How These High School Sweethearts Knew They Were Destined To Be Together
In xoNecole's Our First Year series, we take an in-depth look at love and relationships between couples with an emphasis on what their first year of marriage was like.
Imagine knowing your soulmate at the young age of 15 and 16 and then actually marrying them almost a decade later. Sounds like a fairytale, right? Well that is the reality for married couple Amir and Vava Celestin.
The co-creators of Nou Nou Home met, fell in love, and were living the perfect high school romance. He was an athlete, she was a dancer, and after an initial meeting in the halls of their high school, the two were inseparable. Valentine day teddy bears, dancing at his basketball games, and even ending their high school journey together at prom, Vava and Amir lived out the epitome of young love. But after a year and a half of dating, their high school romance sadly fizzled out and as senior year came to an end, so did their relationship.
As the two separately entered new phases of their lives, in completely different states, it was clear that the love they shared was real and they never did completely let each other go. "Although we were in different states, we always found a way to keep in touch, walk down memory lane or even attempt to rekindle our old flame from time to time," Vava revealed. "But things never stuck. The flame would always fizzle out. But, we always felt like our relationship was unfinished business. We repeated that cycle for seven years."
Seven years filled with never ending on and off dating cycles, Amir and Vava did eventually get it right, and chose to live the life they knew they were destined for. While those years apart were difficult, Amir now believes that they were necessary for the love and marriage they share today.
"The years we spent apart were good for us, individually," he said. "We got a chance to live life a little, make mistakes, have a few heartbreaks, and reckless nights ---but not at the expense of one another. Our time apart kept our love from being tainted with bad memories and heartache. By the time we reconnected we both were content and just wanted a genuine bond with a beautiful soul."
Nearly a decade after their initial meeting in that hallway, Amir and Vava wed in July of 2016, proving that there is truth to the old saying, "What is meant to be, will be." This is their story.
The One
Vava: At ages 15 and 16, we always talked about getting married, having kids, and living in a big house. Typical. It was just puppy-love. We were just wishfully thinking. We didn't give much thought to it. It's surreal to see how our love has unfolded. We are so insync. It's like we never separated. For years, no matter where we were or what our relationship status might have been, there was always this unspoken mutual understanding that we were unfinished business. To us, that's what makes our love story so humbling --- Like how? How did we get to pick our soulmate at such a young age? I guess we were really meant to be.
Amir: Her compassionate heart drove me to marry her. She has always seen so much in me and tries her best to bring it out of me. My wife is the only woman, besides my family, to care about my well-being.
She is my life partner.
The Best Part
Vava: I love his calming spirit and integrity. I admire that in him so much and look to him to bring me back to earth. I needed someone with his discipline and patience to complement my weaknesses.
Amir: I love her fiery spirit! It's what attracted me to her. She's a go-getter and a great one at that. That same fiery spirit annoys me sometimes (laughs). But, that's what makes her unique in my eyes.
Meet Me At The Altar
Vava: For me, it was a little before we started dating again. As God would have it, Amir randomly reached out to me for prayer. His mother was going to have heart surgery and he just needed a friend to lean on. I was still very close with them after all those years, so I prayed for his mother and family. Post-op, while his mother was in recovery, Amir and I went to visit her at the hospital. The family was happy to see us visiting together. Sitting in her hospital room, we all reminisced about the years Amir and I dated back in high school. After I left, his Aunt Deana told Amir, "Nephew, you don't want to miss your blessing twice." A few weeks later, we decided to end the seven-year cat-and-mouse-game. Well, more specifically, I did. I recall texting him late one night these exact words:
"You need to finish whatever you have going on because we all know how this is going to end. And it's time we start building our lives together."
His was response was, "Okay."
A few months later, we were engaged. That was pretty bold of me at the time. But I knew, the series of events that happened weren't by mistake. It was divine positioning.
Amir: The summer we got back together, I had that strong feeling. We were creating so many wonderful memories and just enjoying each other. I guess it was bubbling inside of me. But, what really took the cake was when I got a deal to play basketball overseas. She was the one who gave me the motivation and confidence I didn't see in myself. She propelled to manifest a childhood dream of mine. Something we had always talked about as kids.
You need someone who won't only pray for you, but get in the paint for us. That just confirmed she was the one.
Baggage Claim
Vava: I can be a firecracker (laughs). I grew up in a house full of boys, so sometimes my approach is too strong. For me, my strength is my identity. I had to learn to let my husband see my weakness and not always be on the defense. There's beauty in vulnerability.
Amir: [A challenge has been] expressing myself. Not sure if it's a guy thing or a me thing, but I really don't like opening up. To be honest, I'm still having a little trouble with that. Despite that, I intentionally work at getting better in that area because communication is important. It helps you overcome a lot.
It's necessary for a healthy and stable marriage.
Deepest Fears
Vava: I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to live up to the expectations of a wife. I was fearful of running out of "good wife" stars for not being perfect. I eventually realized that no one has it all figured out.
