Having a successful career and love is something that we all want, right? Journalist Amy Elisa Jackson is someone that has been fortunate enough to marry the love of her life, while also serving as a powerhouse in the journalism industry.
Amy Elisa has had her work published in PEOPLE, Ebony, and Essence Magazine, as well as MSN, Business Insider, and Fast Company. She has penned top cover stories with Tyra Banks, Magic Johnson, and Mariah Carey, just to name a few, so I felt as though she'd be the perfect go-getter to sit down with and chat about the balancing act that comes with being a career-oriented woman.
In a little less than an hour, Amy Elisa spoke to my soul while giving me the tea on herself and her career journey. I laughed, and typed away, while trying to fully soak in not only the moment, but all of the bomb advice that she was giving me. Read more about this amazing woman below and get ready to receive genuine advice that you can apply to your professional and personal lives.
What is your 30 second elevator pitch?
My name is Amy Elisa Jackson, I’ve been a journalist and content creator for the past 10 years in the entertainment and lifestyle space. I am proud Stanford graduate, wife, friend, sister, auntie, LA girl, ride or die, bougie to the end.
Can you describe your personal brand in three words?
Witty, lighthearted, and down to earth.
What type of things have you done in your career that has helped you develop your personal brand and reach the level of success that you have now?
A couple of things, first never shying away from speaking engagements. I’ve always been honored when asked to speak or to moderate a panel. One of my first speaking engagements was for PEOPLE magazine and I was doing a fashion show for our "Best & Worst Dressed" issue. I had never done anything like that before and I was nervous, but I did well. Never shying away from those opportunities to step out from behind the keyboard has served me really well.
[Tweet "Never shy away from opportunities."]
Second, I’ve always been very conscious of creating a space where people can find more info about me. I never made any of my social media accounts private. I’ve always been pretty open—the good, the bad, the ratchet, the Christian--all in one. Early on, I created an About Me page, because I thought that it was very important for people to connect with me and see my clips. I now have my own website that isn’t a blog, but is simply my work.
The third thing in terms of branding, and I really, really, really emphasize this one: get a great headshot taken. After I left PEOPLE Magazine, I knew that no matter what I wanted to do next, I needed a face and some type of good representation so I took headshots. I spent $500 and I still have the exact same headshots right now, but consistently you will see the same pictures from me. I really encourage young women to go take really good headshots. Everyone can tell when you have profile picture from when you were at the club. Yes, your face is beat and you looked cute, but there is professional day makeup and night makeup.
What are your thoughts about having different personas on social media?
I think that the person you want the world to receive is the person you put on social media. I am transparent because what I deliver in person is exactly what I am fine with the outside world receiving.
[Tweet "The person you are on social media should be consistent on all accounts. "]
I also believe that there is nothing bad with scrubbing your social media accounts and completely cleaning them out. Also, there should always be a genuine spirit about your social media and whatever presence is out there because people know when it's fake.
What were some of the steps that you took while in college to prepare for your career?
When I was in school, I petitioned to take graduate level classes as an undergrad. I wanted to get more out of my undergraduate experience, so I wanted to take higher-level classes.
I think that no matter where you are, it’s important to not take “no” for an answer. “No” does not mean “no” to me, it means “hold on, while we figure it out.” I think that when you are paying $50,000 or when you are paying $10,000 to go to school, you absolutely need to make it work for you. Be tenacious. You can hack your way into getting the education that you want.
In school, I wrote for the Stanford Daily, and I wrote for and edited the Stanford African-American newspaper called The Real News. The summer after my freshman year, I interned for Russell Simmons’ OneWorld magazine. The summer after my junior year, I interned at Source magazine, and Lord Jesus, I was paid $60 a week! $60 a week in New York City was not a game, but I learned a tremendous amount about how to carry myself, having poise, being cool and calm under pressure— and cool and calm under ratchet.
[Tweet "Be cool and calm under pressure, and cool and calm under ratchet."]
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I see that you heavily assisted with the launch of Cocoa Fab. What advice do you have for someone that wants to launch their own website?
[During the launch of CocoaFab] I followed the lead of the founders Angela Burt-Murray and Shelly Jones Jennings. The site was already in the incubation stages and needed content so Angela, one of my mentors, called me and I eagerly accepted.
When it comes to launching a company, know the space. Too often, especially in the blog space, people are so eager to launch. Doing your market research and knowing where you fit in the marketplace is important. Knowing how to monetize is really important, and getting really quality writers and a quality website are key. You need to also have a savings to launch anything to be an entrepreneur. You need money you can pay rent with, and to invest in your company. Anyone who is going to invest in you and take time to hear your [business] pitch wants to know that you have skin in the game. It’s very hard to go out and pitch to angel investors or anyone else if you have not invested your own money.
[Related: From Radio to Real Estate: Egypt Sherrod Dishes On Her Leap Of Faith, Smart Investments, & Balance]
What advice do you have for minority women in the tech industry on standing out?
