These 3 Women Boldly Quit Their Jobs & Changed Careers
Passion.
Purpose.
Do you feel it when you clock into work everyday? When those two things can't be found in the work we do, we reevaluate whether we have chosen the right career paths for ourselves. Some of us get to the point where we fall out of love with our careers or we discover that want we wanted to do for the rest of our lives isn't the right fit for us. We start to panic wondering if it's too late to start all over again or if it is even worth it?
It's never too late to switch careers. Many women are switching careers and embarking on new paths to fulfill their passions, accommodate their lifestyle and to live in their own truths. Discover how three women were able to make drastic changes to their career and lifestyle in order to align their career goals with their purpose.
Despite the skepticism their family and friends may have, these women are betting on themselves.
"My Passion Made Me Leave Corporate America."
Wanting to impact change in the world and equip children with STEM skills and opportunity enticed Kelley O. Williams to switch careers. Kelley, her sister Jessica and her mother Rachel joined forces to create their family business, Paige & Paxton, which offers children's books, elementary curriculum and professional development focused around STEM. Before becoming an entrepreneur, Kelley was the Assistant Vice President of Social Media at J.P. Morgan Chase and oversaw the social content strategy Chase Community Giving, the largest social property at the firm with 3.7 million followers across all platforms. She decided to switch her career as she saw the Paige & Paxton brand grow including the recent contract to work with the Chicago School System.
“I did not take the same precautions I would advise people who are preparing to make the switch from a full time gig to entrepreneurship. I had a significant amount of money saved, good credit, and the ability to live rent-free while I transitioned over to full time entrepreneurship. I actually did not prep and plan to change careers. It felt like the right moment to act, and I was emotionally and mentally prepared, so I did it," Kelley shares.
She let the negativity roll off her back when some of the people close to her did not agree with her decision. “I never took it too personally, because I know that my family and friends mean well, and the nervous and negative reactions just served as a source of motivation for me," Kelley shared.
What helps her shake the negativity away is knowing and understanding her purpose. “A child interested in baseball will make their parents send him to baseball camp. A child who wants to be a ballerina will finagle dance lessons. I know that parents and educators will be more open to committing the resources to children who demonstrate an interest in learning STEM concepts. Whether your parent is an engineer in Silicon Valley or not, I want to ensure that all children understand the breadth of opportunities available to them when someone asks the question 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'" Kelley shared.
Since leaving J.P. Morgan Chase, Kelley had to figure out how to gain credibility for her expertise without having a big name to back her. “When you have a corporate title and brand behind your name, it's really easy for people to gauge who you are. You don't need to prove your credibility as much. I had to rework my identity for the first time in a long time, but now I love what I do and what I stand for so much more," she says.
"I had to rework my identity for the first time in a long time."
In addition to building the brand she experience typically start-up woes. “Like most startups, the biggest challenge has been timely access to capital. It's something that we have to manage constantly so that we can continue to grow the business. Another challenge is balancing marketing and sales with product, content development and production," Kelley adds. Her advice for making that switch to becoming an entrepreneur is to seek advice, but stays true to your purpose. “Always seek the advice of good counsel, because every time you open the door to what you are going through you will find better solutions and feel less alone in the entrepreneurial journey. However, you should also trust your instinct. You know your business and customer better than anyone else," Kelley says.
"My Circumstances Changed My Career Path."
That moment when you make the decision to switch careers can be affected by circumstances, like it did with Ka'Lyn Banks. The 25-year-old thought that her passion was in education. After graduation, she became a preschool teacher at charter school in Washington, D.C. "I was let go from the school for being too vocal about the lack of education and diversity amongst other things and that is when I realized I don't belong in a classroom with small children. I still love to teach, but I know that I need to work with adults," Ka'Lyn said.
Discovering that she desired a platform where she could discuss and advocate on issues of her choice, she decided to pursue a career in digital media as a consultant. After becoming unemployed, Ka'Lyn struggled with the decision to switch careers. “I had been dealing with depression and had to start therapy. Unemployment amongst other things can take a toll on the mind. I found myself often times blaming myself for losing my job and being forced [somewhat] to switch careers," Ka'Lyn said.