No one is perfect or fully-prepared before saying "I do." I just decided to trust the things I knew, and have faith in God for the unknown.
Amir: [I would wonder to myself], am I going be a great husband to her? She could've had anyone else in the world and she chose me. I had to realize that I'm not perfect and she still chose me to be her husband. For that simple reason, I shouldn't have anything to fear.
Putting Each Other First
Vava: I always felt like I made a lot of sacrifices for our marriage, especially while my husband played basketball overseas. When he returned home, I felt like it was his turn to have my back while I chased my dreams in New York. But, Amir was not comfortable with moving to NYC and preferred to stay in Miami. I thrive off of experiences and living life with impulse. Not jetting to New York City to live my best version of Carrie Bradshaw was daunting.
I constantly felt like I had lost the piece of me that I valued so much. My freedom.
I felt caged and unsuccessful in Miami, and at this point, I faulted my husband for that. It took months of arguing, not understanding each other's point of view, and frustration to finally come to a resolve. Last September, I had gotten an offer to help out with press for a few shows at New York Fashion Week. I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to show him my world. So I booked him a flight, too.
Amir coming to New York was so therapeutic for our marriage.
He was able to see me in my element and really understand why I was so adamant about moving to New York. Now moving to New York City is something we both want. He now understands how serious I am about my career, and how much I appreciate his support.
Mentors In Marriage
Vava: My mother is my confidant. She holds all my secrets. My mother-in-law is our go-to for unbiased and honest advice. She'll tell the both of us to get it together.
Amir: My mother. She keeps it very real. She doesn't take it easy on me because I'm her son (laughs).
First Year Love Lessons
Vava: Be humble, and listen to your partner. Never argue to be right. Focus on finding a resolution so you both can move past the disagreement. You don't always have to agree with them, but you must try to understand their point of view.
Amir: Communication and understanding will diffuse a lot of disagreements. You're going to have lots of disagreements but the key is to never go to bed angry.
*Featured image via Wilna M.
For more on Vava and Amir's love story follow them on Instagram @vavacharly and @amir_ashaude or on their joint account @nounou.home.
Ashley McDonough is a writer and producer in New York City. When she's not busy writing or producing culturally conscious content, she is patiently waiting for Oprah and Stedman to adopt her. Keep up with her journey via social @Ashley_Milani or check out her work on www.AshleyMcDonough.org.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
ItGirl 100: Get To Know Some Of The Most Inspiring And Empowering Women On Our List
The ItGirl 100 List, in partnership with Hyundai, is a celebration of 100 Black women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table.
We often see lists featuring amazing women who are seasoned in this thing called life, and our ItGirl 100 List gives flowers to the people they’ve passed the torch to: young millennial and Gen Z women who are innovating and disrupting in today’s world of advancement.
xoNecole has partnered with Hyundai for its inaugural ItGirl 100 List to give these women their flowers today. It’s a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who have built their own tables, launched new businesses, and redefined what it truly means to be blessed, booked, and busy.
Here’s a snapshot of fun facts from a few of the women listed on the ItGirl 100, representing the East, West, Midwest, and South:
EAST
Courtesy
DJ 9AM: DJ & Curator
Representing: Brooklyn
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "On My Mama" by Victoria Monét
Favorite OG It Girl: Nia Long
Zodiac Big Three: Cancer Sun, Taurus Moon, Pisces Rising
Favoring open-format, multi-genre mixes, this DJ has created a winning reputation for rocking a crowd with seamless transitions and selections, always representing Southwest musical and cultural influences.
Courtesy
Tiffany James, Founder, Modern BLK Girl
Representing:Brooklyn
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Lucky Girl" by Carlina
Favorite OG It Girl:Naomi Campbell
Zodiac Big Three: Sagittarius Sun, Leo Moon, Virgo Rising
Modern BLK Girl is one of the leading investment groups among women of color, and the founder serves as an avid investor, community builder, and advocate. Tiffany James is also a mentor, utilizing her unique combination of financial and fashion expertise.
Courtesy
Kat Mateo, Casting Director
Representing: New Jersey
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Princess Going Digital" by Amaarae
Favorite OG It Girl: Kelis, Eve, Lil Kim
Zodiac Big Three: Aries Sun, Cancer Moon, Cancer Rising
Thriving as a casting director and stylist, Kat Mateo offers a unique point of view that has shaped New York Fashion Week shows, ad campaigns, and editorials. She has also been a major contributor to cultural conversations related to fashion and inclusivity.
Courtesy
Denise Stephanie Hewitt, Photographer
Representing: Brooklyn
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Experience" by Victoria Monét
Favorite OG It Girl: Hannah Montana
Zodiac Big Three: Taurus Sun, Aquarius Moon, Aquarius Rising
This Gordon Parks Foundation scholar is a full-time student who has been working to expand her freelance career in photography. Denise is also been featured among Essence'sinaugural list of "Top 10 Creators Under 30," for her unique aesthetics and perceptions through her art.
