Should Men Be Required To Follow These 6 Proposal Rules?
If you were to ask a millennial woman how she would like for her proposal to go, the answers would probably vary from a small intimate affair with no spectators, to a big blown out half-time show proposal that goes viral.
In this day and age where your next move could make you a social media sensation, the anty has been upped for men to put their best foot forward when asking for a woman's hand in marriage, but according to a meme that has been circulating, most women don't need a lot. They would just like for their man to follow these 6 rules:
With more than 49k pins on Pinterest, the 6 Proposal Rules has taken on a life of its own. But should women hold men to all six rules?
When my Mr. Right decides to pop the question, I don't necessarily have any rules, but I do have one requirement, which is he has to ask my parents for their blessings. If he is the right man for me and the one I will spend my life with, I believe the least he can do is give my parents the respect of giving their blessing.
We decided to ask a few readers what they thought about the idea of Proposal Rules and here are their thoughts:
I Love It!
“I love the popular post going around regarding proposal rules. When the subject of getting married became a reoccurring discussion for us, I shared the rules with my then-boyfriend. He knew I'd like him to get on one knee and to capture it on camera. He thought it would be nice for it to be a surprise and figured I'd want him to ask my parents for their blessing. He didn't realize it was important to me for him to say my full name or that my nails were done (or better yet not a mess lol). So, I was glad that we discussed these rules! And when the time came, he made every effort to make sure that all of these things were checked off or in place for our special moment. Did I mention he proposed to me while I was vacationing with girlfriends in Spain?"
BreAnna D., @Breesfootprints
“I like the idea but I don't want an audience. Just us, simple and intimate. I definitely want my nails done because I want a lot of pictures of that ring on my left ring finger. This is definitely not a bad idea."
Antoinette W., @iammstoni
Don't Need It!
“My then-fiancé did not need to get approval from my family because they already approved of him upon introduction. Complete surprise? No. I knew he was my husband within 60 days. I was very aware it was coming, so when he proposed, I was not surprised at all. He didn't use my name at all, and I didn't care. He spoke in his own voice and that's what I fell in love with anyway. He didn't get on any knee and it wasn't caught on camera because it was just us two. We're an intimate couple. We savor special moments and memories. The last damn thing he was worried about was what my hands looked like. It was more about my heart, and our commitment."
Joanae K., @naetorious
“I used to think that all of those rules had to be followed for a proper engagement. My husband did none of them. My nails weren't done, he didn't ask my dad, didn't get down on one knee—none of the 'traditional' stuff. He actually waited until I was getting ready for bed and said, 'Well, I might as well give this to you now.' Then, (he) rolled over and went to sleep. We've been insanely and happily married for five years. I certainly would have preferred something flashier and more traditional, but I learned that this was his gift to me. He did what he was comfortable with and having a healthy, lasting relationship is much more important that the presentation of the ring!"
Katherine S., @beyoked
“The tradition of asking the family for a person's hand in marriage means a lot to the bride. The fiancé taking the time to include the family, receive blessings, and ask for support is a total thumbs up. A proposal is always a surprise, even if she knows it, it should just be genuine. Speaking her full name is so not necessary unless that is how you talk to her normally. A proposal is an extremely intimate moment shared between the two of you, or intimate family and friends. Don't feel the need to hire photogs. I'm all for a fresh mani! I unfortunately had cracked, dark green polish, but my bling was still brilliant!"
Renee B., @Wiithyu
I Hate It!
“This is so ridiculous and a reason so many women can't be happy with what they have. Why have a laundry list of things a man must do to propose? Why is it HIS job to make sure YOUR nails are done? So, if he doesn't do these things he doesn't love you? Ugh. This is pedantic behavior at its finest."
Roni C., @RoniTheTravelGuru
“I do not agree with all of the rules! I am not big on traditions and I want the moment to be special for us as a pair. I have learned having too many people involved can be a disaster. I am not willing to risk that moment for tradition or to make others happy. However, as a girly girl millennial, I do want my nails done though. *hair flip* Lol."
Jaynay J., @jaynaychanel
What are your thoughts on the 6 Rule Proposal? Do you have rules of your own? Would these rules be a must for you? Be sure to share your thoughts with us. Let's talk!
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Curate The Vibes With These Black-Owned Candles For Every Mood
Black women of the 90s and early 2000s had incense, and Black women of today are fully embracing our luxury candle era. Candles have become just as important as our perfume selections, and as a luxury candle connoisseur, I keep all of my favorites in stock in my storage closet.
Whether you’re moving out for the first time and want to try new scents or looking to set the mood for a self-care day or sexy evening, consider these Black-owned candle brands to curate the vibe you’re looking for.
If You’re Feeling Bad & Bougie
The Original Candle
If you’re the bougie friend of the group, this candle is for you. Hanifa has become a staple luxury brand; with celebs like Tracee Ellis Ross, Jennifer Hudson, Naomi Campbell, and Danielle Brooks seen in her designs, they have become everyone's favorite brand. They recently launched their first candle, The Original. The candle is infused with notes of mandarin, orange blossom, caramel, sandalwood, jasmine sambac, and vanilla.
When Wash Day Comes...
"Wash Day" Candle
Cavo
Need some inspiration to get up and section that hair so you can get to washing? Not to worry. This pineapple, mango coconut milk, and sugar candle will have your house smelling as good as your favorite conditioner.
Wellness Girl Necessity
Sunday in Brooklyn Candle
If you’re a girl who loves clean scents that clear the energy in your home and feel like the best Sunday you ever had, you need this candle. Infused with wild basil and lemongrass, it’s guaranteed to help you find your zen.
For Sunday Brunch If You’re Hosting
Champagne Showers
Champagne Showers is the perfect candle for a birthday celebration, Sunday brunch night in, or toast to your next big win! The candle includes a blend of bright bergamot, peach fizz, and creamy woods. It’s a bubbly fragrance that’s as sophisticated as our girl, Jackie Aina.
After You Listen To SZA
"After A Good Cry" Candle
Cavo
Let the tears flow, and let the healing begin. This rainwater, lavender, vanilla, and bean and bourbon candle is just what the doctor ordered if you’re getting over a breakup. But once you’re done crying, just remember you're worthy of much more, okay?
For The Lover Girl Era
"Love" Luxury Candle
If you’re done crying and have found the one you’ve been waiting for, let this candle burn as warm as your love for your new boo. Harlem Candle Co.'s "Love" fragrance represents a dramatic, romantic theme with both masculine and feminine accords melding beautifully together, infused with crisp apple and watery green notes.
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