I sat patiently awaiting for a return call from Barbara Jacques, owner of the all-natural skin, bath, and body care company Jacq's Organics.
I listened as she situated her 5-year-old daughter so that she could get back to our call, poised and unbothered. With tender, yet stern care, Barbara took the time to answer her questions, tend to a bruise, and redirect her playfulness, while also making it clear to her young daughter that she was in the middle of an important conversation. Essentially, her daughter's presence was just as powerful as the story she told about how her birth led her onto her current path of incredible success.
Barbara's story often starts with the number one traumatic event in her life that just so happens to be the thing that fertilized the idea: she was pregnant…but she also had an ovarian tumor. Upon hearing that, I learned quickly that her story, just like her products, is more complex than it appeared.
To begin, her choice to create her line of products didn't come overnight. In fact, it didn't come without turmoil. In 2009, Barbara married her longtime boyfriend, James. But by the end of 2010, they both had become both elated by the news of being pregnant, and ailed by the horror of a possibly fatal diagnosis.
After being rest assured that the developing baby was out of harm's way, she was hoping that she was out of harm's way too.
She wasn't.
She had a tumor over her left ovary, roughly the same size.
“So I got in my car. I call my husband and I just start bawling. I have this tumor. I'm pregnant. I'm in my 20s. My life just started, you know? What is going on? I was scared."
Scared and confused, Barbara and her husband decided to leave Orlando to return to her roots in Miami. “I was researching, reading medical journals, trying to figure out what was going on. And during that time, I was like, 'I'm going to fight. I can't allow the situation to dictate me. I have this baby [growing inside of me], I'm not going through all of this for no reason'. That's what I kept saying to myself and that's when I kind of felt a calming peace come over me to say, 'It's gon' be alright.' I would pray and I would ask my mom to be with me throughout the time."
Photo by: John Catignas
Barbara's mother Mary had passed away over a decade and a half prior to the health scare, but it wasn't her physical presence that she was seeking. “She has a really big influence on who I am today," said Barbara, adding, “I say has because I feel like she's still with me." At 15-years-old, Jacques had lost both her mother and father - both emigrants from Haiti - within five months of each other. Subsequently, she lost all desire to continue excelling in school. “My mom was in the back of my head saying, 'You have to have more,'" she said, referring to her battle with depression as she crawled her way through high school.
But this time was different. In the face of her diagnosis, Barbara wasn't looking for validation or strength - she had already possessed those things - now, she was just in need of support.
Barbara found a way to save her baby, herself, and her family by becoming educated on the food and product industries in America, as well as healing herbs. She came to find that the natural remedies her mom taught her as a child, were more than just a part of her family rituals.
“I laugh now, but it was misery for me," she recalled of the formative years she spent being forced to use plants and vegetables as ails to her puberty-ridden skin. “My mom always had this clear, toned skin, she was always even, one color. People would always [compliment her]. But she took care of it."
Her mother wished the same beauty for her daughter's dark skin tone and would make her do things like go into the yard to cut up aloe, scrub it on her face, and drink another piece of it to help rid of pimples and blemishes. "The more I researched later on, I realized that it actually is natural vitamin A, zinc, and beta carotene that helped give dark skin a natural glow. [It] helped with aging, wrinkles, acne, blemishes - and the aloe, which is actually mineral water - is healing, hydrating."
Naturally, these ingredients - in addition to almond - are now the base ingredients to all of her products.
Photo by: John Catignas
Growing up a dark-skinned girl in Miami had its challenges, too. Learning to care for her skin and her hair assisted in her journey of learning to love and admire herself more. For Jacq's Organics, education is not only the motive, but the standard. When you visit the website, not only can you learn about your skin-type, how the product is made, and the daily routines you need for your age range, but also nuggets of information that you're not going to find just anywhere.
“We absorb everything we put on our skin through our bloodstream. Eating natural foods is not enough. Slathering toxins on your skin just doesn't make any sense."
More than a passion, but a way of life, Barbara found her life transformed into a vegetarian life-style with a vegan brand. But the transformation didn't happen immediately.
“I already shopped at farmer's markets because I was a very conscious buyer, but the more I researched, [I realized] everything in my refrigerator was soy. I learned that it mimics estrogen and that was feeding my thyroid." From hummus and chickpeas to chicken and white rice, Barbara learned - and spread the word - that her food choices were killing her.
“And then I look, and I have this make-up artist display of products in my closet," she continued. “I have bags of MAC make-up, Estee Lauder, Clinique…it was crazy. I just started throwing my stuff away, and that's when, for me, when I felt that sense of calmness."
Those products - the ones she placed in her hair and on her skin - were causing equal amounts of damage to her health. And just like over 70% of all beauty products catering to Black women, they included “the dirty dozen". “The dirty dozen is basically a list of 12 common ingredients that you will find in, not just skin and hair products, but also in food that are a no-no," Barbara explained. “They're linked to cancer, birth defects, ovarian issues, stuff that has harmful side effects. But it's ingredients, preservatives, and products that are basically in everyday [items] that we don't even think about. Everything from toothpaste to clothes, canned goods, sugar, milk - everything."
