This Awful Hotel Room Experience Is How I Learned That Marriage Is About Making Memories
My husband is my best friend in the whole wide world.
What I love about our relationship is that when he can, he tries really hard to impress me. But he's also missed the “positive impression" mark several times since we've been hitched. Especially that one time he booked us a couples getaway at a "hotel" in Houston. Our stay ended with us fighting roaches off of us like we were part of the extended version of the movie 300, that included a not-so-ripped black couple.
The roaches looked exactly like this army.
It was the worst hotel that I've ever visited. Like ever. In life. But it was also the best time I've ever had with him, and it taught me that marriage is about making lasting memories. It also taught me to never allow your partner to book a hotel room without checking the Yelp! reviews first.
It all happened last summer when my husband and I started making plans to pick up our son from his granny's house outside of Houston. My son had spent six weeks of his summer vacation with his grandmother, and he was having the time of his life. To allow him time to eat breakfast, and say goodbye to his cousins, we made plans to pick him up on a Saturday afternoon.
The problem was that traffic on I-10 is congested at that hour, and my husband is a very impatient man. So he came up with an idea: We would drive to Houston when there was no traffic, and stay in a hotel about 15 minutes from his mom's house. In his mind, that would be the perfect opportunity for us to enjoy each other away from home before we picked up our son.
This sounded like a great idea to me, so I started probing him for details, but he wasn't having it. All he would tell me was that he found a great deal on a hotel room online, and that we were going to have a good time, and I couldn't ask him anymore questions. He was the boss of those plans, and he had everything covered.
So I went with his plan, and I even promised him that I wouldn't read the Yelp! reviews before we arrived at our destination.
Wrong. Move.
The minute we got to the hotel room, and before we could put our bags down, we started boxing roaches.
After our sparring matches, my husband, who was utterly embarrassed, called the front desk to ask for a different room. 20 minutes later, instead of coming back with a new room key, he came back with a can of roach spray. The front office had given him a really crappy excuse for why they wanted to keep our money, and not let us change rooms.
But my husband was intent on making the night memorable. He kept saying, "Baby, I promised you a relaxing time, and damn it we're going to have one!" I felt so awful for him, that I let him lead the way again.
Wrong move.
Because we don't have a roach problem at our own home, he didn't know that once he sprayed the room with bug spray, that it would make the roaches come out more. For the next several hours, we boxed with several dozen roaches like we were in a hood fight.
My boo and I went so hard fighting roaches that we slept a total of four hours that night. When we weren't fighting roaches, we were yelling expletives at them.
Even worse was the fact that my husband thought he saw some people selling drugs several doors down from our room. When he couldn't take it anymore, we hopped in our car, and drove as fast as we could away from our "trap house hotel." As soon as we got on the road, he started apologizing to me over and over.
But despite everything that happened, I had a blast and I let him know it as soon as he started apologizing. Not only did I lose a little weight boxing our uninvited guests, but he gave me one memory that I would never forget. Sure we could have stayed in a luxury hotel, but it didn't happen that way. He booked us a hotel that was really a trap house, and we ended up creating a memory we never will forget.
I also realize that I'm a really lucky woman to have a man who I consider my best friend. I know women who are married who would kill to have their husbands put in a little more work and do things that are thoughtful. I didn't see anything he did as failure. If anything, it showed him that he truly had a ride-or-die chick, because not many women would have stayed in the hotel room to throw shoes and shade at roaches, no matter how much she loved him.
But let's be clear - I would never stay at that hotel ever again, and I'll also never allow him to book another hotel room without checking Yelp! first.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Illuminate Your Path: Your Astrological Guide To Navigating Eclipse Season
Eclipse Season this year is about focusing on where you are directing your energy, and what new developments taking place are helping your personal and relationship growth overall. This first Eclipse Season of the year is a ground-breaking time for relationships, and we are seeing where more balance may be needed here. Eclipse Season is when the eclipses of the year happen back-to-back, first at the beginning of the year and then in the second half of the year.
This first Eclipse Season of 2024 will be in the signs of Aries and Libra, who are sister signs in Astrology. This combination of Eclipses will highlight how you are balancing your personal goals with those of your relationships and where life goes when you are leading from the passion of your heart.
