Confessions Of A Fashion 'It' Girl: "I Am Obsessed With Thrifting"
One thing I've learned when it comes to fashion and budget is if you can't afford it, don't trip. Just thrift! I grew up middle class. My parents --both from Haiti, migrated to New York before I was born. They were a poor, young couple but eventually made ends meet, so I'd say by the time me and my four siblings came into the picture, we were skimming the lines of middle class. I get my "Broke with Expensive Taste," approach to styling from my stylish dad. I can remember his unique pairing of his blazers and ties, and his incredible Tom Ford cologne.
As a child, my dad made sure we had clothes on our backs- and I mean the designer kind! He worked in the high-end department store Bloomingdales on 59th and Lex which granted him access to discounts (even on sale items). This of course allowed a young me to remain decked in high end clothing like Moschino, Guess, Calvin Klein, I.N.C., Stella McCartney- you name it. However, if I wanted to remain 'F' for Fly, I definitely had to be on my "A" game! My dad's only request in exchange for looking my best was that I bring home good grades. Sounded fair enough! Too bad back then I couldn't fully appreciate my high-end clothing at the time since I had grown so used to it. Back then I had no idea all these major labels I was clothed in.
However, my fashion life would change when I started thrifting, which I actually got into by accident. One day a quick trip running errands with my mom turned into me stopping in front of my first thrift shop. My mom is a "save every single dollar to the last penny-penny pincher," she always found great deals on clothing. I admired that.
(Dress $12 from Brooklyn Thrift Shop)
Being one for a good sale, my mom stopped to look through a clothing rack parked outside of a Brooklyn thrift store. This was the 90's now, and I'd never seen a store like this. It wasn't bourgeois like a Macy's or a Bloomingdale's, but more so a dope mash up of various clothing closets all in one. My mother turned to me, frozen in my awe and asked the question that would change my life (and style!) -- "Alex, do you want to go in?" I replied "Yes!" and the rest, as they say, was fashion history!
I started thrifting by my junior year of high school, when my parents could no longer afford to expense my wardrobe and buy me clothes. "Thrifting" is the art of shopping around from store to store for discounted fashion finds, usually of the previously-owned kind, many of which can be a vintage "steal of a deal!"
In the 90's I'd go thrifting in Brooklyn, especially Brighton beach. You have no idea what $20 could buy back then! It was insane. But this is also where the creativity took place. I had to learn how to wear my high-end designer clothing with my thrift finds and make it all look current. I could wear a pair of jeans three consecutive days out of the week and no one ever knew.
In the 90's, I usually found shirts for $1, $5, and $8, and because I purchase so many at a time, they give me a discount, leaving me with a few bucks left to shop some more! I purchased a lot of my thrift finds in Brooklyn and Manhattan. As I got older I'd go to Long Island and Queens there awesome places to thrift as well.
You can find a lot of designer stuff thrifting. Like awesome pieces that will never be replicated. You also have to be open-minded and hella creative because thrifting isn't easy... so patience is key! You literally have to dig through racks of things and kind of figure out how to bring some pieces to life with cool accessories, shoes, hats and handbags that you may already have at home.
Thrifting isn't easy so patience is key. You definitely have to develop an eye for it, because you'll almost never find your size. I'm an 'XS' and I can assure you everything I've purchased at thrift stores has been a size 8 ranging to a 14. but, I make it work!
Thrifting became a way for me to separate myself from the crowd. In high school everyone's style was all the same, almost uniformed. I hated it. I thought to myself "this is style?!" People call this "getting fly or best dressed?!" So I rebelled and did my own thing.
This is a denim Gap jacket that I found at the thrift shop for $8 bucks and the shorts were $5 bucks. What a steal! I paired them with my Jordan 3s and a simple white button up! Comfort x 10
My androgynous style started with always wearing my brothers clothes because at the time (90's) baggy clothes were in style. I even wore my dad's button ups! My dad hated it and continued to purchase these high end women Moschino clothing, Ralph Lauren, Donna Karen, Guess, Polo, Tommy Hilfiger etc. hoping his precious daughter would outgrow this "Tomboyish" style that she single handedly OWNED.
The in-crowd couldn't understand me and I could never reveal my secret. 'Where did u get that top?! Why did you get the white Jordan's instead of the red ones? Where did you get that necklace from? That's an amazing backpack, where is it from?!' Thrifting became my thing, my outlet.
I've seen people wear trends that they didn't like. Their reasoning with wearing this "trend" was because it was "in." Thrifting became a way for me to escape these "trends" and what's popular. I NEVER cared for those things.
