Nia Long On The Importance Of Finding Love: "You're Not Going To Want To Walk Alone"
Nia Long has been serving aging-like-fine-wine goals for women for over two decades as we watched the actress grace the big screen in some of our favorite movies.
But off-screen, her love life remained a mystery until she began dating Ime Udoka, a former assistant coach of the San Antonio Spurs. Last year, the 44-year-old actress got engaged to Ime, while putting a stamp on the career-life balance most women desire.
This will be Nia's first marriage, after being in no rush to walk down the aisle before. As a matter of fact, back in 2013 during the promo for The Best Man Holiday, the mother-of-two opened up about the pressures career women of a certain age have placed on themselves to get hitched, as well as the burden of guilt those same ladies often carry when wondering whether or not they chose career over family:
"I think that women who are extremely driven to success, ambitious, I think they get to a point in their lives where they're like, 'Uh oh. I am 30-something years old, and I don't have a husband and I don't have children yet and what does that mean?' I think what it means is stay in your course because it's going to happen when it's supposed to happen. "It doesn't happen for everyone at the same time, so you can't compare your life to someone else's."
And although Nia encouraged the act of "doing you" while your love life falls into place, the star also made sure to point out the importance of being aware of love, and not pushing a potentially good thing away either:
"You have to have an open heart to be vulnerable to accept it when it does come. I think the more success you have as a woman, you kinda go, 'Well, I don't really need a man 'cause look: I have everything I want,' but the truth is you do need a partner because at some point in your life you're not going to want to walk alone."
[Tweet "You have to have an open heart to be vulnerable and accept love when it does come"]
That's certainly a refreshing way to see things. Career women are often praised for their ability to run successful business or climb the career ladder, but are hardly praised for their ability to remain focused during the time it took to reach a certain level of success. Sometimes that focus might include sacrifices and placing a few things on hold (i.e: holding off on starting a family until later). Quite often when a 30-plus woman is accomplished yet still single, people will use the very thing they praised her for, against her- which was her drive to ensure success and a safety net for herself.
A top-ranking male CEO of a fortune-500 company in his 40's might be regarded as one of the "youngest in his position," plus no one says a word if he hasn't married yet. But if it were a woman, although she'd get applauded on the work tip, she'd be pretty much written off as ancient for all else. We guess that's where the perception of having a "biological clock" that's ticking sets in.
Nia's engagement and her optimism is definitely hope for the new modern, working woman who is here for the dollars and the diamond (ring, that is- aka love!)
Patience truly is a virtue!
Congrats to Nia!
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Myha’la Herrold Talks Embracing Her Unique Smile And The Advice She Would Give Her 'Industry' Character
Myha’la Herrold is all for people celebrating their uniqueness. Growing up, Myha’la encountered numerous situations that forced her to embrace her differences regardless of what others thought about them. Her smile, for example, is a feature she takes pride in. However, family members and dentists alike have tried to get her to change it.
The Industry star has two peg lateral teeth, which are small, pointy teeth that are located on each side of the upper front teeth. While there may be some people who don’t understand her decision to keep her natural smile, Colgate recognizes its beauty and has partnered with the 28-year-old. Myha’la opens up about the exciting partnership in a xoNecole exclusive.
“So, it was actually quite funny this came through for me, and I was like, Huh? Okay, And they were like, well, they're doing this new campaign. It's all about celebrating your unique smile. And I was like, how did they know?” She laughs.
Myha’la Herrold
Courtesy
“I have two peg lateral teeth. They're these tiny little teeth in the front. They're my adult teeth, but they're small. They're like, you know, an abnormal tooth, and lots of people have them and sometimes they're asymmetrical. A lot of people get them capped or filled or whatever. And so many times throughout my life, like people I did not know, dentists would approach me like randomly and hand me their card and be like, 'Whenever you're ready.' I was like, ain’t no way…I was like, ain't nothing wrong with my teeth. Nothing is wrong with my smile.”
She calls her Colgate partnership a “perfect pairing” and stresses how important it is for her to always look like herself and take care of her teeth. The Leave the World Behind actress is one of the many people in her generation leading the charge for self-love and advocating for themselves. Thanks to millennials and Gen Z, we are now having more conversations about mental health and self-care while challenging the status quo.
"So many times throughout my life, like people I did not know, dentists would approach me like randomly and hand me their card and be like, 'Whenever you're ready.' I was like, ain’t no way…I was like, ain't nothing wrong with my teeth. Nothing is wrong with my smile."
Myha’la Herrold
Courtesy
Myha’la explains why it’s necessary to appreciate our differences rather than give in to society’s standards of what is considered beautiful. “I'm so here for it. I'm so here for it because I said this earlier, but it was something I was thinking about that I was like, oh this is kind of a lightbulb moment for me. I feel like we are so desperate to feel accepted and like a part of something, and that translates into how we present ourselves to the world,” she says.
“So people are like, oh, I want to have really white teeth or really uniform teeth or whatever so that I can look like everyone else. But us as human beings... all of us are completely different, like down to a biological level. So really, the things that like makes us a part of a whole is our uniqueness. The fact that we are different is like what makes us human beings, and I feel like that's actually quite comforting. I can feel a part of something bigger than me because I understand that all of us are uniquely perfectly, uniquely different, and that's what makes us who we are.”
Another positive Myha’la shares about being unique (cues Beyoncé) is saving money because, according to her, “I'm not trying to spend all this money so that I can look like somebody else because the thing that people love the most about me is me.”
"The fact that we are different is like what makes us human beings, and I feel like that's actually quite comforting. I can feel a part of something bigger than me because I understand that all of us are uniquely perfectly, uniquely different, and that's what makes us who we are."
Myha'la Herrold attends the UK Special screening of 'Leave The World Behind.'
Dave Benett/WireImage
Myha’la’s confidence is also reflected in her work as an actress. Currently, she stars as Harper Stern in the HBO Max series Industry, which is about a group of recent graduates competing for coveted permanent roles at an esteemed investment bank in London. Harper is intelligent, tenacious, and the one to watch. However, her hunger to be successful keeps her on the outs with her peers, and her family trauma keeps her very guarded.
The rising star has this to say about her Industry character. “I would just remind her, like, remember what got you here,” she says. “You were unabashedly yourself. You let these people know that you were the best and the brightest and what you had to offer, that they needed that, so I would just say remember that. Do that ‘cause it worked the first time.”
Whether you love her or hate her, Harper is a force, but unfortunately, in the season two finale, her ambition left her in a predicament that has put her career in a place of uncertainty. While Myha’la can’t give away season three’s plot, she does share what she hopes for her character.
“What I will say is I hope that Harper gets what she wants. I hope she gets what she wants. I'm always rooting for her,” she says.
“I feel like Harper is my good sis, and I'm like, girl, if you would just listen to me one time, things might go different for you. But what I hope is that she gets what she wants because I feel like it's like past due. We need a win for her.”
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Featured image by Irvin Rivera/Getty Images for IMDb