Michael Ealy On The Birth Of His Daughter: 'I've Discovered A Whole New Love'
Back in 2012, when news dropped that Michael Ealy ran off and got hitched, you could almost hear millions of hearts around the world break in an instant. Four years later, he is a doting father and just welcomed his second child with his wife Khatira Rafiqzada.
During a recent interview with Steve Harvey, the 43-year-old DC native revealed that he discovered a whole new love after his daughter was born:
I just discovered a whole new love and I've never ever felt this way before. I was wondering if I could love another child as much as I love my son, and what I realized within hours of my daughter being born was that, not only do I love her just as much, if not more, it's a protective love. Within two hours, I understood your emotions at your daughter's wedding. I'm scared of the day.
Later in the interview, Michael reminded the audience that he played some dangerous characters as a warning to guys who will want to court his daughter when she's old enough to date.
Since Michael Ealy prides himself on keeping his personal life private, this little insight into his life and how he's navigating fatherhood was refreshing. A few years ago, in a rare moment forRolling Out Magazine, he spoke on his marriage for the first time and revealed that although he didn't marry what he would consider "his type," jumping the broom was a well-thought-out mature decision after four years in a relationship. For Michael, he realized that it wasn't about trying to live up to the romance in the movies.
He found a woman he wanted to spend his life with and wifed her up.
On why he decided to get marriedWell, you know me, and you know that I am an extremely private person. But what I can say is that I’m not a young cat anymore. I’ve gone through my share of relationships [...]. I can relate to Danny in [About Last Night], because I was him. So when I watched the film I was so happy that I had matured beyond that point in my life.
Don’t get me wrong. Marriage opens up an entirely different can of worms as it pertains to your evolution as a man. I’ve found that, for me, the timing of it was right … And that’s a personal decision that was not made in haste, because we were together for four years. But when you find someone - and that’s something that is very hard to do - but when you find someone that you actually want to spend the rest of your life with, you have to go for it. I was just very lucky that the stars lined up for me.
[Tweet "When you find someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with, go for it."]
Michael Ealy and 4-year-old son Elijah
On his advice to men who are apprehensive about taking the next step
While I don’t consider myself a person that should write a book, or give advice on relationships, what I will share is my personal perspective. What helped me along the way was I had two personal friends of mine whose fiancés died. And I went through a personal struggle where my father got really sick, and I spent a week with him and it just dawned on me that we don’t have as much time as we think. And when you’re done playing games, and you find someone who has qualities that are much more practical as opposed to romanticized ideals, then you’ve got to hold on to them.
People think that you’re supposed to marry your type … well, I didn’t marry my type. It’s much more practical, and based in a day-to-day existence. So when you have that, and you’re happy, and you love her, don’t waste time. Because time — and I’ve learned that at this point in my life — time is my most precious commodity. Nothing is more precious than time. Because when it runs out … that’s it.
[Tweet "Nothing is more precious than time. Because when it runs out … that’s it."]
That's a grown man right there!
Related Post:Michael Ealy and Morris Chestnut Gives Tips On How To Find The Right Kind Of Love
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Stress Awareness Month: Sneaky Workplace Triggers Affecting Black Women, And How To Cope
We all know about the major stress triggers of everyday life, from relationship woes to monthly bills to unexpected emergencies, but there are small, subtle triggers that impact Black women in a big way, especially when it comes to work. It’s good to be aware of these sneaky stressors in order to maximize your day and find ways to incorporate solutions into your self-care routines.
Since it’s Stress Awareness Month, we caught up with Keanne Owens, LCSW, founder of Journey To Harmony Therapy Center, to talk about these triggers and what Black women can do to manage and cope.
Owens is an experienced South Florida-based counselor and social worker who offers her services via Grow Therapy, a therapy and medication management platform. She has worked with Black women professionals to unpack issues related to workplace stressors. “One is the pressure to perform–having to meet deadlines and deliverables. And a lot of times, these subtle stressors from performance are put upon ourselves as Black women. We want to make sure we’re doing our best. We don’t want to be critiqued in certain ways.”
Excessive micromanagement leading to fear of overly critical bosses is another subtle trigger that can negatively impact Black women in the workplace.
“Whenever something is done wrong, or we experience some type of injustice and have to report it, it’s the fear of retaliation–[fear that] we won’t be taken seriously or [our words] will be taken out of context because of being deemed as the ‘angry Black woman,’” she said.
Black Women And Workplace Stress Triggers
Her sentiments are backed by research. A recent report by Coqual found that 28% of Black women (compared to 17% of White men) say their supervisor uses “excessive control or attention to detail” when managing them. There’s more: A survey by the National Employment Law Project found that Black workers were “more likely to have concerns (80 percent) and twice as likely as white workers (18 percent) to have unresolved concerns at work, with 39 percent reporting they were “not satisfied with the employer’s response or did not raise concerns for fear of retaliation.”
The survey also found that 14 percent of Black respondents said they “avoided raising concerns to their employer for fear of retaliation—more than twice the average rate of 6 percent for all survey respondents.”
Owens pointed to the fact that these subtle stress triggers can negatively impact our physical health and our career advancement. “A lot of time it’ll affect our productivity,” Owens added. “We start to have negative thoughts of ourselves. The stressors can also cause fatigue. We’re no longer meeting or working up to our desired potential.” Other challenges as a result include insomnia and increased insolation, withdrawal, and lack of motivation to apply for jobs or promotions even when qualified.
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How To Manage Subtle Stress Triggers
While there are systemic issues at play for Black women at work that has less to do with us and more to do with major overhauls that must be addressed by the powers that be, there are steps we can take for the betterment of ourselves and our mental health. Owens offered the following tips:
Tap into a support system, whether it’s a coworker you trust, a family member, an organization, or an outlet like a hobby.
Create a good work-life balance before burnout even starts. “Having certain boundaries [is the goal] such as, for example, if you get off at 5, you get off at 5. If your job description is this, you don’t go above and beyond because that brings you to a lot of burnout,” Owens said.
Prioritize self-care, whatever that means for you. “If you don’t have a routine, create one. Practice mindfulness and even some meditation,” she added.
Create structure in your life outside of work. “Even if you have a family, applying some structure in your routine helps relieve stress,” she said.
Get into grounding techniques. “Do a real quick square breathing exercise, that’s literally 30 seconds, or you can do a grounding technique that’s less than two minutes, right there where you are. You don’t need any other materials. That’s something you can do with just yourself and your body.”
Ask for help. “As Black women, we don’t ask for help enough,” she said. “Find where you need to ask for help. A lot of times, people think that’s indicative of weakness, but we need to rewrite that narrative. It’s okay to ask for help where you see fit. [If] you’re a mom, [it could be] every Wednesday from 5 to 6, your children are with the dad. You have to carve out that time.”
For more information on Grow Therapy, visit their website. You can also find out more about Keanne Owens, LCSW, via BeginYourJourneyToHarmony.com.
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