Dash Dolls Khadijah and Malika Haqq Talk Criticism, Success, + Self-Worth
Who wouldn’t love to make money, travel and live an exciting, elite lifestyle as the result of their childhood best friends? Raises hand!Khadijah and Malika Haqq, aka “The Haqq Twins” are the stars of the E! series, DASH Dolls, the fifth spin-off from the Keeping Up With The Kardashians empire.
It’s no secret that the world has a love-hate relationship with the Kardashian-Jenner’s. Say what you want about them, but they’re businesswomen and branding gurus. They serve as executive producers of the series and have always showed their love and appreciation for the bubbly twins. However, many "friends” of celebrities get a bad rep for being “famous by association.”
In an industry, where it can be hard to discern who truly wants to be your friend and who solely wants the perks of fame, wouldn’t you want your “ride-or-dies”/ “A1s since day ones” who were “with you shooting in the gym” to be by your side every step of the way? Or naw? As the best friends of Khloé Kardashian, Malika and Khadijah have been constantly mired with the question, “what do you do?”
Though reality TV may not seem like a “real job” few people are actually brave enough to handle the scrutiny that comes with exposing every aspect of their lives for someone else’s entertainment.
Prior to Keeping Up…, Malika and Khadijah were budding actresses having had memorable roles as Veda and Star in T.I’s film, ATL and several other productions. Soon after, Khadijah married her husband, former New Orleans Saints player Bobby McCray, and the couple had two kids [and one from Bobby’s previous relationship] and the twins' acting careers were placed on the back burner.
Now being at the center of their own series where they wrangle the employees of the DASH boutique in Beverly Hills, Malika and Khadijah are also showcasing very personal aspects of their lives.
In an exclusive interview with xoNecole, Malika and Khadijah address the criticism of their success and their association with the Kardashians. Malika shares the importance of accepting yourself and knowing your worth. While Khadijah gives awesome advice on how to ensure you’re not inaccurately portrayed on reality TV. She also gives insight to how she’s balancing motherhood with the increasing demands of her revived career.
When did you know it was the right time to do the DASH Dolls spinoff and have the focus of the series be about your lives?
Khadijah: [Kim, Khloé and Kourtney] all have very busy schedules, but the DASH boutique is very important to them so they asked Malika and I to be their eyes and ears when they couldn’t be in the store. If something were to go wrong, they wanted to know they had two people they could trust that could take care of it and that’s how it started. It was a show without cameras. They wanted us to be involved with the store and there to wrangle the girls. It was their idea to create the show and that’s why they’re Executive Producers of the series. I don’t think we’d be doing reality if it weren’t for them and the opportunity that they entrusted us with and wanted to extend to us.
Malika: People ask me all the time, ‘What do you do?’ I’ve been on the same show [Keeping Up With The Kardashians] for eight years, that’s what I do! On top of that, I didn’t really want to have an acting career by myself, I was so used to doing it with my sister. I pretty much went from one security blanket to the next. I was comfortable working with her and when I wasn’t doing that anymore, I was comfortable working with my best friend. I also assisted Khloé for a while. I was on the Khloé & Lamar spin off, I was in several episodes of Kourtney & Kim Take Miami. I’ve always been in a reality space. I did a movie called Somebody Help Me 2. That was the only film role I took once I stopped acting with my sister.
Khadijah: But she’s capable of doing it by herself, which is the point…
Malika: To be totally honest, I’m just doing what works for me. Over the years I haven’t been as decisive about choosing what I wanted to do because where I was came so easily to me. I wasn’t forced into being in another environment or to get another reality job. I wasn’t forced to get another acting role. I was literally loved and accepted for a very long time as a character that I’ve been on “Keeping Up…” So I think DASH Dolls is great because now everyone can see that my sister is ready to get back to work so it made perfect sense for she and I to do this together.
In the series, we saw Kim [Kardashian-West] trying to persuade you to embrace your individuality. How have you gone out creating opportunities for yourself separate of your sister?
