Newly Engaged Angie Martinez Shares Gems On Being Single, 'Me Time' + Defining Your Own Success
After umpteen years of speaking on the radio, Angie Martinez has been spoken for!
Earlier this year, the veteran radio mogul revealed to Latina Magazine that she's no longer a single lady during an interview about how she supported the new film How To Be Single. While Auntie Angie gave hardly any details on her new nuptials, she did have plenty of advice on how single girls can be completely happy without having a date.
Check out what she had to say to the magazine on how single girls can have the time of their lives, sans the man.
On What's Great About Being Single
I have to tell you something. I’m not single anymore and it’s fairly new but I was single for a long time in NYC. Well, I think the thing about being single is that there are other single women too. So there is a bonding that happens with other single women – there is certain support that you get from other single women and honestly, you don’t need a man to be happy. You could be perfectly happy in your life and great relationships and friendships and fun. If you’re young and you’re still exploring the world, you kind of should be single, so you could figure out who you are all the way first and mess up every now and then and do dumb things. But especially in this city, it’s such a fun city to be single in and you don’t have anyone to answer to.
ON WHAT SUCKS ABOUT BEING SINGLE
The worst thing about being single, is when you have to go to weddings or go to events where everyone is matched up with somebody else and they give you that look like ‘are you ever going to have a date?’ that kind of sucks or just in those moments where everybody has a lonely moment where it’s kind of like, your girlfriends don’t really cut it. But those are just moments; it doesn’t mean your life cannot be happy.
HER BEST ADVICE FOR THE SINGLE LADIES IN THE HOUSE
Just to have great friends – great girlfriends, great network of people to hold you down and to share life with and experience all of the city has to offer. You don’t necessarily need a man for that; you just need people who you enjoy being around for that. I just say, pick your friends wisely.
Back in October at a luncheon in New York, the "Voice of New York" also had some gems of advice for ladies seeking to be entrepreneurs while looking for something that fulfills them. Angie has found plenty of fulfillment in her career as a radio host and an entrepreneur through her website and book, Healthy Latin Eating. The healthy living advocate was able to share some helpful hints on defining your own success that can definitely be applied to any woman trying to forge a path in business while they're not actively dating. Check out what else she had to say.
Define Your Own Success
“Sometimes, we as women put so much energy into our career and then it doesn’t make us happy. You work so hard, but is that success? Like, how much money do you have to have? What is your purpose? What fulfills you inside? You start chasing something, but why? You want a million dollars? And when you get it, what happens? Answer me that. What happens?
[Tweet "You want a million dollars? And when you get it, what happens? Answer me that. What happens? -@angiemartinez"]
Have some "Me" time
“I know it’s cliché, but you have to take time for yourself. It’s the realest thing I wish I could have learned earlier. You need to give yourself energy. Because you’re giving out energy all day to your man, your kids, your work. You need to put some energy back into yourself. And also accept that it will never be [perfectly] balanced. It’s the truth! But if you give yourself enough time to be aware, then you would notice danger a little bit before it arrives. You will be constantly readjusting your life. Forever. There will never be a time when you’re like ‘I got it!’ It’s never going to happen!” “It’s always hard. What I just started doing maybe three years ago — once a year I go somewhere alone. And I’ve always been the type of person who hates doing things alone. I don’t go see a movie by myself, or have dinner alone. But when I take that trip without anyone, I come back with so much peace and so many ideas. I write, I read. [You have to] make sure you take those moments for yourself, because work and life can make you crazy. You’ll find little tricks that help you. A trick for me is taking a trip once a year alone.”
CHASE YOUR DREAM
[Tweet ""A lot of people get stuck chasing somebody else’s route" - @angiemartinez"]
“A lot of people get stuck chasing somebody else’s route, I see it all the time.” “You have to be authentic to who you are. Pay attention to your own spirit, your own gut, your own instincts. Learn from people but do you. Maybe you’re slowing yourself down trying to fit into a piece that’s not for you. There is no answer to everything. It’s just a job and if there isn’t one for you, you can’t let that stop you. You have to figure out another way. F-ck ‘em!”
