Trying to find a job can be very stressful, especially if you don't have a lot of experience. Even if you do have viable experience, you are competing with hundreds (possibly thousands) of other applicants that may have more experience or better connections. This is why we count on our resume to get us in the door for getting the job. Your resume is your first impression and we can all agree that first impressions are everything. Before you are even able to open your mouth and communicate why the company should hire you, you have to win the company over with your resume. Without being present, your resume should be able to confidently speak for you and should be an example of your personal brand. It should highlight some of the most impressive details of you, your work experience, and skill set.
We all know the crucial role that a resume plays when job hunting so this is perhaps the reason why many people resort to lying on their resume. By stretching the truth, job seekers believe that they can become more attractive to hiring managers. In a recent survey on CareerBuilder, it showed that more than half (56%) of over 2,000 hiring managers have caught a lie on a resume. That is a huge number but it's the reality.
Some of the most common lies found on resumes are:
- Job title name
- Fluency level in foreign languages
- Computer program & software capability
- Length of work experience
- Type of duties in former position
- Type of awards given
- Volunteer experience
- Promotions received
Lying or exaggerating your experience on a resume is never a smart thing to do. If you are not proficient in Excel or don't know how to use Adobe, your boss will find out the truth sooner or later so don't lie. I understand how hard it can be to find a job, but that doesn't mean that you should lie on your resume. Trust me, the right job will come at the right time. Just be patient and never give up. Before you form your fingers to tell a lie that you can't live up to, follow my steps below to turn your lies into your truths.
1.Be the person you desire to be
Before lying about a skill enroll in a free online course or find a course in your community and actually learn that skill. Nowadays, you can learn literally everything on the internet. My favorite source for learning new skills is Udemy and YouTube. If you are more of a hands on learner, do a quick Google search for classes in your local community. You can also try looking on Groupon for courses as well.
2. Be strategic with your employment gap
If you took some time off of work or simply didn't work for a couple of months because you couldn't find a job, don't resort to exaggerating your employment tenure with a company. Analyze that gap in employment and consider any volunteer or personal projects that you have done. Your life outside of a company can still speak volumes on behalf of you and your work ethic. If you were volunteering during your employment gap, add that to the “volunteer" section of your resume. If you were engaged with your own personal projects (maybe you were starting and growing your blog or side hustle) add that on your resume under the “projects" section. Remember, don't forget to quantify all experience!
3. Don't be ashamed of your job title
One of the biggest resume lies that I see lying about your job title. For example, if you are an Administrative Assistant but desire a job in HR, you may change your job title to HR Manager or HR Coordinator. After all, you have done some HR duties as an Administrative Assistant, so what's the big deal with spicing up your job title?
Changing your job title is never the way to go. Instead of changing your job title, include key words in your job experience section and claim what you did and what you know. Even if those job duties are not apart of your formal job description, you can definitely discuss it in your resume because you actually did it. If you are applying to a job that has a different title than you have now and you are scared this may cost you the job, don't worry. As long as you use keyword friendly terms when describing your experience, recruiters and applicant tracking systems will be able to identify you and your skills.
4. Seek for work that will make you marketable
Another common resume lie is lying about the type of work you do. If you are hesitant about the work experience that you have, don't lie about it because the moment you are hired, it will be obvious that you don't have experience like you said you do. And then you know what'll happen next, you'll be back out on the Indeed site, job hunting again. While you are at your current job, make the most out of it, connect with as many people as you can, and try to learn as much as you can. If you work in HR but want to find a job in marketing at a different company, try to learn marketing while you are currently employed. Ask to shadow someone in marketing, and then offer your assistance to partner with them on projects. By doing this, you are gaining the experience you thought about lying about.
5. Be selfless
Having a giving heart is an amazing quality to have, which is why employers love hiring people that have a knack for helping others. Before lying that you have volunteered for all types of causes and organizations, you should actually volunteer. I remember when I was in undergrad I lied about volunteering for a local organization. In my interview, the person I was interviewing with was that organization's volunteer chairperson. When she asked me about my involvement, it was so obvious that I had never took one minute out of my life to volunteer with them. And if you are wondering, I didn't get that job. Employers don't like liars so don't be like the old me and lie about something as simple as volunteer work.
