This Publicist Quit Her Job And Turned Her Former Employer Into A Client
Just over a year ago, Chardae Jenkins decided that it was time for a change.
She had a job that she enjoyed as a junior publicist for Allied Moxy, the African-American marketing arm of Allied Integrated Marketing. She worked with a team that she loved—a small group of go-getters committed to bringing entertainment marketing campaigns to life for films such as Straight Outta Compton and Barbershop 3: The Next Cut. Not to mention that the pay wasn't too shabby either, enough for Chardae to stack almost eight grand in her two-and-a-half years at the company.
But as enviable as her job sounds, Chardae knew that she had more to offer than what the position allowed, so she cleaned off her desk and packed away her self-doubts and made the leap into entrepreneurship as the CEO of her own PR and digital marketing company, The Transparency Agency.
“All of our clients at Moxy were film," says Chardae. “I think film is great but it's not the only stuff I'm interested in, so to me it was like now that I get film, let me like try something else. Let me see if I can do music or brands or personalities because if there aren't any films booming, then what am I supposed to do?"
Chardae is just one of many millenials who've said goodbye to the traditional job and jumped head first into the role of b-o-s-s. But unlike those who take the leap because of poor paychecks, bad bosses, and unfulfilling positions, the California State University grad departed due to her discomfort with stagnancy and desire to go to the next level in her career.
Leaving a steady paycheck wasn't easy, though. In fact, it go to a point to where Chardae literally couldn't stomach the thought of making such a huge leap with no safety net to catch her. “I felt sick and I felt like something wasn't right with my spirit. I couldn't sleep. I would be up all night just thinking," she says.
She shared her concerns with a close friend who encouraged her to try out a beach meditation in hopes of coming to a place of clarity. “That was like a push forward because it was a very emotional meditation for me. I was thinking about my family, where I came from and not wanting to disappoint [them], and I had gotten a wave of reassurance like don't worry about it, you're going to be good. Walk by faith and not by sight, and just do it."
"Walk by faith and not by sight, and just do it."
On October 2, Chardae quieted her qualms and with little prior planning or preparation left her job with nothing more than potential leads, a working knowledge of running digital marketing and influencer campaigns, and a few thousand dollars in her bank account to keep her afloat in the costly city of Los Angeles. “I was determined that even if I get down to my last six dollars, I'm not going to quit. I don't have kids. I'm not married. I don't have any commitments and I'm young, so if I want to try something it might not work out, this is probably the time to do it."
It was risky, but rewarding. Thanks to her admirable performance while working with her former employer, deep knowledge of their processes and systems, and strong relationships with the company's clients, the same job that she submitted her two-weeks notice to reached out to become one of her first clients. “A lot of people that work places and leave, their boss is like okay have fun. I didn't leave on bad terms; they were like you know what, Chardae understands how we work."
It's a testament to the power of relationships and speaks to the importance of why it's better to close a door than to burn a bridge. For Chardae, it gave her an opportunity to not only work on her own terms, but to work with a client that she already knew and trusted. “I have love for Moxy because they gave me my first start, so when they came to me I was more appreciative than anything because they didn't have to come to me. And I knew that I was still going to produce the same work, if not better, even though I wasn't there."
Chardae with Clients
In just a few short months the 25-year-old has signed on clients ranging from film partners to radio personalities and lifestyle brands, and thanks to lucrative social influencer budgets, admits that she's far from struggling and was profitable enough this year to hire a digital coordinator. One thing that she wishes she would've don't differently, though, is taken out a business loan as opposed to tapping into her savings. “I think I could've educated myself more on applying for business loans. I could've done more due diligence on that instead of being like I got the money, I just want to do this now. Not that bootstrapping is a bad thing, but if you can use somebody else's money it's like why not?"
