Does A Bold Red Lip Work For Your Office Culture?
Red lipstick. For the office or not for the office? That is the question.
Red lipstick is my signature. I'd like to think I could've lived in two other decades: the 30s or the 70s. I love the classic, femininity of the 1930's, and I also love the over-the-top glam of the 70s. I think I was Diana Ross in my past life! My ode to that classic glamour is a simple, yet bold red lipstick (MAC's Ruby Woo) and red nail polish (OPI's Big Apple Red).
I proudly wear my red lipstick to the office in hopes of conveying my creativity, strength, and sense of style to those I interact with.
It's a bold and powerful color, and in the right setting can exude confidence. But recently I wondered if I worked in a more corporate environment, would my red lipstick be perceived differently?
For decades working women have had to stick to a more traditional, corporate office style. My mother, Cathy Ann Ivey, is one of the top 1% black women executives at a Fortune 500 Company. During our recent mommy-daughter chats, she shared that back when she started in corporate America, office style was very corporate cookie-cutter. "I started my career in financial services in the 1980's on Wall Street. We wore blue, gray, or black skirt suits with hose, paisley bow ties, and minimal make-up."
It would seem that in creative fields like journalism, social media, and tech red lipstick would be a show of confidence. However, like my mom many of you work in highly corporate environments, but is the style tide changing even in corporate America? I asked women like you, from different industries and different walks of life, to share their take on red lipstick in a work environment.
Here's what they had to say:
"Red lipstick works in my office culture. It forces people to take the words coming out of my mouth seriously. More importantly, I'm more confident in the attention that I command wearing red lipstick. Plus, I'm the fashion girl. It's expected for me to have add 'wow factor' to my look."
-Channing Hargrove, Marketing & Communications Coordinator (+blogger on the side), wearing YSL Rouge Pur Couture Lip Color in Le Orange
"I wear red to the office. I do think it appropriate depending on your profession. Being from the south, I remember a lot of my friends not being able to wear red lips or red polish because it was considered too "grown" of a color. But I don't think red lipstick changes one's perception of me, especially if they are familiar with my work ethic."
-Melissa Chanel, Social Media Manager from Charlotte, NC wearing RiRi Woo
"I personally do not believe that it changes people's perception of me, but what it does is distracts them from their intent of approaching me.I do not believe that wearing red lipstick has a lasting effect on long term office relationships or ones career. I just think that you have to use justification to know when or when it is not appropriate."
-Tia Boyd, Market Risk Analyst for Wells Fargo Bank in Charlotte, NC
"I believe red lipstick is absolutely appropriate if you want to give the perception of bold, beautiful and about your business. Red always speaks louder than any other color to me. It's classic and versatile, and I can't think of a situation where red lipstick would ever be inappropriate for a lady."
- Maya Elious, Personal Branding Strategist from Atlanta, GA wearing NYX Perfect Red Matte Lipstick
"I love to wear red lipstick in the office. It brings about a sense of confidence and control for me. The people in my office seem to respect me just a tad bit more as well. I suggest that every woman owns a shade of red lipstick. It's so classic for the office and demanding."
-Jasmine Cooper, Marketing Intern from Kansas City wearing MAC Ruby Woo
My take?
Know your work environment and pay attention to what shades of lipstick other women in your office are wearing. I usually follow my boss' lead. If she wears bold lip colors, then I know it's something that works in our office. I wear red lipstick every day; it's my version of a neutral!
No matter what lip color you wear, wear it with confidence. And while your red lip may scream confidence to your coworkers, always make sure your work ethic and creativity shine through just as boldly.
What are your thoughts? Would you wear red lipstick to work or do you think it's very inappropriate in the office?
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The difficulties of dating go without saying. We live in a generation where women are expected to abide by innumerable unwritten dating rules, including what and what not to ask on the first few dates. So we deprive ourselves of precious time talking about things that don’t even matter. Well, I want a soft life, and closed mouths don’t get fed.
