Oral Fixation: 6 Ladies Share Their Best Oral Sex Tips & Tricks
There's power in knowing how to properly blow. I might be on my knees, looking up at him, locking eyes as my mouth forms a perfect “o", but my act of submission is anything but. I am absolutely in control. His lips are parted, brows furrowed, eyes rolled back, as he creeps to that orgasm he loves for me to taunt him with. There's my power. He's so wrapped around my finger, just like my lips and tongue are wrapped around him.
Tapping into that power has fueled my desires to learn more. Don't get me wrong, we should always care about meeting our partner's needs, but who says we can't seek knowledge for our own pleasure-seeking enjoyment too? I spoke to some ladies about their most coveted and revered blowjob tips and tricks. Below are some of the pearls their wisdom left me with. Pun intended.
The Better the Build Up, The Better the Climax
“I like to build things up when I am performing oral. I start with the tip and suck on it a little. Then I might tap his wet tip against my breast a few times. Then I'll lick him from base to tip over and over. The shaft needs love too! (laughs) And he loves it. Then I'll take him in. The important thing is to not give it all up to him at once." – Nadia
Look Ma, No Hands
“My man is pretty… endowed (laughs) so he is much more than a mouthful. I used to think hands weren't needed during blowjob because it was a blowjob not a handjob, but it's actually really helpful in giving my mouth a break and helping vary my movements. I use my mouth and hand together. I firmly hold it around his base and use plenty of spit while I slick him up. I also move my hand up and down him in a twisting motion while I suck on the tip. You should feel the way he tenses up when I do that. Look at the flick of the, flick of the wrist (laughs)!" – Val
Gag-Worthy
“Choking is fun, choking is sexy. I use my gag reflex to help make things sloppier when I'm giving him head. I gather that spit in my mouth and spit it on him and give him a little hand job to give my mouth a break. I think my preferred version is when he throat f***s me and makes me gag that way. I love the way my eyes tear up and my makeup smears. Bonus points if he gathers my spit with his hand to lube up his dick for me. TMI as hell (laughs), but it's a turn on for both of us." – Toya
Provide Lip Service to Other Areas
“Switch things up man. You can't do in and out the whole time. Take a break from the D and explore other parts of him. Tell him you want to watch how he does it (masturbate) while you take his balls into your mouth one at a time. I lick on them, at the skin in between each of them, I write his name (laughs). I go a little lower and kiss his inner thighs. That sharp inhale he does is what I live for, I swear!" – Brittany
In Too Deep
“I had to train myself girl, no lie, I had to train myself. I know some women who use throat spray to numb their throats so they can deep throat without any problems, but for me, I just used practice. Tips? Relax your throat and push down until you feel that gagging sensation. Moan so that you loosen up those muscles even more. Breathe through your nostrils and don't eat anything heavy beforehand, you don't need no problems! If he feels the back of your throat, he'll be happy (laughs) so don't feel pressured to take the whole 9, literally (laughs)." – KC
What's Your Flavor?
“Sometimes the fact that it's just flesh makes oral kinda bland to me. Like for men, they can enjoy themselves with our taste, you know? But we're just kinda enjoying our spit (laughs). I've had guys who have had really present pre-cum which made things interesting, but for the most part, I've found, it can taste a little unexciting down there. I think guys can feel when you're passionate and I'm most passionate when I'm loving it too so I like to use flavored lubricant or other edibles. Wrap it up afterwards though of course, we don't need no yeasty problems ladies!" – April
Run Him Dry
“When you feel like he's about to come, you have to suck the life force out of his body with your mouth. (laughs) I can't say it any other way. When he says 'I'm about to come', up the rhythm of your mouth and hand with each stroke. Be prepared for him to grind against you and meet your strokes and push through it. You can decide on if you spit or swallow. I prefer to swallow, but if you must spit, I say just have him come somewhere else. I know we're talking about a provocative subject matter, but that option just seems much more tasteful to me, don't you think?" – Brittany
Do you love going down on your man? What are some of your tried and true methods of turning him on? Share your wisdom with us below!
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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How A Stay At Switzerland's Luxurious 7132 Hotel Reminded Me To Live The Life I Deserve
Sometimes, as women—especially as single Black women—we simply need to be reminded that we are deserving of living a life we dream of. Even if that means creating it for ourselves. I recently set out on a weeklong trip to Switzerland, a trip I’ve been wanting to take for years, and near the end of my visit, I had an epiphany.
“DeAnna, this is the life you deserve,” I thought to myself as I took in the gorgeous bathroom in my suite at the famous 7132 Hotel and Thermal Spa. It was one of the most luxurious hotels (and bathrooms) I had ever stayed in—and that’s saying a lot for someone who often travels for work.
To help you better understand why this was such a mental awakening for me, I first need to give a bit of my backstory. I’m in my late thirties. I’m an attorneyand a journalist. I own a home and have traveled the world extensively. Essentially, I’ve done everything in life I set out to do. However, when it comes to dating, I struggle. Not because there is anything wrong with me per se, but because my career and “lifestyle” often create problems in my romantic relationships.
View from my hotel room
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I’ve been told everything from, ‘I can’t continue to date you because you seem to choose your career over wanting to settle down and have kids’ by a man after only the second date to ‘Maybe if you just sat down somewhere for a while, I’d actually wife you’ by someone who has honestly never proven themselves to be the settle down type. And these are only a handful of the things I’ve been told over the years.
It’s been frustrating, to say the least, and there have even been seasons where I purposely dimmed my light in hopes that my career wouldn’t push away potential suitors. I know what you’re thinking, “Girl, why would you even consider that? If they’re for you, it won’t matter what you do.” Hey, don’t judge me, but also, I one hundred percent agree.
My hotel bathroom
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That’s why this recent moment in Switzerland was right on time. When I first walked into the hotel to check in, I was blown away by the surrounding beauty. It was a five-star property with one of the world’s most famous thermal bathhouses. Yet, it was something about seeing that 90% of the hotel’s guests were couples, that forced me to sit back for a bit of introspection—while soaking in the thermal spa, of course.
As I went through the mental conversation, there was a battle of sorts. On one hand, I knew that being able to partake in experiences like the one I was having at that moment was important to me. I knew that, at times I actually love being able to dabble in the finer things—after all, I’ve worked hard to be able to afford them. On the other hand, and sadly, I knew that sometimes being a single Black woman that publicly showcases her “luxurious” habits can intimidate men and even scare them off from pursuing you under the guise of them feeling like they “can’t do anything for you, because you have everything.”
My hotel room
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So, what is a girl to do?
Do I minimize/hide the life and experiences that I have? Do I play down the hard work I’ve put in to get where I am professionally? Or, do I risk being single in exchange for being able to have said life, without backlash?
Luckily, the joy that I felt while being at this property won. There was something about taking a full day to simply pamper myself at the bathhouse and in my in-room steam shower and soaker tub, indulging in cuisine from a 2-star Michelin restaurant and doing all of this while surrounded by an amazing group of Black women that reminded me—this is certainly the life I was meant to live and that I deserve. Even if it means that right now, I’ll just have to provide it for myself until the right partner comes along. And honestly, I’m okay with that.
Restaurant at 7132 hotel
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