"So Many People Die Pretending": 5 Powerful Lessons From Patti Labelle's Breakfast Club Interview
For those of you who have been living under a rock, Patti Labelle's pies have garnered her a new wave of attention outside of her timeless music and impressive résumé, so much so that she's on a press run and all because in the words of Patti: "I am blessed to have pies that you can’t buy! I’ve sold a lot of pies and I’m still selling as we sit!" Bloop!
Recently the iconic soul singer stopped by The Breakfast Club, but it wasn't a decadent sweet potato pie she had in tow on the morning show. Instead, the 71-year-old diva extraordinaire offered up a slice of humble pie as well as advice on life that was worth biting into. Along with avoiding ever getting caught looking dusty, the Grammy-winning singer and actress opened up about the role humility has played in her 50 years of success and relevancy, as well as the importance of keeping it as "real" as one does glamourous.
Feel free to indulge in some food for thought, courtesy of Chef Labelle, below.
1. She Measures Success on a Different Scale After Losing All Her Sisters Before their 44th Birthdays
"I’m blessed to still be here and that pie is just the icing on the cake!
I’ve been blessed with so many [immeasurable] things. With my kids, with my little family that is left, it’s a blessing for me to say, ‘Well Patti, continue to live better, so you can make it longer than your sisters.’ All three of my sisters died before they turned 44 from some form of cancer. And my mother died of diabetes. Which I am, I am a diabetic. I have diabetes, but diabetes does not have me. So I’ve been beating this!"
2. She's Very Honest About Having Older Women Problems
"I've been menopausal for 20 years. Flashing like crazy right now. I don’t take anything [for menopause]. I flash like real women. And I get on stage and I have two electric fans on both sides of the piano... and I ask the audience, 'Any woman in the audience going through menopause?'
Hot flashes, they go from your body to your skull and sometimes I have to move this wig aside (shifts wig). This is a wig, everybody knows this is a wig— because sweat comes from all over your scalp, all over your ears, all over your body. The menopause makes me sweat."
3. She Feels the Need to Always Look Clean-- “You’ll never catch me looking a mess!”
"I’m never not looking good.
No, I’m serious. I wake up with my face, and then I put on whatever hair I want, and then I touch up my lip. I don’t always do a full face of make up but when Patti gets up, I make sure I’m clean. See right now, you see these pumps?
You will never catch me at the supermarket looking [a mess]. Like I don’t wear jogging suits. I love to dress and I love to look good for the people who see me in the stores, they always say, 'Miss Patti looked like she was going to a show!’ Not out in the public, but at home [I relax]. I'm just Patti, I'm just doing Patti!"
4. Even More Important, She Feels an Obligation to Keep it Real
Patti: "Listen, I’m not living afraid of people and the public. I’m a very open lady to the world and that might be my downfall one day, I don’t know… why pretend?
"So many people die pretending. They live their life and then they die. How did they live their life? As pretenders. As wannabes."
Charlamagne Tha God: "Can you tell that to the Instagram era right now?"
Patti: "What? I have a flip top phone boo boo that was $15. That Instargam stuff- I don’t know nothing about that."
Charlamagne Tha God: "There are a lot of pretenders on Instagram."
Patti: "See I don’t know, because I don’t do it!"
5. Being Humble is the “Secret” Ingredient to Having a Successful Career
"I am humble to a fault. I am very humble. And very giving. And very forgiving. *sighs* I'm very nice.
You gotta keep your feet on the ground and know that you’re not the last piece of cake on the table. Most entertainers have this idea that they are so big because they’ve been hyped up most of their career. And they have this “top-page” in their head. I’ve never got to the “top” in my mind, so I’m still a very laid back humble lady thanks to my mother and father. And in this industry, when I see someone that is “swollen,” (full of themselves) I walk away. And if you saw me, and I was swollen, call the cops. Because that’s not Patti. I’m humble. That’s a replica!
I put people first. Like today, people were afraid to come up to be for pictures. So I said to them 'Would you like to take a picture with me?'