What The First Eclipse Season of 2024 Means in Astrology
Eclipses are always an eye-opening time, and they tend to bring massive changes and wake-up calls. The Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Libra on March 25 is one of those times, and this Eclipse is all about letting go of the past in love. During a Lunar Eclipse, we are presented with a type of clarity that changes the direction of things, and with this eclipse happening in Libra, a lot of this has to do with relationships and finances. We are presented with an opportunity to learn through love, and to also gain a deeper understanding of what is needed in our partnerships, financial world, and sense of peace in life.
During this eclipse, ask yourself where can you bring more balance into your one-on-one relationships, and where can you let go more. This eclipse will be the second part of the Libra Eclipse from October 14, 2023, so think back to what was happening then, to see where some final clarity is beaming on such matters.
The New Moon Solar Eclipse on April 8, brings new energy into our lives, but the stability of said matters can be somewhat shaky for the time being, especially since this eclipse will be happening in feisty Aries. With this eclipse aligning with the North Node and Chiron who are currently in Aries, however, new opportunities and spaces for healing are presenting themselves overall. Look out for the synchronicity during this eclipse, and expect the unexpected. Solar Eclipses have the power to reinvigorate you and your life, and you can tap into its powerful energy by moving forward with a new beginning and not shying away from change.
This Eclipse Season is a reminder that you are worthy of success, freedom, clarity, and love, and it’s time to unburden yourself from the fears and restrictions towards that. With Mercury in retrograde during this Eclipse Season, things can feel intense during this time, and it will be showcasing what better ways you can navigate and understand both the mind and the heart. Remember, it’s all about having balance right now, so do the things you feel are going to keep you in that space.
Read for your sun, moon, and rising sign below, to see how this Eclipse Season will illuminate your life.
Eclipse Season 2024 Horoscope Predictions for Each Zodiac Sign
ARIES
This Eclipse Season is even more significant for you, Aries, being that they are happening in your sister sign, and later in your sign. The lunar eclipse in March is an awakening time for you, and it’s awakening your inspiration, creativity, and passion for life and love. You are having some eye-opening moments right now and are seeing the clear vision of your future and the past you are leaving behind. Your guidance of the Lunar Eclipse in Libra is to let go of making things harder than they need to be on the path to your dreams and focus on how you can make your visions a reality.
The second eclipse of this Eclipse Season will be in your sign on April 8, and this Solar Eclipse is another one of those enlightening experiences for you. You are getting the answers you have been looking for and are setting yourself free from the things that restrict your sense of self. You are not playing small right now, and you are truly creating from the heart. Remember to take things one day at a time during these eclipses, however, as Mercury will also be retrograde in your sign in the midst of it all. Things are shaking up for you right now, but you are the one in charge of it at the end of the day.
TAURUS
Your intuition is your most powerful asset during this Eclipse Season, Taurus. The Full Moon Eclipse happening at the end of March will highlight that truth to you and bring things to the surface that remind you of how far you have come. This eclipse is a time to take care of yourself, focus on your inner and outer well-being, and be around the people who inspire you.
You are leading the way forward right now, but also need some time to truly grasp what you are leaving behind in the process and what you want to dedicate yourself and your time to now.
The Solar Eclipse in Aries, occurring on April 8, will be in your 12th house of closure, healing, dreams, and spirituality, and you are seeing the gifts of creating more space and freedom in your life. This is a time of gaining some powerful insights and opening up to new perspectives that allow you to heal. You are starting from square one in many ways right now but are moving forward towards more progress nonetheless. The mountains you have climbed are behind you now, and it’s time to expect more ease and to believe that things can be more effortless for you in life.
GEMINI
Balance is needed during this Eclipse Season, Gemini. The first eclipse happening on March 25 will be occurring in a fellow air sign, Libra, and you are positively aligning with the energy. This is a Lunar Eclipse of seeing dreams come to fruition and feeling a deep sense of fulfillment in your life. With this Full Moon Eclipse highlighting your 5th house of romance, you are seeing some pleasant occurrences in love bloom for you now. You have had high expectations and have not wavered on what your heart wants, and you are seeing the success that comes from having this type of faith in yourself and the universe.
