Are You And Your Ex Putting The 'P' In Petty?
There is nothing that gets the Petty Crocker popping in all of us quite like dealing with an ex or a fresh serving of heartbreak.
From Instagram posts to shady subliminals, some people take blasting your ex to a whole new level. If you aren't sure if you've been jamming to Petty Girl Rock yourself, here's how to tell:
Petty behavior is any action or comment that doesn't serve any purpose other than making the situation worse than it has to be.
Petty behavior is when you detour off the high road onto Smart Ass Avenue just because you want to win the argument, have the last word, or make the other person feel as bad as you do. At its worst, pettiness happens in a sad attempt to piece your pride together when you feel someone has destroyed it. Like the quote says, “If people are trying to pull you down, it means they think you're above them.”
All pettiness does is prove that someone touched a nerve and hit you where it hurts the most. Sometimes the best thing to do for a bad situation is to leave it behind you.
If you're still not sure if you've been pulling some Petty Wap moves of your own, here are a few signs you need to lay your immaturity to rest in the Petty cemetary:
1. Removing all evidence of your ex from social media.
You listening? Just because you remove any picture from your Instagram that features your ex, his sneakers, his toothbrush, or even those earrings he bought you last Valentine's Day doesn't mean the rest of us have forgotten how sprung you were for the last two months when we had to see his behind cheesing on your timeline every #MCM. I can respect the process of moving on and getting over someone, but just make sure you're cleaning up your mind and spirit as much as you're cleaning up that timeline.
2. Being extra with your “ex."
If you're tagging the summer fling you haven't heard from since 2007 in pictures of your newborn, you're officially doing the most.
I get it. Maybe you still have a little leftover pain from when he just ghosted you no sooner than the last Labor Day firework, but the best way to prove that you're totally winning that “life after him" thing is to actually move on. And moving on means you don't have to prove yourself to him by bringing his attention to pictures that have zero to do with him.
3. You start creating loans that never existed.
It was all fine and good when you were clicking “Confirm" on Travelocity without a care in the world of whose account that Playa del Carmen vacation was coming out of, but now that the relationship is through, suddenly you're tallying up every extra value meal homeboy got on your dime. Unfortunately, one of the casualties of any relationship is the cash that flowed freely between hands when your heart was in it, but a breakup doesn't entitle you to a refund on everything from movie tickets to Starbucks.
I remember when my now husband and I had our first blowout argument. After agreeing to take some time apart, he started seeing someone new. I remember the only thing I bought him at the time was a bathroom mat and some coasters and I took the first opportunity I could to make a scene out of throwing that ish on his lawn. I looked like a damn fool, but at the time, it was all I brought to the relationship. But let's be honest: Dude didn't really care about stepping out of the shower onto cold tile in the morning, nor did he care about the water rings his glasses were leaving on his coffee table. Let that ish go, girl. You look silly making a scene over all those in-app purchases he got in your name knowing damn well you shouldn't have added him to your family plan in the first place.
4. Suddenly making that person out to be the ugliest/dumbest/craziest person ever.
Contrary to popular belief, every break up doesn't have to be on bad terms. You don't have to force a friendship where you're giving dude advice on how to approach the co-worker he's nursing a crush on, but your ex can still be a good person even if they're not good for you. I can't tell you how many times I've seen friends write Pettysburg addresses on their Instagram about their “broke, trifling" ex-boyfriends and I can't help sit and wonder, “Where were all these bad qualities when you were making that man spinach omelets every morning?" It's OK to vent when you're fresh from rejection, and no one is perfect, but please do try to refrain from the frontin' and making your ex-boo out to be a total bad guy when he was the baddest bae to walk the earth a week ago.
5. Putting your ex on blast out of the blue.
If nothing else, you shouldn't send for someone you don't want coming for you. We've all had moments that we're not proud of or that we'd rather keep private. If your ex is somewhere minding his business, not making your life a living hell, there's no need to start making jokes on Instagram about his nasty nose picking habit unless for whatever reason, dude is still on your mind, sticky fingers and all. Leave the pettiness to high school cliques and continue being the grown woman you are who's too busy to be playing games.
