This Publicist Quit Her Job And Turned Her Former Employer Into A Client
Just over a year ago, Chardae Jenkins decided that it was time for a change.
She had a job that she enjoyed as a junior publicist for Allied Moxy, the African-American marketing arm of Allied Integrated Marketing. She worked with a team that she loved—a small group of go-getters committed to bringing entertainment marketing campaigns to life for films such as Straight Outta Compton and Barbershop 3: The Next Cut. Not to mention that the pay wasn't too shabby either, enough for Chardae to stack almost eight grand in her two-and-a-half years at the company.
But as enviable as her job sounds, Chardae knew that she had more to offer than what the position allowed, so she cleaned off her desk and packed away her self-doubts and made the leap into entrepreneurship as the CEO of her own PR and digital marketing company, The Transparency Agency.
“All of our clients at Moxy were film," says Chardae. “I think film is great but it's not the only stuff I'm interested in, so to me it was like now that I get film, let me like try something else. Let me see if I can do music or brands or personalities because if there aren't any films booming, then what am I supposed to do?"
Chardae is just one of many millenials who've said goodbye to the traditional job and jumped head first into the role of b-o-s-s. But unlike those who take the leap because of poor paychecks, bad bosses, and unfulfilling positions, the California State University grad departed due to her discomfort with stagnancy and desire to go to the next level in her career.
Leaving a steady paycheck wasn't easy, though. In fact, it go to a point to where Chardae literally couldn't stomach the thought of making such a huge leap with no safety net to catch her. “I felt sick and I felt like something wasn't right with my spirit. I couldn't sleep. I would be up all night just thinking," she says.
She shared her concerns with a close friend who encouraged her to try out a beach meditation in hopes of coming to a place of clarity. “That was like a push forward because it was a very emotional meditation for me. I was thinking about my family, where I came from and not wanting to disappoint [them], and I had gotten a wave of reassurance like don't worry about it, you're going to be good. Walk by faith and not by sight, and just do it."
"Walk by faith and not by sight, and just do it."
On October 2, Chardae quieted her qualms and with little prior planning or preparation left her job with nothing more than potential leads, a working knowledge of running digital marketing and influencer campaigns, and a few thousand dollars in her bank account to keep her afloat in the costly city of Los Angeles. “I was determined that even if I get down to my last six dollars, I'm not going to quit. I don't have kids. I'm not married. I don't have any commitments and I'm young, so if I want to try something it might not work out, this is probably the time to do it."
It was risky, but rewarding. Thanks to her admirable performance while working with her former employer, deep knowledge of their processes and systems, and strong relationships with the company's clients, the same job that she submitted her two-weeks notice to reached out to become one of her first clients. “A lot of people that work places and leave, their boss is like okay have fun. I didn't leave on bad terms; they were like you know what, Chardae understands how we work."
It's a testament to the power of relationships and speaks to the importance of why it's better to close a door than to burn a bridge. For Chardae, it gave her an opportunity to not only work on her own terms, but to work with a client that she already knew and trusted. “I have love for Moxy because they gave me my first start, so when they came to me I was more appreciative than anything because they didn't have to come to me. And I knew that I was still going to produce the same work, if not better, even though I wasn't there."
Chardae with Clients
In just a few short months the 25-year-old has signed on clients ranging from film partners to radio personalities and lifestyle brands, and thanks to lucrative social influencer budgets, admits that she's far from struggling and was profitable enough this year to hire a digital coordinator. One thing that she wishes she would've don't differently, though, is taken out a business loan as opposed to tapping into her savings. “I think I could've educated myself more on applying for business loans. I could've done more due diligence on that instead of being like I got the money, I just want to do this now. Not that bootstrapping is a bad thing, but if you can use somebody else's money it's like why not?"
Lesson learned. Thankfully pinching her own pennies didn't stop her from pursuing her dream. Chardae credits her father, who suffered from a massive brains stroke that left him paralyzed when Chardae was just 12-years-old, for being the quiet motivation that she needed to keep going even in the moments of uncertainty. “Everyday for the last 13 years that he's been paralyzed my dad has not quit on trying to learn how to walk, talk, or trying to figure out how to learn how to eat. So when I was looking at my dad and the situation that I was going through, I didn't have an excuse. I would go home and tell my dad about stuff and he would just tell me to go get that money. So I'm like alright dad, if you're not going to quit on what you're doing, I definitely can't quit. If something doesn't workout then it doesn't work out, and I'm just going to keep on going and figure it out."
If you had asked Chardae a couple of years ago where she saw herself in her career, she would've proudly shared her goal of climbing the corporate ladder and becoming the Vice President of a company. Now that she touts the title of CEO, she's glad that she can create a life where she can go to the gym or get a massage in the middle of the day if she chooses. “Things change and life changes. You form into a different person, and I think that's kind of the beauty of everything, the growth to say that, you know what, this was cool when I was thinking about it two years ago, but I was a different person and this isn't fitting for the person that I am now. And that's not in a negative way, it's just a development of your experience as a person and as a woman."
For the San Diego native, making her own rules and fearlessly pressing reset has allowed her to define happiness on her own terms, and that's the most priceless reward.
Originally published August 30, 2017
Kiah McBride writes technical content by day and uses storytelling to pen real and raw personal development pieces on her blog Write On Kiah. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter at @writeonkiah.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images