Malika: I’m still learning how to be by myself. The strongest criticism I continuously receive is, ‘get out from other people’s shadow’ and ‘don’t do everything that someone else is doing.’ Ultimately, I came into this world with someone else, all I know is togetherness.
I’ve been blessed to be able to work with my family and my friends. My effort is very different than most people that come into the world by themselves; I’ve had to learn how to be an individual and I’m still working on it.
I just did an acting job by myself on Family Time (Bounce TV). I’m proud of myself for being able to push myself. My sister came to set with me, but there are certain ways in which I’m not comfortable doing things by myself.
Now clearly, I’ll take my clothes off (laughs) [referring to her nude photo shoot in the premiere episode] but I’m simply not as independent when it comes to approaching new things by myself, but it's something I’ll perfect over time and I’m not being hard on myself about it anymore.
What should people know about the behind the scenes aspects of reality TV?
Khadijah: It’s not as easy as it looks. Your reality is what you work for. I know people always question ‘what are we known for? and ‘what’s your talent?’ At the end of the day, there’s a market for reality TV but that doesn’t mean it’s just given to you freely. It’s still something you have to work for. It’s not like being an actor or singer; there are actually a lot more grueling hours filming a reality show but you only see thirty minutes or an hour from a week of taping.
This is a business and people assume that if you can recreate these situations for yourself via social media, then you can be a reality star and it’s not that simple. We’ve heard, 'it’s about time you all get your own show.' but we weren’t looking for it. I was literally going through the motions in life. I was growing up, becoming a woman, a wife and a mother. Eventually that’s going to happen for Malika and people going to say ‘Where’d she go? What is she doing?’ She’s taking on another role in her life. That’s what happened to us and through our friends we’ve been blessed to have this platform at the perfect time in our lives.
Reality TV and social media ironically creates a false sense of reality and unrealistic professional and professional expectations. For girls that are admiring who you are at age 32, what would you tell your younger self?
Malika: Don’t take yourself so seriously! I changed so much in my 20s and I’m open to changing again. I can’t even tell you that I knew who I was until 28 or 29. Once you realize that it’s most important to be comfortable with the person you are, you can become the woman you want to be. Don’t be as critical on yourself and don’t take peoples opinions so harshly. Also, you don’t have to take everyone home with you. No one makes a difference in whether you eat or sleep but you.
Be nice to yourself. I see younger women be so hard on themselves. I would say to my younger Malika, 'I’m sorry.' They made me do that in therapy. I’ve said sorry to myself so many times and I really meant it because I didn’t have to be so hard on myself but when you think about being in this business as an actress, then I stopped acting and now I’m trying to get back in, it’s a lot.
I get a lot criticism for supposedly being in the shadow of other people, but there’s nothing wrong with not wanting to be in the front. I had to learn and go through my own process to figure out what I was truly comfortable with.
I’ve made some good decisions and some bad decisions but I’m okay with that, you have to be forgiving of yourself. Everyone isn’t going to like you and that’s okay too, all you have to do is like yourself.
Khadijah: Social media is a fad, I don’t necessarily think its going to slow down but since we grew up in an era that wasn’t so driven by peoples criticisms, I still don’t give a sh*t. Maybe it’s because not only have I had to grow up but I had to start living for my three children. I’ve had to make mistakes and mend relationships, but you start to look at what really matters which is your family, your friends and being proud of whatever career path you’re chose. By the time I was 27, I was already married with my first child. You have no idea where your life is going to take you in the next couple of years. Be proud of yourself for wherever you are in this moment. At 24 we were struggling actresses hustling, auditioning, taking slaps in the face [metaphorically], doors opening, doors closing and right back to the same thing. When people ask why don’t we act anymore, well it’s not always that easy. Life happens; it’s all a balancing act, but you have to learn to juggle all of your responsibilities in a way that makes you happy.
