Most Women Are Here for 5 Minute Sex
No woman wants a one minute man... but a five minute one? Now we might be talking.
Contrary to our favorite eroticas, it was revealed that most women do not necessarily desire nor require a power-hour of extended intercourse. According to Penn State Eric Corty and Jenay Guardiani, who conducted a survey of 50 sex professionals (including doctors, psychologists and other researches who are in constant contact with sexually active women through their profession), five minutes (the median between 3 to 7 minutes) was the average for "satisfactory" sex.
Cum again?
These were the results in detail:
"Too Short" sex is 1-2 minutes
"Adequate" sex is 3 to 7 minutes
"Desirable" sex is 7-13 minutes
"Too long" sex is anywhere between 13 to 30 minutes.
Researchers also added that the idea that intercourse should be full-course marathon comes from the media's unreal portrayal of it. According to various sexperts, most men take about 5 to 10 minutes to climax while women can take about 10-20 minutes (with foreplay included, less with foreplay excluded). About 75 percent of women also experience "clitoral" climaxes, which can bring them to orgasm quicker. Knowing what works for your body, along with communication with your partner on what satisfies you both is so key:
"A man's or woman's interpretation of his or her sexual functioning as well as the partner's relies on personal beliefs developed in part from society's messages, formal and informal. Unfortunately, today's popular culture has reinforced stereotypes about sexual activity. Many men and women seem to believe the fantasy model of large penises, rock-hard erections and all-night-long intercourse. "
In other words: A little sweat during sex doesn't hurt, but don't sweat the technique!
Keep it mind, it is also important to add that knowing the difference between a quick in and out and getting-it-in-for-the-win is crucial. The actual act of engaging in intercourse is not the same as the extended amount of foreplay that may take place before hand. All the things that heighten your senses as a man and woman (kissing, teasing, touching, rubbing, feeding... each other food *smile*) is not included.
A few years ago, the ladies of The Real talked about their preferences when it came to the bedroom. They proved the stats to be somewhat true after host Jeannie Mai took a roundtable survey and asked her co-hosts how long they thought the "horizontal mambo" (aka sexual intercourse) should last. Their responses were honest, with the average time being anywhere between 7 to 13 minutes for exceptional sex.
For example, Adrienne Bailon was the first to respond and her idea sexy-time was around "20-30 minutes."
"I think more people would have [sex] more frequently if they didn't think... it would be a 3 hour marathon. I hear a lot of women say 'I don't want to have as much of it because I'm tired!' I feel like on weekdays and on work days, a good 20-30 minutes is right on point. That is including kissing and foreplay. A good 20 or 30 minute as a night cap or when you wake up in the morning!"
A very shocked Tamera asked Adrienne and the audience whether or not engaging in sex for an extended period of time brings discomfort or even "hurts," with Adrienne defending her half-hour cap on sex by stating that this includes foreplay and kissing too:
"20 minutes is not something crazy you guys! 30 minutes is not a lot of time; that's as long as a sitcom! I think that people that want to have this hour long situation, there are for sure snack breaks in-between, a little rest time, and some 'Can you grab me a water out the fridge.'"
Tamera Mowry-Housley broke it down best:
"I believe there are two different ways you can have intercourse. For one, I really enjoy making love. Making love requires time. To me, that is like 15 minutes, that is not including foreplay. Then I believe there is another way of having intercourse, which is the "wam, bam, thank you ma'am," which is like 5 minutes-"
Jeannie Mai: "I love that one! The 5 minute one!"
Tamara: "Right? And it's all the same, you just feel it different ways some time."
So in "short" (no pun intended): When it comes to "doing" it, just do you boo-boo!"
And don't confuse the "length" of time per moment with the frequency and amount of times you engage in intercourse and love-making. Know what is best for you and your partner so that you both might enjoy sexing more and stressing less!
What are your thoughts on this, ladies?
A modest goddess who keeps it humble between mumbles. I'm a journalism graduate with a HERstory in digital media, print and radio. Roll the credits: Power 96, VH1, xoNecole, EBONY, SOHH. Deemed "Top 20 Women in Media" by Power 105. Bronx made me, Broward raised me.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Rihanna Talks Shedding Expectations And Finding Balance As A Mother
Since becoming a mother in 2022, Rihanna has defined parenthood by her terms and hopes to pass that sense of autonomy on to her children.
For Vogue China’s April cover story, Rihanna shared her perspective on raising her two sons with A$AP Rocky, and how she hopes to preserve her children’s uniqueness, devoid of societal expectations.
"The most beautiful thing...is that [children] come into the world with their own individuality and sincerity, without any logic or conformity,” she told the publication. “Which usually makes you feel that you must fit into a certain group."
The “Work” artist, known for her trendsetting style and captivating persona, expressed her desire to support children in fully embracing their individuality and encouraging them to be whoever they want to be. "It's really beautiful to see and I want to continue to help them navigate that and make sure that they know they can be whoever they want to be,” she says.
She continues, “They should embrace it completely, because it's beautiful, and it's unique. I love them just that way."
From shattering music charts to shaking up the beauty industry, Rihanna has forged a path that has since created the “dream” life we see today. One that she says has made her parents proud of.
“I’m living my dream,” she continued. “My parents were very proud of that because they just wanted me to be happy and successful. So, I think the key thing is to find some kind of balance. Yes, balance is important. Do this and you get the best of both worlds. You can write your own life the way you want, and it will be beautiful. Sometimes, you just need to let go of everyone’s expectations and start living your own story.”
Rihanna, who shares sons, RZA, 23 months, and Riot, 8 months, with rapper A$AP Rocky, recently shared her vision for expanding her family in the future in Interview Magazine.
When stylist Mel Ottenberg asked about the number of additional children she hoped to have, Rihanna replied, "As many as God wants me to have.”
"I don't know what God wants, but I would go for more than two. I would try for my girl,” she adds. “But of course, if it's another boy, it's another boy."
Featured image by Neil MockfordWireImage