On April 8, there is a New Moon Solar Eclipse in Aries, reminding you that sometimes letting go means moving forward. You have gained a lot of clarity on where the love is in your life and where it isn’t, and you are looking to move away from those people or experiences who leave you feeling more drained than loved. There are some surprises in store for you now, and you are working on creating more space to let them in. Focus on your community, your friendships, your soulmates, and how you can be more vulnerable or honest with others about how you are feeling in those spaces.
CANCER
This Eclipse Season for you, is about getting into a good headspace, Cancer. The Lunar Eclipse on March 25 is highlighting what thoughts and perspectives have been limiting your personal growth, and which ones encourage. You are letting go of fears, self-sabotage, and overthinking what needs to be trusted more. With this eclipse happening in your 4th house of home, family, and foundations, this is where shake-ups will be happening and where you may need to work on letting go more. This is a good time to journal your thoughts, meditate, and get some extra rest.
The Solar Eclipse in Aries happening at the beginning of April will be a time of passion, finding a new direction, and overall you are connecting the dots right now. Your career, goals, and professional world are all highlighted during this eclipse, and this is where new beginnings are more likely for you now. Remember to give yourself more compassion and self-trust when it comes to the dreams you want to see through and know that sometimes all it takes is making that first step towards them to feel better about everything.
LEO
It’s time to take a pause and to regroup, Leo. This Eclipse Season is giving you just that, and some more patience will be needed during this time. The Lunar Eclipse on March 25 is giving you the space to rethink some future plans and goals. You may feel like things are being put on hold right now, and that’s because more information needs to come to the surface. Mercury will be retrograde during this Eclipse Season and it’s not the time to rush what needs more growth.
Know that when plans change, a better path is being opened up to you, oftentimes even better than expected.
The Solar Eclipse in Aries on April 8 is about making some important decisions for your future. You are being presented with a few different opportunities and new doors opening right now, and you are being reminded to not only make decisions from the head but from the heart, too. Focus on where you are feeling called and pulled towards rather than what you think people are expecting of you. It’s time to broaden your horizons and focus on the big picture of it all so that you can make the decisions that are not only going to benefit you right now but your future as well.
VIRGO
This Eclipse Season is a big time of change for your financial world, Virgo. You are balancing the abundance you are bringing in, with the future abundance you are investing in, and this is the time to sort through this area of your life. The Lunar Eclipse on March 25 will be bringing things full circle for you financially, and you are receiving your success and due rewards now. This is an abundant Full Moon for you, and one when you are embracing the support from your peers and support systems and are focused on what your personal growth can do for the growth of your relationships as well.
The Solar Eclipse, however, may need more of your patience and grace as you are juggling a lot during this time, Virgo. This New Moon is overall another chance at a new beginning for you and your personal sense of abundance, but it’s also reminding you to not take on more than you are prepared to. Make sure you are thoroughly looking over expenses, contracts, and the budget this Eclipse Season, as you may have to spend more than you were expecting. Overall, there’s a chance to put yourself in a better or more stable position financially during this eclipse, and you are letting go of not valuing your time, energy, and skill as much as you should.
LIBRA
A time of love, connection, and clarity is upon you, Libra. This Eclipse Season is beginning in your sign, with a Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Libra on March 25. You have been focused a lot on your goals in love while also trying to put yourself first more here, and you are finding the perfect balance in the middle right now. With this eclipse in your sign, you are moving through a metamorphosis this Eclipse Season, and it’s bringing forth the clarity of what you need and want in love. You are seeing clearly what path is going to lead you to more of the things you want here, and are letting go of worrying about whether you will receive them or not.
The Solar Eclipse in April is happening in your opposite sign, and you are experiencing a positive renewal in love. You are coming together with another, and the changes that are happening in your life right now are overall beneficial to your relationships and your love life. What you were once daydreaming about and putting the feelers out there for is manifesting for you now, and it’s all about embarking on a new journey of romance. Life is unfolding for you and showing you how good things can get for you when you bridge that gap that separates you from another, Libra.
SCORPIO
This is a rejuvenating Eclipse Season for you, Scorpio. You are feeling empowered with the changes that are flowing through your life now, and they are the ones you have been planning for and expecting. The Full Moon Lunar Eclipse on March 25 is a big letting go for you, and you are letting go of the fears that have been keeping you away from showing up, expressing yourself as you wish to, and claiming the abundance that is meant to be yours.