DASH DOLLS -- "Dash Store" -- Pictured: (l-r) -- (Photo by: Dale Berman/E! Entertainment)
You both are beautiful brown women! Being associated with a family that places so much emphasis on looks, have you ever had any issues with accepting yourself and having a positive self-image?
Malika: Accepting yourself is something people can see and until you do, it’s not attractive to others.
[Tweet "Really, truly, accepting yourself is the most attractive thing in the world, it’s beautiful. "]
I never had to be taught to love my skin, I just did. I was raised by a strong black woman who raised her children by herself. My mother taught us to be strong, beautiful, confident and to follow our hearts. She always said, “I trust you to make good decisions” and that stuck with me more than anything anyone has ever said to me in my life. You can do anything once you accept yourself. There are women who will tell you, ‘I’m not the most attractive, but I’m the most confident.’ I look at them and I may think I have a better body but I’ll say ‘wow she wears everything so well’ because of her confidence.
Many people who’ve participated in reality TV end up saying they were inaccurately portrayed, how do you stop that from happening?
Khadijah: The camera catches exactly what you do. Malika says this all the time and it’s the best thing ever, ‘You don’t see yourself.’
Sometimes people don’t know who they are without a camera in their face and then they sign up for reality TV and they’re shocked when they discover how they truly interact with others. Watching yourself on TV allows to say, ‘Wow, is this who I am?’
Regardless of editing, the camera can’t catch what you don’t give it. I told the Dash Dolls when they were nervous and intimidated by the cameras, I said ‘listen, if you don’t dance on a table, the camera won’t show you dancing on a table! You give a good smile, it’ll see your good smile.’ So it is what it is.
What have people underestimated about you? What will we learn this that would intrigue the audience to keep watching?
Malika: We’re finally giving people the opportunity to have an opinion about us. We’re exposing our lives and our journeys. I share the lack of relationship that I have with my father and how that’s affected me and my choices when it came to dating and having self-confidence.
To be frank, I’ve never really thought I would have a successful relationship with a man because the first man I ever loved, my father, that relationship didn’t work.
I’ve grown so much in the last year in my confidence when it comes to not having a relationship with someone that is hurtful to me. There’s a lot going on in season one of DASH Dolls. I lived it, now I’m ready to learn even more by watching it back.
There’s this myth that women in entertainment can only be a wife and a mother at the detriment of their career. Khaijah, as you transition back into acting, what do you want other young ladies to know about having balance?
Khaijah: Once you have kids, you have to feed them! And it takes a functioning household to make sure that your children have everything they need and that’s the most important thing to me. It was also very important for me to be home with my kids to experience what it was like to be a mother. But I did start to get the itch of wanting to go to back to work because Malika and I have been acting all our lives. I have two sons and a daughter; I want her to see that she has a working mother. I want Malika and I to be the best first examples of independent working women.
The Mecca Of Fashion: The Top Street Style Moments At Howard Homecoming
Outfits were planned, bags were packed, and cameras were ready to capture Howard University's collegiate spirit during its centennial Homecoming celebration. Not only does it hold the number one ranking as the most elite Historically Black College and University or its top performing academics, diversity of students and alumni, but the HBCU also leaves a legacy of style and grace.
The essence of effortless poise and refinement shines bright through the iconic university colors of indigo blue, red, and white. Every October, Howard University students, alumni, staff, and friends gather on the prestigious campus in Washington, D.C. to take part in time-honored traditions and events, which is Homecoming. This year's theme, “The Meccaverse,” was a week-long celebration of Howard University’s heritage, including the Homecoming football game and Bison Pep Rally, the Fashion Show, Greek Life Step Show, Homecoming Day of Service, Lavender Reception, and the iconic Yard Fest Concert.
As 2024 marked the 100th anniversary of the Howard Bison trek back to The Mecca and after two years of virtual events due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this was to be a celebration of a lifetime. We enlisted HU alumnus Sharmaine Harris, a luxury retail buyer, as she revisited her alma mater as eyes on the yard for fashion-forward outfits mixed with personal style and campus pride for the weeklong celebration.
