What I Learned From Spending A Day With Four Women Who Are Living The Dream
There was a point of time when I thought I knew it all.
Then, I soon realized, I knew nothing.
Over the past year, instead of pushing myself to the forefront and packing my schedule with appearances on panels, podcasts, radio shows, and TV outlets while disguising myself as an expert in my field, I decided to instead go back to school.
And not in a literal sense.
I went back to the drawing board. Book reading, researching, and catching up on my field, studying trends (so I could know what bandwagon to not hop on), listening to educational podcasts, seeking out mentors, and putting myself in a position where I could learn from those trailblazers who aren't just dreamers, but who are doers.
I am a student, ready to be taught.
It is for that reason that I was thrilled to be able to spend a day with four women entrepreneurs that I looked up to as part of xoNecole's "Living My Dream" series sponsored by the 2017 Toyota Corolla. As the executive producer of the series, I traveled to LA where I caught up with Rosa Acosta, Devi Brown, and Nikki Chu, before making my way down to Atlanta where I spent the day with my entrepreneur shero, Myleik Teele.
So what did I learn?
From Nikki Chu, I learned:
You shouldn't place limitations on yourself
Nikki has been hailed as one of the top African-American interior decorators in the country. What I love the most about her story is that, she could have settled with just a career as an interior decorator and be content with that, but she decided to also venture into product design and now has her own paint line, bedding collection, and furniture collection that can be found on Amazon, Bed Bath & Beyond, and Wayfair. Even when we achieve a dream, there's always the opportunity to break the plateau and go to a higher level.
From Rosa Acosta, I learned:
Done is better than perfect.
There's so many times I have not completed a project -- whether it was to launch an event series, a podcast, a workshop, an online store, etc., because I wanted it to be perfect, and I wanted it to be the best quality. I felt as someone who had already achieved a level of success, that I couldn't half-ass anything, but sometimes, while attempting to achieve perfection, those things put a stand-still on our ability to produce amazing work.
[Tweet "It doesn't have to be perfect as long as it's done."]
During our interview, Rosa (who came to America just eight years ago as an immigrant from the Dominican Republic) reflected on the day she opened her storefront on Melrose Avenue in Los Angeles:
"I have never let perfection get in the middle of good enough. I opened Cossamia online five years ago. I wasn't waiting for the website to be perfect to launch it. And even the store, it wasn't packed with inventory. Somebody had reached out to me and said, 'I would love to help you.' The person disappeared right after I signed the lease and everything. I opened the store with not enough money to sustain it but I was able to profit my first month."
From Myleik Teele, I learned:
Just because it's too much for them, doesn't mean it's too much for you.
During a side conversation with Myleik, while we were setting up cameras, she mentioned how a few people were concerned about her opening her own warehouse versus allowing a distribution service to manage the handling of her subscription boxes.
This reminded me of the chapters on bullies in the book, The Dreamgiver. Your bullies a lot of times won't even be people who don't like you, but instead will be people who are closest to you like your family and friends. They will say things to discourage you from knocking down the wall of fear and chasing your big dream because they are acting on their own fear. It's not that they don't want what's best for you, but their discouragement can come from many places, including wanting to protect you from getting hurt or failing. Meanwhile, we think to ourselves, Why isn't this person more supportive and encouraging of me achieving this big dream?
At the end of our interview, Myleik said it best: "Feel the fear, we all feel it. Then do it anyway."
We cannot allow other people to push their limitations, fears, and emotional blocks onto us. If you know you can do it, do it! That's ultimately what separates the dreamers from the doers, right?
From Devi Brown, I learned:
If you don't keep shedding your skin, and evolving, you will die inside
During our sit-down, Devi (who is a radio host and has her own self-discovery platform where she sells journals, crystals and more), compared evolution to a snake. She said, "The snake that does not shed its skin will perish. If you don't keep shedding your skin, and keep evolving, you will die inside." I looked into this further and learned that snakes shed their skin for further growth and to remove parasites that have attached to their old skin. How symbolic is that? If we refuse to push ourselves out of our comfort zones and give ourselves permission to evolve, the outdated version of ourselves will attract things that aren't healthy. Whether it's bad relationships, toxic friendships, or jobs that we hate, we will never be happy because there are things we are attached to that are holding us back, and preventing us from operating at our highest potential.
[Tweet "If you are not growing, you're dying"]
This just scratches the surface of the things I learned from these amazing women. I hope you are as inspired by them as I was.
Catch the "Living My Dream" series below and let me know your thoughts!
Myleik Teele
Nikki Chu
Devi Brown
Rosa Acosta
xo, Necole
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Curate The Vibes With These Black-Owned Candles For Every Mood
Black women of the 90s and early 2000s had incense, and Black women of today are fully embracing our luxury candle era. Candles have become just as important as our perfume selections, and as a luxury candle connoisseur, I keep all of my favorites in stock in my storage closet.
Whether you’re moving out for the first time and want to try new scents or looking to set the mood for a self-care day or sexy evening, consider these Black-owned candle brands to curate the vibe you’re looking for.
If You’re Feeling Bad & Bougie
The Original Candle
If you’re the bougie friend of the group, this candle is for you. Hanifa has become a staple luxury brand; with celebs like Tracee Ellis Ross, Jennifer Hudson, Naomi Campbell, and Danielle Brooks seen in her designs, they have become everyone's favorite brand. They recently launched their first candle, The Original. The candle is infused with notes of mandarin, orange blossom, caramel, sandalwood, jasmine sambac, and vanilla.
When Wash Day Comes...
"Wash Day" Candle
Cavo
Need some inspiration to get up and section that hair so you can get to washing? Not to worry. This pineapple, mango coconut milk, and sugar candle will have your house smelling as good as your favorite conditioner.
Wellness Girl Necessity
Sunday in Brooklyn Candle
If you’re a girl who loves clean scents that clear the energy in your home and feel like the best Sunday you ever had, you need this candle. Infused with wild basil and lemongrass, it’s guaranteed to help you find your zen.
For Sunday Brunch If You’re Hosting
Champagne Showers
Champagne Showers is the perfect candle for a birthday celebration, Sunday brunch night in, or toast to your next big win! The candle includes a blend of bright bergamot, peach fizz, and creamy woods. It’s a bubbly fragrance that’s as sophisticated as our girl, Jackie Aina.
After You Listen To SZA
"After A Good Cry" Candle
Cavo
Let the tears flow, and let the healing begin. This rainwater, lavender, vanilla, and bean and bourbon candle is just what the doctor ordered if you’re getting over a breakup. But once you’re done crying, just remember you're worthy of much more, okay?
For The Lover Girl Era
"Love" Luxury Candle
If you’re done crying and have found the one you’ve been waiting for, let this candle burn as warm as your love for your new boo. Harlem Candle Co.'s "Love" fragrance represents a dramatic, romantic theme with both masculine and feminine accords melding beautifully together, infused with crisp apple and watery green notes.
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Featured image by Maskot/Getty Images