What The Ween Awards Taught Me About Connecting With Peers And Women In Power Positions As An Introvert
When the date for the 6th Annual WEEN (Women In Entertainment Empowerment Network) Awards was announced, I couldn’t have been more excited. The event, held in New York City, is an awards show dedicated to honoring women who are leaders in entertainment, social justice, and entrepreneurship.
This year it would be no different – eight trailblazing women including Yara Shahidi, Dia Simms, Music Executive Ethiopia Habtemariam, Sandra Bland's mother and activist Geneva Reed-Veal, Meagan Good, Lil’ Kim, Teyana Taylor, and Teen Vogue EIC Elaine Welteroth were hand-picked for their commitment to empowering women, and for having overcome adversity to thrive in their respective fields.
Beyond my sheer excitement at hearing what these inspirational women had to say, I was also just as eager to network with my peers and top female executives, entrepreneurs, and entertainers who all share a passion for media, the arts, and female empowerment. However, with that excitement, came fear.
As an introvert, over-thinker, “Type A” personality, making meaningful connections at networking events has never been easy for me. In fact, at times it has been terribly, and sometimes embarrassingly, hard.
I never feel like I know the right thing to say, I get easily discouraged if my “hello” isn’t met with the same enthusiasm, I become sheepish about expressing my aspirations—the list goes on. But after moving to a new city where I knew only a handful of people, I was forced to confront my fear of networking in order to meet new friends and peers in the music and arts community.
Ween co-founder Valeisha Butterfield, Lil Kim and Entertainment attorney Londell McMillan
“Nobody can do what you can do, the way that you can do it. All that you have to do is be the best version of you.”
– Meagan Good, Actress
Over time, I have learned by trial and error what helps me to feel comfortable and confident in any room whether an intimate happy hour, or a high-profile event like the WEEN Awards:
Stylist June Ambrose with Teen Vogue Editor Elaine Welteroth and Apple Music Exec Bozoma Saint John
Practice your elevator pitch.
Whenever someone previously suggested fine-tuning my “elevator pitch”, it always took everything in me not to roll my eyes. Surprise, they were right. When interacting at networking events, you often encounter the same questions – what do you do, what do you want to do, and how can we help each other. Sit down and really think through the answers to those questions – it will lead to more productive and meaningful conversations.
Make sure your website and social media profiles are up to date.
It is always good to have business cards on hand, but I have found often when I mention my blog or my music, people go right to their phones to check out the site or follow me on social media. Don’t blow that opportunity to impress your future boss or collaborative partner by having a defunct website or inappropriate content on your social profiles. Take pride in your brand!
Do your research before approaching an industry titan.
If you see someone on the event bill that you are interested in connecting with, make sure you review their web presence. You may have a very brief window to catch their attention, so why not try to make the most of that opportunity by having some topic points in mind – you may find they are working on a new project, and you have the perfect tools to add to their team.
Scope out the event space and arrive early.
If you’re like me, particularly before larger events, you will have some (or a lot) of nervous energy. Don’t add to it by lacking a plan to travel to the event, or underestimating the number of people in attendance. Give yourself plenty of time to adjust to the energy of the event space, that way as the event is underway you are calm, cool, and collected.
Be prepared to be uncomfortable.
I always try to anticipate those first few moments when you arrive at an event and make eye contact with another person standing alone. Everything tells you to quickly turn away, but that is precisely the moment to engage. Take a deep breath, hold your head high, and lead with a smile —you can’t go wrong.
Teen Vogue EIC Elaine Welteroth and Blackish actress Yara Shahidi
[Tweet ""What a time to be alive. To be black. To be female...And to be empowered." - @ElaineWelteroth"]
Watch an exclusive recap of the WEEN Awards below:
Janay is a UPENN grad navigating her mid 20s. By day, a communications and marketing consultant, by night inspired creative — recording music, writing blog posts at ayminor.com and promoting her collection of short stories, Climbing Vines. You can follow her on Instagram and Twitter at @ayminor.
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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How A Stay At Switzerland's Luxurious 7132 Hotel Reminded Me To Live The Life I Deserve
Sometimes, as women—especially as single Black women—we simply need to be reminded that we are deserving of living a life we dream of. Even if that means creating it for ourselves. I recently set out on a weeklong trip to Switzerland, a trip I’ve been wanting to take for years, and near the end of my visit, I had an epiphany.
“DeAnna, this is the life you deserve,” I thought to myself as I took in the gorgeous bathroom in my suite at the famous 7132 Hotel and Thermal Spa. It was one of the most luxurious hotels (and bathrooms) I had ever stayed in—and that’s saying a lot for someone who often travels for work.
To help you better understand why this was such a mental awakening for me, I first need to give a bit of my backstory. I’m in my late thirties. I’m an attorneyand a journalist. I own a home and have traveled the world extensively. Essentially, I’ve done everything in life I set out to do. However, when it comes to dating, I struggle. Not because there is anything wrong with me per se, but because my career and “lifestyle” often create problems in my romantic relationships.
View from my hotel room
Courtesy
I’ve been told everything from, ‘I can’t continue to date you because you seem to choose your career over wanting to settle down and have kids’ by a man after only the second date to ‘Maybe if you just sat down somewhere for a while, I’d actually wife you’ by someone who has honestly never proven themselves to be the settle down type. And these are only a handful of the things I’ve been told over the years.
It’s been frustrating, to say the least, and there have even been seasons where I purposely dimmed my light in hopes that my career wouldn’t push away potential suitors. I know what you’re thinking, “Girl, why would you even consider that? If they’re for you, it won’t matter what you do.” Hey, don’t judge me, but also, I one hundred percent agree.
My hotel bathroom
Courtesy
That’s why this recent moment in Switzerland was right on time. When I first walked into the hotel to check in, I was blown away by the surrounding beauty. It was a five-star property with one of the world’s most famous thermal bathhouses. Yet, it was something about seeing that 90% of the hotel’s guests were couples, that forced me to sit back for a bit of introspection—while soaking in the thermal spa, of course.
As I went through the mental conversation, there was a battle of sorts. On one hand, I knew that being able to partake in experiences like the one I was having at that moment was important to me. I knew that, at times I actually love being able to dabble in the finer things—after all, I’ve worked hard to be able to afford them. On the other hand, and sadly, I knew that sometimes being a single Black woman that publicly showcases her “luxurious” habits can intimidate men and even scare them off from pursuing you under the guise of them feeling like they “can’t do anything for you, because you have everything.”
My hotel room
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So, what is a girl to do?
Do I minimize/hide the life and experiences that I have? Do I play down the hard work I’ve put in to get where I am professionally? Or, do I risk being single in exchange for being able to have said life, without backlash?
Luckily, the joy that I felt while being at this property won. There was something about taking a full day to simply pamper myself at the bathhouse and in my in-room steam shower and soaker tub, indulging in cuisine from a 2-star Michelin restaurant and doing all of this while surrounded by an amazing group of Black women that reminded me—this is certainly the life I was meant to live and that I deserve. Even if it means that right now, I’ll just have to provide it for myself until the right partner comes along. And honestly, I’m okay with that.
Restaurant at 7132 hotel
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