Before we get to the looks, discover how attending Howard University impacted her career in fashion and her day-to-day style:
Credit: Sharmaine and Friends
xoNecole: Describe your personal style. Did attending Howard have any impact on developing it?
Sharmaine: Howard taught me that there’s no such thing as being TOO dressed. There’s always a reason to “put it on” and look presentable, even if it’s just for a day of classes. Standing out was celebrated and encouraged with my peers embracing the opportunity, giving me the confidence to try new styles and trends.
xoNecole: How did Howard shape your career as a luxury buyer?
Sharmaine: I studied Fashion Merchandising, through which I was fortunate to have professors who were very connected to the industry and able to give first-hand accounts of opportunities and what to expect post-college. I was also able to build a network through my peers and other Howard Alum, which has opened doors to endless possibilities both within fashion as well as daily life.
The same confidence instilled in me through my style has also been rooted deeply within me as I step into any role or project I’m faced with throughout my career.
xoNecole: This year marked Howard’s 100th-anniversary Homecoming celebration. Can you describe what the weekend looked and felt like?
Sharmaine: I’ve gone to many Howard Homecomings since graduating, but this year’s 100th anniversary felt like a huge family reunion filled with nothing but love. It was beautiful to see so many Bison return home looking great and radiating joy. It was beautiful!
xoNecole: What makes Howard fashion different from other HBCUs?
Sharmaine: Being that Howard is The Mecca, we have such a diverse population with each individual having their own spin on fashion. Getting dressed is second nature for us, but the layered confidence is our secret ingredient to make any look come together. Through that comfortability to push barriers, we have a legacy of setting trends, as indicated by the many alumni we have in the fashion and entertainment industry.
Keep scrolling for the top street style moments from The Mecca's Homecoming weekend:
Credit: Lacey Gallagher
Credit: Alan Henderson
Credit: JaLynn Davis
Credit: Dylan Davis
Credit: Caleb Smith
Credit: Kendall W.
Credit: Jordyn Finney
Credit: Vanessa Nneoma
Credit: Dr. Mariah Sankey-Thomas
Credit: Caleb MacBruce
Credit: Tiffany Battle
Credit: Teniola
Credit: Ilahi Creary
Credit: Nicolas Ryan Grant
Credit: Dylan Davis
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image courtesy of Sharmaine Harris
So…I wanna say that it must’ve been when I was either in the seventh or eighth grade that I participated in a series of etiquette classes.
As antiquated as that might sound to some these days and although I don’t remember a ton about them, what I am forever grateful for is learning how to properly set a table and what utensils to use at big formal dinners. When you’re a kid, you think stuff like that is totally unnecessary. Oh, but grow up, move in some circles and you’d be surprised how much random tips will hold you down in a pinch.
Anyway, in my personal opinion, when it comes to sexual activity, there should also be etiquette that should be applied — you know, “rules of conduct” (or engagement) for how we should expect to be treated and how we choose to treat others. Because, even if you don’t hear about sex being presented in the form of needing to have manners, having a certain level of decorum, and/or requiring a mutual level of dignity, that should absolutely be the case.
And just like some of the lifestyle etiquette tips that I learned back in the day have stayed with me all of this time, it’s my hope that if you aren’t applying (or requiring) the following 10 sex etiquette suggestions (all 10 of ‘em too) that you will start…so that they will remain with you as well.
1. Discuss Sex-Related Things That Will Directly Impact Y’all’s Health
GiphyDoes even one day go by when someone on Instagram, X, or TikTok isn’t talking about why someone should or should not know another person’s body count (check out “6 Things About The Whole 'Body Count' Debate That Should Be Discussed”)? Although I have been known to say that the kind of things we’re proud of, we tend to brag about without hesitation, that doesn’t mean that I think people are owed that type of information.
