Ace Hood & Shelah Marie On How Partner Yoga Has Changed Their Relationship
Downward Forward Dog. Double Plow. Reclining Bound Angle.
No, these aren't names of kinky sex positions (although they can be), but yoga poses designed to help get your mind and body right. It's a practice that actress Shelah Marie and her boyfriend, rapper Ace Hood, know all too well. In fact, it's part of what caught my eye when a post of the couple went viral with the caption:
“Get yourself a black spiritual feminist from Erykah Badu Twitter and be happy like Ace Hood."
Hilarious!
It lead me to scour their Instagram pages, where images of Ace Hood—legs crossed, hands open in quiet meditation—graced his feed, while images of Shelah giving #bodygoals popped up with every downward scroll. I was certainly loving the cute selfies the couple took together, but it was an image of them meditating together that really stood out.
One, because seeing a rapper who's actually being still is freaking amazing. Outside of Russell Simmons and David Banner, I don't know too many hip hop artists who speak openly about meditation. Also, they both looked to be at such peace—with themselves, and one another.
While the physical benefits go well beyond the mat, it's the mental benefits that Shelah believes is essential to helping couples in and outside of the bedroom. “You have to sit and listen to yourself and be comfortable with yourself, and you also have to do the hard work. And I think yoga, when you practice sitting in a very uncomfortable position for a long period of time, that mindset is transferrable to other parts of your life."
Everyone is looking for that secret formula for a happy and fulfilling relationship. Great communication, willingness to compromise, and fulfilling your partner's needs are just a few tidbits that married couples have passed down to those of us who are single or navigating the murky waters of love. But what if someone told you the answer lies not just within your actions, but in your attitude? And that embracing the ancient practice of yoga can help prepare you for the trials and tribulations of relationships?
When Shelah first started doing yoga four years ago, her original intent was to get back into stretching to increase her flexibility. Although she's always been active in fitness, as she got older she started noticing a change in her body, and wanted to do something that would push her beyond her limits.
“I've always been interested in what you can do with you body, and I've always taken dance classes, so fitness is just an extension of me challenging myself physically and mentally and sharpening my tools."
Through meditation and discipline, Shelah continued to grow in all areas of her life, but it wasn't until her partner Ace Hood expressed interest in doing yoga that the practice begin to not only impact her life, but her relationship as well.
Shelah was admittedly surprised that Ace was open to yoga, mainly because of the stigma that yoga is a feminine practice, despite becoming more popular amongst males. But the artist, who is also athletic and does MMA training, was looking for something that would add stretching to his strenuous workouts. “Ace is an open person and he's very smart, so he can tune into when something can be good to you, and he's like I'll give it a try at least. But he was actually really interested in yoga before I introduced him he just never had the opportunity."
Not wanting to get his feet wet in a formal class (let's be real, it's can be distracting to be in a room of women contorting their bodies into unimaginable positions), Shelah reached out to a Racheal Weathers—a self-taught yoga guru who goes by Yoga Racheal, and who has gained a massive following on social media—who agreed to do private sessions with the couple while they were in Los Angeles for the summer.
“I followed her for like a year before that, and I remember thinking look what she's doing with her body! I'm attracted to people who do interesting things with their body, because it's a reflection of other things to me. I saw her discipline, she's super flexible, and can do all of these cool poses. She used to move me man," says Shelah.
The first session was intense. One that Racheal remembers being full of laughs and tears as the couple learned to come together as one through partner yoga. “When couples do [yoga] together, it's just total different connections. On a physical level, it's like if you do something wrong they're going to fall and vice versa. And the connection is just different; I feel like it taps into a whole other part of the brain, a whole other part of the emotional ecosystem in our bodies. It definitely creates a deeper connection," says Racheal.
Shelah accredits Racheal's soft style of leadership to making the session peaceful and productive. They pushed past their weaknesses and learned to be strong in areas where the other lacked. For Shelah, it was her core and arm strength that needed work. For Ace, his flexibility.
It also helped bring the couple closer together as they mastered each other's love languages. “I would say ultimately they're communication increased. Not that they had bad communication, but it got better and better," Racheal says.
And of course, adding to their sex life didn't hurt either.
“Intimacy happens in the mind first, so I think yoga helps you to become more in tuned with yourself," Shelah says. “When we're in tune with our own selves and become more comfortable with ourselves, then you become more comfortable with your partner."
Shelah also noticed a change in how Ace approached life. As a rapper, the “can't stop, won't stop" mantra is real. Running from show to show and in and out of studios at all hours of the night leaves little time for rest, and being in the game where everybody claims themselves to be hustlers, it's no wonder that sitting still can sometimes feel uncomfortable. But yoga forced Ace Hood to slow down, breathe, and take a moment to get his thoughts together. Now it's nothing for him to wake up and sit in silence for 10 minutes before paper chasing.
Shelah says in awe of her partner, “I think he's so brave. I used to tell him that in the beginning, just being with a black girl who has natural hair and not being afraid to go out and meditate, I think it's brave for somebody in his position. He's going to wake the game up and let them know what time it is!"
As far as the overall impact to their relationship? “I would say it changed many parts of our relationship. The fundamental idea of yoga, if I understand correctly, is yoga and meditation are together. Because it takes the meditation to soothe yourself and actual tangible actions that you have to do. And that's why it's beneficial for a couple because it goes both ways."
As the saying goes, couples who sweat together, stay together—great sex is just a bonus.
