Nia Long On The Importance Of Finding Love: "You're Not Going To Want To Walk Alone"
Nia Long has been serving aging-like-fine-wine goals for women for over two decades as we watched the actress grace the big screen in some of our favorite movies.
But off-screen, her love life remained a mystery until she began dating Ime Udoka, a former assistant coach of the San Antonio Spurs. Last year, the 44-year-old actress got engaged to Ime, while putting a stamp on the career-life balance most women desire.
This will be Nia's first marriage, after being in no rush to walk down the aisle before. As a matter of fact, back in 2013 during the promo for The Best Man Holiday, the mother-of-two opened up about the pressures career women of a certain age have placed on themselves to get hitched, as well as the burden of guilt those same ladies often carry when wondering whether or not they chose career over family:
"I think that women who are extremely driven to success, ambitious, I think they get to a point in their lives where they're like, 'Uh oh. I am 30-something years old, and I don't have a husband and I don't have children yet and what does that mean?' I think what it means is stay in your course because it's going to happen when it's supposed to happen. "It doesn't happen for everyone at the same time, so you can't compare your life to someone else's."
And although Nia encouraged the act of "doing you" while your love life falls into place, the star also made sure to point out the importance of being aware of love, and not pushing a potentially good thing away either:
"You have to have an open heart to be vulnerable to accept it when it does come. I think the more success you have as a woman, you kinda go, 'Well, I don't really need a man 'cause look: I have everything I want,' but the truth is you do need a partner because at some point in your life you're not going to want to walk alone."
[Tweet "You have to have an open heart to be vulnerable and accept love when it does come"]
That's certainly a refreshing way to see things. Career women are often praised for their ability to run successful business or climb the career ladder, but are hardly praised for their ability to remain focused during the time it took to reach a certain level of success. Sometimes that focus might include sacrifices and placing a few things on hold (i.e: holding off on starting a family until later). Quite often when a 30-plus woman is accomplished yet still single, people will use the very thing they praised her for, against her- which was her drive to ensure success and a safety net for herself.
A top-ranking male CEO of a fortune-500 company in his 40's might be regarded as one of the "youngest in his position," plus no one says a word if he hasn't married yet. But if it were a woman, although she'd get applauded on the work tip, she'd be pretty much written off as ancient for all else. We guess that's where the perception of having a "biological clock" that's ticking sets in.
Nia's engagement and her optimism is definitely hope for the new modern, working woman who is here for the dollars and the diamond (ring, that is- aka love!)
Patience truly is a virtue!
Congrats to Nia!
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Curate The Vibes With These Black-Owned Candles For Every Mood
Black women of the 90s and early 2000s had incense, and Black women of today are fully embracing our luxury candle era. Candles have become just as important as our perfume selections, and as a luxury candle connoisseur, I keep all of my favorites in stock in my storage closet.
Whether you’re moving out for the first time and want to try new scents or looking to set the mood for a self-care day or sexy evening, consider these Black-owned candle brands to curate the vibe you’re looking for.
If You’re Feeling Bad & Bougie
The Original Candle
If you’re the bougie friend of the group, this candle is for you. Hanifa has become a staple luxury brand; with celebs like Tracee Ellis Ross, Jennifer Hudson, Naomi Campbell, and Danielle Brooks seen in her designs, they have become everyone's favorite brand. They recently launched their first candle, The Original. The candle is infused with notes of mandarin, orange blossom, caramel, sandalwood, jasmine sambac, and vanilla.
When Wash Day Comes...
"Wash Day" Candle
Cavo
Need some inspiration to get up and section that hair so you can get to washing? Not to worry. This pineapple, mango coconut milk, and sugar candle will have your house smelling as good as your favorite conditioner.
Wellness Girl Necessity
Sunday in Brooklyn Candle
If you’re a girl who loves clean scents that clear the energy in your home and feel like the best Sunday you ever had, you need this candle. Infused with wild basil and lemongrass, it’s guaranteed to help you find your zen.
For Sunday Brunch If You’re Hosting
Champagne Showers
Champagne Showers is the perfect candle for a birthday celebration, Sunday brunch night in, or toast to your next big win! The candle includes a blend of bright bergamot, peach fizz, and creamy woods. It’s a bubbly fragrance that’s as sophisticated as our girl, Jackie Aina.
After You Listen To SZA
"After A Good Cry" Candle
Cavo
Let the tears flow, and let the healing begin. This rainwater, lavender, vanilla, and bean and bourbon candle is just what the doctor ordered if you’re getting over a breakup. But once you’re done crying, just remember you're worthy of much more, okay?
For The Lover Girl Era
"Love" Luxury Candle
If you’re done crying and have found the one you’ve been waiting for, let this candle burn as warm as your love for your new boo. Harlem Candle Co.'s "Love" fragrance represents a dramatic, romantic theme with both masculine and feminine accords melding beautifully together, infused with crisp apple and watery green notes.
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Featured image by Maskot/Getty Images