Most Women Are Here for 5 Minute Sex
No woman wants a one minute man... but a five minute one? Now we might be talking.
Contrary to our favorite eroticas, it was revealed that most women do not necessarily desire nor require a power-hour of extended intercourse. According to Penn State Eric Corty and Jenay Guardiani, who conducted a survey of 50 sex professionals (including doctors, psychologists and other researches who are in constant contact with sexually active women through their profession), five minutes (the median between 3 to 7 minutes) was the average for "satisfactory" sex.
Cum again?
These were the results in detail:
"Too Short" sex is 1-2 minutes
"Adequate" sex is 3 to 7 minutes
"Desirable" sex is 7-13 minutes
"Too long" sex is anywhere between 13 to 30 minutes.
Researchers also added that the idea that intercourse should be full-course marathon comes from the media's unreal portrayal of it. According to various sexperts, most men take about 5 to 10 minutes to climax while women can take about 10-20 minutes (with foreplay included, less with foreplay excluded). About 75 percent of women also experience "clitoral" climaxes, which can bring them to orgasm quicker. Knowing what works for your body, along with communication with your partner on what satisfies you both is so key:
"A man's or woman's interpretation of his or her sexual functioning as well as the partner's relies on personal beliefs developed in part from society's messages, formal and informal. Unfortunately, today's popular culture has reinforced stereotypes about sexual activity. Many men and women seem to believe the fantasy model of large penises, rock-hard erections and all-night-long intercourse. "
In other words: A little sweat during sex doesn't hurt, but don't sweat the technique!
Keep it mind, it is also important to add that knowing the difference between a quick in and out and getting-it-in-for-the-win is crucial. The actual act of engaging in intercourse is not the same as the extended amount of foreplay that may take place before hand. All the things that heighten your senses as a man and woman (kissing, teasing, touching, rubbing, feeding... each other food *smile*) is not included.
A few years ago, the ladies of The Real talked about their preferences when it came to the bedroom. They proved the stats to be somewhat true after host Jeannie Mai took a roundtable survey and asked her co-hosts how long they thought the "horizontal mambo" (aka sexual intercourse) should last. Their responses were honest, with the average time being anywhere between 7 to 13 minutes for exceptional sex.
For example, Adrienne Bailon was the first to respond and her idea sexy-time was around "20-30 minutes."
"I think more people would have [sex] more frequently if they didn't think... it would be a 3 hour marathon. I hear a lot of women say 'I don't want to have as much of it because I'm tired!' I feel like on weekdays and on work days, a good 20-30 minutes is right on point. That is including kissing and foreplay. A good 20 or 30 minute as a night cap or when you wake up in the morning!"
A very shocked Tamera asked Adrienne and the audience whether or not engaging in sex for an extended period of time brings discomfort or even "hurts," with Adrienne defending her half-hour cap on sex by stating that this includes foreplay and kissing too:
"20 minutes is not something crazy you guys! 30 minutes is not a lot of time; that's as long as a sitcom! I think that people that want to have this hour long situation, there are for sure snack breaks in-between, a little rest time, and some 'Can you grab me a water out the fridge.'"
Tamera Mowry-Housley broke it down best:
"I believe there are two different ways you can have intercourse. For one, I really enjoy making love. Making love requires time. To me, that is like 15 minutes, that is not including foreplay. Then I believe there is another way of having intercourse, which is the "wam, bam, thank you ma'am," which is like 5 minutes-"
Jeannie Mai: "I love that one! The 5 minute one!"
Tamara: "Right? And it's all the same, you just feel it different ways some time."
So in "short" (no pun intended): When it comes to "doing" it, just do you boo-boo!"
And don't confuse the "length" of time per moment with the frequency and amount of times you engage in intercourse and love-making. Know what is best for you and your partner so that you both might enjoy sexing more and stressing less!
What are your thoughts on this, ladies?
A modest goddess who keeps it humble between mumbles. I'm a journalism graduate with a HERstory in digital media, print and radio. Roll the credits: Power 96, VH1, xoNecole, EBONY, SOHH. Deemed "Top 20 Women in Media" by Power 105. Bronx made me, Broward raised me.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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It’s almost that time when the girlies are gonna be hopping in the chair to get the most popular style of the warmer seasons: goddess braids. Goddess braids are not just a hairstyle; they're a statement of elegance, power, and divine beauty. Whether you've recently adorned yourself with these stunning braids or are considering them, one thing remains certain: maintaining them is key to preserving their splendor. In this guide, we'll delve into the art of maintaining goddess braids, ensuring they remain flawless for longer periods.
