Does A Bold Red Lip Work For Your Office Culture?
Red lipstick. For the office or not for the office? That is the question.
Red lipstick is my signature. I'd like to think I could've lived in two other decades: the 30s or the 70s. I love the the classic, femininity of the 1930's, and I also love the over the top glam of the 70s. I think I was Diana Ross in my past life! My ode to that classic glamour is a simple, yet bold red lipstick (MAC's Ruby Woo) and red nail polish (OPI's Big Apple Red).
I proudly wear my red lipstick to the office in hopes of conveying my creativity, strength, and sense of style to those I interact with.
It's a bold and powerful color, and in the right setting can exude confidence. But recently I wondered if I worked in a more corporate environment, would my red lipstick be perceived differently?
For decades working women have had to stick to a more traditional, corporate office style. My mother, Cathy Ann Ivey, is one of the top 1% black women executives at a Fortune 500 Company. During our recent mommy-daughter chats, she shared that back when she started in corporate America, office style was very corporate cookie cutter. "I started my career in financial services in the 1980's on Wall Street. We wore blue, gray or black skirt suits with hose, paisley bow ties and minimal make-up."
It would seem that in creative fields like journalism, social media and tech red lipstick would be a show of confidence. However, like my mom many of you work in highly corporate environments, but is the style tide changing even in corporate America? I asked women like you, from different industries and different walks of life, to share their take on red lipstick in a work environment.
Here's what they had to say:
"Red lipstick works in my office culture. It forces people to take the words coming out of my mouth seriously. More importantly, I'm more confident in the attention that I command wearing red lipstick. Plus, I'm the fashion girl. It's expected for me to have add 'wow factor' to my look."
-Channing Hargrove, Marketing & Communications Coordinator (+blogger on the side), wearing YSL Rouge Pur Couture Lip Color in Le Orange
"I wear red to the office. I do think it appropriate depending on your profession. Being from the south, I remember a lot of my friends not being able to wear red lips or red polish because it was considered too "grown" of a color. But I don't think red lipstick changes one's perception of me, especially if they are familiar with my work ethic."
-Melissa Chanel, Social Media Manager from Charlotte, NC wearing RiRi Woo
"I personally do not believe that it changes people's perception of me, but what it does is distracts them from their intent of approaching me.I do not believe that wearing red lipstick has a lasting effect on long term office relationships or ones career. I just think that you have to use justification to know when or when it is not appropriate."
-Tia Boyd, Market Risk Analyst for Wells Fargo Bank in Charlotte, NC
"I believe red lipstick is absolutely appropriate if you want to give the perception of bold, beautiful and about your business. Red always speaks louder than any other color to me. It's classic and versatile, and I can't think of a situation where red lipstick would ever be inappropriate for a lady."
- Maya Elious, Personal Branding Strategist from Atlanta, GA wearing NYX Perfect Red Matte Lipstick
"I love to wear red lipstick in the office. It brings about a sense of confidence and control for me. The people in my office seem to respect me just a tad bit more as well. I suggest that every woman owns a shade of red lipstick. It's so classic for the office and demanding."
-Jasmine Cooper, Marketing Intern from Kansas City wearing MAC Ruby Woo
My take?
Know your work environment and pay attention to what shades of lipstick other women in your office are wearing. I usually follow my boss' lead. If she wears bold lip colors, then I know it's something that works in our office. I wear red lipstick everyday; it's my version of a neutral!
No matter what lip color you wear, wear it with confidence. And while your red lip may scream confident to your coworkers, always make sure your work ethic and creativity shine through just as boldly.
What are your thoughts? Would you wear red lipstick to work or do you think it's very inappropriate in the office?
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images