What's the pettiest thing you've done after a break up?
Writer, sexual health superhero, and #BlackGirlMagic and #BlackBoy curator regularly featured on @Madamenoire. Toya can usually be found in between her earbuds, listening to trap music and refreshing her browser for concert tickets. Tweet her @thetruetsharee.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Robyn Dixon Confirms She Will Not Be Returning To 'The Real Housewives Of Potomac' After 8 Seasons
Robyn Dixon has officially confirmed the rumors of her exit from The Real Housewives of Potomac after eight seasons.
In the most recent episode of her podcast Reasonably Shady with co-host and her now former RHOP castmate and best friend Gizelle Bryant, Robyn revealed to listeners that Bravo did not ask her back. "It's reality. I was fired, for lack of better words," she said.
"And I will not sugarcoat the situation and say, 'Oh I am walking away' and this is a break or anything like this. This was a network decision. And, you know, I'm okay with it because nothing lasts forever."
News of Robyn's exit first made headlines in late March, as reported by The Jasmine Brand. On the Monday, April 15 episode of the Reasonably Shady podcast, Robyn explained the reason behind her decision to wait to confirm her departure now versus then. "I wanted to speak my own business, my own life, my own news, my own life, my own news, and I wanted to share it out of my own mouth when the time was appropriate.
"And I felt like the appropriate time would be once season 8 of The Real Housewives of Potomac was finished airing, which it is. now finished airing; the last reunion episode just went off last night. And I wanted to respect the network and respect the show and wait until the season ended, which I think makes sense," she continued.
Robyn's announcement comes shortly after news of Candiace Dillard Bassett's decision to 'take a break' from the franchise which came during the airing of the eighth season's three-part reunion special. Robyn has been a part of the Maryland version of The Real Housewives franchise since the beginning with viewers being privy to a lot of the series' vet's highs and lows, including her tax issues in season five where the reality star owed close to $90,000 in back taxes, and her engagement and subsequent remarriage with on-again-off-again partner turned husband Juan Dixon.
Some of the pair's trials as a couple became the center of controversy when cheating rumors swirled and the Dixons maintained a united front with both of them vehemently denying any outside affairs. In a slightly controversial move in 2023 following a season of denials of Juan's alleged infidelities, Robyn placed her transparency behind a podcast paywall instead of airing it out on the show, a decision that might have been seen as the beginning of the end for the 45-year-old.
The Real Housewives of Potomac has sparked much criticism over the years, largely stemming from viewers feeling as though the reality show suffers from colorism and perceived favoritism shown to particular cast members depending on skin tone and the emphasis on "fake" storylines instead of focusing on what is real amongst the group of women.
Some of those pain points were explored during the latest season's reunions with the cast members not getting very far in understanding their colorism experiences. "There's no better group of Black women on the Bravo network to talk about that than us," fellow housewife Karen Huger said in the explosive conversation in the second part of the reunion special.
"No, actually, that's very incorrect," Wendy Osefo interjected at the time, "because if you want to talk about colorism, then you need to have the range to talk about it. And a lot of people on this couch, whether you want to admit it or not, do not have the range."
Candiace has been very vocal about her perspective on colorism as it relates to the cast and it is speculated that that as well as favoritism played a part in the reason she announced her own departure from the Bravo series on March 25 after six seasons. Though she emphasized it was "not a farewell," but a "'see you later.'"
The 37-year-old singer told PEOPLE exclusively, "As I embark on a new chapter after six remarkable years with The Real Housewives of Potomac, I am filled with gratitude for the enriching friendships, personal growth, and moments of introspection that have defined this journey."
She continued, "With a whirlwind of new opportunities and responsibilities on my plate, I have decided to take a break from RHOP."
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Featured image by Mindy Small/Getty Images