I Raised My Income From $45K A Year To Over $150K By Making These Life Changes
Making money is, essentially, a game.
Once you learn how to play any game, it's often easier to win.
I've doubled my income multiple times over the last five years. Each time I made a leap in my income, it was because I worked on myself more than anything. I worked on how I lived my life. I worked on the beliefs I held. I worked on healing old wounds. I worked on my faith. I worked on my skills and abilities. I raised myself up to become the person who could make the kind of money I desired to make.
The first four years of my career were spent working at a global consulting firm. Although it seemed like the perfect job on the outside, there was a lot of pressure and bureaucracy that came with such a prestigious job and I didn't feel like I fit in there.
I was also working one, sometimes two side jobs, just to make some extra cash doing everything from promotional modeling to hostessing. Despite the hustle, I was only making around $45,000 a year. That was a lot of work and a lot of fight for such small paychecks.
I was also pretty unhappy in life and with myself. I was living in a place I didn't like. I spent most of my evenings watching TV. My friends and coworkers were buying homes, traveling, and living a life that was richer and fuller than mine.
I finally got fed up with my situation and started to work on myself. At 24, I realized no one was coming to save me and that it was up to me to save myself.
I canceled my cable and started going to the gym. I started reading books about personal growth, life, and money. I started cooking and eating healthier foods. I started thinking for myself as opposed to what we're told to think. And I starting focusing on the goodness in life as opposed to the things that sucked.
It was not easy, but I was determined to create a better life for myself. It took me about two years of self-improvement before my outside world fully reflected the inside world.
Before I knew it, I had paid off over $10,000 in credit card debt with the principles I learned about money and I set a goal to make $60,000 a year. That seemed like a lot of money and I didn't know how I was going to make it happen, or if I could make it happen. But something in me believed it was possible.
I shared my goal with my therapist at the time. I was shocked at her response when she told me my goal was bull-ish. Instead, she lovingly told me that I should aim for $75,000 a year. Not because $75,000 was some magical number, but because I was worth it.
$75,000 a year felt like a ridiculous goal. How could someone like me make that kind of money? I didn't have more than an undergraduate degree and a few years working experience. How in the hell was I going to pull that off? The fact that my therapist believed in me and believed I could earn $75,000 a year made me believe it also.
Related: How Getting Laid Off Was The Best Thing To Happen To Me And My Career
A few months later, a friend and colleague reached out to me because her consulting firm was hiring for a specific position that she thought I would be perfect for. A few interviews later, I had a job offer for exactly $75,000 a year. And because I was starting to realize how powerful and worthy I was with all of the work I was putting into myself, I had the balls to ask for $80,000 - and the company accepted my counter-offer!!!!!
The day I went from working two jobs making $45,000 a year to $80,000 a year with one job was one of the most profound days of my life. I felt like I had won the lotto. I remember crying, overwhelmed with joy thinking, How did this happen to someone like me?
It happened because of all the changes I made in my life and within myself. They had paid off - literally.
Once I started making $80,000, I knew I was on to something. So I set my next income goal: to earn more than $100,000 a year. And I wanted to own my own business.
After I set that goal, I kept focused on myself and on my growth because I knew my life had changed because I had changed. I did the necessary work on myself and had a higher sense of self-worth. And I delved even deeper into becoming the woman I knew I could be. I started attending online seminars and meditating as well as all of the other things I had been focusing on.
But as I grew, so did the challenges I had to face. I ended up getting unexpectedly laid off from that company after only a year of being with them. And I was devastated. I felt like I had just started making more than enough money to pay my bills and save.
And there I was jobless.
When I was laid off, I was able to handle it like an adult. I never thought I could have handled something to awful with so much grace. But I chose to view it as an opportunity to create something even better in my life.
And it was.
