I Missed The Days When Men And Women Talked More Than We Texted
I was born in '91 and my childhood consisted of Walt Disney fairytales and black classics such as, Love and Basketball, and my personal favorite, Love Jones. I am not ashamed to admit that I am a hopeless romantic.
Yet, as a young adult, reality has taught me that relationships are complicated even more so today due to social media and the strange norms of my generation. At times, I feel as if I was born in the wrong generation. I live in the era of “Netflix and Chill" that counts as a “date" and some people referring to dating someone as “talking." I live in an era where courting seems somewhat extinct. I live in an era of not wanting a title, but still wanting relationship benefits. I personally think the “friends with benefits" concept rarely works out because going with the flow usually leads to one person developing stronger feelings and initiating the, “What are we?" conversation, which then leads to the “I am not ready for a commitment, but I enjoy what we have and still want to chill with you," answer (a.k.a. a #situationship).
I live in a social media obsessed era. I feel as though we're so connected as society due to Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, texting, and constant feeds of what our significant other is doing that it takes away the mystery and “I miss you" factor.
I live in a generation where people are so quick to post photos of their new #bae, #MCE, #WCW and tell the world all about their relationship before they actually let it develop. Then, three months later their posts are deleted and their timeline is full of shady memes about not settling, and knowing their worth.
Some people are so focused on making their relationship look amazing on social media, that they don't do the real work of making it equally amazing in real life.
At times, I wish I could teleport myself to a time where things seemed simpler, where men were more chivalrous, being in love was praised, and R&B was about the beauty of love and sex, instead of #sidechicks and #thesehoesaintloyal.
I honestly feel that some women in my generation settle for things that they do not want in a relationship. I am not a relationship expert and I am far from perfect, but one thing that I have learned in my own personal dating and relationship experiences is that we as women really hold all the power and set the tone for how we want to be treated. I think this is very important for women to hear (especially millennials) - that we must set the standards of how we want to be treated by our partners, and that alone begins with self-love and figuring out what we value. If we all come to realize the power that we have, we could really change the current dating game.
If you're at stage in life where you want to date with no strings attached and have fun- that's cool too. However, if what you crave is a committed relationship, there is no need to settle for a relationship without a commitment. Men know what they want. If a man wants you, he will do whatever it takes.
However, if he tells you he's not ready, believe him. It is your choice to stay and wait or just move on. Ultimately, you are in power of your own happiness and you set the terms of what you want.
What do you think ladies? Has technology and social media killed off the concept of dating? Are we also to partially blame for the lack of effort behind dating and settling, or is "chilling" simply the new "courting"?
We'd love to hear your thoughts!
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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ItGirl In Motion: DonYé Taylor Asked Herself This Question When Creating Her Brainchild
"Being an 'ItGirl' is all about being yourself and taking all of the elements that make you who you are and displaying them at your highest capability," creative brainiac DonYé Taylor says in the introduction of the limited video series, "ItGirl In Motion."
In partnership with Hyundai, xoNecole has unveiled the limited series in conjunction with our inaugural ItGirl 100 list. The list boasts 100 Black women who not only innovate and take up space when it comes to putting on for their cities, but also as the driving force behind brands that create impact for the culture. ItGirl DonYé Taylor is one of the 100 featured ladies who put her purpose into action.
ITGIRL IN MOTION with DONYE TAYLORwww.youtube.com
As a marketing consultant, content creator, and CEO, a driving force behind DonYé's ambitions has been to show others how she sees the world by "creating art and doing things that shift perspective." In founding her brainchild, Nüclei, which is coincidentally also home to the ever-so-chic chrome brain piggybank, DonYé briefly touched on the inspiration behind the brand. "I was like, 'What would it look like if I were to be of service to myself?' And that's what made me create Nuclei," she said.
Watch the video above to take a peek into the life of the LA-based ItGirl, the importance of Black women receiving our "flowers" while we're here, and the three things she believes are absolutely essential to any ItGirl.
See our ItGirl 100 list in full here. Click through the gallery below for some BTS moments of DonYé and our partnership with Hyundai.
CREDITS
Director: Mikkoh @mikkoh
Production Company: @30inthemorning
AD/Gimbal Op: @jeffreyrattanong
DP: @jucelandrin_
Editor: @30inthemorning
1st AC: Bonnie Delgado @bonniebellevue
2nd AC: Liz Robles @lizfatimarobles
FPV Drone Op: Kai Kevin Goh @kaivertigoh
Gaffer: Nelson Nguyen @nelson_ftw
Key Grip: Ames Hoang @mangothemaker
SLT: Jamon Tolbert @jamon.tolbert
Sound Mixer: Deyo Forteza @introducingdeyo
PA: Breyona Holt @exquisite_eye
PA: Aminah Muhammad @aminahmuhamm
BTS: Marika Belamarich @marikarosegold
Featured image by Marika Belamarich for xoNecole