True Life: I Love Him...But The Sex Is So Bad
What do you do when your relationship is amazing but there is no sexual chemistry?
You test-drove the car with your feelings already invested, but you hate the way it rides. Could you continue to love your man, spend a lifetime with him and your awkward sexual encounters, or do you walk away from the best man you have ever dated for the sake of an orgasm?
The idea that sex is this carnivore act, where flames ignite from within and fireworks explode in the background. That sexy explosion of passion and lust gets lost in trying to explore erotic sexual positions that we just never can get right. Although there is an insatiable hunger for sex and a whirlwind of lust happening in my panties, I find myself very sexually unsatisfied.
All other aspects of my relationship are perfect; the man is simply amazing. He is the calm before the storm, the light at the end of the tunnel, the proof that after kissing many frogs you can find your prince. He is slightly romantic in an adorable kind of way, and the perfect gentleman. This man is the ultimate provider and loves me completely. Sometimes I find myself praying to God to never take him away from me because I have never experienced this kind of love. Although this relationship is still a newborn baby that needs more foundation and nourishment, I can see myself marrying this man.
Yes ladies, I am in a perfect relationship from the outside in. But lets be honest, nothing is without flaw. This topic is too sensitive to confide in friends and family so I find myself asking the world wide web, what do you do when your sex life is boring?
[Tweet "What do you do when your sex life is boring?"]
I wonder if it is me, or maybe it is us and we are just not sexually compatible. There is also the fact that he is not the most, well endowed. But again no one is perfect and he has shown that he loves me flaws and all, so I do my best to reciprocate the unconditional love. There have been many Google searches and plenty of practice and sometimes we figure it out and have decent sex. I often wonder if this man asked me to marry him today could I live with our sex for the rest of my life? I am not ready to give it up but I am desperately afraid that our lackluster sex will be the demise of my most incredible relationship ever. We both try very hard to please each other and I appreciate his efforts. We adore one another and I am so very thankful.
So I guess my question is, what should I do?
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Crystal Renay Is Prioritizing Healing, Her Kids, And Her Coins Amid Divorce
Crystal Renay is reclaiming her time and her identity after dealing with heartbreak. The model was married to Ne-Yo for seven years and they share three young children together. However, after a cheating scandal that resulted in a baby outside of their relationship, Crystal decided to end her marriage to the “So Sick” singer. Now, she is focusing on her bag and her kids. She is co-owner of Johnny’s Chicken and Waffles, launching a lip kit line, and is back on TV starring in the new WE TV reality series Bold & Bougie.
But it wasn’t an easy road, especially with reality TV. From the beginning, Crystal and her castmates bumped heads due to misconceptions and alliances with her ex-husband’s former partner, Monyetta Shaw. However, the mother of three exclusively tells xoNecole that she doesn’t regret her decision to join the show.
Crystal Renay
Photo courtesy
“Honestly, being in that space, we had a– you know, when you're first getting to know people, sometimes it can be smooth, and sometimes it can be rocky,” she says. “In our case, it was a little bit rocky and just getting to know each other, and I like to call it growing pains. And I felt like we had a couple of moments, but all in all, like the experience was really good for me, and I would do it over again.”
Crystal describes herself as “career-oriented” and says she is in her selfish season because she is now prioritizing herself first. But she admits that she is still healing from her divorce. The reality TV star shares some tips for others who may be going through the same thing.
“I would definitely say pray, pray as much as you can. Try to take your emotions out of your reactions to things because it’s always going to be something that you don't like in the situation,” she says. “But we can't move off of emotion because 10 times out of 10, a few months later, you're not going to feel like that. So, I'm a firm believer in not doing things that I will regret later. So I would just say be patient with yourself and stay positive.”
While there may be an opportunity to find love again, that’s not Crystal’s focus at the moment. She is in the rebuilding phase of her life, emphasizing the importance of self-care, personal growth, and finding her own happiness. She has had her share of challenges, including dealing with negative emotions and the public's perception of her, but her priorities involve spending quality time with her children and running lucrative businesses.
“I would definitely say pray, pray as much as you can. Try to take your emotions out of your reactions to things because it’s always going to be something that you don't like in the situation.”
“With my kids, I'm very hands-on. I’m team mother with soccer kids, and they don't really make no goals because they like five years old, but I'm there cheering them on every week,” she jokes. “I want to travel, especially this summer, with my kids and take them somewhere internationally because they're at the age where they can handle a long flight. So, me just spending more time and more new experiences with my kids is my main focus with them and showing them all the love that I could possibly give them.”
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Photo courtesy of Crystal Renay