Red lipstick. For the office or not for the office? That is the question.
Red lipstick is my signature. I'd like to think I could've lived in two other decades: the 30s or the 70s. I love the classic, femininity of the 1930's, and I also love the over-the-top glam of the 70s. I think I was Diana Ross in my past life! My ode to that classic glamour is a simple, yet bold red lipstick (MAC's Ruby Woo) and red nail polish (OPI's Big Apple Red).
I proudly wear my red lipstick to the office in hopes of conveying my creativity, strength, and sense of style to those I interact with.
It's a bold and powerful color, and in the right setting can exude confidence. But recently I wondered if I worked in a more corporate environment, would my red lipstick be perceived differently?
For decades working women have had to stick to a more traditional, corporate office style. My mother, Cathy Ann Ivey, is one of the top 1% black women executives at a Fortune 500 Company. During our recent mommy-daughter chats, she shared that back when she started in corporate America, office style was very corporate cookie-cutter. "I started my career in financial services in the 1980's on Wall Street. We wore blue, gray, or black skirt suits with hose, paisley bow ties, and minimal make-up."
It would seem that in creative fields like journalism, social media, and tech red lipstick would be a show of confidence. However, like my mom many of you work in highly corporate environments, but is the style tide changing even in corporate America? I asked women like you, from different industries and different walks of life, to share their take on red lipstick in a work environment.
Here's what they had to say:
"Red lipstick works in my office culture. It forces people to take the words coming out of my mouth seriously. More importantly, I'm more confident in the attention that I command wearing red lipstick. Plus, I'm the fashion girl. It's expected for me to have add 'wow factor' to my look."
-Channing Hargrove, Marketing & Communications Coordinator (+blogger on the side), wearing YSL Rouge Pur Couture Lip Color in Le Orange
"I wear red to the office. I do think it appropriate depending on your profession. Being from the south, I remember a lot of my friends not being able to wear red lips or red polish because it was considered too "grown" of a color. But I don't think red lipstick changes one's perception of me, especially if they are familiar with my work ethic."
-Melissa Chanel, Social Media Manager from Charlotte, NC wearing RiRi Woo
"I personally do not believe that it changes people's perception of me, but what it does is distracts them from their intent of approaching me.I do not believe that wearing red lipstick has a lasting effect on long term office relationships or ones career. I just think that you have to use justification to know when or when it is not appropriate."
-Tia Boyd, Market Risk Analyst for Wells Fargo Bank in Charlotte, NC
"I believe red lipstick is absolutely appropriate if you want to give the perception of bold, beautiful and about your business. Red always speaks louder than any other color to me. It's classic and versatile, and I can't think of a situation where red lipstick would ever be inappropriate for a lady."
- Maya Elious, Personal Branding Strategist from Atlanta, GA wearing NYX Perfect Red Matte Lipstick
"I love to wear red lipstick in the office. It brings about a sense of confidence and control for me. The people in my office seem to respect me just a tad bit more as well. I suggest that every woman owns a shade of red lipstick. It's so classic for the office and demanding."
-Jasmine Cooper, Marketing Intern from Kansas City wearing MAC Ruby Woo
My take?
Know your work environment and pay attention to what shades of lipstick other women in your office are wearing. I usually follow my boss' lead. If she wears bold lip colors, then I know it's something that works in our office. I wear red lipstick every day; it's my version of a neutral!
No matter what lip color you wear, wear it with confidence. And while your red lip may scream confidence to your coworkers, always make sure your work ethic and creativity shine through just as boldly.
What are your thoughts? Would you wear red lipstick to work or do you think it's very inappropriate in the office?
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The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak