Keep Your Real Hair Healthy By Following These 10 Weave Commandments
It all started my senior year of high school when I got the prom weave from hell. For prom the look that I was going for a Kardashian-esque middle part with my hair tousled in soft waves to frame my face.
What I ended up with though was much hair loss, a scabbed up bloody scalp and many sleepless nights from the throbbing pain of the tight sew-in weave. The damage of that one sew-in lingered behind for years to come. From the day after I took down that horrendous weave, I've been very skeptical of going to salons to get sew-in's and go to great lengths to make sure that my hair is protected under. That was the plan rather.
Rule #1: When you're a black woman in college, find the girl in your dorm that knows how to do sew-ins for the low.
Lucky enough for me, the girl in the dorm that could hook up a sew-in became on of my closet friends; to this day she is one of the only people that I allow to touch my hair because she styles my hair while keeping it's health in mind. But finding someone who cared enough to care for my hair was not enough when I wasn't doing my part. I would get a sew-in and flat iron my leave out like crazy and never even bother to treat my natural hair under. My hair had the last laugh my sophomore year when it decided to matte up and break smooth off on the line of demarcation (the line that marks natural hair texture and relaxed hair texture). My transitioning hair had had enough of me treating it like a step child. From there, unlike the first time, I learned my lesson.
Weaves can go really wrong or really right. While it makes a really good protective style for our natural hair, many women (including myself) aren't able to benefit from this protective style due to our bad preparation, maintenance and take down of the weave. I will break down in a series of "commandments" what us ladies should be doing to get the maximum amount of protection from our weaves. No more weave horror stories.
Preparation
Thou shall wash and deep condition hair
Before the installation of any sew-in weave washing and conditioning is a must. A weave should never be done on dirty hair/scalp period! Weeks leading up to a sew-in you should be on your best behavior when it comes to your hair regimen; baby it so the sew-in puts less stress on your hair. Deep conditioning gives your hair the extra TLC that it needs
Thou shall trim thy ends (if needed)
I too am guilty of skipping out on trims every now and again for the sake of hanging on to some extra length. When your about to put your hair in a sew-in is not the time for that. You don't want you ends to be raggedy and splitting under a weave because once it's sewn up there isn't much for you to do at that point.
Thou shall moisturize hair and oil scalp as needed
Take advantage of the fact that your hair is free of any weave or braids and give it its last boost of TLC before you have to do it between the tracks.
Thou shall make sure corn rows aren't too small or too large.
Some women opt for smaller braids because they “last longer" but they also can put a lot of unnecessary stress on the hair. Large braids on the other hand may not dry as well (when your washing your hair in a sew-in) which can cause mold. Yuck.
Maintenance
Thou shall protect thy hairline
If you choose to braid your edges into the weave (refrain if you can) make sure you are babying it. Massaging castor oil etc. around the hairline every now and again to can lessen the damage and stress done to your edges while it is in a weave
Thou shall keeping moisturizing and seal like there us no tomorrow
As per usual you hair needs love. Listen to your hair and moisture and seal with a natural oil as you see fit.
Thou shall wash the buildup from thy scalp
Usually a wash every two weeks will suffice but it can vary person to person. The key this is not to let product lay on your scalp.
BONUS TIP: I just discovered the most wonderful thing that has changed my life as a weave wearer forever. DRY SHAMPOO! They come in either powder or spray form and is a great way to freshen up your hair and get rid of some excess oil between washes while your hair is in a weave. Don't sleep on this.
Take-down
Thou shall not overdo the hair due
4-6 weeks! That is that magic time frame when it comes to the proper amount of time to keep a weave in. Some people's hair can with stand a bit more but don't overdo it. There is nothing wrong with you giving your have a very much needed break.
Thou shall grab a friend or a professional to help cut out your weave if you need help
When you have scissors to your head trying to blindly cut the thread of the weave without cutting your hair. If you have someone that can lead a helping hand, go for it. Its best to be safe than sorry.
Thou shall not rush into another weave
Take it slow girl and start from square 1. Take the time (2-3 weeks) to nurture your hair in its loose state before running back to the bundles.
These are just some of the basics when it comes to getting the most out of your weave as a protective style.
What are some ways that you prep your hair for a weave and maintain it while it is all sew-in up? Share with us some of your tips.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Between the rise of the creator economy and the gig economy, the window of opportunity to leverage your creativity for long-term gain has never been more potent.