I'll ask you if you want to take a picture because I believe some people will not take advantage of asking a celebrity for a picture first. A celebrity? What is that? And who made them? The public! But I am that other girl!"
Bonus: She Randomly loves Fetty Wap!
"Fetty wap? I love that boy! With the one eye? I love him. He’s gangsta! I love his look. I’d do a [track] in a heart beat! There is no problem with doing something with him!"
Well, Fetty Wap did say "I be in the kitchen cooking pies with my baby!" "Trap Queen" remix featuring Patti? Now that'll be the day!
Loved the things Patti had to say in her interview, especial the parts on humility and measuring success on an immeasurable scale of life and good health. You go Ms. Labelle!
Watch the full interview on the next page!
A modest goddess who keeps it humble between mumbles. I'm a journalism graduate with a HERstory in digital media, print and radio. Roll the credits: Power 96, VH1, xoNecole, EBONY, SOHH. Deemed "Top 20 Women in Media" by Power 105. Bronx made me, Broward raised me.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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7 Black Men On TikTok Making Everyday Living Look ThirstTrappy
You know how many of us, ladies, keep wondering why men don’t have the same sexy, handsome looks of yesteryear? That look from the ‘60s to the ‘90s? I FOUND THEM. And guess what? They’re doing what “real” men do best…simply making themselves handy (and not just in the traditional, gendered sense of the word). These fellas make it easy to fantasize about the reality that there are still good men out there – men who come into the lives of women and make it easier and softer by contributing every day but meaningful ways.
No, I don’t know them in real life because I found them via TikTok, but that’s the fun of fantasizing. You get to take one piece of the pie and make up the rest of it as you go alone. It’s like a game of MASH–choose your fighter and then go from there.
When I was watching their videos, I was totally unaware that my libido had been laying so low OR how attractive a useful man was until I tuned in to these guys (it started with Cam, and you’ll see why shortly). And I don’t mean to make it sound like men are only as good as what they can do for you, but I think it’s safe to say that far too many men are weaponizing their incompetence and enjoy being cared for but aren’t as quick to pour back into the women keeping their day-to-day afloat. Not even in minimal ways.
That said, these men seem to be a breath of fresh air on a sunshiny day. And, allow me to be wholesome and candid for a minute but they made me optimistic that there is hope for us after all. That we can find husbands and fathers who allow us to exist in this world with less harm and hope.
And, on a less wholesome note… never mind. I choose to keep it cute, but you’ll soon know exactly why this feels like a helluva task in just a moment. The other refreshing thing about many of these videos is the ASMR vibes – very cathartic to watch; really brings a sense of peace and calm over you. And, not to gas it, but if watching a man in action in that way via TikTok does that, JUST imagine what having the real thing would be like. My God.
Here are seven Black men on TikTok making everyday living look thirstrappy AF.
Cam
@renaissancecam subsist ⚙️ #vlog #dailyvlog #sundayvlog #peace #adayinthelife #gardening #handyman #rotties #bbq #pitmaster #juicing #health #healthy #fruit #fyp #explore #foryou #viral #menshealth #farming #country #outdoors #dogs #landscaping #food #vibes
Not only does Cam (28 and single) understand the assignment when it comes to carefully selecting Sunday’s cleaning playlist but he also was handcrafted by God himself, giving us #TradMan in only the best ways possible. Based on my lurking/Inspector Gadget deep dive through his content, he chops wood, gardens, fishes, and cooks–it’s no mistake that his handle is Renaissance Cam. And, ladies, I was able to get a few other little details about him because we all know curiosity kills the cat. No need to stay curious when we can just know. Yes, he’s single. He’s a Leo. And his ideal first date is a picnic at his favorite sunset island near one of the spots where he likes to fish.