Lesson learned. Thankfully pinching her own pennies didn't stop her from pursuing her dream. Chardae credits her father, who suffered from a massive brains stroke that left him paralyzed when Chardae was just 12-years-old, for being the quiet motivation that she needed to keep going even in the moments of uncertainty. “Everyday for the last 13 years that he's been paralyzed my dad has not quit on trying to learn how to walk, talk, or trying to figure out how to learn how to eat. So when I was looking at my dad and the situation that I was going through, I didn't have an excuse. I would go home and tell my dad about stuff and he would just tell me to go get that money. So I'm like alright dad, if you're not going to quit on what you're doing, I definitely can't quit. If something doesn't workout then it doesn't work out, and I'm just going to keep on going and figure it out."
If you had asked Chardae a couple of years ago where she saw herself in her career, she would've proudly shared her goal of climbing the corporate ladder and becoming the Vice President of a company. Now that she touts the title of CEO, she's glad that she can create a life where she can go to the gym or get a massage in the middle of the day if she chooses. “Things change and life changes. You form into a different person, and I think that's kind of the beauty of everything, the growth to say that, you know what, this was cool when I was thinking about it two years ago, but I was a different person and this isn't fitting for the person that I am now. And that's not in a negative way, it's just a development of your experience as a person and as a woman."
For the San Diego native, making her own rules and fearlessly pressing reset has allowed her to define happiness on her own terms, and that's the most priceless reward.
Originally published August 30, 2017
Kiah McBride writes technical content by day and uses storytelling to pen real and raw personal development pieces on her blog Write On Kiah. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter at @writeonkiah.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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I think we all can agree that social media really is a double-edged sword. What I mean by that is there is just as much bad that can come out of it as good. At the end of the day, it really is about 1) having your own mind, 2) finding balance when it comes to how much time you spend online, and 3) doing your own research instead of taking random people’s opinions as the gospel (i.e., facts).
Gee, I wish more folks did all of this when it comes to if a man needs to have a large penis to sexually satisfy a woman (he does not) and if a woman who has had multiple sex partners will ultimately end up with a vagina that is too large for smaller penises to please her (a lie).
Science totally has my back on debunking both of those things (more on that in a bit). Know what else does? A particular type of sex method that is becoming more popular by the day. One that just might convince you to, as they used to say back in the day, focus less on the “size of the wave” and ride out the “motion of the ocean” instead.
It’s called shallowing. Here’s what it’s all about.
What Is Shallowing?
GiphyIf there’s one thing that I wish folks would say more thoroughly when it comes to women and orgasms, it’s that when it comes to75 percent of women not being able to orgasm from only intercourse, the accurate statement is they struggle with achieving a vaginal orgasm without the assistance of some type of clitoral stimulation. Yeah, we’ve really got to remember that very few things in this life are a complete monolith — orgasms included (check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”).
In fact, it was while I was reading up on pairing — a word that is used for when clitoral stimulation transpires during penetration — that I decided to do some deep-diving into shallowing (because it was mentioned inone of the articles that I read).And what is it? Shallowing is when a penis, finger, tongue, or sex toy of some sort is used in order to ever so slightly penetrate the vaginal opening of a woman.
And why is shallowing not just a current sex trend but something that every woman on this planet should try? It’s because of what I’ve said, more than once, on this platform: it focuses on the most sensitive part of a woman’s vagina, which isthe first two inches of her vaginal opening.
When the emphasis is placed there, not only does it increase your chances of experiencing “the big O,” but it can also build up anticipation, which can intensify your orgasms too — yes, shallowing can also be seen as a form of edging.
Another thing that’s cool about shallowing is — and it really and truly can’t be said enough — something that makes vaginal and blended orgasms easier to achieve for some women really has little to do with the size of a man’s package or even his technique; it’s straight up anatomy. Yep, the closer that a woman’s clitoris is to her vaginal opening, the easier it is for a penis to stimulate both. So, science makes it possible for vaginal orgasms to be easier for some women than others.
