Radio Host Tracy G On Changing Careers 3 Times: "I've Never Been A Slave To A Job Title"
The sweltering sun is playing hide-and-seek in lower Manhattan this afternoon as Tracy G. approaches a makeshift bench in front of her alma mater Pace University.
In this moment, the on-air edutainer fuses seamlessly with scattering students swinging doors to and fro as they make their way around the city campus. The average passerby doesn't speculate that the woman clad in all black fitness attire is Tracy G., the woman who lends her voice to the masses every weekday morning beside radio giant Sway Calloway and hip-hop aficionado Heather B. on SiriusXM.
"A lot of times in radio, people think you are a full-time extrovert, but I don't want to talk all the time," the Sway In The Morning co-host admits with respect to her incognito outfit of the day. Yet, before sneaking in a few lone hours to work on her wellness brand She's Beauty And The Beast, Tracy G. graciously scribbles me into her schedule to take a trip down memory lane.
Before stepping foot on Pace University's campus as a freshman, the one-time aspiring fashion designer loosened her grip on fleeting runway dreams during a trial-and-error semester at the Fashion Institute of Technology. She suddenly realized--as many young adults do--that her mother's reservations were not out of sync with the truth. This was not her calling. "I literally hollered at Google as my life coach at the time, and I put in 'writing, entertainment industry, sales and talking,' and I came up with this term 'public relations,'" she recalls of the first of three career changes to unfold in her life.
The Brooklyn native got to work immediately after transferring to Pace, landing a myriad of internships in her field throughout the breadth of her collegiate journey. Then, the summer before her senior year, a New York Women in Communications panel threw a dart in her unsuspecting plans. A full-time job offer at a renowned PR firm was on the table, but a burgeoning fervor for journalism relentlessly vied for her attention, prompting her to reevaluate her next move. "When I was literally holding a tangible piece of my dream in my hands, I realized this is not it," Tracy G. reflects. "I wanted my loyalty to be to the people rather than to the product."
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As graduation day loomed ahead, Tracy incorporated journalism courses including a graduate class with former ESSENCE Managing Editor Denolyn Carroll, fittingly titled "Writing for Magazines," into her scheme while closing the deal on a spring internship with VIBE after her friend, who completed the program in the fall, put in a good word for her.
"VIBE was very intense," she says, accentuating each word. “This boss a** lady Shirea [Carroll] remolded you into someone of use." The respect for her former internship coordinator, then the executive assistant to former VIBE Editor-in-Chief Danyel Smith, is evident as she gushes with a smile and good-hearted laughter at the flashback.
While she managed to win Carroll over, Tracy understood that she couldn't delude herself into thinking one favorable impression was enough to turn her internship into a promising career. "I'm always just looking at how I can maximize the opportunity that's been presented to me," she begins. "I literally had informationals with everyone there because I was like if I'm ever going to get a job, it can't just be one person vouching for me."
As she collected a grand jar of gems from top-dog journalists within and outside of VIBE (for the first time on record, she discloses she once compiled a list of her favorite writers' email addresses when left to assume assistant duties at Caroll's desk for an hour), she didn't neglect to build relationships with the hopeful scribes she rubbed shoulders with every day. "Often when we're in the infancy stages of our career, we forget that our peers and the people we're interning with are probably going to make it into positions alongside us."
Though her revelation certainly would assist her on the cusp of a career shift to radio years later, a semester at VIBE didn't result in a hiring opportunity as quickly as the spirited intern had hoped. "I was devastated. I melted into a sour puddle of shame," she proclaims as she transports back in time to rehash her immediate reaction to the disheartening news. In a meteoric flash, she re-enters her charismatic, self-assured realm of being.
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"What kind of biography would it be if everything went my way?" she asks, shutting the door on the recollection. "It's not going to resonate."
Instead of shriveling in defeat, the rising writer, once exclusively known as Tracy Garraud, tirelessly pushed her pen and landed bylines in Honey, Complex and XXL before returning to her home base. "Eventually, because the universe has a hell of a sense of humor, it turns into me getting a position at VIBE full circle." The former full-time editor describes her relationship with writing as a monogamous one during her tenure under Editor-in-Chief Jermaine Hall. "I wake up to find myself cuddling with my freaking MacBook," she confesses. “Writing was my everything."