Let’s start with some pro tips from Breanna Knights, a Brooklyn-based stylist with over a decade of experience in the beauty and fashion industry, specializing in goddess braids. She takes pride in maintaining the beauty and longevity of her clients' goddess braids, focusing on ensuring their scalp and curls remain healthy and hydrated.
Knights’ expertise extends to understanding the tension level, hydration needs, and proper cleansing techniques for goddess braids.
Hydration Is Key:
Moisture is essential for maintaining the integrity of your goddess braids. Use a lightweight leave-in conditioner or moisturizing spray to hydrate your scalp and braids. Pay attention to the ends of the braids, as they tend to be the driest part. Avoid heavy products that can weigh down the braids and cause buildup.
“To maintain neatness and longevity for goddess braid styles, I recommend treating the goddess hair just as you would your natural curls," Knights tells us. "This consists of putting up your hair at night in a bonnet. I also encourage using mousse or a bottle of water mixed with conditioner to make the curls bounce back. These two options depend on if the curls are a synthetic blend, or if it’s 100% human hair."
When it comes to keeping the goddess curls refreshed and hydrated, Knights’ favorite mousse brands include:
Bumble and bumble's Bb Curl Mousse
Bumble and bumble
Bumble and bumble's Bb Curl Mousse is a lightweight mousse that enhances curls with a blend of oils and butters, providing long-lasting volume, and bounce without stiffness.
The Vigorol Mousse Olive Oil
Amazon
The Vigorol Mousse Olive Oil is a fave amongst the girlies. Reviewers say, “Product works well taming frizzy curls as well smoothing natural hair, human hair, and synthetic crochet or individual braided hair. Adds shine without looking or feeling greasy.”
Knights also recommends using Creme of Nature Argan Oil Intensive Conditioning Treatment mixed with water in a spray bottle. “These products are sure to bring curls back to life," she adds.
If you’re looking for particular techniques or tricks to alleviate tension or discomfort often associated with wearing goddess braids, Knights shares that knotless goddess braids are usually done with less tension at the scalp, rather than traditional braids. “I highly suggest gauging tightness throughout your braiding session with your stylist. Should your braids end up too tight, one of my favorite go-to's is the Bumble and bumble’s Hairdresser's Invisible Oil. It provides a cool sensation on the scalp, without over saturating the scalp with oil,” Knights says.
The stylist also suggests a spray bottle with water to relieve tension. Additionally, less styling in the first few days of installing the braids to avoid scalp irritation.
Gentle Cleansing:
One topic that can be confusing when committing to goddess braids is the washing process. Should I wash my braids? How often should I wash them? We had all the questions, and Knights came with the tea. “Everyone’s wash [day] routine is different. To each client’s discernment, by weeks 3-4, if your scalp is itchy or shows signs of dandruff, it would be safe to wash your braids.
"I highly recommend paying more attention to the scalp rather than the braids itself. Keeping the braids up in a bun while saturating the scalp will keep the curls from matting and tangling during the wash process. After washing the scalp I recommend reapplying mousse and tying the hair down with a scarf to help tame any frizz that may occur after washing.”
Protect Your Crown:
One of the biggest keys to the longevity of goddess braids is having a braid bonnet and shower cap to ensure that the braids are dry. Invest in a satin or silk bonnet or scarf to protect your goddess braids while you sleep. Cotton pillowcases can cause friction, leading to frizz and flyaways. Additionally, tying your braids with a silk scarf can help preserve their shape and prevent them from unraveling.
“Combing through the loose curls with your fingers and having a routine to ensure that the hair isn't matting or entangling into one another can help with longevity as well," Knights shares. "The same way you’d care for your curls after a successful wash day would also promote the longevity for any 'goddess' style!”
Courtesy
Regular Touch-ups:
As your natural hair grows, your goddess braids may begin to loosen or develop new growth around the edges. Schedule regular touch-up appointments with your hairstylist to re-braid the edges and ensure a seamless look. Avoid leaving braids in for too long, as this can cause tension on the scalp and lead to breakage.
Minimize Manipulation:
While it's tempting to constantly touch and style your goddess braids, excessive manipulation can lead to frizz and premature loosening. Limit the use of styling tools and refrain from pulling or tugging on the braids. Embrace the natural beauty of your braids and allow them to flourish with minimal interference.
Nourish from Within:
Maintaining healthy hair starts from within. Ensure you're consuming a balanced diet rich in vitamins, minerals, and hydration to promote hair growth and vitality. Incorporate foods such as fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and plenty of water into your daily routine for optimal hair health.
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