The Evolution Of Draya Michele From Fine Ass Girl To Fearless Ass Woman

Draya Michele has learned a lot of life lessons over the past few years.
Be careful whom you allow into your circle, because “friends” turn into the foes as quick as a camera flash. Be above the influence, because in a world of photoshopped and carefully cropped images, social media has become a way of controlling the masses, adding unnecessary pressure “to be perfect and to be cool and to be socially accepted,” as Draya would say. And probably one of the biggest lessons of all—and one that Draya has implemented since she first stepped foot in LA—stay focused on your business.
Whether you hate her or love her, one thing that you can’t deny is that Draya Michele is one boss chick. Maybe even somewhat of an opportunist, if you will, because stepping in front of the cameras wasn’t just a selfish attempt to be seen, it was strategic. It was what she felt she had to do in order to build the foundation of her swimsuit line Mint Swim. In order to make her dream happen she turned to the business of reality TV.
“Starting a swimsuit company is something that I've always wanted to do,” says Draya from her Los Angeles home. “I was blocked off from creativity and resources because I was in Pennsylvania, so when I got the call that I was able to do Basketball Wives and move to California, I said oh I have to do this, because this is going to be my chance to get my swimsuit company going.”
Over the last four years, we’ve watched Draya go from a naïve girl from Reading, Pennsylvania to a bold and feisty female who unapologetically speaks her mind—sometimes saying questionable things at the wrong time. She tells me that before the show she was just a girl who was happy to have a way out of Pennsylvania, even if it meant sacrificing her image for fame and a few hundred thousand dollars.
“I was so appreciative of Basketball Wives, and I still am. But I was very eager to get away, so I looked at it like, if this is what I've got to do to move to L.A.—if I have to argue with these girls for four or five months out of the year—then fine; then I can relax the other seven months and not think about them at all,” she says.
In between catfights and petty arguments, she kept her sanity by shifting the focus to growing a side business that would help pad her bank account long after the reality show checks stopped rolling in. Just a few years prior, the now 30-year-old birthed the idea for Mint Swim out of her apartment, turning her den into a makeshift office with custom shelving to house her growing collection of sexy and chic designs that tease the eye and tempt the pocketbook. The swimsuit line has been just as much of a staple in her life as the show that made her famous. And in case you were wondering, Draya has her hands in every aspect of the business from designing to pitching, which she runs with the help of only one other full-time employee—no blueprint, no business plan, just creativity and a will to win.
Perhaps having a more concrete plan would’ve saved her time and money from costly mistakes. She admits to wasting a lot of money on unnecessary things but credits her experiences to help her learn the tricks of the trade, such as shopping around to get the most bang for her buck. To a business owner, lower costs mean higher profit margins.
“It’s best to shop around and get a good price because there are a lot of people out there that'll take advantage of you."
"They'll know that you're new in the industry and they'll look at you as you're green and they'll overprice you. So you have to just do research and check prices between different companies and make people compete, you know? That way you save money and you get the best deal.”
[Tweet "You get ripped off a lot by trying to do things fast."]
Each year the company has continued to double in size, to the point where it has exceeded the money she makes from she show that made her famous, and it has become her primary source of income. She no longer has to rely on the checks that girl fights and club appearances has afforded her, she’s now her own boss and can make her own rules.
“Once my swimsuit company began to grow and develop and it became the number one income source for me, and I saw how much more money I was making from swimsuits than reality TV, I decided that I'm done arguing for four months out of the year. I just didn't want to do it anymore.”
Recently, she announced her resignation from Basketball Wives. In an interview with Juicy Magazine, she says that she “mentally checked out of it” and that she lost the joy of going to work. It’s possible, too, that the show wasn’t just killing her vibe, but killing her image as well. I tell her that being in that kind of space [with reality TV] seems to bring out the worst in people, and that I felt like she was just ready to go.
“I just wanted to focus on my company and make sure that I never ever put myself in a situation that someone was able to bash my company on TV or just put me in a space where I'm not taken serious as a designer because this [fashion] world's really serious to me."
"Reality TV will make you say anything, whether it's hurtful, or whether it's going to take money out of your pocket. I just didn't want to take that risk anymore."
Every time I put myself in front of the camera it was another opportunity for someone to say anything they wanted about me. It didn't have to be true, it could just be hurtful and we had two million viewers, it's like, some of those two million are going to believe whatever was said about me.”
There’s no doubt that being a reality star equipped Draya with the tough skin that was necessary to start her own clothing line. The same confidence that she had to develop whenever a new episode aired exposing her to a flood of negative comments is the same confidence that was needed when she started posting her designs on social media.