I naturally have a pretty healthy imagination --thrifting helped fused my imagination and creativity together
I'm 100 percent all about individuality.
Here are three of my frequent places I thrift in New York:
L Train Vintage -- 1377 Dekalb Avenue, Brooklyn, NY 11221
Arthritis Foundation Thrift Shop -- 1430 3rd Ave, New York, NY 10028
Housing Works - Soho --119 Chambers St, New York, NY 10007
Happy Thrifting!!
All images courtesy of Alex Douby
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Stress Awareness Month: Sneaky Workplace Triggers Affecting Black Women, And How To Cope
We all know about the major stress triggers of everyday life, from relationship woes to monthly bills to unexpected emergencies, but there are small, subtle triggers that impact Black women in a big way, especially when it comes to work. It’s good to be aware of these sneaky stressors in order to maximize your day and find ways to incorporate solutions into your self-care routines.
Since it’s Stress Awareness Month, we caught up with Keanne Owens, LCSW, founder of Journey To Harmony Therapy Center, to talk about these triggers and what Black women can do to manage and cope.
Owens is an experienced South Florida-based counselor and social worker who offers her services via Grow Therapy, a therapy and medication management platform. She has worked with Black women professionals to unpack issues related to workplace stressors. “One is the pressure to perform–having to meet deadlines and deliverables. And a lot of times, these subtle stressors from performance are put upon ourselves as Black women. We want to make sure we’re doing our best. We don’t want to be critiqued in certain ways.”
Excessive micromanagement leading to fear of overly critical bosses is another subtle trigger that can negatively impact Black women in the workplace.
“Whenever something is done wrong, or we experience some type of injustice and have to report it, it’s the fear of retaliation–[fear that] we won’t be taken seriously or [our words] will be taken out of context because of being deemed as the ‘angry Black woman,’” she said.
Black Women And Workplace Stress Triggers
Her sentiments are backed by research. A recent report by Coqual found that 28% of Black women (compared to 17% of White men) say their supervisor uses “excessive control or attention to detail” when managing them. There’s more: A survey by the National Employment Law Project found that Black workers were “more likely to have concerns (80 percent) and twice as likely as white workers (18 percent) to have unresolved concerns at work, with 39 percent reporting they were “not satisfied with the employer’s response or did not raise concerns for fear of retaliation.”
The survey also found that 14 percent of Black respondents said they “avoided raising concerns to their employer for fear of retaliation—more than twice the average rate of 6 percent for all survey respondents.”
Owens pointed to the fact that these subtle stress triggers can negatively impact our physical health and our career advancement. “A lot of time it’ll affect our productivity,” Owens added. “We start to have negative thoughts of ourselves. The stressors can also cause fatigue. We’re no longer meeting or working up to our desired potential.” Other challenges as a result include insomnia and increased insolation, withdrawal, and lack of motivation to apply for jobs or promotions even when qualified.
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How To Manage Subtle Stress Triggers
While there are systemic issues at play for Black women at work that has less to do with us and more to do with major overhauls that must be addressed by the powers that be, there are steps we can take for the betterment of ourselves and our mental health. Owens offered the following tips:
Tap into a support system, whether it’s a coworker you trust, a family member, an organization, or an outlet like a hobby.
Create a good work-life balance before burnout even starts. “Having certain boundaries [is the goal] such as, for example, if you get off at 5, you get off at 5. If your job description is this, you don’t go above and beyond because that brings you to a lot of burnout,” Owens said.
Prioritize self-care, whatever that means for you. “If you don’t have a routine, create one. Practice mindfulness and even some meditation,” she added.
Create structure in your life outside of work. “Even if you have a family, applying some structure in your routine helps relieve stress,” she said.
Get into grounding techniques. “Do a real quick square breathing exercise, that’s literally 30 seconds, or you can do a grounding technique that’s less than two minutes, right there where you are. You don’t need any other materials. That’s something you can do with just yourself and your body.”
Ask for help. “As Black women, we don’t ask for help enough,” she said. “Find where you need to ask for help. A lot of times, people think that’s indicative of weakness, but we need to rewrite that narrative. It’s okay to ask for help where you see fit. [If] you’re a mom, [it could be] every Wednesday from 5 to 6, your children are with the dad. You have to carve out that time.”
For more information on Grow Therapy, visit their website. You can also find out more about Keanne Owens, LCSW, via BeginYourJourneyToHarmony.com.
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Featured image by Charday Penn/Getty Images