Not everyone will be in support of your desire to switch careers. Sometimes people won't understand your desire to make a change. Switching careers can be a difficult decision, especially when it affects your income and changes your lifestyle.
"Not everyone is going to understand your decision to change careers"
Ka'Lyn fiancé's support and assistance with bills as well as the encouragement from friends, kept her from falling apart. Not everyone is going to understand your decision to change careers. Especially, when you set off to become an entrepreneur. “[My parents] are still not 100% sure if they understand why I am not working a traditional 9-5 job with health benefits and a corner office," Ka'Lyn said.
Although her switch was difficult Ka'Lyn learned some valuable lessons. “My advice is to protect your energy because people will drain you dry with their comments, opinions, unsolicited advice and negativity. Also, save money before you make the switch. I don't have a special dollar amount but even having an extra $20 dollars will help on the day you need something," Ka'Lyn shared.
"I Wanted To Walk My Own Path & Not My Parents'."
Some of us have family members who create our career paths from birth. They've prepped and molded us to become one thing, but your heart wants to do another. That's what happened to Bianca Jeanty when she switched her career course from pre-med to advertising. “In school I was studying behavioral sciences and I thought I would move forward by going into medical school or something in the health field. My family is from the Caribbean. They are Haitian and they were like are you going to be a doctor, lawyer or engineer? What are you going to be?" Bianca said.
She returned to college after a sabbatical from school to finish up her senior year, Bianca knew she did not want to pursue a career in the health industry. Per the advice from her mentors and peers, she completed her behavioral science degree, but she knew she had a long road ahead to break into the media world. “I made it my business to find the resources that I needed to get where I am today. I talked to the right people so that I could understand the industry and be able to use the language to talk up what I want to do," Bianca says. After taking on a variety of paid and volunteer opportunities to gain the experience and skills that she would need to break into the media world, she finally was offered a job in advertising. Now Bianca is working in the field that she tenaciously pursued and paying it forward as the Co-Founder of Minorities in Media digital hub.
“Bet on yourself! That's my advice. I loved the jobs that I had prior to this one, but no one was going to get me the advertising role that I wanted except for me. You can do so much more than you think you can," Bianca says.
"You can do so much more than you think you can."
No matter the circumstances that may lead you to consider switching careers, the decision is only yours to choose.
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Brittney Oliver is a marketing communications professional from Greater Nashville. Over the past three years, Brittney has built her platform Lemons 2 Lemonade to help Millennials turn life's obstacles around. Her platform is known for its networking mixers, which has brought over 300 NYC young professionals, entrepreneurs, and creatives together to turn life's lemons into lemonade. Brittney is a contributing writer for Fast Company and ESSENCE, among other media outlets.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Not too long ago, while in an interview, someone asked me for a top complaint that I hear husbands say (first) and then wives state (second) as it relates to what goes down (or doesn’t go down) in the bedroom.
Ladies first: when it comes to women, I think what comes up more than anything might surprise some: it’s boredom. A lot of wives want there to be more spontaneity instead of taking the “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” approach from their partner. As for men? I mean, would anyone be shocked to hear that they wished their wife would initiate sex more often?
I’m telling you, over frequency, technique, and even dressing up more for bed (and yes, those things also come up quite a bit), hands down, what I hear that more men want is for their partner to show them that they are desired by taking the initial steps to make copulation happen…more often.
And so, since I’m all about doing whatever I can to reduce dissatisfaction and frustration in the bedroom department, let’s explore this very topic today — from a few angles. For starters, what it truly means to be a sexual initiator; two, why it’s so vitally important to be a sexual initiator, and three, why it could literally change the entire tone, energy, and outcome of your sex life with your partner — if you’d simply be open to initiating sex more often than you (probably already) do.
What It Means to Initiate Something. LITERALLY.