I believe that we have to work twice as hard as our competition and know twice as much and be twice as good. Believing this has made me stronger and has taught me more.
One of the challenges that women deal with in the workplace is clarity in the workspace. Talking to your manager, having a great working relationship, and telling them about your expectations are important. Ask them about their work style, how they communicate, and their measures of success. For example, if you value feedback, you can tell your manager that. If you don’t prefer socializing in the workplace, you have to voice that to your manager, but also propose some other ways to build camaraderie.
Also, be clear about your talents. Levo has a really great app called Thinking Talents. Your Thinking Talents are things that define you as a worker, employee, and a passionate person. Understanding yourself and what you bring to the table is really half the battle and conveying those things is the other half.
What is the greatest opportunity that you’ve received?
When I started at PEOPLE mag I was an intern in 2005, and the greatest opportunity that I had in that space was, one, being hired full time as a writer/reporter. While there, I was really dead set on writing an amazing feature and pitching Tyra Banks. The idea that my editor-in-chief trusted me enough to give me such a major exclusive and follow my gut was huge, that was in 2007, and was really early in my career. The moment gave me my “beat” in covering women’s health and body image, but also in covering African-Americans for PEOPLE magazine.
Many young women struggle with desiring a relationship and career. What type of advice do you have for someone that wants love, but still wants to be a boss in the workplace?
Number one, prepare yourself. If you go to high school to prepare for college, and college to prepare for your career, you have to prepare for marriage. You will not be a wife overnight. You cannot be a mother overnight. Get yourself ready to open up to someone else, to tackles someone else’s challenges, to answer your own questions about what you want out of life and what drives you, what inspires you, what motivates you, what stimulates you. Now I’m not talking about what Beyoncé says is important or what Instagram says, but really knowing for yourself. Knowing you so much so that you can convey it to someone else.
[Tweet "Be prepared for yourself before you are preparing for someone else. "]
I knew my husband in college but we didn’t date then; we reconnected at a Stanford football game in 2011. When we went on our first few dates, I didn’t shy away from being honest about wanting to date with the goal of finding a husband. When you are very clear, and you know what it is that you want, that is helpful. Also, my actions led him to understand and believe that. I knew very soon that he was the one and that he could be the head of my household. We’re such a great team; he’s my forever jumpoff.
Also, I don’t believe in fixing a man!
There are things that you can work on and work with-- if that’s what he wants. I think too often we go down a path trying to fix, mend, and grow, and often times that is not smart. Men really do know what they want and what they are ready for. They are very clear, very honest, simple, easy people. We tend to complicate things. Believe him the first time, and watch what he does, not just what he says.
[Related: Sage the Gemini Reminds Us That When It's Real, He Will Make It Official]
What changes do your foresee in the journalism industry in the next five years?
The biggest shift will be in how stories are told. I think you will see a lot more video integration, a lot more on the ground reporting, and a lot more iPhone, Periscope, and Skype chat interviews. I think long-form features will come back, and opinion writing will come back stronger than ever. I think there will be an increase in Millennial opinion writers and a diversity of Millennial content.
What is your personal work philosophy?
Hustle hard, but live life to the fullest. I think self-care and balance are really important. But do I work myself into the ground overnight? No, I won’t do that anymore. But I’ve earned the right to do that. I’ve earned my place in life to do that. That was not always the case. I’ve worked really hard for ten years straight and now I’m in a different place where my focus is on my family. I learned a while ago, don’t judge your starting line by someone else’s finish line.
[Tweet "Don’t judge your starting line with my finish line."]
I think that hustling hard, but living live to the fullest is one of the most important things that we can learn from Amy. Leave us a comment below on how Amy's words have inspired you.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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Featured image by Shutterstock
We spoke to NYC-based experience curator and owner of POP! by Yaz, Yasmin “Yaz” Quiles, to help guide first-timers. According to Yasmin, an experience curator is “someone who not only focuses on an actual event but the entire experience, and that can mean anything from the first point of contact, things from an invitation, a website, all the way to the end and after effects.”
If you are hosting the holidays in your home, it is important to touch on all of these points so that your guests can have an experience to remember. Here are the steps to successfully host family and friends for the holidays.
1.Plan and Organize:
Before people start showing up to your house, you must plan out what you need and for how many people. It's also a great time to be creative. “The first part is the dream part because it’s the fun part. What do I envision my event to look like? What do I want my people to feel when they come to my space? Ask all of the questions for the first point of contact,” says Yasmin. “What kind of invitation [am I using?] Who am I inviting? What kind of music are we listening to? The food. So, you start thinking about what the vision is, and then after the dreaming, you organize your thoughts.”
That includes putting together a budget. “See what you have access to, what you need help with, and what you may need to outsource,” she advises. Meaning, this is the time to decide if you and your family will be cooking or if everyone will chip in to get dinner catered.
2.Repurpose Your Items:
Photo courtesy of Yasmin Quiles
As you continue to plan and organize, it's important to take stock of what you already have at home. This can also help you stay within budget. If you have a limited budget then start thinking about how to utilize what you already have in a innovative way.
