The Cost Of Asking: What Happens When Women Negotiate? | xoNECOLE
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The Cost Of Asking: What Happens When Women Negotiate?

Comments (5)
  1. Qbee says:

    I just had this problem. Not to play the race card but i feel its especially harder for black females. Had a friend get a job at a company and she later referred me. The hiring manager offered her 2k more than me even though we have the same skill set and I have more education. I studied/practiced all night things to say to negotiate yet the hiring manager would not budge on her offer. Everyone says I should feel grateful for the new opportunity but I feel slighted. Any advice on how to combat this?

  2. Toya Sharee says:

    Hi QBee. Unfortunately, the race card could be a possibility and this is where it helps to try to get a good read on people’s personality. Do you think you could talk to the hiring manager directly but professionally about the decision? If the race card is an issue, it might not be a place you want to be for long. I know this was a fear for me because of my “ethnic” name so I started using initials on my resumes, which is unfortunate but real. Good luck!

  3. Lisette says:

    Great, timely article. I recently felt my first burn of “you are a woman, so we’re paying you less” when in July I was offered a fabulous position with one of Forbes’ top 100 companies to work for in America, and not long after, thought to refer a very close male friend of mine who I knew had been unhappy in his current job for years. He had never worked in this type of ‘Corporate America’ job before; in fact he had been with his previous employer for so long that he had never filled out a job application online- they were still paper when he last applied for a job. He had never given an interview where any question other than “tell me about yourself” had been asked of him, and he had no idea how to impress upon a hiring authority that despite his lack of experience in the field, he is a quick study and would be wonderful in the role. So, I taught him everything. I helped him complete online applications, questionnaires, pre interviews, and his resume. I literally taught him how to interview, coaching him through what would be asked, what his interviewer’s questions really mean, and how he should answer them. After all of this, my buddy got a job offer about a month ago. I was ecstatic for him, until in his glee, he read me the text of his offer letter including the salary offer- which was higher than mine. I have a background in the field into which we were hired. I have over ten years in a related field where the skills I acquired can be wildly beneficial in this role as well. My friend, by contrast, had spent his entire twenties making Frappuccino’s. I was very upset- first at my friend, for disclosing his pay to me. Then I realized he didn’t have a clue it was a taboo so I forgave him in my mind, and then I became angry at the employer and almost resentful of even trying to get my friend the job. I am more experienced, I have more pertinent education, I knew more about the background of the company, and I was even interviewed by a woman with almost 30 years tenure at the company- but I am a woman, my friend is a man, and I can’t think of any other reason why I was low balled. Both my friend and I are black, so I know it’s not my skin color that cause me to have a lesser salary offer, but it has mildly soured me on the company even though it’s such a wonderful opportunity and I had imagined myself working here until I hit retirement age in 32 years, because now I think that it will be that much harder for me to gain respect or equal footing, or ascend the ranks of the company from my current position when from jump street I know I am working against the fact that I have ovaries and not testicles. We women have to work ten times harder for a tenth of the recognition a man does, and don’t ever forget it.

  4. Dev says:

    This was such a great read. Im getting ready for a promotion and this was amazing insight on how I should enter this meeting.

  5. Terilisha says:

    Yes Really! I was with the company for almost 3 years… I was the top producer, never had an unexcused absence or was ever late… never received a raise. I asked to have a meeting with my supervisor and his supervisor to understand why and when I came in for the meeting they fired me… I was pissed at first but honestly I feel like God forced me to move … Although I didn’t like my team I actually liked my job but he didn’t want me to just have a “job” its all good tho because I am now able to focus on my career


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