Your Soul Mates Aren’t The Romance Clichés You Thought They Would Be
Have you ever been romantically involved with someone that brought the absolute worst out of you, but did so in a positive way?
Talk about an oxymoron, smh. That person is something like a twin flame, a mirrored reflection of both the positive and negative aspects within you, bringing all of your qualities to the light, forcing you to examine yourself in a way that makes you both uncomfortable and insecure. It is a divine connection to say the least. Twin flames and soul mates are your Higher Power's way of pulling you further into the evolution and expansion of self.
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It is a common belief that a soul mate is a person who gets you like no other and is the person your soul has been waiting for since forever. While this isn't necessarily untrue, soul mate relationships are not always fine and dandy like a Nicholas Sparks novel-turned-movie will have you believe. Soul mate relationships are hard work, and are often times frustrating, bringing many flaws into the light that both partners need to work on. The purpose of a soulmate, is to grow, above all.
Soul mates come into your life in a flash, rock your world and leave you as an entirely transformed person, hopefully for the better, if you play your cards right.
Recently, I’ve met a wonderful man who is AMAZING beyond words in every way. A real King and a real protector. We clicked instantly and it felt like we knew each other in another lifetime. The divine connection was soooo real, it almost seemed too good to be true... And it was. Although my admiration for him is true, despite us both being on the same page as free spirits who don't like to rush into things, we still have had the rockiest start to any relationship/friendship I have ever been involved in. In a short amount of time, this man has already unknowingly brought some of my most major flaws to light. Ones that I didn’t even know I had.
He has snatched the facade I'm so used to hiding behind and has left me bare, vulnerable, naked and shivering.
Behind this facade of a woman who has it all together is a young girl who is scared shitless of being rejected, a young girl that worries about being worthy of love, a girl who is seemingly laid-back and nonchalant, yet also a handful and tough to understand. A girl who is EXTREMELY sensitive physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally...you get the picture.
A man who is able to love you through your pain and insecurity, is pure gold in a world full of coal. Don’t run away from discord, as this is your spirit's way of shaking things up to open you and your world for what's about to come. Embrace this time and this person's role in your life.
[Tweet "His purpose is to love you through your flaws, as you work on loving yourself in a deeper, more fulfilling way."]
Have you encountered a soul mate? What has she or he taught you about yourself? Let us know in the comments below!
Grace Grant is a Life & Wellness Coach and Founder of EnterprizeYOU, an Empowerment Community for the Free-Spirited Black Woman! Come join us, or connect with Grace on Facebook & Instagram
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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How A Stay At Switzerland's Luxurious 7132 Hotel Reminded Me To Live The Life I Deserve
Sometimes, as women—especially as single Black women—we simply need to be reminded that we are deserving of living a life we dream of. Even if that means creating it for ourselves. I recently set out on a weeklong trip to Switzerland, a trip I’ve been wanting to take for years, and near the end of my visit, I had an epiphany.
“DeAnna, this is the life you deserve,” I thought to myself as I took in the gorgeous bathroom in my suite at the famous 7132 Hotel and Thermal Spa. It was one of the most luxurious hotels (and bathrooms) I had ever stayed in—and that’s saying a lot for someone who often travels for work.
To help you better understand why this was such a mental awakening for me, I first need to give a bit of my backstory. I’m in my late thirties. I’m an attorneyand a journalist. I own a home and have traveled the world extensively. Essentially, I’ve done everything in life I set out to do. However, when it comes to dating, I struggle. Not because there is anything wrong with me per se, but because my career and “lifestyle” often create problems in my romantic relationships.
View from my hotel room
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I’ve been told everything from, ‘I can’t continue to date you because you seem to choose your career over wanting to settle down and have kids’ by a man after only the second date to ‘Maybe if you just sat down somewhere for a while, I’d actually wife you’ by someone who has honestly never proven themselves to be the settle down type. And these are only a handful of the things I’ve been told over the years.
It’s been frustrating, to say the least, and there have even been seasons where I purposely dimmed my light in hopes that my career wouldn’t push away potential suitors. I know what you’re thinking, “Girl, why would you even consider that? If they’re for you, it won’t matter what you do.” Hey, don’t judge me, but also, I one hundred percent agree.
My hotel bathroom
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That’s why this recent moment in Switzerland was right on time. When I first walked into the hotel to check in, I was blown away by the surrounding beauty. It was a five-star property with one of the world’s most famous thermal bathhouses. Yet, it was something about seeing that 90% of the hotel’s guests were couples, that forced me to sit back for a bit of introspection—while soaking in the thermal spa, of course.
As I went through the mental conversation, there was a battle of sorts. On one hand, I knew that being able to partake in experiences like the one I was having at that moment was important to me. I knew that, at times I actually love being able to dabble in the finer things—after all, I’ve worked hard to be able to afford them. On the other hand, and sadly, I knew that sometimes being a single Black woman that publicly showcases her “luxurious” habits can intimidate men and even scare them off from pursuing you under the guise of them feeling like they “can’t do anything for you, because you have everything.”
My hotel room
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So, what is a girl to do?
Do I minimize/hide the life and experiences that I have? Do I play down the hard work I’ve put in to get where I am professionally? Or, do I risk being single in exchange for being able to have said life, without backlash?
Luckily, the joy that I felt while being at this property won. There was something about taking a full day to simply pamper myself at the bathhouse and in my in-room steam shower and soaker tub, indulging in cuisine from a 2-star Michelin restaurant and doing all of this while surrounded by an amazing group of Black women that reminded me—this is certainly the life I was meant to live and that I deserve. Even if it means that right now, I’ll just have to provide it for myself until the right partner comes along. And honestly, I’m okay with that.
Restaurant at 7132 hotel
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