It's not hard to think what happened as Tracy details the untainted love she once had for her craft. "I was around so many f**king brilliant brains," she says of her team as she flips through the highs of her work environment before answering my unexpressed inquiry about the hurdles that got in the way. "I felt like I was a leg on the clickbait monster," she muses without a hint of animosity in her tone. "We all evolve. I've never been a slave to a job title because if anything happens to that title, your whole identity can crumble."
She began toying with the idea of closing her chapter at the legacy publication, a decision she made official in November 2011, once an untapped passion crept out of the shadows of her comfort zone. "I love the art of communication and humanizing people. I like finding the thread that connects me to you and us to the width of the world so radio started calling me."
The year that followed proved to be arduous, however, as she attempted to transfer her skills to the microphone. "It's not like I had Sway Calloway's number on speed dial," she says of her start in radio business, which took form when she co-hosted a short-lived podcast for clothing brand LRG with fellow Pace graduate Shine Travis. She admits the venture was a gamble at the time, considering podcasts had yet to reach their spike in popularity. "I'm not hard on myself if I did my best. If I did my best, and it doesn't work out, that's when I really have to lean on my faith because my life is a collaboration with God."
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A chance encounter with music industry insider Amber Ravenel at a Carol Daughter's event fueled her efforts before she could get trapped in a web of uncertainty. "I never told her anything about radio," she reveals in reference to the woman who connected her with SiriusXM Program Director Reggie Hawkins. This was her shot, but the winning buzzer didn't sound off until October 2012, when she finally landed her gig at Sway In The Morning after months of pitching ideas, auditioning and following up.
"You have to humble yourself and say I'm at the bottom of the totem pole so it's my responsibility to keep up this relationship because they're at the top of my to-do list. I'm not at the top of theirs," she says of her unshakable go-getter mindset.
On the day of our meeting, Tracy G. is gearing up to release #TeamYesSleep, a "turn down alarm" for the millennial woman who needs a gentle but firm reminder to indulge in necessary me-time before going to bed at night. It's one of the many good-for-the-soul finds on She's Beauty And The Beast.
Since its inception last year, the brand has been crossing the bridge from passion project to entrepreneurial business, but Tracy G. clarifies that she didn't set out to create a side hustle for the mere sake of having something to call her own. "My brain was in a really f**king cloudy place, and I needed to figure out how to perform self-therapy."
She immersed herself in the healing force of audio vision boards after tuning into a Joel Osteen sermon where the acclaimed televangelist challenged his congregation to craft 10 empowering affirmations that would renew their psyches.
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"I don't write basic sh*t," the self-proclaimed personal development junkie reminds me. "I write as if something is going to be plastered on somebody's wall."
Her first EP Love, Light and That Good Sh*t, chock full of affirmations like her personal favorite, “I will not forget my blessings when faced with my burdens," is not only a testament to her unfailing, yet ever-evolving relationship with her pen, but also a reflection of her decision to embrace the power of her voice. "I've been able to understand my voice as an instrument and as a match to light someone's fire," she says when staring at the sum of her career trajectory's various parts.
It's the reason why, weeks after our sit down, she launched She's Beauty And The Beast: The Podcast with Tracy G. "I'm still flesh, bones and blood," she tells me of her initial reservations to add her weekly series to a mounting pile of podcasts on the Internet. "I'm not going to escape certain feelings so when me and these feelings meet on the block, it's just a matter of do I invite them in or do I keep it moving?"
In the name of emotional empowerment, she drops new episodes every Tuesday that unveil her life theories, experiences and conversations with guest voices. "So many people go through similar events in life, but they tell the story differently," she adds. "There's so many more topics I want to explore, and there's so many more opinions, ideas and expertise that I want to share from other dope a** humans that's not necessarily coming from my own lens on life."
Although Tracy G. is far beyond her wide-eyed intern days at VIBE, she's in no hurry to quit being a student in the world of entertainment.
“You're fighting your own expiration date of relevancy when you are focused more on quantity versus quality," she says while addressing alternative--and often quick--roads to success in an era where social media and reality TV prevail.
“People have different agendas, and they're allowed to have that."
As far as her story goes, she's content with not taking shortcuts to lasting influence. "I'm doing the best in the role that I'm in, but I can't even begin to act as if I'm on the same level as a Sway Calloway. Me saying that would be saying I don't have any more to learn."