Do you have any horrific resume lies that you have succumbed to? Don't be shy, let us know!
For more amazing advice on career advancement, visit our xoBusiness section!
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That’s why, when one couple came to me and asked what was something that they could do to light the fire (pun intended) in their own bedroom, the first thing that I asked was if they had ever tried wax play before. You should’ve seen the expression on their faces. LOL.
When it comes to things like that, I think that it’s still taboo for some, simply because they’ve only seen it on a movie screen or heard about it in true extreme sexual contexts — and so, they don’t think that it’s something that is “for them” when, the reality is, with the right tips in tow, wax play can be for pretty much anyone…and everyone.
So today, let’s add something new to some of y’all’s boudoir list of activities. Here are 10 things that will, hopefully, help you to see the flames of wax play (I’ve got puns all over the place today) in a whole new light.
1. Anticipation Does Wonders for Sexual Arousal
GiphyI once read an article by a mental health expert who said that anticipation is probably the greatest aphrodisiac of all. It builds excitement. It fuels curiosity. At the end of the day, it’s like a mental form of edging because you’re getting close to something that you look forward to — although you’re not quite there yet. Listen, he’s not off base because even science says that anticipation can give you a dopamine hit that can ultimately improve your sexual experiences.
Keeping this point in mind, how can watching hot wax drip from a candle and head toward your body not fuel some level of anticipation? Especially if it’s your first few times trying it? A woman by the name of Ana Monnar once said, “Anticipation is sometimes more exciting than actual events.” Just something to consider, when it comes to entertaining bringing wax play into your world, my dear.
2. Wax Play Is Peak-Level Foreplay
GiphyWe all know what foreplay is, right? Just to be sure that we’re all on the same page, a very basic definition is it’s something that typically happens right before sex in order to arouse the people who are about to have it. And since foreplay is pretty much the prelude to copulation, it’s important that “the appetizer” is damn near as good as the “main course.” Wax play can help to ensure that because, aside from what I just said about anticipation, it can also help you and your partner tap into your more sensual and seductive sides. It’s hot. It requires being mindful. And since so much give and take is involved, it requires both people to be very into the moment. Lawd. Wax play is sexy to even just think about!
3. Temperature Pleasure Is Lots of Fun
GiphyOkay, say that you’ve never played with wax (in this way) before. Have you ever incorporated ice cubes? I ain’t gonna let y’all get ALL up in my business, so…let me just say (for now) that some ice during oral sex ain’t neva hurt nobody…quite the contrary! There’s something about the unexpected cool that mixes around with the warmth of a mouth that is truly unmatched. Along these same lines, wax play brings in the heat and, what makes temperature pleasure/play so awesome is, that it uses the sensations of different temperatures to bring out different forms of stimulation.
Another thing that’s worth noting about temperature pleasure is if you’re someone who considers yourself to be on the sexually conservative side yet you do like this type of activity, whether you realize it or not, you’re low-key participating in a form of kink (yep!). This brings me to my next point.
4. Wax Play Is an Introduction to Kink
GiphyIt’s kind of interesting how some people clam up at the thought of a (sexual) kink when the reality is, at the end of the day, it’s about having a certain type of sexual experience (as opposed to a fetish that focuses on objects or body parts; like a foot fetish, for example). So, if it’s that simple, why does it intimidate a lot of folks? Well, kinks tend to delve into people’s fantasies or unconventional ways of thinking (like BDSM or voyeurism).
At the same time, the cool thing about kinks is you control how deep you want to go. Just know that if you do participate in wax play, there’s no point in turning up your nose to the whole kink thing; wax play technically qualifies.
5. Soy Does One Thing. Paraffin Does Another.
GiphyOkay, so let’s spend a couple of moments talking about the things that you need to get the most out of your wax play experience. First, please don’t be out here imitating movies. While they will have you believing that you should pull a taper candle from your dining room table and go ham with it, it’s best to go with massage candles; they are specifically designed for wax play and body massages (The Knot has a recommendation list here and Women’s Health has a list of their own here).
When it comes to candles, in general, I’m always a fan of soy because they burn cleaner and last longer. However, when it comes to wax play, two other reasons why soy is best is it’s natural and “burns lower;” this simply means that once the wax hits your body, it won’t be as hot as, say, paraffin wax will (because it has a higher burning point).