Like most people, this was news to Barbara. Her infatuation with those products had begun nearly 10 years prior, when she made the decision to leave Miami for Orlando. “There's something about moving away from home and having to live on your own. It kind of shapes you into being - to think independently," she said. “Within six months, on January 5th, 2000, I went natural - I shaved my hair off. So when I would go back home to Miami people would be like, 'Girl what is wrong with you? Somebody broke your heart? You gay now? What's going on?' And I'm like, 'No this is more me learning about myself - exploring.'
"Miami was still about the quick weaves and getting your hair done every two weeks and that high maintenance life. And me, I was like in an environment where nobody knew me. It was a beautiful thing because then I learned about loving Barbara for who she was."
Photo by: John Catignas
Barbara began playing with natural soap formulas to create alternatives for her and her family - not only to save her skin, but to save her life. “It was therapy for me because, here I was, middle of the day, can't go anywhere [on bed rest], can only walk 30 minutes a day, and it just became peace for me because it was a way for me to heal my body, my mind, and my spirit in a sense."
Spending the bulk of her time home alone, sick, and barely keeping down food, she twiddled her thumbs and contemplated a solution. That began with finding the right doctor. “I think the only person I told close to me was my big brother, he's like my best friend. My close girlfriends knew some-thing was wrong and I didn't want to tell them I was pregnant. I eventually told my aunt and [I found out that my] doctor at the time was giving me some misinformation."
Her aunt - who also took over as matriarch following her mother's death - luckily stepped in with her nursing expertise. “'That could kill you,'" her aunt told her. “'We don't even know if we're going to make it through your pregnancy for birth. We don't even know if it's benign.'"
Barbara's doctor at the time was attempting to coax her into a vaginal birth, which in her state could potentially be very fatal. That's when Barbara found out that her mother had had a hysterectomy due to ovarian issues in her lifetime - a health conversation that they were never able to share. From there, she knew to seek out a gynecologist who specialized in ovarian care.
That was the missing key.
By the time her daughter reached full-term, she gave birth to her via C-section, and subsequently had the tumor removed immediately following. Both surgeries were a success and propelled her to her next move: expansion.
Photo by: John Catignas
By 2011, Barbara wasn't selling anything she made, but all the products she was making were in excess. After giving them away to her family and friends, she heard stories of them hiding their homemade pieces away from their own spouses to use in solitude. The response was that good. On a fluke, a girlfriend convinced her to sell her products at a Farmer's Market and she ended with nearly $600 in sales! From there, she started to think differently about keeping her products to herself. So, in 2012, she set up an official online shop and company. Pedaling quality work, peer and local engagement, as well as an in-demand product, Barbara spent her free time (literally in-between 16-hour or more workdays) to work on her company.
Although she did not appreciate the amount of time working for someone else caused her to spend away from her family, Barbara had a lot of love for her day job and wasn't quite ready to chuck the deuces to her “real job" in lieu of her hobby that was making a profit. Not just yet anyway. “It wasn't until I got this huge ass order that was bigger than my salaried paycheck. And I was just like, 'I think this is for the birds.'"
It was early 2015 when she decided to make the leap from Jacq's Organics acting as a side-hustle to being her full-blown new entrepreneurial career. When Barbara handed in her two weeks' notice, Jacq's Organics was being recognized locally as a growing, thriving business - and once she told the world her own story of triumph, so was she.
Falling into fear nearing the end of her job, Kareem Abdul-Jabar - a regular at the job's networking events - said something to her that has stuck with her to this day.
“He was like, 'God has a plan for you and you're on that plan, you're on that journey. Don't be afraid, it's going to be hard. Everything you need is inside of you.' And when he told me that, I had to walk off. I almost started crying because that's what I needed," she said, laughing joyously.
But it wasn't without preparation.
Photo by: John Catignas
With loyal customers, a growing newsletter, and an easy-to-navigate website, she was ready. “I was able to give my full attention because I'm not really into multitasking, I think it's a gimmick. When you give something your full attention, you start to see your work. That's when my customers doubled, I was getting a presence online, I was still networking, going to events, talking about my business, working with non-for-profit organizations. I was able to be present, complete-ly there. And the transition for me, that aha moment, was when I got that first full [check]."
She was successful, so successful, in fact, that a year and a month to the date of walking away from her full-time corporate job, she was able to rent out her own separate space for her business and say goodbye to using her kitchen for home and work.
From being known as her mother's daughter to stepping into her own light in her mother's name and later manifesting her journey for the love she has of her own daughter, Barbara's life and continuously growing legacy is a testament to time and true liberation.