In one interview she admits to not posting pictures of her models because she didn’t want to expose them to the hatred and backlash from her followers, but has since has changed her tune by launching Mint More. The new line of swimwear is for those full-figured beauties who are often neglected or left with less-desirable options in the swimsuit market. She found a gem in one of her models, Nancy, who she says she selected due to her confidence.
“Just being a plus-size model itself is hard because a lot of people are too ignorant and don't understand it,” she says. “[Nancy] was just everything I needed her to be, and the reaction was great. I thought people were going to talk about her size and her curves, but there were so many people that were happy and they were saying yes, Draya, finally. This is real, real women are shaped like this, this is amazing, what you're doing.”
Building Mint Swim has also given the designer the courage to launch other clothing lines, including Fine Ass Girls, which caters to a younger demographic, and also a menswear line, which she says is moving slower than anticipated.
Besides being her own boss, behind closed doors she’s also a devoted mother and wife-to-be. Yet, despite her obvious growth, Draya is still shedding the images of her past. Reality TV fights, rumors about her parenting, and who she has or hasn't dated have all overshadowed the woman that she’s attempted to portray to the public—a woman who’s soft and delicate, but still alludes strength and resilience.
Having her life play out in front of critical eyes hasn’t made it any easier to maintain a healthy relationship for the 30-year-old either. Earlier this year, we witnessed the falling out between her and on-again, off-again fiancé Orlando Scandwick, cornerback for the Dallas Cowboys before the couple reconciled and welcomed a baby boy. When I ask about this, she suggests that being well known made it difficult to keep her love affair going strong.
“We're learning to just not put everything on social media,” Draya says. “But the way that social media works, it's so pressuring to have your love life out there because you have this fear that if you don't post about it, it's not happening. I finally feel like I'm at the point where I don't have to post every single thing.”
So social media caused issues in your relationship in some way?
“I wouldn't blame it on social media, I would just blame it on the influence it has over actual people. We've got to learn to not let social media control us. People are obsessed with the way other people look on social media. At the end of the day, it's social media; you can trick yourself to look however you'd like.”
[Tweet "We've got to learn to not let social media control us."]
Draya is at a point where she’s less concerned about what people think, and more focused on managing her household and making her family a priority. Running to her son’s soccer games, her fiancé’s football games, and being her own boss doesn’t come without its struggles, but she says time management allows her to make sure that everyone in the house gets the attention that they need.
I ask her what being a woman and a mother mean to her.
“I think that we're here to uplift our men and raise our children. And being a mom means believing, leading by example, and trying to set a blueprint and create a legacy for what you created.”
It’s clear that Draya is starting to grow into her own. Is she perfect? Not at all. But she’s definitely not the same Draya that left Pennsylvania years ago. What we’re witnessing now is the evolution of a fine ass girl to a fearless ass woman—one who’s sexy and confident, and knows how to handle her own on and off the camera.
This Is How To Keep 'Holiday Season Stress' From Infecting Your Relationship
Hmph. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like there is something really weird happening in the fall season air (because winter doesn’t officially begin until December 21) that cuddle season is in full swing while break-up season is as well. In fact, did you know that break-ups are so popular during the holiday season that December 11 is deemed Break-Up Day?
The reasons why relationships shift around this time vary; however, I did both roll my eyes and chuckle when I read that a very popular one is because it’s an easy way to get out of getting one’s significant other a Christmas present. SMDH.
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Shutterstock
It’s probably been over the past 2-3 years that I’ve become hyper-focused when it comes to applying certain chemical exfoliants known as acids to my skin. Personally, I’ve come to really appreciate ones like mandelic acid and hyaluronic acid because they have a way of softening my skin, brightening it up and really evening out my complexion overall.
In fact, on my skin, they have been so effective that they have caused me to wonder what would happen if I applied some of them to my hair too — and boy, was it an experiment that paid off big time!
If, while on your continual journey to get the best out of your own tresses, you’d like to learn how to get them healthier than it’s ever been, I’ve got seven acids that are typically known for skin use that can be just as beneficial to your hair as well.
1. Salicylic Acid
When it comes to your skin, salicylic acid is beta-hydroxy acid that is great for your skin if you’re looking for something that will exfoliate it, clear out your pores and dissolve dead skin cells. In fact, this is why it’s an acid that is quite popular when it comes to treating acne.
Your hair will enjoy salicylic acid because, if you’re looking to remove product build-up, you want to soothe an itchy or irritated scalp or you’ve got some dandruff flakes that are totally driving you up the wall, salicylic acid has the ability to treat all of this. Either purchasing a shampoo that contains this ingredient or adding it to your favorite scalp scrub is probably the most effective way to get the most out of it.
Just make sure that if your scalp is sensitive or dry that you approach with caution. In these instances, it could end up irritating your scalp more than helping it out, so use a very little bit in the beginning to make sure that it vibes with you.
