No Lye - Why You Should Think Twice About Relaxing Your Hair
When I saw a soda can disintegrate into a container of hair relaxer while watching Chris Rock's 2009 documentary, Good Hair - I knew my days of getting a perm were over.
The thought of that can dissolving sickened me.
Before seeing the documentary, I didn't know much about the ingredients in relaxers. I just knew that every Sunday my mom would straighten my hair with a hot comb and I hated it. So, when I got my first perm in middle school I was ecstatic, it meant no more singed kitchen and no more burnt. Right?
Wrong!
As it turned out, relaxers weren't the golden ticket I anticipated.
The Truth About The Lye
By now, we should all know the truth about the chemicals in perms. Lye and no-lye relaxers contain sodium hydroxide and guanidine carbonate. These are chemicals that burn the scalp and damage hair follicles. Even Gabrielle Union recently admitted in her new book that she attempted to get "good" hair by using relaxers and it caused her to , developed lesions on her scalp.
When I eventually went natural in 2011, I didn't plan on ever looking back. It was a whole new world.
So, when I recently came across a debate online about naturals who relax their edges, I didn't know what to think.
Isn't the point of being natural is to be chemical-free? This is where I say that what a woman does with her hair is her own business. How you choose to exhibit your crown is a personal choice.
But, the question is - do relaxed edges mean you're not natural?
Technically? Yes.
Although, that depends on your definition of "natural." It also depends on your reasons for going natural in the first place. For me, it was about saying "goodbye" to harsh toxic chemicals. For this reason alone, I would never relax my edges. Especially when there are so many healthier alternatives. Edge control products, pomades, gels, and oils can do the trick without causing any damage.
If you have a lay-resistant hair texture, you can apply water and the product of your choice. Wrap a scarf around your edges at night and you'll wake up with your baby hairs in complete submission. Try the Black Vanilla Edge Control Smoother by Carol's Daughter ($8) or Creme of Nature's Argan Oil Perfect Edges ($5).
Besides a little hair routine change-up, some self-acceptance can lay an edge or two as well. It can at least allow you to be happy with what you're working with. The natural hair community is hyper-supportive and there are tons of resources available online to help you find your way. How-to videos, product reviews, and tips and tricks are at your disposal day or night.
So if you feel compelled to chemically straighten your edges - do you, queen!!! Just know that in the process of getting processed, you're damaging your hair and scalp. But no matter what you do, try to embrace your natural hair. We all have different hair journeys, and different is beautiful.
What do you think about naturals with relaxed edges? Share your edge-laying tips!
SP Jackson, is a freelance writer, pop-culture junkie, and avid reader. She's written for Buzzfeed, Travelocity, ebay, and Grubhub with a concentration on beauty, travel, lifestyle and pop culture. SP lives in Los Angeles with her fiancee and cat, Bixby.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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How A Stay At Switzerland's Luxurious 7132 Hotel Reminded Me To Live The Life I Deserve
Sometimes, as women—especially as single Black women—we simply need to be reminded that we are deserving of living a life we dream of. Even if that means creating it for ourselves. I recently set out on a weeklong trip to Switzerland, a trip I’ve been wanting to take for years, and near the end of my visit, I had an epiphany.
“DeAnna, this is the life you deserve,” I thought to myself as I took in the gorgeous bathroom in my suite at the famous 7132 Hotel and Thermal Spa. It was one of the most luxurious hotels (and bathrooms) I had ever stayed in—and that’s saying a lot for someone who often travels for work.
To help you better understand why this was such a mental awakening for me, I first need to give a bit of my backstory. I’m in my late thirties. I’m an attorneyand a journalist. I own a home and have traveled the world extensively. Essentially, I’ve done everything in life I set out to do. However, when it comes to dating, I struggle. Not because there is anything wrong with me per se, but because my career and “lifestyle” often create problems in my romantic relationships.
View from my hotel room
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I’ve been told everything from, ‘I can’t continue to date you because you seem to choose your career over wanting to settle down and have kids’ by a man after only the second date to ‘Maybe if you just sat down somewhere for a while, I’d actually wife you’ by someone who has honestly never proven themselves to be the settle down type. And these are only a handful of the things I’ve been told over the years.
It’s been frustrating, to say the least, and there have even been seasons where I purposely dimmed my light in hopes that my career wouldn’t push away potential suitors. I know what you’re thinking, “Girl, why would you even consider that? If they’re for you, it won’t matter what you do.” Hey, don’t judge me, but also, I one hundred percent agree.
My hotel bathroom
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That’s why this recent moment in Switzerland was right on time. When I first walked into the hotel to check in, I was blown away by the surrounding beauty. It was a five-star property with one of the world’s most famous thermal bathhouses. Yet, it was something about seeing that 90% of the hotel’s guests were couples, that forced me to sit back for a bit of introspection—while soaking in the thermal spa, of course.
As I went through the mental conversation, there was a battle of sorts. On one hand, I knew that being able to partake in experiences like the one I was having at that moment was important to me. I knew that, at times I actually love being able to dabble in the finer things—after all, I’ve worked hard to be able to afford them. On the other hand, and sadly, I knew that sometimes being a single Black woman that publicly showcases her “luxurious” habits can intimidate men and even scare them off from pursuing you under the guise of them feeling like they “can’t do anything for you, because you have everything.”
My hotel room
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So, what is a girl to do?
Do I minimize/hide the life and experiences that I have? Do I play down the hard work I’ve put in to get where I am professionally? Or, do I risk being single in exchange for being able to have said life, without backlash?
Luckily, the joy that I felt while being at this property won. There was something about taking a full day to simply pamper myself at the bathhouse and in my in-room steam shower and soaker tub, indulging in cuisine from a 2-star Michelin restaurant and doing all of this while surrounded by an amazing group of Black women that reminded me—this is certainly the life I was meant to live and that I deserve. Even if it means that right now, I’ll just have to provide it for myself until the right partner comes along. And honestly, I’m okay with that.
Restaurant at 7132 hotel
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