watched how my in-laws were. They don’t try to change each other, and they definitely don’t make any demands. They’re very polite. I think a lot of married people are rude to their partner. Don’t be that.”
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4. Joseph and Carletta. Married for 10 Years.
Joseph: “Go to therapy for your childhood. I’m dead serious. No one is going to show you yourself like your wife will, and I realized that a lot of my hang-ups came from unhealed childhood stuff. It’s hard to be an adult in your marriage when you’re still emotionally a kid in a lot of ways. If you’re at the point where you think therapy is needed, go alone and deal with your childhood first. It did miracles for me and mine.”
"No one is going to show you yourself like your wife will, and I realized that a lot of my hang-ups came from unhealed childhood stuff. It’s hard to be an adult in your marriage when you’re still emotionally a kid in a lot of ways."
Carletta: “Meditate together once a day. Even if it’s just for 5-10 minutes, you need to carve out a moment to be mindful, focus on each other, and slow the world down. [Joseph and I] have been doing it for a couple of years now; it’s totally changed the way we communicate. Meditation reminds us to put each other first; that if we’re focused on each other, we can take on…whatever.”
5. Zeke and Rachelle. Married for 12 Years.
Zeke: “An argument is not a fight and a debate is not an argument. Learn that and you’re home-free. That’s all I got.”
Rachelle: “That advice that you just got? That sums up what it’s like to live with my husband. He’s very cut-and-dry, direct, and not wordy. That used to bug the hell out of me until I realized how wordy I was and then accepted that I wouldn’t want ‘two of me’ in the house [LOL]. He’s right. You can have a difference of opinion, and it be a debate. You can not find a middle ground on something and it turns into an argument. Neither of those is a red flag. It just comes with being with someone who is as much of an individual as you are.”
6. Taurus and Madison. Married for 22 Years.
Taurus: “Be prepared for your partner to change — not a couple of times, quite a bit. And when they change, that alters the relationship because now it’s not the person you stood with on your wedding day; it’s someone else. People get divorced so much because they are inflexible; they expect their spouse to never switch up and that’s just not how life is. If you’re rigid, controlling, or don’t know how to adjust, you don’t need to marry anybody. You’re gonna be miserable, and so will they.”
Madison: “Pray before sex. Before my husband and I got married, we had quite a bit of sexual history that caused us to do some comparing, and that led to resentment. In marriage, we had to adjust to how it’s more than just what we’re getting from another person. Married sex comes with so much more spirituality and responsibility. Prayer before sex reminds us to see it from a spiritual lens — and that makes the experience more intense and sacred. It might sound weird at first. Just try it. I don’t think you’ll regret it at all.”
"Married sex comes with so much more spirituality and responsibility. Prayer before sex reminds us to see it from a spiritual lens — and that makes the experience more intense and sacred."
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7. Karl and LaTasha. Married for 9 Years.
Karl: “Check in with your partner twice a day. In the morning before leaving the house and at night before going to sleep. If you work outside of the home, a lot can happen during the course of one day, so you shouldn’t assume that the person you left in the morning is who you are coming home to. I don’t mean sharing each other’s schedules or to-do lists. I mean, asking your spouse, ‘How are you doing? How are you really doing?’. It’s a smart way to take note of their mood and needs so that you are never blindsided.”
LaTasha: “Give each other some privacy. I have never been the kind of woman to go through a man’s phone, and I won’t start. If you think that you have to be a detective in your relationship, why are you in it in the first place? I know that Karl would give me codes and passwords if I wanted them because we’ve talked about it all before. Knowing that he would is enough for me. Marriage is an institution, but damn, it shouldn’t feel like jail.”
8. Thomas and Wynter. Married for 15 Years.
Thomas: “Ask your partner what their sexual needs are. Never assume that they haven’t changed because if we all agree that we are constantly growing and evolving as people, why would sex be exempt? Don’t personalize what they say about it either. All of us have sexual fantasies and interests that we keep to ourselves because we don’t know what our partner will think or ‘cause we think that they will create stories in their head about what made us think that way. I’ve learned that intimacy is feeling okay with sharing the deep stuff. The more comfortable a man, especially, is with doing that, the better the sex will be for everyone because talking about stuff like that is like taking down some walls.”