- Shelah Marie Ace Hood Marriage - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Yoga Sex Positions: Poses That Improve Your Sex Life - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- The Best Yoga Poses For An Emotional Release - xoNecole: Lifestyle, Culture, Love, & Wellness ›
- Ace Hood & Shelah Marie's Wedding Was Everything! - xoNecole: Lifestyle, Culture, Love, Wellness ›
- Principle-Based Partner Yoga with Elysabeth Williamson ›
- 7 Benefits Of Partner Yoga + 5 Poses To Get You Started ›
- 7 Couples Yoga Poses for Beginners That'll Bring You Closer ... ›
- PARTNER YOGA POSES FOR BEGINNERS - YouTube ›
- Partner Yoga | YogaGlo ›
- 10 partner yoga poses for building intimacy | Well+Good ›
- 10 Yoga Poses to Do with a Partner - Health ›
- @theshelahmarie • Instagram photos and videos ›
- Shelah Marie ›
- Shelah Marie (@ShelahMarie) | Twitter ›
- ABOUT — Soul Study with Shelah ›
- Curvy, Curly, Conscious ›
- Meditation Mixtape by Shelah Marie on Spotify ›
Kiah McBride writes technical content by day and uses storytelling to pen real and raw personal development pieces on her blog Write On Kiah. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter at @writeonkiah.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Between the rise of the creator economy and the gig economy, the window of opportunity to leverage your creativity for long-term gain has never been more potent.
For the last four years, I’ve worked as a full-time freelance writer and content creator. A year into this journey, I knew that if I wanted to create a sense of structure around my life outside of a traditional 9-5, I would have to create it.
To my surprise, that came in the form of social media.
Now, you might be wondering how someone might be able to juggle their work in a creatively-dominant career like writing while still having the mental capacity to produce ideas for their own personal brand, and well, that answer didn’t come easily.
In 2021, I hit a wall with writing and content creation.
With the stress and uncertainty that came as a result of the pandemic, to being burned out from having to live off my creativity, I reached a breaking point. For me, writing was always a space to explore my thoughts, process heavy topics, and express concepts that only words could bring reason to. However, when I didn’t have the brainpower to write or create content, I knew it was time to set parameters around my hobby of content creation and my passion for storytelling.
In this case, the biggest challenge was finding the balance between the two by releasing the guilt and shame of taking a break from both in order to reconnect with them.
Through years of trial and error, the fog finally cleared, and I was able to hit my stride in 2023. From garnering over 10K followers on TikTok, building an Instagram community around lifestyle and creative encouragement, along with my wellness collective, Black Girl Playground, and writing for xoNecole as a lifestyle contributor, the creative juices have been flowing steadily.
And it all happened by creating a strategy that allowed space for planning, resting, and creating. Today, I’ll be sharing my top tips to help you find your balance between your side hustle and passions.
On staying inspired and motivated when working on various content creation and freelancing projects:
Early this year, I came to the bright conclusion that I needed to shorten the gap between ideation and execution — and it completely changed how I create.
Oftentimes, when we have an idea come to us, we let it sit for too long, and then before we know it, we’ve either lost the enthusiasm to put it into action, or someone else grabs it. If you want to stay in a flow of creativity, whether side projects or full-time work, it’s important to not get slowed down by self-doubt, procrastination, or perfectionism.
Give yourself permission to act on your ideas as they come to you. Even if they’re a little muddy or not “perfect,” you can always fine-tune them later.
@yagirlaley shrinking the gap between [ideation] + [execution] 🧠💡#fyp #creativeadvice
On the importance of choosing a niche:
If there’s one thing that has helped me balance my work as a writer and content creator, it’s putting each in its own niche (or category). By definition, a niche is a specialized segment of the market or a specific area of expertise.
When you are creating in the same niche that you’re also making a living in, that’s an easy way to get your wires crossed. And at times, this could lead to feeling as if you don’t have any ideas for yourself because you’ve given them to the other area you're juggling.
When balancing two, you want to have enough fresh ideas to give to your personal projects and your full-time work to avoid any overlap. This ensures that your personal creative vision isn’t compromised when working on client projects while still having some for yourself.
On the strategies that have helped to maintain a consistent workflow in both areas:
I can’t stress enough how important it is to create a workflow and structure for yourself as a freelancer — this applies to those with a 9-5 in the day and a 5-9 at night, too.
As someone who admittedly has ADHD tendencies, object permanence can sometimes create a block in time and project management. That’s why I encourage creatives and professionals to create systems that allow you to see the work that’s ahead of you.
Personally, I can’t live without having multiple calendars going at once. My Google calendar keeps track of interviews for articles and events, while my physical calendar helps me keep track of important dates. I also work out of an Excel sheet where I can log in ongoing stories and track their status from drafting to submission. I’ve also heard great things about the Notion app for planning and tracking.
When it comes to creating content, spending time doing bulk content days has been an asset to my creative workflow. When I complete the videos, I save them to my drafts and upload them as needed.
Credit: Amberita
Courtesy of the writer
On the best advice for someone who is considering pursuing both content creation and freelancing simultaneously:
Don’t be ashamed of taking a break and resting — because both are essential to the life of a creative. Last month, I returned to Instagram after taking 6 months off from posting. During that time, I worked on growing my TikTok page, using the platform to practice vulnerability and allowing myself to put the fun back into creating content. Without the time, I can’t say I’d be able to approach Instagram with the same ease and playfulness; but thanks to that time away, it was possible.
Resting, letting our minds wander, or simply doing nothing are all just as productive as creating. No one can produce at all times, we have to allow ourselves the space for new concepts and ideas to flow to us. In addition to that, when we take breaks from social media, it allows us to stop the wheel of comparison and consume more than we create. So if you feel like you’re in a creative rut with all you want to balance, it may be time to take a step back, unapologetically.
Your creativity will thank you for it.
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Featured image by Sir Taylor