While we prepare to part ways, I finally decipher the tattoo etched on Tracy G.'s left wrist--Carpe Diem. It's a principle--seize the day--that she has unarguably weaved throughout her approach to life's fluctuating winds. "I don't want to be in a state of perfection because you don't grow there," she says, twisting the lid on our hour-long conversation. “I want to be a partner in progression with people."
For more Tracy G., find her here, here, & here.
Shanice Davis is a proud alumna of Howard University who earned her BA in English in May 2016. The emerging writer currently contributes to VIBE Magazine. Follow her on Instagram & Twitter: @alwayshanice
Shanice Davis is a writer from New York, dedicated to illuminating women of color and Caribbean culture with her pen. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter: @alwayshanice.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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These 11 Married Couples Share Their Keys To Long-Term Marital Success
The late actor Audrey Hepburn once said something that I think a lot of married couples who have at least 10 years under their belt will agree with: “If I get married, I want to be very married.” In my mind, this means very committed, very complementary, and very willing to go the distance — otherwise, what’s the point?
Really, what’s the point?
Thing is, with the divorce rate still being higher than it ever should be (for the record, a husband is not a boyfriend, and a wife is not a girlfriend; a marriage is serious business, y’all) and acting married being praised (or at least acknowledged) more than actually being married seems to be — folks who 1) are married and are looking for some hacks that will help with relational longevity or 2) want to be married someday and want insight on how to make their future marriage last are constantly seeking truly beneficial material.
Can you Google articles with random bullet points? Sure. And I’m not discouraging it. Every little bit of wisdom that you can pull, I fully support. However, the reason why I like to do articles like this one from time to time is there is something to be said from hearing real talk from multiple sources on the same topic who have some solid wisdom and knowledge on a particular topic.
Today? 11 married couples who were willing to talk about how they’ve been able to make it to several wedding anniversaries with a smile on their face and no regrets for choosing who they chose. Let’s all sit at their feet for just a moment.
*Middle names are always used in my content that’s like this so that people can speak freely*
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1. Kyle and Adrienne. Married 12 Years.
Kyle: “Some of your readers aren’t going to want to hear this but it’s worked for my marriage: people need to lower their expectations sometimes; I mean, men and women. We go into marriage with stuff that movies told us, social media told us, friends who are always single told us about what we should expect from someone, and then want to fault the person when they’re not what we made up in our head. Everyone should have standards but if you’re expecting your spouse to be some living version of a fairy tale character, you’re going to be disappointed almost every day of your life. Drop those expectations some and watch your relationship be a lot less stressful.”
Adrienne: “Talk to people who respect your man about your marriage. I’ve never believed that you shouldn’t ever go to anyone when you need some support. Even the Bible says that there is safety in wise counsel [Proverbs 11:4]. Too many women talk to women who don’t respect men, in general, let alone their husbands, and so that’s where things go left. Sometimes, you need an ‘outside in’ perspective. But if that woman is always taking shots at men, doesn’t respect marriage, or isn’t someone who holds your man in high regard, don’t ask her for advice. Really, you should ask yourself why you’re friends with her at all.”
Shellie here: I’m big on engaged and married couples having a “village” of sorts for their relationship, too. Check out “Why Every Engaged Couple Needs A 'Marriage Registry'” to get a good idea of what I mean.
2. Levi and Paulette. Married for 15 Years.
Levi: “Some of you have probably heard of the 7-7-7 rule. It’s where couples go on a date every seven days, have a weekend getaway every seven weeks, and go on a romantic trip of some sort every seven months. My wife and I do the 2-2-2 rule instead because sometimes our schedule and budget make ‘7’ difficult. It has gotten easier since Shellie told us about the sex jar. Bottom line, if you’re waiting for time to just open up to be with your spouse, that ain’t gonna happen. Schedule intimacy, including sex. Prioritizing it is better than saying you’re gonna be spontaneous and…never are.”
Paulette: “Initiate sex, dammit. When Shellie told us that men initiate sex most of the time, and then I thought about how often I used to push my husband away whenever he did it — I never really thought about how that made him feel until I put myself in his shoes. We’ve got to stop having all of this understanding for why women cheat when it comes to them not feeling desired or not getting attention when we’re the same way to our husbands. Your marriage isn’t ‘Young and the Restless’, where you’re just supposed to wait for your man to make the move. If you want to feel wanted, do the same thing for him.”