Fail to Win
“I’m just deeply inspired by how [Oprah] left what she had, multiple times in her career and wasn’t afraid to do something different, something new, start over. Not afraid to fail. People were talking a lot during the first year of OWN and she said, ‘It’s cool, I failed the first year, I’m going to learn and pick it up again.’ To me that is super inspiring because it’s a journey. Failing is part of it and if you don’t fail, you’re not in the game and then you really have a problem. Failing is not the problem. Not being in the game is the problem.”
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Think Homeownership Is Out Of Reach? Here's The Starter Guide To Buying A House
When it comes to homeownership, many of us might be holding some preconceived notions as well as valid fears that it's just out of reach. From the unstable housing market to rising prices, to challenges with employment and other financial factors, it might seem that owning a home was something only our grandmothers or mothers could enjoy. But all hope is not lost.
In fact, research points to Black women being the leaders behind a boost in homeownership in the past few years, and even during the pandemic, we continued on our plight to leaving renting for ownership.
If you've had some doubts or don't know where to start, here's a quick guide for prepping to make your homeownership dreams a reality:
1. Get your mind right.
A 2022 Bank of America survey found that while 48% of Black women "feel confident about their finances," only 28% actually "feel empowered to take action" fueled by this confidence.
This first step is often overlooked, but oftentimes, when we're starting any new journey, especially one that involves a big change both physically (i.e. moving to a whole new environment) and financially, you'll need to set your mind on positive thoughts, confidence, and boldness. You have to know that you can indeed be a homeowner, that you deserve the desires of your heart, and that you are more than capable of navigating the process.
With high rates of student loan debt, rental income disparities, and a lot of the home responsibilities falling on us, among other challenges, it can indeed seem like a tough feat to go the homeownership route, but it is certainly doable with the right mindset, strategy, and support.
Lean into affirmations, prayer, therapy, coaching, and real-life inspiration to clear your mind of doubts and fears and use that energy to progress toward your dream home purchase. Open your mind to all the options, resources, and programs that are afforded to you and the alternative ways to reach your goals.
2. Get real about your finances.
Many experts agree on this second step, as you'll need to know where you are financially in order to be sure of what type of house you want, where you want to live, and whether you can afford the mortgage. Usually, this includes having (or creating) a budget and getting to know your expenses versus your take-home pay. If you don't already have a budget, create one and start to really get focused on knowing exactly what money's coming in and what's going out.
Also, getting into a savings routine and looking into investing, even if it's as simple as signing up for your 401K with your job, opening a retirement account on your own via companies like Fidelity or JP Morgan, or starting brokerage accounts with platforms like Charles Schwab or Robinhood. This will allow you to get into the habit of building wealth and having multiple sources to tap into in terms of financial assets.
3. Stop counting yourself out due to reasons like "bad credit" or low income.
If you need assistance with budgeting or learning more about money management, there are free resources out there (try here or here). You can also tap into local resources like nonprofits, financial advisers, or the professionals you bank with, especially if it's a credit union.
There are also resources for strategizing how to improve your credit, boost your income, and develop better financial fitness habits, so tap into those as well. You can do this! Sit down, write out your goals, work with a coach, and start one small step at a time.
Bad credit and other financial challenges don't necessarily bar you from achieving your dreams of owning a home. Look into rent-to-own options or financiers who offer home loans to people with credit under 620. There are also federal lenders that are ideal for those with low or no credit.
Go into your current bank and get to know your options so that you'll know what's actually available to you and what's possible beyond the fears or negative self-talk. Take a free class via the National Urban League or other local resources through a quick Google search. You'd be surprised what options are out there when you simply make a few appointments, do a bit of research, network, and ask.
4. Figure out your plan for your first payment and the right mortgage fit.
A down payment is often required (or at least encouraged) when you're buying a home, so once you've gotten clear on your financial status, what type of house you want, where, and how much you can afford based on your income, think about how you'll save up (or pay) the first payment for the investment.