Giphy
I’m word-literal — there’s no secret about that. So, when it comes to the topic of initiating sex, let’s start with what the word means. To initiate is “to begin, set going, or originate” and “to introduce into the knowledge of some art or subject.” Some synonyms for initiate include begin, open, set up, trigger, admit, introduce, and invest. And when it comes to all of the meanings of these words, between men and women, when it comes to sex specifically, guess who does it more? Men. BY A LONG SHOT TOO: a whopping 60 percent.
When it comes to why a lot of women are so comfortable with men initiating intimacy, many think that, just like men should pursue them for a relationship, it is also “the man’s role” to pursue sex in the bedroom; they literally think that it makes them look desperate or needy for them to be the initiator — yes, even as a wife. What in the world?
Listen, when two people sign up to be each other’s exclusive sex partner until death parts them, it means they are both saying that they desire each other so much that they are willing to make that kind of commitment — and so, there should be no “I don’t want to appear this way or that” when it comes to sexual activity.
So, with all of that ridiculous overthinking out of the way, that should make you want to “set up” some sex plans, “admit” to some sexual fantasies that you may have, and “introduce” some new ideas to your partner; especially since that’s exactly what so many men wish that their lady would do, to begin with.
So, with all of this said, if you’re someone who is hung up on not initiating, first spend some time really processing what the word means. Because when two people are eager to begin sex and invest in each other sexually, that is the recipe for a truly satisfying experience…over and over and over again.
C’mon. Who Doesn’t Want to Feel Wanted?
GiphyI remember once reading an article that said our brain processes rejection the same way that it does physical pain, and y’all, I don’t know about you, but if something is physically hurting me, my natural inclination is to get away from it. Along these lines, when it comes to relationships since research has proven that rejection can lead to things like jealousy, shame, anxiety, loneliness, and guilt — yes, it makes all of the common sense in the world that you would want to do all that you can to make your partner feel wanted…both in and outside of the bedroom because, just like no one wants to deal with physical pain, no one wants to keep dealing with rejection and all of the fallout that comes with it…either.
Actually, when it comes to this particular point, I think that an article that I once read on Psychology Today’s site said it best: “Not only does being needed help define your role in a relationship, but being needed can also influence how satisfied you feel in a relationship.” And before some of you say that “sex is not a need” — the hell you say? I mean, the only purpose of your clitoris is to provide sexual stimulation, so that alone should make us all deem sex (and sexual fulfillment) as pretty damn important.
Plus, by definition, a need is something that is deemed as being essential while also being something that is extremely necessary, and anyone who thinks that a romantic relationship doesn’t need physical intimacy? That’s someone who really needs to remain single because one of the top things that makes a relationship more than a friendship is there is intimacy that’s involved.
Besides, who doesn’t want to feel wanted by their partner — and I do mean, in every way? And when you make the decision to be in an exclusive relationship with someone else, you are declaring that they are someone who pleases you to the point where you don’t need to look for anyone else to do it; and, if that is indeed what you are saying, it doesn’t make sense that you wouldn’t initiate sex with them sometimes (and I do mean more than on their birthday).
One, because you choose them to “fill that role.” Two, because they are the source of your fulfillment in that area. Three, because it’s completely unfair (not to mention totally hypocritical) to expect them to make you feel wanted when you’re not being intentional about making them feel the same way in return. Not to mention the fact that initiating also helps to safeguard your relationship on a lot of levels too.
Since sex is important and rejection is detrimental on so many levels, it’s crucial to make your partner feel sexually wanted and desired by you. One way to definitely do that is to initiate sex.
What Initiating Sex Does for You
GiphySo, what does initiating sex do for the initiator? Something that I tell a lot of my women clients is it helps them to create an atmosphere that puts them in the mood. What I mean by that is, if their husband is perfectly content having sex on the couch during commercials (I’m kind of exaggerating to make a point…kind of…LOL) while they would like some candles, mood music, and rose petals — they can control that if they are the one who initiates.
