This Husband's Message To His Wife Struggling With Depression Will Have You In Tears
Within the past few years, I've fallen so deep into an emotional valley that I wasn't sure how to climb back to level land. I wondered why things were suddenly falling apart and not fitting back together. But having always been the strong one who usually rebounds, it only looked like a slight tumble to some of those looking at me from above.
“Snap out of it," a few said.
“Get over it!"
“It's a just test."
Well, excuse me. These aren't words we're trying to hear when we're feeling low – as a matter of fact, they often make us feel worse – but one can see a semblance of hope when she has the right support.
On the photo sharing platform Imgur, user, who goes by the alias Mollywho, recently shared a few reasons why she spiraled into a deep state of depression, including: having trouble at work, getting married but not having the funds for a real wedding, and being estranged from family and friends. In short, the girl has caught a bad case of the every day life blues!
She went on to admit that she isn't the easiest person to deal with, and often takes her grief out on her husband. But instead of him taking it personally or clapping back with empty clichés, he did this:
Upon returning from a trip to San Francisco, "Molly" found a note from her husband on the couple's bedroom mirror with a list of all of the reasons why he loved her. She shared:
Amidst all the struggle, my husband has relentlessly tried to cheer me up. I've not been the easiest person to deal with. In fact, sometimes I've lost all hope and even taken my frustration out on my new husband. But he somehow forgives me every time. I have a long journey ahead of me, and I know he probably realizes I'm depressed. But he holds my hand, and he tries his best. Today when I came home from a trip to SF, I flopped onto my bed in tears. I looked to my left, and saw these words painted all across my mirror. I think he wanted me to remember how much he loves me. Because he knows how quickly I forget. He knows I struggle to see good in the world, and especially the good in myself. But here it is. A testament and gesture of his love. Damn, I needed it today...
The list says:
1. she is my best friend
2. she never quits on herself or me
3. she gives me time to work on my crazy projects
4. she makes me laugh, everyday
5. she is gorgeous
6. she accepts the crazy person i am
7. she's the kindest person i know
8. she's got a beautiful singing voice
9. she's gone to a strip club with me
10. she has experienced severe tragedy yet is the most optimistic person about humanity i know
11. she has been fully supportive about my career choices and followed me each time
12. without realizing it, she makes me want to do more for her than i have ever wanted to do for anyone
13. she's done an amazing job at advancing her career path
14. small animals make her cry
15. she snorts when she laughs
He sounds like one of the most loving and nurturing people many of us wish we knew. Can he be my friend? Better yet, does he have a brother?!
Mollywho points out that of course a list isn't the cure to depression, but it is one part of a regiment to recovery.
“I'm not saying mental illness is cured by nice words on a mirror.In fact, it takes professional care, love, empathy, sometimes even medication just to cope. Many people struggle with it mental illness—more than we probably even realize. And instead of showing them hate or anger when they act out. Show them kindness and remind them things can and WILL get better."
She also posted a reminder of what love is about:
We all have our down days. And sometimes we don't handle it well. BUT, we are partners. He is here for me when I'm down. And I cherish that. And he has his down days, too. And I will be there to hold his hand, just like he holds mine. Life can be hard. The answer is never to mock, scoff, or belittle someone. Be kind. Be the best version of yourself. And be most of all- be patient.I'm still struggling, but I'm glad I have my other half to help me make it through. It may just be a few words on my mirror, but I'll look at them when I wake up and know I'm not alone. I'll know I have my bestfriend, my co-pilot in life to help guide me through.
The feels!!
What do you do to help deal with depression or to help someone get through it?
I write about lifestyle and women's health and wellness. When I'm not in front of a computer screen crafting stories, I'm in a kitchen crafting cocktails. Follow me on the 'gram @teronda.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Bianca Belair Opens Up About Her Mental Health And Self-Care Practices As A WWE Star
Bianca Belair has earned her title as a SmackDown superstar within the WWE. Now, the wrestling champion is opening up about how she stays on top of her mental and physical health.
In conversation with ESSENCE, the former RAW Women’s Champion discussed the importance of prioritizing her mental health and how she maintains her mental well-being overall.
“Mental health is everything,” Belair told the publication. “I think everybody focuses so much on the physical. You go in the gym and you’re training and you’re working hard and you’re sore. You feel good about yourself. But mental health is just as important.”
For Belair, prioritizing moments of rest is a key component of her mental health practices, due in part to her demanding schedule that keeps her “on the go.” She shares how her career, coupled with the expectation to focus on performing and pleasing fans, can lead to mental exhaustion from giving so much to others.
“I’m constantly so focused, grinding, I’m constantly performing; where you go out there and you’re smiling and you’re meeting fans and you’re putting smiles on fans’ faces, sometimes you tend to forget about yourself and you become mentally exhausted or you give so much of yourself to the world,” she says.
She adds, “When you get to your home life where you have your loved ones, the ones that truly matter and that are going to be there, even when everything’s said and done, you don’t have anything for them. You don’t have anything for yourself. So I get mentally exhausted just from being physically exhausted.”
In April, Bianca Belair spoke at WWE World on how she plans to stay ahead of the competition amid her many career achievements within the wrestling industry.
“My work speaks for itself. I’ve done a lot of things that no one can ever take from me. I’ve main-evented WrestleMania, I’ve made history,” she said. “I only want to step in the ring with who thinks they are the best because that’s the only way I can be pushed to be even better.”
Belair, 35, concluded by dispelling the misconception that self-care requires extravagant activities like spa treatments, highlighting the simplicity of activities like resting and watching favorite shows in bed as valuable forms of self-care.
“I have to remember to do things that I enjoy,” she says. “I think that mental health and self-care sometimes has a misconception when people think that it’s this extravagant thing where you have to go to the spa, you have to get cucumbers and put them on your eyes and get massages. Sometimes I just need to sit down and decompress, lay in my bed and do my guilty pleasure and eat in my bed and watch all my shows.”
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Featured image by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images