“I also like to start with inventory. What [are] items in your house that you can use? That way you can determine what it is that you have to get,” she suggests. “I feel like a lot of people always put together a list and it's always 'buy, buy, buy, buy,' versus ‘oh, wait a minute, I actually do have some things that I can utilize and I can just use it in a different way.’”
For example, “Utilizing a console as a small bar area or creating fake fireplaces. I think there are ways to use items in your space so that you don’t have to continue to fill it up with new things.”
3.Make Your Guests Feel Like They Are at Home:
Ever heard the saying, "mi casa es su casa?" You want your space to make guests feel like a home away from home and having a cozy place to sleep plays a major part in that. Be realistic about how many people you can fit comfortably in your home. “Figure out how much space you have in your house and how many people you can truly accommodate,” she says. “What that means is even if you have a two-bedroom apartment, what are some creative ways you can create some space for them? Is it an air mattress or is it getting a hotel that is close to you; Airbnb's?”
You also want to provide your guests with the necessary accouterments and the gift of convenience. If you have certain rituals in your home, you want to make sure your guests can also participate in them. “What I love to do with my guests, I always love to make them feel like they're at home even when they are not, so I like to replicate the things I love in a hotel room. In our house we take off our shoes so we always have disposable slippers here that people can slide on or brand new socks in a basket,” she explains. “That way they can feel immediately comfortable the moment they pass the threshold in your house."
"And in the bathroom or if there’s a powder room, I like to put together a little welcome basket and it can be something as simple as here’s your towel, here’s your washcloth, all the little toiletries you may need," she adds. "I give them their own little stash, that way they don’t feel like they’re burdening me by asking, 'oh, do you have q-tips' or whatever it is. It’s all already set up there for them and it makes them feel so welcome and thought of.”
4.Food and Entertainment:
Photo courtesy of Yasmin Quiles
Along with welcome baskets, the Afro-Latina entrepreneur also enjoys putting lists together with a few of her recommendations. Think, welcome lists you receive at hotels and Airbnb. “I’ll put together a short list of my favorite restaurants, my favorite channels or shows to watch that way they can be entertained while I’m doing other things,” she says.
The holidays involve a lot of cooking and so going out to eat may not be an option. But neither is eating mac and cheese, collard greens, and ham all day, every day. So, it's best to provide options for your guests. “When people go to other people’s homes, they really want the house experience so eating out is great, it’s fine, but I think it really makes people happy when immediately there at home at your house," explains Yasmin.
"What I like to do is immediately have an assortment of snacks available and that means everything from the folks that are on a diet to folks who want to indulge and have a little bit of everything. That way we have a good selection. And [I like to have] things that can be left out for a couple of days as well so I’m thinking pre-packaged items that way [they can] 'grab and go.'”
5.Activities:
When having guests stay over for a few days, you should want to do more than just stay in and look at each other the whole time. Similarly to the way Yasmin advises providing a list of recommendations for eating out and indoor entertainment for guests, she suggests providing guests with a list of favorite stores or favorite markets with recommendations of what to buy.
This can also be a great time to show your guests where you live by going on walks or a scenic drive. "A lot of times these holiday celebrations happen when we are in the midst of planning and doing things and doing all the last-minute errands. Another thing I like to do is photo albums, people love photo albums.”
Yasmin recommends having a physical photo album that you and your guests can look through or a digital frame such as Aura Frames that holds photos online that you can continue to add to.
6.Music:
What’s left is providing the ambiance. One of the many ways that people do this is by having a playlist. Creating a playlist is fun but can also be time-consuming. Not only do you have to add your auntie's favorite Christmas song to the playlist but you may also want to take a trip down memory lane with your siblings and jam to a throwback from your childhood. Yasmin reveals a solution, which she refers to as an “elevated” experience.
“You can hire a DJ. They can do a set on Twitch,” Yasmin says. “There’s a chatroom function so you can put it on your TV, so all the guests who are there can listen to the music live but if there are guests who can’t make it for whatever reason, they can tune in and participate via the chat.”
The experience curator also suggests having a quiet space for those who are more introverted or need a break from the loud music and crowd.
7.The Breakdown:
Whether you and your family decide to cook together or hire a caterer, cleaning up after a big event is always a buzz kill. Yasmin recommends outsourcing help as a way to enjoy yourself and not worry about the aftermath. “Clean up can be a big hassle. It is okay to get a cleaning team. It is okay to hire a bartender. It is okay to hire anybody who can make your job easier,” she assures.
“The point of these events really is to connect and I feel we get so caught up in the doing that we forget that and the party ends and we’re like, ‘Dang, I didn’t get to have a conversation with my best girlfriend who I haven’t seen in six months.’ Give yourself permission to outsource so that you can have a good time.”
For more information about Yasmin, you can visit her website at yazquiles.com and follow her on Instagram @popbyyaz.
Feature image courtesy of Yasmin Quiles
Originally published on December 13, 2022