WEST
Courtesy
Nayamka Roberts-Smith, Aesthetician
Representing: Los Angeles
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Tomorrow 2" by GloRilla & Cardi B
Favorite OG It Girl: Meagan Good
Zodiac Big Three: Sagittarius Sun, Leo Moon, Capricorn Rising
Nayamka Roberts-Smith is an award-winning professional in the skincare industry and serves as an educator, offering knowledge on beauty culture. She also is a well-sought-after speaker on beauty and women’s issues, with a following of more than 1 million on social.
Courtesy
Desiree L. Talley, Esq., Vice President, Legal & Business Affairs, Revolt TV
Representing: Los Angeles
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Nice" by The Carters
Favorite OG It Girl: Issa Rae
Zodiac Big Three: Cancer Sun, Scorpio Moon, Cancer Rising
An attorney and storyteller, Desiree L. Talley meshes relatability with her legal smarts for the culture. She advocates for cultural advancement and societal change through her POPLAW Podcast while balancing her executive duties at Revolt TV.
Marley Rae
Courtesy
Marley Rae, Organizer, WalkGood
Representing: Los Angeles
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Nice For What" by Drake
Favorite OG It Girl: Mariah Carey
Zodiac Big Three: Capricorn Sun, Taurus Moon, Leo Rising
Marley Rae is a Nike Athlete, certified yoga instructor, COO, and Director of Health and Wellness for WalkGood LA, a family-founded non-profit organization. She is dedicated to fostering understanding and care in local and global communities.
MIDWEST
Courtesy
Shawnee Dez
Representing: Chicago
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "FreeBody Freestyle" by Shawnee Dez
Favorite OG It Girl: Toni Morrison
Zodiac Big Three: Cancer Sun, Aquarius Moon, Cancer Rising
Shawnee Dez is an artist who's all about captivating her audience through encouragement and empowerment. Her music features fluid harmonic layering, live instrumentation fused with digital production, and her unique multi-talented voice in an alto melodic tone.
Courtesy
Bianca Pastel, Visual Artist
Representing: Chicago
Ultimate ItGirl Song: Anything by Whitney Houston
Favorite OG It Girl: Grace Jones
Zodiac Big Three: Taurus Sun, Leo Moon, Sagittarius Rising
Bianca Pastel's artistic portfolio includes fine art, illustrations, and animation, and she's worked with clients including Disney Pixar, and the NFL, to name a few. Her focus is "empowering the experience of being a Black child and dealing with mental health issues."
Courtesy
Donyale Walton, Founder, Hoop Mobb
Representing: Detroit
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Yeah I Said It" by Rihanna
Favorite OG It Girl: Aaliyah
Zodiac Big Three: Virgo Sun, Libra Moon, Capricorn Rising
Donyale Walton's brand Hoop Mobb, celebrates the Black and Brown fashion and cultural impact and presence of hoop earrings. It's grown to earn more than seven figures in annual revenue and a nationwide community of loyal consumers.
Courtesy
Ticara Devone, Content Creator
Representing: Chicago
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "She's a Bitch" by Missy Elliott
Favorite OG It Girl: Ananda Lewis
The Zodiac Big Three: Libra Sun, Taurus Moon, Virgo Rising
A trusted sneaker enthusiast and content creator, Ticara Devone uses dynamic storytelling to hold space for others with a passion for sneakers. A published writer, she’s worked with brands including Nike and Footlocker and inspires us all by ensuring women are vocal and seen in the multi-billion dollar shoe space.
SOUTH
Courtesy
AllyiahsFace, Content Creator
Representing: Atlanta
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Go Off" Doja Cat
Favorite OG It Girl: Gabrielle Union and Halle Berry
Zodiac Big Three: Gemini Sun, Leo Moon, Scorpio Rising
AllyiahsFace's YouTube channel has more than 830,000 subscribers, and she's been hitting the ground running since 2015. Her content creation, which centers on beauty, fashion, and lifestyle, has led to a lucrative career and drawn a close-knit social and real-life community to view and be inspired.
Courtesy
Jaycina, Executive Director, Tender
Representing: Atlanta
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "All I Got" by Amel Larrieux
Favorite OG It Girl:Tracee Ellis Ross
Zodiac Big Three: Leo Sun, Sagittarius Moon, Sagittarius Rising
Jaycina is a signed model with a nonprofit that works to provide support and community for single mothers in Atlanta. She's also appeared in campaigns for brands including Fenty and GAP as well as features in all your favorite magazines and on billboards across the country.
Courtesy
Asha Christian, Founder, Coily App
Representing: Atlanta
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "It's My Life" by Mariah Carey
Favorite OG It Girl: Toni Childs (Girlfriends)
Zodiac Big Three: Sagittarius Sun, Leo Moon, Leo Rising
Asha Christian created Coily to provide beauty recommendations utilizing social data. It offers a more personalized, AI-driven experience for users and part of her mission is to provide solutions related to diversity and put the focus back on the consumer. Meshing tech and culture, Christian is innovating with options that exemplify the Black girl magic needed in tech.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by FG Trade/Getty