Shellie here: What’s a sex jar, you ask? You can read more about it via “5 Reasons Why Every Married Couple Needs A Sex Jar.”
3. Matthew and Gaia. Married for 17 Years.
Matthew: “Reenact some of your favorite times together. My wife and I do that semi-often. We’ll go back to where we had our first date, or we’ll go back to the hotel where we had some of the best sex before. Bringing back memories of when you felt the best together can give you the motivation to stay together to create some new memories to ‘play out’ later on.”
Gaia: “If you want to ‘mom your husband,’ you need to have kids — or at least get a dog! I didn’t realize how bossy I was until I got married. It’s because I saw my mom be that way with my dad. In my eyes, I thought that’s what love looked like until I watched how my in-laws were. They don’t try to change each other, and they definitely don’t make any demands. They’re very polite. I think a lot of married people are rude to their partner. Don’t be that.”
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4. Joseph and Carletta. Married for 10 Years.
Joseph: “Go to therapy for your childhood. I’m dead serious. No one is going to show you yourself like your wife will, and I realized that a lot of my hang-ups came from unhealed childhood stuff. It’s hard to be an adult in your marriage when you’re still emotionally a kid in a lot of ways. If you’re at the point where you think therapy is needed, go alone and deal with your childhood first. It did miracles for me and mine.”
"No one is going to show you yourself like your wife will, and I realized that a lot of my hang-ups came from unhealed childhood stuff. It’s hard to be an adult in your marriage when you’re still emotionally a kid in a lot of ways."
Carletta: “Meditate together once a day. Even if it’s just for 5-10 minutes, you need to carve out a moment to be mindful, focus on each other, and slow the world down. [Joseph and I] have been doing it for a couple of years now; it’s totally changed the way we communicate. Meditation reminds us to put each other first; that if we’re focused on each other, we can take on…whatever.”
5. Zeke and Rachelle. Married for 12 Years.
Zeke: “An argument is not a fight and a debate is not an argument. Learn that and you’re home-free. That’s all I got.”
Rachelle: “That advice that you just got? That sums up what it’s like to live with my husband. He’s very cut-and-dry, direct, and not wordy. That used to bug the hell out of me until I realized how wordy I was and then accepted that I wouldn’t want ‘two of me’ in the house [LOL]. He’s right. You can have a difference of opinion, and it be a debate. You can not find a middle ground on something and it turns into an argument. Neither of those is a red flag. It just comes with being with someone who is as much of an individual as you are.”
6. Taurus and Madison. Married for 22 Years.
Taurus: “Be prepared for your partner to change — not a couple of times, quite a bit. And when they change, that alters the relationship because now it’s not the person you stood with on your wedding day; it’s someone else. People get divorced so much because they are inflexible; they expect their spouse to never switch up and that’s just not how life is. If you’re rigid, controlling, or don’t know how to adjust, you don’t need to marry anybody. You’re gonna be miserable, and so will they.”
Madison: “Pray before sex. Before my husband and I got married, we had quite a bit of sexual history that caused us to do some comparing, and that led to resentment. In marriage, we had to adjust to how it’s more than just what we’re getting from another person. Married sex comes with so much more spirituality and responsibility. Prayer before sex reminds us to see it from a spiritual lens — and that makes the experience more intense and sacred. It might sound weird at first. Just try it. I don’t think you’ll regret it at all.”
"Married sex comes with so much more spirituality and responsibility. Prayer before sex reminds us to see it from a spiritual lens — and that makes the experience more intense and sacred."
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7. Karl and LaTasha. Married for 9 Years.
Karl: “Check in with your partner twice a day. In the morning before leaving the house and at night before going to sleep. If you work outside of the home, a lot can happen during the course of one day, so you shouldn’t assume that the person you left in the morning is who you are coming home to. I don’t mean sharing each other’s schedules or to-do lists. I mean, asking your spouse, ‘How are you doing? How are you really doing?’. It’s a smart way to take note of their mood and needs so that you are never blindsided.”
LaTasha: “Give each other some privacy. I have never been the kind of woman to go through a man’s phone, and I won’t start. If you think that you have to be a detective in your relationship, why are you in it in the first place? I know that Karl would give me codes and passwords if I wanted them because we’ve talked about it all before. Knowing that he would is enough for me. Marriage is an institution, but damn, it shouldn’t feel like jail.”