Instead of taking any job that came my way to make ends meet, I continued to work on myself while scouring job boards for positions that fueled my passions. I envisioned myself in those positions, and after only six weeks without work, an opportunity came my way. It would allow me to start my own business and I would be earning over $150,000 a year. A friend and colleague knew my situation and put me in touch with the program manger of a big project she was part of who was looking for a consultant. After a few phone interviews, the gig was mine. I registered my business and started a bank account in my business name the next week!
This was another profound, pivotal moment in my life. I had done it - again. I had achieved both goals within a year of setting them. But most importantly, I had evolved to the next level of myself and so I was ready for the next level of success.
When I started working on myself, it was out of fear that I might never move out of that crappy house and that I would be stuck in a job I didn't like. Fear that I would live paycheck to paycheck for the rest of my life. Fear that I might never live the full life I knew was possible. Constantly focusing on that fear and what I didn't like about my life only attracted more fear and turmoil in my life. Once I changed my thinking, and started focusing more on the things I enjoyed, where I wanted to be, and how I was going to get there, my life started changing for the better.
And I've continued to work on myself, not because of the money, but because of the woman I continue to evolve to be. Once you are able to build your self-worth, it will allow you the security of knowing that you will never have to settle for less than what you truly deserve in all aspects of your life.
Brittney Pappano consults and advises businesses of all shapes and sizes, from Fortune 100 companies to life coaches to women with a big dreams. She's a self-made hustler determined to live her best life and to help other women do the same. Her saviors are books, yoga, Drake, and daydreaming. Connect with her on Facebook: Brittney.pappano, and Instagram: @Brittney_pappano
Featured image by Getty Images.
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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I think we all can agree that social media really is a double-edged sword. What I mean by that is there is just as much bad that can come out of it as good. At the end of the day, it really is about 1) having your own mind, 2) finding balance when it comes to how much time you spend online, and 3) doing your own research instead of taking random people’s opinions as the gospel (i.e., facts).
Gee, I wish more folks did all of this when it comes to if a man needs to have a large penis to sexually satisfy a woman (he does not) and if a woman who has had multiple sex partners will ultimately end up with a vagina that is too large for smaller penises to please her (a lie).
Science totally has my back on debunking both of those things (more on that in a bit). Know what else does? A particular type of sex method that is becoming more popular by the day. One that just might convince you to, as they used to say back in the day, focus less on the “size of the wave” and ride out the “motion of the ocean” instead.
It’s called shallowing. Here’s what it’s all about.
What Is Shallowing?
GiphyIf there’s one thing that I wish folks would say more thoroughly when it comes to women and orgasms, it’s that when it comes to75 percent of women not being able to orgasm from only intercourse, the accurate statement is they struggle with achieving a vaginal orgasm without the assistance of some type of clitoral stimulation. Yeah, we’ve really got to remember that very few things in this life are a complete monolith — orgasms included (check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”).
In fact, it was while I was reading up on pairing — a word that is used for when clitoral stimulation transpires during penetration — that I decided to do some deep-diving into shallowing (because it was mentioned inone of the articles that I read).And what is it? Shallowing is when a penis, finger, tongue, or sex toy of some sort is used in order to ever so slightly penetrate the vaginal opening of a woman.
And why is shallowing not just a current sex trend but something that every woman on this planet should try? It’s because of what I’ve said, more than once, on this platform: it focuses on the most sensitive part of a woman’s vagina, which isthe first two inches of her vaginal opening.
When the emphasis is placed there, not only does it increase your chances of experiencing “the big O,” but it can also build up anticipation, which can intensify your orgasms too — yes, shallowing can also be seen as a form of edging.
Another thing that’s cool about shallowing is — and it really and truly can’t be said enough — something that makes vaginal and blended orgasms easier to achieve for some women really has little to do with the size of a man’s package or even his technique; it’s straight up anatomy. Yep, the closer that a woman’s clitoris is to her vaginal opening, the easier it is for a penis to stimulate both. So, science makes it possible for vaginal orgasms to be easier for some women than others.