What all of this means is if you want a more comfortable experience, go with a soy (or even a shea butter or beeswax) candle. If you want to play with the big (wax play) kids, try paraffin.
Oh, and if you’re wondering if you can never use “regular” candles — I mean, it’s your body. All I’m saying is some candles are designed for wax play; birthday candles? They are not. Feel me?
6. Massage Candles Feel Incredible on Your Muscles and Joints
GiphySo, here’s the thing about massage candles: If you’ve ever had a professional massage before, your massage therapist may have used them. And if you’ve gotten a high-end mani/pedi, some paraffin wax may have come into play (no pun intended). That’s because the wax from both types of candles has health benefits that include relaxing muscles, improving joint mobility, and increasing blood flow throughout the body. And when you factor in the fact that the better you physically feel before sex, the better sex will be during it — isn’t that just one more plus for and perk of wax play? I definitely think so.
7. The Aromatherapy Is Incomparable
GiphySomething else that’s awesome about most massage candles is they have a wonderfully alluring scent to them, by design. Yes, that matters too because there is plenty of data out here to support the fact that aromatherapy does everything from reduce stress and relieve bodily discomfort to treat headaches and fight off infections (word on the street is that it may even help with menstrual cramps and menopause).
As far as your sex life goes, aromatherapy is supreme because certain essential oils double up as aphrodisiacs. Lavender, neroli, and rose are proven to improve your sexual function. Geranium reduces anxiety. And listen, if climaxing is your ultimate goal, check out “Ultimate Climax Hack? 10 Scents That Make It So Much Easier To Orgasm” and then look for massage oils that smell like, say, vanilla, saffron or jasmine. Bottom line, a good massage candle that smells amazing is going to be worth every cent that you spent to purchase it.
8. You Will Learn Communication (and Dirty Talk) on a Whole ‘Nother Level
GiphyOne of the reasons why I once penned, “Are You Ready To Apply Your Love Language To Your Sex Life?” for the platform is because, if there’s one thing that I think is so awesome about sex, is it finds a way to incorporate all five of your senses (sight, touch, taste, sound and hearing) as well as your top love languages (words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, physical touch and gifts — if you’re open to it).
And when it comes to hearing (and words of affirmation), this is another area where wax play can be a winner because, as you’re learning what works for your partner and they learn what works for you, words have to be exchanged… perhaps even dirty ones.
And why is dirty talk so damn effective? According to scientific research, it has the ability to activate your entire brain (the biggest sex organ that you have) and when this is going on while you’re being physically stimulated — chile, the sky truly is the limit!
9. Wax Play Is Completely Customizable
GiphyYou know back when I was talking about soy candles vs. paraffin ones? Something that I didn’t mention, by design at the time, is that, although I will forever be Team Massage Candles when it comes to this particular topic, there are some known as wax play candles too. What’s the difference? Wax play candles tend to remain pretty hard (after being lit up) while massage candles are designed to melt into a liquid that you can massage on your partner’s body.
Why am I bringing this all up now? Well, it’s to serve as a reminder that wax play can be “dialed up” or “turned down” based on what you want to do. If you just want to put a twist on a massage, you can do that. If you’d like to test your partner’s tolerance level by applying more heat for longer, do that.
Just make sure that you use the kind of wax that doesn’t fully melt on shaved areas of the body (pretty sure why is self-explanatory), that you moisturize your skin beforehand (it’s easier to remove the wax…or whatever is leftover) that way and that you pour around 15-20 inches away from your partner’s body; that gives it time to cool somewhat on the way down. Oh, and if you don’t want to jack up your sheets, you might want to lay down a protective drop cloth (like this one here).
10. It Sure As Hell Ain’t Boring
Season 1 Friends GIF - Find & Share on GIPHYGiphyLast point — and it brings all of this full circle. Now that you’ve read all of the ways that wax play can benefit your sex life, how in the world could you associate it with “boring” on any level? Anything that can get you hype, cultivate eagerness, and enhance what you’ve already got going on…that is worth putting on your sex bucket list and trying at least one time, wouldn’t you say? And why can’t that time be…TONIGHT? Shoot your man a pick of a massage candle with a heart and watch him beat you home.
Then report back (with edits…LOL).
Something tells me that you’ll become a wax play fan — SOON.
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