8. Thomas and Wynter. Married for 15 Years.
Thomas: “Ask your partner what their sexual needs are. Never assume that they haven’t changed because if we all agree that we are constantly growing and evolving as people, why would sex be exempt? Don’t personalize what they say about it either. All of us have sexual fantasies and interests that we keep to ourselves because we don’t know what our partner will think or ‘cause we think that they will create stories in their head about what made us think that way. I’ve learned that intimacy is feeling okay with sharing the deep stuff. The more comfortable a man, especially, is with doing that, the better the sex will be for everyone because talking about stuff like that is like taking down some walls.”
Wynter: “It’s okay to take one vacation a year with your girls and one by yourself. Just don’t go with people who don’t have the same standards as you, and as far as your solo venture, it doesn’t need to be longer than a long weekend. One thing that they don’t tell you about marriage is how there are times when you will feel like it is monotonous because of the routine of everything. A girls’ trip reminds you to get back to you outside of being someone’s wife or mom, and the trip alone is when you can sit around and do whatever you have to negotiate most of them. And yes, your man should be given the same courtesy.”
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9. Allen and Yvette. Married for 11 Years.
Allen: “STOP. BRINGING. UP. OLD. SH-T. SH-T. Nothing creates walls in a marriage more than you telling someone that you forgave them, and then the minute something else happens, here you go with the rap sheet of wrongs. Forgiving someone means that you are pardoning them, and that’s not what you’re doing if you’re constantly holding stuff over their head. One thing that marriage will show you is how bad of a forgiver you are. Most people suck at it, if we’re gonna be real about it.”
Yvette: “I already know that some women are going to assume that my man must’ve done something to say all of that (LOL). He’s a much better forgiver than I am, believe it or not. The real plot twist is, what gets on his nerves more than anything, is when I bring up stuff that he’s forgiven me for. Allen is the kind of man [who] hates to live in the past. I’ve grown a lot because of that. I think my advice would be to stay focused on solutions and tomorrow instead of problems and yesterday.”
Allen: “Sh- t, that’s bars, babe!”
Shellie here: INDEED.
10. Brennton and Danyelle. Married for 16 Years.
Brennton: “Why anyone who is trash at forgiving would get married is beyond me. It’s delusional to the nth degree to think that you are worthy of forgiveness and others aren’t — or that what you do isn’t ‘as bad,’ and that’s why you deserve forgiveness and others don’t. My wife and I have a lot of time under our belts. I’m here to tell you that there will be something, daily, that you will need to forgive your partner for on some level. If you can’t see yourself being open to that, marriage simply isn’t for you.”
Danyelle: “I don’t know who taught so many of us that being passive-aggressive will get us what we want, but it’s a damn lie. If something is wrong, stop saying ‘nothing’ when your man asks you what’s up because, if you’ve got a man like mine, he’s gonna say ‘Okay’ and go on about his day. Brennton often says that my refusing to speak isn’t his responsibility, it’s mine. That used to piss me off because, deep down, I knew that he was right. Oh, and chill on the grudge-holding too. With guys, that’s not going to get you anywhere either.”
11. Christopher and Yvonne. Married for 26 Years.
Christopher: “Have more loyalty for your spouse than you do your closest friend. Too many people don’t think like that. If you’ve got a friend since college, you’ve been through some things and you’ve learned to forgive and move past it. If you can’t see your wife or husband in this way, why did you get married? You should never have more grace for someone who you didn’t take vows with; that’s ludicrous. Before anyone else, I’m going to prioritize reconciling with my wife. It’s because I value her more than anyone. That’s what marriage is.”
"Before anyone else, I'm going to prioritize reconciling with my wife. It's because I value her more than anyone. That's what marriage is."
Yvonne: “Even if you’re not about ‘traditional gender roles,’ discuss what the expectations are for the home. People don’t divorce over cheating as much as getting sick of beard clippings in the bathroom sink or cars that look like pocketbooks. When you sign up for marriage, you are doing daily life with another person. Articulate your expectations. Listen to theirs. Be flexible until you both can make it work. Do that, and you’ll look up, and it’s been 20 years already.”
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Gems. Pure gems, y’all.
You know, popular consultant Barbara De Angelis once said, “Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day.” And love? Love is a choice.
And so, whether you’re married, engaged, or simply desire marriage in the future, hopefully, these tips will help you to choose how you love your spouse (or future spouse)…better.
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