At the same time, shallowing can make it possible for more women who want to see what a vaginal orgasm actually feels like (because it’s easier for the head of the penis to stimulate the opening of the vagina while the shaft can rub up against your clitoris; based on the position that you are in, of course — the missionary with some pillows propped under the lower part of your back is ideal for this).
Now that you see what shallowing actually is, do you get why I said that penis size doesn’t matter when it comes to doing it — and getting the kind of orgasms that you want? Contrary to popular belief, your vagina is only around four inches. In fact, some health experts say that it ranges between 2-4”. Anything larger, your body literally has to stretch out to accommodate; this includes penises and babies. So, if your vagina is “making room” for more than four inches, why in the world do you think you need a 10-inch man? Yeah…exactly. It really is time to get over the silliness. The average penis continues to be 5.5”. Makes sense when you take it all in (no pun intended).
Aight, so now that you know what shallowing is all about, let me try and hard sell you on why it’s a sex technique that you should try as soon as tonight (if you possibly can).
1. It takes the pressure off of you and your partner.
I’ve been working with couples for almost 20 years at this point. This means that the topic of sex comes up quite a bit. And if there’s one thing that continues to be an issue is inconsistent orgasms (check out “Why Do Orgasms So Often Seem Like A ‘Hit-Or-Miss’ Experience For Women?”).
Listen, no matter how many articles you read or sex positions you try, if you’re anxious, stressed out, or overthinking, it’s gonna get in the way of you experiencing high peaks of pleasure on a consistent basis. Since shallowing is something that can easily be done even in foreplay (via fingering and/ororal sex) if you get that first “release” off, that makes it easier to just sit back and enjoy the ones that (hopefully) are to follow.
2. It teaches you more about your vagina.
A part of the reason why I keep repeating certain facts about vaginas in these articles is that it’s amazing how little certain things are discussed en masse — like the size of the vaginal tube. And since shallowing helps you to stimulate the nerve endings at the entrance of your va-jay-jay along with your G-spot (which is housed a little ways from your opening), shallowing is a great way to explore that area of your body as you figure out what truly works for you and…what doesn’t.
3. It’s the perfect merging of foreplay and intercourse.
When you really stop to think about it, shallowing is like the bridge between foreplay and intercourse because you can use so many different things to do it. So, if you want to experiment with a new sex toy or you want a bit more time to “warm up the engine” before full-on penetration begins, shallowing is one of the most sexually arousing compromises there is.
4. It can help to increase your partner’s stamina.
A few years back, I penned an article for the site entitled, “We’ve Got Some All-Natural Ways To Increase Stamina & Sensitivity.” Listen, even though I onceread a GQ article that said that over 60 percent of the people they polled were fine with intercourse lasting no longer than 5-10 minutes — that poll doesn’t speak for all of us, chile.
So, if you would like your man to build up to going longer, shallowing can help to make that happen. Since he’s barely putting beyond the tip in, he can learn how to be in you for longer periods of time without being, well, in you.
5. It helps you to appreciate whatever “package” he has.
Again — and it really can’t be said enough — if shallowing is all about exploring the mere entrance of your vagina, you don’t need a man with BDE (check out “BDE: Please Let The 'It Needs To Be Huge' Myth Go”) or honestly, even anything close to it.
I mean, even though, reportedly, the size that the average woman says gives her the most orgasms is eight inches — I bet those women have never really tried shallowing before. 10”, 8”, or the average 5.5” can certainly get the job done. And well.
6. It feels A-MAZ-ING.
Okay,so now that you know about shallowing, I promise that if you put the word into your favorite search engine, you’re either gonna see articles on golfing (LOL) or sex, especially as of late. That’s because more couples are trying it out and getting mind-blowing results from it. So, if you’re looking for something new to try, give shallowing a shot.
Hey, anything that’s designed to stimulate your most intense vaginal nerve endings has got to be something for the record books. I mean, how could it not be? Lawd.
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Featured image by Juan Moyano/Getty Images