Derwynn
@lifeofdwho Look how dirty my washing machine was 🤢🤮 . . #sundayreset #sundayroutine #cleaninghacks #cleaningmotivation #homefragrance #fyp #explorepage
Next up is Derwynn, who is more of a modern man. His content centers on his Sunday resets which entail deep cleaning his home–and, if you know, you know–Black household law is that this type of cleaning must occur on Sundays. And, man, ol’ man, does he make cleaning look good. It’s no wonder more men don’t do this willingly. Most have speculated that he’s a Virgo, but he’s actually a Cancer (but maybe he has other Virgo placements throughout?)
Deon
@chakmahtheking Brcome someone you woukd be proud of‼️ Don’t settle, you’re a KING! Follw me on IG @chakmahtheking #fyp #diy #motivation #jackofalltrades #king
Mister DIY himself, in living color! Admittedly, I did have to mute that Rocky music, but all the fix-it action 100 percent makes up for that. I don’t know him, but it’s giving “my man, my man, my man” type of delusion the minute I saw him handle that power tool (like my little pun). Unlike the first two, Deon isn’t quite as subtle in his understanding that he is indeed a prize (not to be confused with thee prize, y’all). But, he is, in fact, a man that adds value in many ways. And, this is what we mean when we say bring back these men – the good with their hands, easy on the eyes type men – and we’ll bust out the apron and the table settings.
Oklahoma Cowboys
@oklahomacowboys0 🤠 #oklahomacowboys #rodeo #blackcowboys #fyp #explorepage #cowboy #blacktiktok #fypシ #losangeles #countryboy #billpickettrodeo #race
When Destiny’s Child said, “they always be talkin’ that country slang,” I imagine these are the type of men they had in mind. Cause the video alone gone bring out my Southern ancestors in my spirit, and I was born and raised in Michigan. Babbbby, this is a retro type of man, and I’m here for it. It’s also a personal belief of mine that it speaks volumes about a man’s ability to nurture in the way that they care for animals and, in turn, the way animals respond to them. What’s that they say about animals and children being the best judges of character? Unfortunately, we don’t have a name for this cowboy, but fortunately, this page is action-packed with other cowboys.
John Doe
@atvmvp #honda #hondaaccord #carsoftiktok #cars #bodywork #painting #spraypaint #restoration #accidentrepair #southcarolina #blackmen #cartok #cartiktok #7thgenaccord #blackentrepreneur #blackdudes #budgetfriendly #voiceover #countryboy
While it’s always safest to have a bald-headed daddy to handle all your car issues, it definitely doesn’t hurt to have a car-fixing zaddy on call, too. Well, here you go! Out in the garage, in the hoop shorts and the slides – now him coming inside smelling like outside, car parts, and fading cologne. We also stan a frugal, problem-solving king! Peep how he purchased a used car and a five-dollar can of spray paint and got to work. The definition of getting it out the mud, if you ask me.
Stephen
@styleunrivaled #fyp #trending #viral #atx #car #ignitioncoil
Impressive, I must say. This gentleman, Stephen, walks us through replacing his ignition coils, but he also makes himself useful in other ways. That’s word to his other TikTok, where he offers the young fellas who want to argue about why women aren’t submissive instead of giving them something worth submitting to advice.
Lee
@leeshomeimprovement Deck for the chicken coop #fyp #foryou #dmv #blacktiktok #watchthis #explore #HousestoHomes #HomeImprovement #BuildingstoCompanies #blackmenbuilds #building #constructing #StayFocused #menwithdreads #follow #share #baltimore #HGTV
While this video doesn’t quite show Lee’s face, it does show his craftsmanship. I mean, it looks secure enough–I don’t know too much about building decks, but I do know this looks about right.. As for the rest, I scoped out the facecard on his other videos, and he is worthy of this list.
These men were difficult to come by, and I’m not sure if it has to do with the ratio of podcast mics to rakes/power drills/etc. Or because they’re simply not documenting themselves. But you should know that we’re looking for some more of these men folk to lust after while they check off the one honey-do list item within their reach through the internet … the one with my Rosé. Send more over! Tag them. I might even start a Make Men Great Again campaign on behalf of these brothas.
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Feature image by @renaissancecam/ Instagram, @steviie_j/ Instagram, @derwynnwho/ Instagram