Shop Barbara's all-natural line of products here. Stay connected by following Jacq's Organics on Twitter and IG.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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And so, since this is the time of year when catching a cold (and/or the flu) is common, let’s talk about the impact that sleep (and again, a lack thereof) has on your immune system. That way, you can remain as healthy as possible during the fall and winter seasons.
1. Less Sleep Means More Colds
GiphyLike I stated in the intro, I’m pretty sure you’ve heard somewhere that the fall and winter are the seasons when people are most susceptible to catching a cold or coming down with the flu. And that’s exactly why I thought I would start this all off by sharing the fact that some studies reveal that if you get less than six hours of sleep, on a consistent basis, you end up making yourself more vulnerable to coming down with both. In fact, some research says that only 18 percent of people who get six-plus hours of rest caught a cold while almost 40 percent who got less than that did.
The logic behind it all is sleep gives your body time to build up the proteins and cells (like cytokines and T-cells) that you need to fight off certain viruses. So, if nothing bothers you more than having a stuffy nose or stubborn cough when it’s cold outside, getting more sleep is one way to prevent that from happening to you.
2. Less Sleep Means More Allergy Symptoms
GiphyAt the end of the day, an allergy is basically what transpires whenever your immune system “overreacts” to something that other people’s systems do not. And since sleep is what helps to keep your immune system nice and strong — well, I’m sure you get how less allergy-related symptoms and more sleep go hand in hand. Also, since sleep helps to decrease bodily inflammation (more on that in a bit) and inflammation can also intensify allergy symptoms, that’s just one more reason to get as much shut-eye as possible.
3. Less Sleep Means Potential Diabetes and Heart Disease
GiphyDid you know that in 2024, Black women were diagnosed with diabetes 24 percent more than any other adult demographic. Also, it continues to be a reality that heart disease is the leading cause of death for Black women. These two sobering statistics alone should be enough of an incentive to do whatever you can to keep the risk of diabetes and heart disease way down.
One way to do that is by getting more sleep. Aside from the fact that sleep strengthens your immune system to where it is easier for you to fight off illness and diseases, sleep can keep your blood sugar levels in a healthy space; plus, when it comes to your heart, it gives it, along with your arteries and blood vessels a break.
4. Less Sleep Means Less Time for Your Body to Push “Reset”
GiphyIf you really stopped to consider all that your body goes through during the day (you can read some about that here), you definitely would respect it enough to do your best to thank it by giving it no less than six hours of sleep, each and every night. Sleep is what helps to slow your brain and body down so they are able to “refuel” for the next day. After all, how can your body prevent you from getting sick if your immune system is too worn out to fight ailments off? Exactly.
5. More Sleep Helps You to Fight Off Infections
GiphySpeaking of, in order for your body to fight off infections, there are certain cells and antibodies within you that need to be healthy and strong — one way that they get and stay that way is by you getting a good amount of sleep. For instance, remember when I touched on cytokines earlier? Well, the same way that they help to prevent colds, they also help to prevent infections too. And since sleep lowers your cortisol (stress) levels, rest gives your body the time and space to build up an army that can fight off free radicals and other health-related challenges while you are awake.
6. More Sleep Lowers Bodily Inflammation
GiphyWhenever a health-related issue is mentioned on this platform, inflammation is something that is mentioned quite a bit. Probably the easiest way to explain inflammation is it’s how your body responds/reacts whenever something is happening to your body that shouldn’t be, whether it’s an illness, an injury, a germ or something that you may be allergic to.
If you happen to have chronic inflammation, some symptoms that are associated with that include fatigue, stiff joints, skin rashes, weight gain and moodiness.
The interesting thing about all of this is if you aren’t getting enough rest, you could be triggering inflammation in your body. That’s because studies reveal that a lack of sleep can elevate molecules that are associated with inflammation. So, if you don’t want inflammation to increase within your system, you should definitely catch more zzz’s.
7. More Sleep Regulates Hormones
GiphyWhen it comes to hormones like serotonin, estrogen and cortisol, believe it or not, they play a role in how your immune system acts and overreacts. That’s because, if your hormones are out of balance, that can cause your immune system to work harder than it actually should and that can make you more vulnerable to sickness. One way to keep your hormones leveled out? SLEEP.
That’s because sleep gives your body the opportunity to rest, repair and restore your hormone levels. On the other hand, when you are sleep deprived, that can put/keep your hormones on the ultimate roller coaster ride. #notgood
8. More Sleep Strengthens Vaccines
flu shot GIF - Find & Share on GIPHYGiphyIf you’re someone who is good for getting some sort of vaccine around this time of the year, make sure that you rest up before and after getting your shots. Not only does adequate rest before a vaccination help your immune system to be better receptive to your shots but sleep also helps your body to build up enough antibodies to make your vaccinations effective after getting them. Because if you’re gonna get pricked, shouldn’t it be worth it? My thoughts exactly.
Get some freakin’ sleep! Your immune system depends on it.
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