Twenty percent of the total cost of the home has often been mentioned as a place to start, but experts say you don't necessarily have to have that much. However, be aware that when you put down less than that, you'll have to get mortgage insurance, and it will likely add to your monthly mortgage payment, so keep that in mind. There are assistance programs on the state and federal levels that can help you navigate this and even assist with the cost, especially if you're a first-time homebuyer. (Start here for more great information on this.)
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When it comes to your dream home and consideration of a mortgage, think outside the box. Your dream home might be a $500,000 ranch-style home in a major metro area but if that's going to have you living above your means or struggling to pay the down payment and monthly mortgage in tough times, considering an adjacent city or county in the same state or the same type of house in an area that's more up-and-coming.
There are also different types of mortgages that might be a good fit for you based on various factors. For example, conventional loans offer low minimum down payments but have more stringent qualifications, while FHA loans are mortgages backed by the Federal Housing Administration and are generally easier to qualify for but have stricter requirements related to mortgage insurance. (You can research more information on types of loans and how to qualify here and here.)
5. Start the pre-approval process and ask lots of questions before agreeing to a loan.
You'll also need to get pre-approved, so once you've found the right type of loan, do your research on who to partner with on your mortgage. Be sure, for example, that if you're going for an FHA loan, the loan provider is FHA-approved. According to NerdWallet, prospective home buyers should consider how a lender’s sample rates compare with today's mortgage rates, determine the closing costs, and "compare mortgage origination fees.” Become super-aware of the terms and timing for the loans and how these might change over time or in the future. Ask lots of questions or get help via a reputable consultant or coach.
Preapproval is necessary for getting the "real numbers," because lenders have access to detailed information about your finances. The process will include a hard credit inquiry, which shows up on your credit report, however, when you apply with multiple lenders around the same time, according to Bankrate, it only counts as one hard pull. This is because credit scoring models "take mortgage rate-shopping into account" and "group multiple inquiries together" if the credit checks all happen within a 45-day period. You'll need documents including W2s, pay stubs, and others (listed here.)
You can use the pre-approved lender at the end of the process, once you're ready to buy, or you can use a new one if, by the end of the process, you've found a better deal.
6. Research and vet your real estate agent before contracting with them.
Experts recommend interviewing multiple buyer's agents to be sure you're getting someone with your best interests at heart. Ask family, friends, and coworkers for referrals, look at the agent's online reviews, and be sure they're licensed in your state. Check out their Zillow or other professional profiles online and look at their track record. Ask them questions like "How long have you been in business," "How well do you know the area," and "How will you be corresponding with me, and how often?" (Here's a full list of interview questions for getting started.)
There’s a difference between a buyer’s agent, who represents a homebuyer in a real estate transaction, and a seller’s or listing agent, who is responsible for looking out for the seller, including pricing and marketing the home. Many agents do both, but some specialize in one or the other. Some states don’t allow dual agency, and it can there are some risks associated with that. There are referral agents who provide leads to other agents for a fee.
7. When shopping around, take your time and don't make hasty decisions.
Work with your real estate agent to view properties and think along the lines of making a long-term investment. You'll more than likely be living in the house for quite some time (even if you plan to sell and move on later) so you'll want to have some forethought on your why and how you'd like to live in the long term. Think about the community, how you'll live in the home, and what will best suit your long-term needs.
Real estate agents also recommend looking for red flags when viewing a home like poor tiling, evidence of leaks, or covering of flaws (such as "strong perfumes" or gaps in tile, for example). Be aware of potential issues like bodies of water nearby (possibility of flooding) or paint bubbling around windows (possible problems with ventilation). They also recommend looking past the aesthetics, lifting carpets, or asking about recent property maintenance.
While this guide is simply a snapshot to get you started, allow it to encourage you to go boldly for your dreams of homeownership with confidence and a plan. Be sure to utilize all resources afforded to you, do your research, and walk proudly into your next elevation to owning the home of your dreams.
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