That being said, that doesn’t mean I’m not aware that there is science to back up that the more sex partners men have, the more that they increase their chances for being diagnosed with cancer; that a higher amount of sex partners can impact whether or not you get married (and that it tends to lead to divorce more often as well), and that an uptick in partners can even increase your chance of becoming a substance abuser.
Not to mention the fact that, as Dwayne Wayne once said on A Different World episode (that featured a great performance by Tisha Campbell), “the longer the list, the greater the risk” (of contracting an STI/STD) — however, if we’re looking at this point from nothing more than a sexual one, really what someone deserves to know is if you’ve been tested for STI/STDs within the past 6-12 months and, if not, if you’re willing to get tested prior to having sex with them. Anything else really is privileged information and totally up to the individual to share — both directions too.
2. This Includes Afterplay. Beforehand.
GiphyChile. I can’t tell you how many times someone has told me that they found themselves either embarrassed or flat-out pissed about how a sexual experience went. It wasn’t because of the sex itself; it was more about how things were handled afterward. Now, if you’ve never seen the (wow) 35-year-old film When Harry Met Sally (Billy Crystal, Meg Ryan) before, there’s a scene where Billy Crystal’s character talks about men trying to figure out in their mind how long they should hold a woman after having sex with her.
To me, the modern version of this is after sex, when someone asks, “So, what are you about to do?” because that sounds like code for, “You ain’t got to go home but…” Listen, when two people have real feelings for each other and/or are in a long-term dynamic, this point is — or at least, should be — pretty irrelevant.
However, if you’re in a casual sex dynamic or a situationship, I promise you you're putting yourself in a position to “feel some type of way” if you merely assume that afterplay means cuddling all night long while he thinks it’s more like polite convo for 10 minutes and then bouncing (or vice versa). If you don’t want to be bedside blindsided, discuss beforehand how you each prefer to get down.
3. Ask Before Sexting
GiphyI don’t care if the two of you have never had sex before or if you’ve been doing it for a while at this point, but if sexting has never (pardon the pun) entered the chat, you both really should ask before you start sending NSFW stuff into each other’s devices. Some people don’t like it. Some people prefer to know when stuff like that is coming because they don’t want what is being said or shown to be exposed to those around them.
Some people prefer not to “shift gears” (as far as their energy field is concerned) when it comes to being in one mindset and all of a sudden receiving sex-related content that they weren’t prepared for. Believe it or not, there is data to support that the art of sexting can improve coitus overall. However, the same research says that it needs to transpire under the umbrella of mutual respect and clear communication. I agree 1000 percent.
4. No Means No. This Applies to Us Too, Ladies.
GiphyMedia culture can be so…irresponsible, sometimes. Since we’re talking about sex, specifically, today, take when it comes to men and sex. Contrary to popular belief, no, that is not all that they think about and no, they aren’t always in the mood — for a myriad of reasons. And that’s why, I think it also should go on record that just like it’s wrong for a man to try and push a woman past her “no,” women shouldn’t do it either.
It truly isn’t said enough that you shouldn’t simply call it seduction if a guy doesn’t want to and you keep trying to get him to anyway while defining it as coercion when the shoe is on the other foot. The saying “no means no” shouldn’t have a gender bias on it. Everyone should have their boundaries respected — at all times too. Full stop.
5. A Clean and Comfortable Scene
GiphyFresh bedding. A clean bathroom. A washcloth and towel for your partner. Flip-flops (to walk around and/or take a shower in). Lubricant. Bottled water. These are the kinds of things that immediately come to mind when I think of what should automatically come with someone spending intimate time in your home. It’s also what you should be fine with requiring should you choose to have sex at someone else’s house too.
Because even if there aren’t things like scented soy candles and a ton of ambiance, you and your partner at least need to feel like you both are in a space that is clean. This should be a hands-down non-negotiable, by the way.