“What’s not said is not understood” is one of my favorite coined mottos. Manifesting my best soft girl life doesn’t include biting my tongue from asking necessary questions and sticking to ego-stroking facts of what a great school he went to or how cute that his first son must share his first name. It includes having a partner who’s ready and willing to not only match my energy but also contribute to my lifestyle. So tell me, how I’m supposed to do that if we’re busy talking about how his favorite thing to do is go to Lakers games? (Like, honestly, who really cares?)
Now, I’m not saying start going into dates, guns blazing, asking about credit scores, and how many kids he wants. But that’s not to say you shouldn’t want to have an idea of his financial setup and goals. The key is subtlety. While I’m no dating expert and quite single, I’ve found myself wasting less time by wording questions in a deliberate way that helps sift through the Prince Charmings and Mr. Right Nows. These are a few I recommend:
“Tell me a red flag about yourself that you think I should know.”
You know how job interviewers ask you to describe your biggest weakness? This is the same idea. It’s an opportunity to show vulnerability and self-awareness. Follow up by asking if he’s actively working on improving. Whatever the response, it’s up to you to decide if it’s alarming enough to either run or stay. But I can’t emphasize this enough: PLEASE don’t take this as a charming challenge of “I can change him.” He’s (fill in the blank) years old. He’s had (fill in the blank) amount of years to change. If he hasn’t, he has no desire to.
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“Do you do your work for the money or because of passion?”
I like this question because it indicates how attached he is to his career. I’ve found men who do what they do because of passion are more willing to sacrifice quality time for work. Passion is admirable, yes, but you’re looking for a romantic partner – not a business consultant. You’ll get an idea of his work-life balance. Is he the type to take time off for a couple’s vacation? Or will you spend your summer Saturdays local because he can’t pull himself away? While the ones who work for money may have more free time, are contrarily miserable and up to start a new career path at some point. The new question is, are you willing to stand beside the financial stall that it might put him through?
“What do you want your ideal household with your partner to look like, responsibility-wise?”
If you want to know if he’s the type to take care of all the bills or expects you to go 50/50, ask this question. It’s worded perfectly for him to answer however he interprets. Whether it defines who pays the bills to who takes out the garbage. However, if he’s not sure how to answer, elaborate by saying, “Do you prefer your partner to have the more traditional role of only taking care of the house, or do you look forward to sharing all of the responsibilities down the middle?” He’ll most likely ask you in turn, and it’s up to you to be as honest about your expectations as you feel at that moment. I gently communicate my preferences even if they differ from his because I don’t want to create false expectations for myself, trying to gain his favor.
“How much of an influence does your family have on your love life?”
We love a family man. It’s the cornerstone of healthy relationships. But for some, there is such a thing as too much family. It’s important to know how close they are so you’ll get an idea of how much their opinions can affect the relationship. Consider the following: Will there be tension if you skip family events? How willing is he to create boundaries necessary for your comfort? Can you rely on him to put his foot down when his sisters are being overprotective?
Then, once we’re in a more comfortable place, I’ll even ask how his family handled the end of his last relationship. His answer can indicate how emotionally involved they were, so listen for hints of them missing her or having complete disdain. (How they talk about her is how they’ll talk about you.)
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“When did you realize you were ready to settle down?”
This question can be scary to answer but only depending on his true intentions. It assumes that you’re both on the same page. Just the thought of a serious relationship will make the biggest serial dater squirm and accidentally admit that he’s not interested in anything serious after all. He may also pull the nonchalant card by reciting the “I’m just vibing” script. *gag* Whereas, a man of intention will straight up say exactly how he knows he’s prepared to enter a committed partnership. Don’t take this as 100% Bible, though. Continue to make sure his actions match his words because there’s nothing worse than being tricked into a situationship based on empty promises.
Really, all we can do is be intentional, learn lessons, and apply those lessons along the way. There’s no foolproof way of dating, so we can’t afford to waste time not asking the right questions. While knowing his zodiac sign is arguably quite important, let’s make sure we’re setting up our futures for everything we deserve and more.
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