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"A woman's place is in the kitchen," they say. Well, tell that to the women running Fortune 500 businesses and building billion dollar empires.
Millennial women of color have become increasingly visible in the corporate world and have relentlessly persisted toward securing a position on the economic playing field, but this fact has caused a significant shift in gender roles.
We are now confronting the ideological confines that society has set in the name of sexism and gender identity, and seek to create new paradigms about what it means to be a woman. Our femininity no longer rests on our ability to keep house.
Despite our race to equality and fight to eliminate these stereotypes, some women still feel that it is a woman's place to cook, clean, and make sure a man's drawers are washed to perfection. It's this type of thinking that earned Love and Hip Hop: Miamistar, Amara La Negra, a whirlwind of backlash from her online audience.
Amara La Negra's Instagram
Recently, the entertainer posted a photo on Instagram that showed her in a bodycon dress cleaning the shower with the caption:
"A man's house is a reflection of the woman he's with. Food for thought. Being pretty is just a bonus with me."
The post even prompted a hilarious challenge that led women and men to upload ridiculous photos of themselves cleaning their showers with unlikely household items with the previously mentioned caption and the hashtag #CleanYourMansHouseChallenge.
It's 2018 and many women still believe that it is a woman's "duty" to take care of the home. But that doesn't mean that line of thinking is right.
The first time I moved in with a partner was rough to say the least, but what was even harder, was living up to his grandmother's expectations. She was an older German woman, and the first real example I had ever seen of a homemaker. There was never any dust in her home, coffee was always made in the morning, lunches were made immediately after, and despite how many people she took care of, there were never any dishes in the sink. When i would offer to help, she would gleefully decline, letting me know that she likes to do it.
I was baffled, I had never seen anything like it. My mother had earned three degrees by the time I was born, and got pregnant with me while pursuing her fourth. Even after going into labor, as soon as she was able, she was back to work. My father took care of most of the housework, and I had grown up to see these chores as more of a shared responsibility rather than a dynamic that was indicative of any gender roles.
When I got older and moved in with my own partner, we reflected the same dynamic. This was to the dismay of his grandmother of course, who frowned when she found dust at the top of my laundry room door and didn't feel like my kitchen floor had been mopped to capacity. She would mention tips and tricks that would help me keep a cleaner house, constantly reiterating that it was my responsibility to maintain the home we shared.
Over time, I became pressed to impress her. I spent days cleaning our apartment before she came to visit, only for her to criticize what I hadn't done. It made me feel inadequate as a partner and a lover. Even though we both had jobs, and I was also finishing up my degree, somehow in her eyes, it was solely my responsibility to keep house.
And let me tell you something ladies and gentleman, that's bullsh-t.
We no longer live in a time where a woman should be expected to cook, clean, and have sex like a pornstar to be considered a worthy partner. I'm sorry Amara, but a man's house is not a reflection of me. It may be a reflection of our dynamic and ability to delegate chores, but the cleanliness of my man's home is not a reflection of me as a lover or a life partner, because I'm not his maid.
Women have jobs, dreams, and aspirations, just like men do. So if I need you to wash the dishes tonight homeboy, you're going to have to make that happen. A relationship is about shared responsibility, and can be stifled by age-old theories about gender if you allow it to.
Every woman should be equipped with homemaking qualities and abilities, there's no doubt about that, but so should men. I want a man that can cook and clean too, damnit. After all, he's not the only one bringing home the bacon.
What do you think? Are you with Amara, do you think the dynamic should be shared between partners, or both? Let us know in the comments down below.
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Destination dupes are the latest travel trend that involves visiting lesser-known, affordable places that offer a similar experience to popular destinations. One of the benefits of traveling to a destination dupe is that travelers get to discover a hidden gem, avoid crowds, and save money in the process.
There are many similar destinations around the world to choose from, so check out our list of the seven top destination dupes below.
Discover Amsterdam In Aruba
Will & Deni McIntyre/ Getty Images
Aruba has a massive Dutch influence, which can be found in its architecture, charming streets, and culture. Couple that with water activities such as snorkeling or scuba diving, and you have a vacation to remember. The Aruba Marriott Resort & Stellaris Casino is the perfect spot to immerse yourself in all that the island has to offer.
Find Costa Rican Wildlife In Mexico
Sandos Caracol Eco Resort
Costa Rica may be known for its tropical wildlife, but Playa del Carmen offers the same experience with less flight time. The Mexican town is located on the coastline of Riviera Maya and the Sandos Caracol Eco Resort, is a great place to take in the wildlife scenery, like spider monkeys, coatis, howler monkeys, all different kinds of birds, marine wildlife in its riverways and so much more.
Trade In The Greek Islands For This Caribbean Island
Courtesy
Experience Greece in the Caribbean when you visit South Andros island in the Bahamas. It’s one of the larger islands and has the world’s third-largest barrier reef. However, it’s still relatively less crowded than other vacation hot spots. Check into Caerula Mar Club for a relaxing stay.
Can't Make It To Venice? Discover The "Venice of America"
Leigh Ann Speake/ Getty Images
Fort Lauderdale is often referred to as “Venice of America” thanks to its 165 miles of beautiful, tropical navigable waterways and riverwalk. The city is also known for its award-winning art museums, small shops, delicious dining, and the beautiful string lights in the streets of Las Olas. Check out Hyatt Centric Las Olas located near galleries and fine dining or W Fort Lauderdale for sweeping views of the Atlantic and Intracoastal.
Explore Spanish Culture Without The Passport
Maremagnum/ Getty Images
If you’re looking for a Spanish destination with no passport required, than look no further than Puerto Rico. The beautiful island has a Spanish influence that can be found in the food, architecture and culture. By staying at Hyatt Regency Grand Reserve Puerto Rico in Rio Grande, travelers can get a taste of the island’s beauty in their backyard. The expansive resort is set on the famed sandy shores of PR and framed against the backdrop of the El Yunque rainforest.
Uncover The Best Wine Without The High Price
Ashley Harp/ Getty Images
Who needs Bordeaux, France when California wine country is a short flight away? Discover Napa Valley and all it has to offer, including the best vino and picturesque views of sprawling vineyards and rolling hills. The Meritage Resort & Spa is a premier vineyard property that offers world-class luxury with exceptional hospitality. Guests can choose from on-site tasting rooms, elevated dining options, a locally sourced artisanal market, relaxing spa and more.
Take In Coastal Views Without The Crowds
Krit Jantana/ Getty Images
If you want Amalfi Coast without the crowds, then explore Turkey’s Datça Peninsula (aka the Turkish Riviera). Travelers will be surrounded by stunning views of volcanic mountain ranges, neighboring Greek islands, and crystal-clear waters. D Maris Bay is a luxurious, secluded resort with five private beaches, several indoor and outdoor pools, an array of water excursions, and world-renowned dining.
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