Wynter: “It’s okay to take one vacation a year with your girls and one by yourself. Just don’t go with people who don’t have the same standards as you, and as far as your solo venture, it doesn’t need to be longer than a long weekend. One thing that they don’t tell you about marriage is how there are times when you will feel like it is monotonous because of the routine of everything. A girls’ trip reminds you to get back to you outside of being someone’s wife or mom, and the trip alone is when you can sit around and do whatever you have to negotiate most of them. And yes, your man should be given the same courtesy.”
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9. Allen and Yvette. Married for 11 Years.
Allen: “STOP. BRINGING. UP. OLD. SH-T. SH-T. Nothing creates walls in a marriage more than you telling someone that you forgave them, and then the minute something else happens, here you go with the rap sheet of wrongs. Forgiving someone means that you are pardoning them, and that’s not what you’re doing if you’re constantly holding stuff over their head. One thing that marriage will show you is how bad of a forgiver you are. Most people suck at it, if we’re gonna be real about it.”
Yvette: “I already know that some women are going to assume that my man must’ve done something to say all of that (LOL). He’s a much better forgiver than I am, believe it or not. The real plot twist is, what gets on his nerves more than anything, is when I bring up stuff that he’s forgiven me for. Allen is the kind of man [who] hates to live in the past. I’ve grown a lot because of that. I think my advice would be to stay focused on solutions and tomorrow instead of problems and yesterday.”
Allen: “Sh- t, that’s bars, babe!”
Shellie here: INDEED.
10. Brennton and Danyelle. Married for 16 Years.
Brennton: “Why anyone who is trash at forgiving would get married is beyond me. It’s delusional to the nth degree to think that you are worthy of forgiveness and others aren’t — or that what you do isn’t ‘as bad,’ and that’s why you deserve forgiveness and others don’t. My wife and I have a lot of time under our belts. I’m here to tell you that there will be something, daily, that you will need to forgive your partner for on some level. If you can’t see yourself being open to that, marriage simply isn’t for you.”
Danyelle: “I don’t know who taught so many of us that being passive-aggressive will get us what we want, but it’s a damn lie. If something is wrong, stop saying ‘nothing’ when your man asks you what’s up because, if you’ve got a man like mine, he’s gonna say ‘Okay’ and go on about his day. Brennton often says that my refusing to speak isn’t his responsibility, it’s mine. That used to piss me off because, deep down, I knew that he was right. Oh, and chill on the grudge-holding too. With guys, that’s not going to get you anywhere either.”
11. Christopher and Yvonne. Married for 26 Years.
Christopher: “Have more loyalty for your spouse than you do your closest friend. Too many people don’t think like that. If you’ve got a friend since college, you’ve been through some things and you’ve learned to forgive and move past it. If you can’t see your wife or husband in this way, why did you get married? You should never have more grace for someone who you didn’t take vows with; that’s ludicrous. Before anyone else, I’m going to prioritize reconciling with my wife. It’s because I value her more than anyone. That’s what marriage is.”
"Before anyone else, I'm going to prioritize reconciling with my wife. It's because I value her more than anyone. That's what marriage is."
Yvonne: “Even if you’re not about ‘traditional gender roles,’ discuss what the expectations are for the home. People don’t divorce over cheating as much as getting sick of beard clippings in the bathroom sink or cars that look like pocketbooks. When you sign up for marriage, you are doing daily life with another person. Articulate your expectations. Listen to theirs. Be flexible until you both can make it work. Do that, and you’ll look up, and it’s been 20 years already.”
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Gems. Pure gems, y’all.
You know, popular consultant Barbara De Angelis once said, “Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day.” And love? Love is a choice.
And so, whether you’re married, engaged, or simply desire marriage in the future, hopefully, these tips will help you to choose how you love your spouse (or future spouse)…better.
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