How Maya Washington Built An Empire On Shameless Self-Promotion
For YouTube star Shameless Maya, each day starts off just like any other nine-to-fiver. Born Maya Washington, the Toronto-native/LA-transplant wakes up at 6:30 a.m. to read the Bible, squeezes in a session with her personal trainer, then beats her face for the gods before heading off to work.
By 10 a.m., the spirited social media personality is swimming in a pile of emails, pre-production planning, and video shoots. "Before we shoot anything, we gotta come up with ideas and storyboard, then we send it to get approved [by brands]. We go buy what we need, take photos, flat lay it, then send it for approval. There's a bunch of back and forth about the final edit. They want me to cut this out, they wanna cut that out. I would say, it's maybe two or three rounds of edits."
It's all in a day's work for this 34-year-old creative producer.
"I thought it was cheesy, tacky, and shameless," she says of her YouTube beginnings. "I went into it as a social media experiment on what would happen if I was shameless of a year and see where it would take me." And it truly paid off.
Since starting her channel in 2012, Washington's ability to be transparent with her followers about personal topics, such as her divorce and why she ultimately decided to shave her head, has helped her snag a following of millions of subscribers across her social media platforms. Her brightly colored beauty tutorials, inspirational online diary entries, and informative tech reviews keep her rolling in dough. Most recently, she has collaborated with brands such as Target, CoverGirl, and Google Store. In 2014, she landed an opportunity of a lifetime as art director for Prince's Art Official Age album. While she doesn't disclose the amount she was paid by The Purple One, in a video, she says, "I hadn't ever seen money like that at this point in my life."
Don't Knock the Hustle
It's evident that being a YouTube star can lead to a pretty comfortable lifestyle. However, there's a common misconception that living life in front of the camera is all play and no work. Flip on a camera, turn on your charm and get paid, right? Well, not so much. Along with extensive planning, especially for branded content, Washington sometimes has to fight for creative control. "I had one brand tell me to stop saying 'homegirl' and 'boo.' I was so frustrated, like, no, you can't tell me what I can and can't say. That's how I talk to my viewers. I had to learn to stand up for myself because it's my voice."
While dealing with brands and cashing checks can be tough, the hardest career challenge for Washington is learning to lead. There's a learning curve in evolving from independent worker to operating a full-fledged brand. "I don't like telling people what to do," she admits. "I've never had a manager position in life. Like, I've never been a supervisor or anything of that. I've always been kind of like a worker bee. I'd work for companies as a production assistant or an intern, so to go from those types of positions to working by myself was challenging. I have to study and read books on how to be a leader."
To balance out her weaknesses, this HBIC is building a strong team and learning how to delegate day-to-day tasks. While positive energy is the number one requirement for people on her Shameless squad, there are a few other major keys to success in Maya's World. "Are you hustler and do you work hard? There's so much to be done when you start off small. I do everything, so I'm looking for someone who is down to do everything and then some. I have issues with organization and staying on top of my calendar, so I needed someone who is exceptionally detail-oriented, which I found. I like thinking outside of the box, too, so if you have other passions, it's a plus."
Before the YouTube Fame
Though Washington seems to have it all––the money, the career, and, the squad––for a long time, her relationship status still read single.
At the age of 22, she met the man who would become her husband and they married when she was 26. Unfortunately, their marriage succumbed to their differences in life goals and five years later, the curly girl finally got a divorce. While recovering from her heartbreak, she threw all her energy into her work. It was not only a much-needed distraction from her rocky romantic life, but also a time to for her to heal as a woman.
"A lot of people when they leave relationships, they rebound," she says. "You go on dates and try to distract yourself. And that's part of it. But once you get all of that outta your system, you have to look inward and figure out how to be the best person you can be. You can distract yourself, but know that if you do that, you're gonna run into issues. I was so angry and always coming into confrontations. I literally had to reprogram everything about me. I'm genuinely happy with the woman I've become and now I can say I'm ready to date."
Braving the world of Tinder swipes and first dates seems pretty daunting, but Washington is equipped with the biggest lesson she's learned from her failed marriage. "When I got married, I was making decisions based on feelings, but as an adult, I have to do a checklist before I allow myself to get carried away. Do you have a good family background? Are you a positive, happy person? Do you believe in God? I have to check all those things off. Because once you let your feelings go, it's game over. Before you let your heart get carried away, take your brain with you."
No matter what's ahead, Washington is passionate about inspiring and spreading her youthful joy. And who can even be mad at that? Be shameless and do you, boo!
Find out more about Shameless Maya by following her on YouTube!
Originally published in 2016
Images courtesy of Maya Washington
Niki McGloster is a Maryland-based writer and co-founder of her sweat. She has written for ESSENCE, Genius, Billboard, VIBE and Teen Vogue. Follow her on Twitter at @missjournalism.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LISTÂ HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images