6. Turn ALL Devices Off
GiphyI don’t know if this means that the sex is/was really wack or you’re just a phone addict in denial but if you are “one out of every five individuals” who checks their phone during sex, I’ve got a bevy of questions for you. SMDH. For this one, in general, though, I don’t have a lot more to say other than, I don’t know how anyone could think that checking their notifications during sex — any kind of sex — isn’t rude as hell and definitely a reason for someone to hard pass on wanting to “engage” with them ever again.
So yeah, for this one, let’s go with an automatic “all devices off” rule. Since most people only want sex to last somewhere between 7-13 minutes anyway (is that per round…or???), I’m pretty sure that whatever IG Live that you’ve been waiting on can wait. Goodness.
7. Have Your Own Stash of Condoms on Deck
GiphyAssuming that the guy should always bring the condoms is about as sexually irresponsible as a guy thinking that he doesn’t need them because the woman he’s about to have sex with should be on birth control. My point here is that you really need to have your own condom collection. One, so that you’re always prepared. Two, so that you can select the condoms that you prefer (most guys are totally fine with that). Three, no matter what you might think that it implies, mature folks get that it means you are serious about protecting your health and well-being.
And what if discretion is what you’re the most concerned about? No worries, there are all kinds of condom carriers out here that basically look like tiny wallets (for example, here).
8. Keep Cleansing Cloths Around
GiphyHygiene is important, is it not? Although going into graphic detail about it may be something that most people would want to avoid, sometimes sexual activity happens spontaneously with no bathroom close by. And listen, even if the movies act like (for instance) oral sex after getting all sweaty from dancing all night in the club is hot, my mind automatically goes to it being kinda gross. So, at least keep some rinse-free cleansing cloths on deck if you don’t want to wait until you can hop into a shower. A pack in your purse or glove compartment can go a really long way. Straight up.
9. Don’t Be a Show-Off
GiphyOne guy who I had sex with back when I was in college, I was so excited about — initially. At the time, he was fine, and then some mo’ fine. To be honest, although we were very cool and spent a couple of years on campus together before I — eh hem — indulged, the main reason why I wanted to sleep with him is because I thought that his looks were a preview of his performance level. Boy was I wrong. Any time I refer to our, umm, time together, I call it “Cirque du Soleil sex” and even that is being generous because that man was trying to put me into every twist and turn that he could in under 20 minutes.
It’s like he was trying to prove that he could hold it down…and all that ended up doing was backfiring — supremely so. Moral to the story here: sex should be about two people enjoying each other, not low-key trying to compete or “outdo” one another. Anyone who says otherwise is truly bringing poor form to the bedroom, whether they realize it or not.
10. Watch Your Words. Afterwards.
GiphyOn the heels of what I just said, if sex with your partner was pretty much the equivalent of watching paint dry, it’s still important to be thoughtful about what you say. Lack of empathy, being inconsiderate of their feelings, talking to them in a way that would damn near cause you to blow a gasket (or melt into the floor) if they did the same thing to you — all of this files under hella rude behavior.
And while we’re here, please watch your body language — you know, heavy sighs, eye-rolling, stonewalling…if you don’t want to have sex with them again, that is totally your right; that doesn’t mean that you have to humiliate them in the present, though. You know, A LOT of people carry their ego in the bedroom — male and female.
That’s why I write articles like “So, 10 Women Sat Down And Told Me Why They Fake Orgasms...More Times Than Not” and “Men Fake Orgasms (And 14 Other Semi-Random Things About Them In Bed).” So, whatever transpires, try to be kind and compassionate. Karma shows up, even in the bedroom. Make sure it’s proud of how you handled yourself. One way or another, you’ll be glad that you did.
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Sex etiquette. As you can see, it’s a very real and necessary thing. I’m curious, though. When you get a chance, hop in the comments to share some other “copulation manners” that you think are important, along with how you handle matters when they are missing or go awry. Hey, when it comes to having better sexual experiences, we’re all in this together.
Kinda. Sort of. You know what I mean. LOL.
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Featured image by Drazen Zigic/Getty Images