For the last four years, I’ve worked as a full-time freelance writer and content creator. A year into this journey, I knew that if I wanted to create a sense of structure around my life outside of a traditional 9-5, I would have to create it.
To my surprise, that came in the form of social media.
Now, you might be wondering how someone might be able to juggle their work in a creatively-dominant career like writing while still having the mental capacity to produce ideas for their own personal brand, and well, that answer didn’t come easily.
In 2021, I hit a wall with writing and content creation.
With the stress and uncertainty that came as a result of the pandemic, to being burned out from having to live off my creativity, I reached a breaking point. For me, writing was always a space to explore my thoughts, process heavy topics, and express concepts that only words could bring reason to. However, when I didn’t have the brainpower to write or create content, I knew it was time to set parameters around my hobby of content creation and my passion for storytelling.
In this case, the biggest challenge was finding the balance between the two by releasing the guilt and shame of taking a break from both in order to reconnect with them.
Through years of trial and error, the fog finally cleared, and I was able to hit my stride in 2023. From garnering over 10K followers on TikTok, building an Instagram community around lifestyle and creative encouragement, along with my wellness collective, Black Girl Playground, and writing for xoNecole as a lifestyle contributor, the creative juices have been flowing steadily.
And it all happened by creating a strategy that allowed space for planning, resting, and creating. Today, I’ll be sharing my top tips to help you find your balance between your side hustle and passions.
On staying inspired and motivated when working on various content creation and freelancing projects:
Early this year, I came to the bright conclusion that I needed to shorten the gap between ideation and execution — and it completely changed how I create.
Oftentimes, when we have an idea come to us, we let it sit for too long, and then before we know it, we’ve either lost the enthusiasm to put it into action, or someone else grabs it. If you want to stay in a flow of creativity, whether side projects or full-time work, it’s important to not get slowed down by self-doubt, procrastination, or perfectionism.
Give yourself permission to act on your ideas as they come to you. Even if they’re a little muddy or not “perfect,” you can always fine-tune them later.
@yagirlaley shrinking the gap between [ideation] + [execution] 🧠💡#fyp #creativeadvice
On the importance of choosing a niche:
If there’s one thing that has helped me balance my work as a writer and content creator, it’s putting each in its own niche (or category). By definition, a niche is a specialized segment of the market or a specific area of expertise.
When you are creating in the same niche that you’re also making a living in, that’s an easy way to get your wires crossed. And at times, this could lead to feeling as if you don’t have any ideas for yourself because you’ve given them to the other area you're juggling.
When balancing two, you want to have enough fresh ideas to give to your personal projects and your full-time work to avoid any overlap. This ensures that your personal creative vision isn’t compromised when working on client projects while still having some for yourself.
On the strategies that have helped to maintain a consistent workflow in both areas:
I can’t stress enough how important it is to create a workflow and structure for yourself as a freelancer — this applies to those with a 9-5 in the day and a 5-9 at night, too.
As someone who admittedly has ADHD tendencies, object permanence can sometimes create a block in time and project management. That’s why I encourage creatives and professionals to create systems that allow you to see the work that’s ahead of you.
Personally, I can’t live without having multiple calendars going at once. My Google calendar keeps track of interviews for articles and events, while my physical calendar helps me keep track of important dates. I also work out of an Excel sheet where I can log in ongoing stories and track their status from drafting to submission. I’ve also heard great things about the Notion app for planning and tracking.
When it comes to creating content, spending time doing bulk content days has been an asset to my creative workflow. When I complete the videos, I save them to my drafts and upload them as needed.
Credit: Amberita
Courtesy of the writer
On the best advice for someone who is considering pursuing both content creation and freelancing simultaneously:
Don’t be ashamed of taking a break and resting — because both are essential to the life of a creative. Last month, I returned to Instagram after taking 6 months off from posting. During that time, I worked on growing my TikTok page, using the platform to practice vulnerability and allowing myself to put the fun back into creating content. Without the time, I can’t say I’d be able to approach Instagram with the same ease and playfulness; but thanks to that time away, it was possible.
Resting, letting our minds wander, or simply doing nothing are all just as productive as creating. No one can produce at all times, we have to allow ourselves the space for new concepts and ideas to flow to us. In addition to that, when we take breaks from social media, it allows us to stop the wheel of comparison and consume more than we create. So if you feel like you’re in a creative rut with all you want to balance, it may be time to take a step back, unapologetically.
Your creativity will thank you for it.
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Featured image by Sir Taylor