Most Women Are Here for 5 Minute Sex
No woman wants a one minute man... but a five minute one? Now we might be talking.
Contrary to our favorite eroticas, it was revealed that most women do not necessarily desire nor require a power-hour of extended intercourse. According to Penn State Eric Corty and Jenay Guardiani, who conducted a survey of 50 sex professionals (including doctors, psychologists and other researches who are in constant contact with sexually active women through their profession), five minutes (the median between 3 to 7 minutes) was the average for "satisfactory" sex.
Cum again?
These were the results in detail:
"Too Short" sex is 1-2 minutes
"Adequate" sex is 3 to 7 minutes
"Desirable" sex is 7-13 minutes
"Too long" sex is anywhere between 13 to 30 minutes.
Researchers also added that the idea that intercourse should be full-course marathon comes from the media's unreal portrayal of it. According to various sexperts, most men take about 5 to 10 minutes to climax while women can take about 10-20 minutes (with foreplay included, less with foreplay excluded). About 75 percent of women also experience "clitoral" climaxes, which can bring them to orgasm quicker. Knowing what works for your body, along with communication with your partner on what satisfies you both is so key:
"A man's or woman's interpretation of his or her sexual functioning as well as the partner's relies on personal beliefs developed in part from society's messages, formal and informal. Unfortunately, today's popular culture has reinforced stereotypes about sexual activity. Many men and women seem to believe the fantasy model of large penises, rock-hard erections and all-night-long intercourse. "
In other words: A little sweat during sex doesn't hurt, but don't sweat the technique!
Keep it mind, it is also important to add that knowing the difference between a quick in and out and getting-it-in-for-the-win is crucial. The actual act of engaging in intercourse is not the same as the extended amount of foreplay that may take place before hand. All the things that heighten your senses as a man and woman (kissing, teasing, touching, rubbing, feeding... each other food *smile*) is not included.
A few years ago, the ladies of The Real talked about their preferences when it came to the bedroom. They proved the stats to be somewhat true after host Jeannie Mai took a roundtable survey and asked her co-hosts how long they thought the "horizontal mambo" (aka sexual intercourse) should last. Their responses were honest, with the average time being anywhere between 7 to 13 minutes for exceptional sex.
For example, Adrienne Bailon was the first to respond and her idea sexy-time was around "20-30 minutes."
"I think more people would have [sex] more frequently if they didn't think... it would be a 3 hour marathon. I hear a lot of women say 'I don't want to have as much of it because I'm tired!' I feel like on weekdays and on work days, a good 20-30 minutes is right on point. That is including kissing and foreplay. A good 20 or 30 minute as a night cap or when you wake up in the morning!"
A very shocked Tamera asked Adrienne and the audience whether or not engaging in sex for an extended period of time brings discomfort or even "hurts," with Adrienne defending her half-hour cap on sex by stating that this includes foreplay and kissing too:
"20 minutes is not something crazy you guys! 30 minutes is not a lot of time; that's as long as a sitcom! I think that people that want to have this hour long situation, there are for sure snack breaks in-between, a little rest time, and some 'Can you grab me a water out the fridge.'"
Tamera Mowry-Housley broke it down best:
"I believe there are two different ways you can have intercourse. For one, I really enjoy making love. Making love requires time. To me, that is like 15 minutes, that is not including foreplay. Then I believe there is another way of having intercourse, which is the "wam, bam, thank you ma'am," which is like 5 minutes-"
Jeannie Mai: "I love that one! The 5 minute one!"
Tamara: "Right? And it's all the same, you just feel it different ways some time."
So in "short" (no pun intended): When it comes to "doing" it, just do you boo-boo!"
And don't confuse the "length" of time per moment with the frequency and amount of times you engage in intercourse and love-making. Know what is best for you and your partner so that you both might enjoy sexing more and stressing less!
What are your thoughts on this, ladies?
A modest goddess who keeps it humble between mumbles. I'm a journalism graduate with a HERstory in digital media, print and radio. Roll the credits: Power 96, VH1, xoNecole, EBONY, SOHH. Deemed "Top 20 Women in Media" by Power 105. Bronx made me, Broward raised me.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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6 Spring Events To Boost Your Professional And Social Networks
When spring arrives, we all want to be outside, looking fabulous, and back to socializing. And now is the perfect time to add a few great events to your calendar to get you through the quarter in order to make new friends, build new partnerships, and talk new opportunities to level up.
Spring is a high season for networking and social events for Black women, with many organizations and event entrepreneurs booking prime locations and offering dynamic experiences that you can maximize in whatever way possible. Write down your goals, and get out there. Start with a few of these events between now and the start of summer:
New Orleans Jazz And Heritage Festival, April 23 - May 3
The New Orleans Jazz And Heritage Festival is a 10-day event held over two weekends, bringing together thousands of musicians, craftspeople, and food lovers to share in common threads of culture in the heart of New Orleans. You'll get to enjoy works by artisans local to Louisiana as well as from across the U.S. and around the world.
Black Food Truck Festival, April 26-28
Hosted in Charleston, S.C., the Black Food Truck Festival includes an opening party, access to more than two dozen food truck vendors, and a time to workout with other attendees. Charleston has long been known as a Southern foodie destination, with global recognition due to James Beard-awarded chefs heading popular restaurants there and a renewed focus on Gullah and Geechee culture and food in the region. And what better conversation ice-breaker than to talk about food with a new acquaintance?
Black Women's Mental Health Conference, May 4
Hosted by New York University, this is a one-day event to tackle issues of mental wellness and health that uniquely affect Black women and girls. The keynote speaker for this year is Kim Young, MSW, LCSW, founder of Dope Black Social Worker® and host of the podcast Revolutionary Hoodrat, and leading licensed professionals in the field will offer their insights and share their experiences. And, of course, no college-led event is without time blocked specifically for networking.
Strength of a Woman Festival, May 11-12
Anything with Mary J. Blige headlining or leading is a win, especially if we're talking about women's empowerment and enjoyment. This event will be held in New York City, and beyond the performances from some of our favorites like Muni Long, Jill Scott, and The Clark Sisters, there will be a Gospel Brunch. And even if you're not able to attend or concerts aren't your thing, just being in the city during that time will mean you're bound to run into plenty of other women to network with at local bars and restaurants nearby.
Carefree Black Girl Cookout, May 4
Held in the Queen City, Charlotte, N.C., this is a day festival amplifying the voices and brands of Black women entrepreneurs, artists, and creatives. There will be vendors, glam and beauty bars, and complimentary meals for the first hour (according to the platform's website). They're hosting another cookout in Philadelphia on May 25.
Black Women Leading Live, May 13-16
Touted as an “intimate retreat + conference,” this Virginia Beach, VA event will be held on a resort and is offering a professional development experience led by Laura Knights, founder of the Black Woman Leading® program and podcast. It’s an ideal fit if you’re a mid-level or senior professional, as the topics and approach are set to cater to those levels of career experience, with coaches and speakers pouring into attendees with a holistic approach.
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