At the same time, shallowing can make it possible for more women who want to see what a vaginal orgasm actually feels like (because it’s easier for the head of the penis to stimulate the opening of the vagina while the shaft can rub up against your clitoris; based on the position that you are in, of course — the missionary with some pillows propped under the lower part of your back is ideal for this).
Now that you see what shallowing actually is, do you get why I said that penis size doesn’t matter when it comes to doing it — and getting the kind of orgasms that you want? Contrary to popular belief, your vagina is only around four inches. In fact, some health experts say that it ranges between 2-4”. Anything larger, your body literally has to stretch out to accommodate; this includes penises and babies. So, if your vagina is “making room” for more than four inches, why in the world do you think you need a 10-inch man? Yeah…exactly. It really is time to get over the silliness. The average penis continues to be 5.5”. Makes sense when you take it all in (no pun intended).
Aight, so now that you know what shallowing is all about, let me try and hard sell you on why it’s a sex technique that you should try as soon as tonight (if you possibly can).
1. It takes the pressure off of you and your partner.
I’ve been working with couples for almost 20 years at this point. This means that the topic of sex comes up quite a bit. And if there’s one thing that continues to be an issue is inconsistent orgasms (check out “Why Do Orgasms So Often Seem Like A ‘Hit-Or-Miss’ Experience For Women?”).
Listen, no matter how many articles you read or sex positions you try, if you’re anxious, stressed out, or overthinking, it’s gonna get in the way of you experiencing high peaks of pleasure on a consistent basis. Since shallowing is something that can easily be done even in foreplay (via fingering and/ororal sex) if you get that first “release” off, that makes it easier to just sit back and enjoy the ones that (hopefully) are to follow.
2. It teaches you more about your vagina.
A part of the reason why I keep repeating certain facts about vaginas in these articles is that it’s amazing how little certain things are discussed en masse — like the size of the vaginal tube. And since shallowing helps you to stimulate the nerve endings at the entrance of your va-jay-jay along with your G-spot (which is housed a little ways from your opening), shallowing is a great way to explore that area of your body as you figure out what truly works for you and…what doesn’t.
3. It’s the perfect merging of foreplay and intercourse.
When you really stop to think about it, shallowing is like the bridge between foreplay and intercourse because you can use so many different things to do it. So, if you want to experiment with a new sex toy or you want a bit more time to “warm up the engine” before full-on penetration begins, shallowing is one of the most sexually arousing compromises there is.
4. It can help to increase your partner’s stamina.
A few years back, I penned an article for the site entitled, “We’ve Got Some All-Natural Ways To Increase Stamina & Sensitivity.” Listen, even though I onceread a GQ article that said that over 60 percent of the people they polled were fine with intercourse lasting no longer than 5-10 minutes — that poll doesn’t speak for all of us, chile.
So, if you would like your man to build up to going longer, shallowing can help to make that happen. Since he’s barely putting beyond the tip in, he can learn how to be in you for longer periods of time without being, well, in you.
5. It helps you to appreciate whatever “package” he has.
Again — and it really can’t be said enough — if shallowing is all about exploring the mere entrance of your vagina, you don’t need a man with BDE (check out “BDE: Please Let The 'It Needs To Be Huge' Myth Go”) or honestly, even anything close to it.
I mean, even though, reportedly, the size that the average woman says gives her the most orgasms is eight inches — I bet those women have never really tried shallowing before. 10”, 8”, or the average 5.5” can certainly get the job done. And well.
6. It feels A-MAZ-ING.
Okay,so now that you know about shallowing, I promise that if you put the word into your favorite search engine, you’re either gonna see articles on golfing (LOL) or sex, especially as of late. That’s because more couples are trying it out and getting mind-blowing results from it. So, if you’re looking for something new to try, give shallowing a shot.
Hey, anything that’s designed to stimulate your most intense vaginal nerve endings has got to be something for the record books. I mean, how could it not be? Lawd.
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Featured image by Juan Moyano/Getty Images