You are proving to yourself that you deserve the good that’s in your life and on its way to you, and you are ready to let go of it, also feeling like you have to do it all on your own.
The second eclipse of this Eclipse Season is happening in your 6th house of health, work, and daily lifestyle, and you are seeing the benefits that come from putting your well-being first. This is a good time for feeling balanced in life and like what you have been putting out there, is coming back to you in positive ways. You are financially moving through a time of success this Eclipse Season overall, and gifts are coming in for you now, Scorpio. Believe in the impossible, and nourish your life from the inside out.
SAGITTARIUS
There is a lot to grasp this Eclipse Season, Sagittarius. You are being guided towards relaxing more and taking a step back to assess your situation and the path ahead of you. With the Lunar Eclipse on March 25 happening in your 11th house of community, hopes, dreams, and friendships, this is a good time to reach out to the people you feel seen and supported by. Know that when you are going through something heavy, sometimes it’s necessary to ask for help so that you don’t burn yourself out trying to solve something on your own that you don’t understand. This eclipse is all about letting go of what doesn’t serve you or your personal growth and gaining new wisdom, Sag.
The Solar Eclipse on April 8, happening in fellow fire sign Aries, is another moment of needing some extra strength. Through the growth you have been through, you put yourself on a whole new playing field in life, but with what has also come, some more challenges you may not have been expecting. This Eclipse is asking you to confront where you may be feeling some guilt or shame in pursuing your passions or interests and how you can clear the way for yourself more here. Overall, this Eclipse Season is showing you how capable you truly are.
CAPRICORN
You are moving through a time of massive breakthroughs, Capricorn. You are generally in good spirits during this Eclipse Season, as the growth you are experiencing now is a magical development for you. The Lunar Eclipse in Libra is one when you are trusting your intuition and letting go of some projects or goals that don’t align with the skills and interests you see in yourself now. Your professional world is being highlighted with this eclipse, and you could be changing jobs, letting go of an old dream, or overall rebuilding in this area of your life. This eclipse is asking you to trust yourself more and to check in on how you have been feeling about your progress and how you want to present yourself and show up in the world.
The eclipse happening on April 8 is a breath of fresh air for you and one when you are experiencing some happy outcomes and occurrences. You are overall feeling more stable and sure of yourself and where you are headed right now, and a lot of this growth is coming through for you in the home. Through the goals you were letting go of and the goals you were recreating for yourself, you find yourself in a new environment now, and there is something bright and fulfilling about where you are at the end of this Eclipse Season.
AQUARIUS
This Eclipse Season for you, Aquarius, is a time to gain clarity of the mind and of the heart. The Lunar Eclipse on March 25 is happening in a fellow air sign, and you are feeling the synergy in your life during this time. This eclipse is highlighting your 9th house of adventure and perspective- and it’s a good time to gain some right now. You are overall letting your heart lead the way, and are finding yourself in exciting company and spaces. This eclipse is bringing in a fresh start for you in love and is also giving you clarity on where you have truly healed here.
The second eclipse of this Eclipse Season is happening in the sign of Aries on April 8, and this is a time when more rest, self-love, and self-care are needed. You need some time to truly relax your mind and give yourself the freedom to not think about anything heavy for the time being. You have recognized how important it is to be in a good headspace when you are moving through life and your experiences, and for you, oftentimes, that means getting some time away for yourself and healing within that alone time. Overall, this Eclipse Season is easing the mind and awakening the heart.
PISCES
This Eclipse Season is a big deal for your partnerships in life, Pisces. You are navigating the changes you are experiencing here, but also the breakthroughs you have been able to make happen for yourself here as well. The Full Moon Lunar Eclipse on March 25 is turning things around for you for the better and you are moving through a time of development when it comes to your commitments and where you have been putting your dedication and energy. Life is coming full circle, and you are receiving the support and good fortune that you deserve, Pisces.
Let go of feeling like you have to prove yourself, and trust that you are exactly where you should be and that you have done the work.
The Solar Eclipse on April 8, is another groundbreaking time for you, only this eclipse is more focused on your financial world and creating a safe environment for your income to grow. You could be receiving a raise, promotion, new job opportunity, or overall the clarity needed to create a better financial present and future for yourself. Everything is lining up for you this Eclipse Season, and it’s all about moving with change and trusting the divine timing of your life right now, Pisces.
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