2. Lactic Acid
Lactic acid is an alpha hydroxy acid that can help to even out your skin tone as well as slow down the signs of aging. The properties in it help to do this by reducing hyperpigmentation and boosting collagen production in your skin as well as keeping it hydrated.
Why is it great for your locks? For one thing, lactic acid is considered to be a humectant. This means that it pulls water from the air so that your hair is able to remain moisturized.
Another thing that makes it a winner is the fact that lactic acid breaks down dead skin cells on your scalp (so that your hair follicles are able to flourish), it can help to soften and detangle your hair (making it a helpful addition on your wash days) and it also helps to protect your tresses from heat styling tools and UV damage. Applying a hair rinse that’s made up of part lactic acid and part water can work wonderfully (so long as you apply it once a month, tops; more than that might be too “intense” for your hair strands).
3. Glycolic Acid
Glycolic acid is a water-soluble alpha hydroxy acid that is actually made from sugar. Your skin will adore it because it smooths the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, improves the texture of your skin, gently exfoliates, clears your pores and brightens up your complexion overall.
The reasons why you should consider this acid for your hair is because it helps to keep your scalp youthful (and yes, there is such a thing; check out “Your Scalp Ages Six Times Faster Than Your Face. Why It Matters.”), removes excess sebum (that could be clogging up your hair follicles) and it helps to keep your hair moisturized. Your best bet here is to make it a part of your pre-shampooing ritual.
4. Succinic Acid
Succinic acid is an acid that is made from sugar cane and contains antimicrobial and anti-inflammatory properties. Although it doesn’t exactly exfoliate (like many of these other acids do), it can still be beneficial to your skin when it comes to reducing the kind of irritation that is associated with eczema, decreasing the bacteria that leads to breakouts and keeping your skin pretty hydrated.
As far as your hair goes, this is an acid that is worth trying out because it helps to balance the sebum that is on your scalp, remove dead skin and product build-up that can irritate your scalp and clog your hair follicles and, succinic acid is also beneficial when it comes to reducing dandruff and helping to prevent hair loss. Most people tend to apply this as a serum.
5. Hyaluronic Acid
I’ve officially sung the praises of hyaluronic acid on this platform before. One example is via the article, “Why Your Skin, Hair, And Nails Need Hyaluronic Acid Like...Yesterday.” On the skin tip, hyaluronic acid is great because it deeply hydrates your skin, contains anti-aging properties and can even bring relief to vaginal (including vulvar) dryness.
Your hair will adore this particular acid because it aids moisture to it (including your hair follicles), will help to improve your hair’s texture and it also soothes scalp dryness, nurtures the cuticles of your tresses and decreases frizz. Using a serum rich in this acid as a pre-poo or as a leave-in conditioner is recommended.
6. Azelaic Acid
If you’ve never heard of azelaic acid before, this is your lucky day. It’s a dicarboxylic acid that, when it comes to skincare (and hair care) products, is usually synthetic. Anyway, if you are looking for a way to reduce inflammation, even skin tone after a breakout or if you want to use an exfoliant that will improve the texture of your skin overtime, you might want to give this acid a shot.
This one makes the list as far as your hair is concerned because, if achieving more inches is your current focus, azelaic acid might come in handy. That’s because it is able to strengthen your hair, thicken your strands and also stimulate hair growth from within your hair follicles.
7. Glutamic Acid
Glutamic acid is actually a type of amino acid. Skin-wise, it’s great for deeply hydrating your skin as well as protecting it from pollutants and damaging UV rays. Also, if you’re looking for an acid that treats skin dryness or “tightness,” this could be the answer to your prayers.
Since glutamic acid is also considered to be a humectant, it’s another acid that can moisturize your hair. As a result, it can decrease breakage while helping your hair to feel smooth and look shiny.
BONUS: Amino Acids
Speaking of amino acids and hair, please try to keep some amino acids in your diet at all times. The reason why is because, since your hair is made up of mostly protein (keratin, to be exact), amino acids are pretty darn effective when it comes to helping you to maintain the overall health and well-being of your hair.
Ones to prioritize include proline (it boosts collagen so that your hair strands can maintain flexibility); arginine (it increases blood flow to your hair follicles so that they can receive the nutrients that they need); cysteine (it helps to keep your hair follicles healthy); alanine (it helps your system to produce more collagen), and isoleucine (it strengthens the tissues that help to make up your hair strands). All of these are available in supplement form or you can use Google to see which foods contain them.
___
Although it might initially seem odd to apply acid to your hair, as you can see, certain ones will work miracles for it. So, test them out to see which one tickles your fancy.
Hell, since they work for your skin as well — it’s a two-for-one deal that is worth every penny!
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Shutterstock