Another perk that comes with being the initiator is you have more “control” over how the sex goes. The kind of foreplay you want, how fast or slow things go, how intercourse begins — all of this, you have more of a say so in if you’re the one who is initiating intimacy. Why? Well, think about when your bae initiates — doesn’t it seem like you tend to follow his lead more when he’s the one who is first to get the ball rolling?
Oftentimes, when a couple comes to me about being sexually dissatisfied, and I recommend that the one who doesn’t initiate takes more initiative, the one on the receiving end likes the fact that their partner is “running the show” — and the initiator likes “being in charge” more than they thought that they would. As a result, both end up experiencing far more pleasure.
The initiator shows what they want more of while the receiver feels desired in the process. A win/win for everyone.
What Initiating Sex Does for Him
sexy black and white GIFGiphyA couple of weeks ago, while in a session with a client, he was joking about how much he has “too much of a good thing” when it comes to his wife’s libido. Although science says that the fact that men have a higher amount of testosterone in their system, and it is the reason why they typically have a higher sex drive, don’t sleep on a lot of women out there who want to get it in more than their husband does. His wife is one of them. Since she’s a client of mine too (oftentimes, we do our sessions separately), it’s interesting that he’s fine with having sex a couple of times a month while she would like to a couple of times a week.
So, is he denying her when she wants it more often? Nope. The reason why they’re not having more sex is that even though her drive is higher, she still waits for him to initiate. Why? Because she thinks that’s what “the man should do”; not only that but “being wooed” turns her on more.
As I’ve been working on helping them to find a middle ground (because if marriage ain’t about compromise, I don’t know what is), he says that he feels like because he plans a lot of the dates, he wishes that she would initiate more: “I don’t think a lot of women get how hard it is to be a Black man out here. Nothing feels better than knowing that if no one else is thrilled by your presence, your woman is. For us, initiating isn’t just about sex. It’s about feeling wanted as a whole. And when we feel like our woman adores us, there is no greater turn-on.”
I’m not sure what y’all heard, but what it sounds like to me is when we, as women, initiate sex, men feel holistically special and cherished. That makes sense, too, because if we were to put our feet in their shoes, we would probably say the same thing. That’s just one more reason to pull the “gender roles” out of this topic; men and women both want to feel like they are the best thing on the planet by their sex partners. And again, initiating helps us all to feel that way.
What Initiating Ultimately Does for Your Relationship As a Whole
Issa Rae Love GIF by Insecure on HBOGiphyPersonally, I can only imagine how much better sex would be for everyone (who is in a sexual relationship) if people simply initiated copulation whenever they wanted to have it. That way, everyone would feel desired — and what could possibly be wrong with that? Especially if both individuals factored in some of the definitions for initiated that I already shared. Just think about if you rushed home tonight because you read about something that you want to introduce to your man or there’s a fantasy that you have that you want to admit.
The mere conversations alone will help to bring the two of you closer together because, after all, deep intimacy is about minds, bodies, and spirits getting as close as possible…right? And so, yes, by initiating sex, it can bring more closeness and stability to the relationship as a whole.
And what if you initiate and your partner isn’t interested at the time? Or what if you’re shy about initiating due to having a fear of rejection? That’s a fair and legitimate concern. One day, I’ll need to pen an article on how couples should handle situations like that with grace (on both ends) while applying the golden rule of “doing unto others as you would have them do unto you.” For now, I’ll just say that if this is your greatest point of concern, share that with your partner as well.
After all, it’s pretty unrealistic to expect them to always want it when you do (although it’s been my experience and observation that men are almost always far easier to convince…LOL); just know that not wanting sex at the exact moment that you do doesn’t mean that they don’t want you altogether. Besides, oftentimes, a nap or a night of sleep can rectify that issue. Trust me.
____
Rihanna was actually once quoted as saying, “To me, sex is power. It’s empowering to do it because you want to do it.” I personally think that’s a great way to bring this to a close. Make your partner feel wonderful, empower yourself, and strengthen your relationship by initiating sex more often. I can’t think of one reason why it’s not a wise move. Can you?
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