Underpaid And Unappreciated: Why More Millennials Have Less Loyalty To Their Employers
“I'm too fly for this s**t," a voice declared in the back of my head about two years ago as I sat across from a team of middle-aged managers who were debating about a tea party invitation I created. “I just feel like 'Keep Calm and Tea Party On' might be a trigger for these women in recovery. Why don't we just call it a 'Mother's Day Tea'?" one manager suggested as I felt the creativity being sucked from me one dry suggestion at a time.
The non-profit I worked for was hosting a tea party for the women in drug and alcohol recovery we served, and while management debated over Times New Roman font and the temptation of too good of a time (You didn't know? Tea parties do one thing: Pop…like Chris Brown's pelvis during a Michael Jackson tribute), other staff who worked directly with these women on a daily basis made failed attempts to remind everyone that we should focus on ways to highlight the progress these women had made rather than argue over whether a party invitation would send someone nosediving into a coke binge.
Seriously, the way these women were debating the invitation, you would've thought a million-dollar deal with Lipton was on the table, not a simple celebration honoring local women who were making steps to be better mothers.
For the next two years, I was employed as a Communications and Outreach Coordinator at a small parenting non-profit that consisted of more of the same. I spent my days defending any creative idea I dared to present and was always told that my ideas were “too edgy". Infographic? Too modern, let's stick with that pie chart from Microsoft Word 2003. A funny parenting meme on to lighten the mood every Friday on social media? Nope, parents don't need to laugh. Let's talk about the suicide epidemic instead. When crippling budget cuts hit this past year, staff went into a spiral of panic and management checked out of boosting morale and actually managing the organization because they were too busy battling anxiety about their own job security. Before long, it was common knowledge that management would die in their offices clinging to their Times New Roman while any remaining staff would be lucky to be employed there for longer than three years.
I never planned to stay at the organization for the rest of my career when I initially applied, but for the first few years there were opportunities to grow and I felt like I was in a position to be mentored by my superiors. But sometime before my last year I “peaked" and it seemed that although management wasn't receptive to change, they also didn't have fresh ideas of their own to offer. Once I learned that not only was I not growing, but that the organization as a whole was stagnant, what was once a three-year plan turned into a three-month plan. A recent study revealed that I am not alone in my lack of loyalty. In their fifth annual global millennial survey, Deloitte, a multi-national professional services firm found that two in three young professionals expect to quit their current jobs by 2020. The survey also found that women were slightly more likely than men to leave their job in the next five years.
When it comes to the millennial workforce, these pros ain't loyal (See what I did there?) but why exactly are they so quick to leave their entry-level opportunities behind? Turns out, many of them were once optimistic grads like me hoping that their education and passion would land them in a position to make a difference in the world. Unfortunately what many of us are learning is the cold, hard truth of the corporate ladder: As much as we want to make a difference, most people still just want to make money.
“This year's survey results also show Millennials are steered by strong values at all stages of their careers; it's apparent in the employers they choose, the assignments they're willing to accept, and the decisions they make as they take on more senior-level roles," writes David Croickshank, Deloitte Golbal Chairman, “They want to work for organizations that have a purpose beyond profit, and they want those organizations to provide opportunities to develop leadership skills."
When I realized that my organization had reached a level of complacency where creating new leaders wasn't as much of a priority as cutting management a paycheck, I knew it was time to make my exit. It was a sobering thought as I watched my mother retire after 30+ years working for the same company she had been at since I was born. As she picked out a 32" TV as a parting gift for her years of service, I thought about how my professional career would more than likely be littered with decades spent in different positions at different companies. And as terrifying as the lack of job stability can sometimes be, I must admit it's a bit liberating to feel like if you hate your job you can leave it and not necessarily end up begging for change on the train. Admittedly after repeatedly being shut down by management and figuratively “sent into a corner" to keep busy and not be threatening, I checked out and started looking for other opportunities.
At happy hour, there was always a common theme among friends and colleagues of the same age: We all were working more than one job at a time and no one had stayed at one job longer than five years. Many might say millennials are flighty or entitled and disregard “paying our dues" before landing our dream jobs, but I would argue that many of us are just frustrated from trying to bring new ideas to organizations and individuals who fear change. We all won't be Mark Zuckerberg, but you can't discount all of the thirty-somethings who are building blogs, designing apps and using their imagination to challenge tradition and find new ways of doing things that make the world better one “edgy" idea at a time. And the one thing I love about being a millennial is the mindset that you don't have to choose between being employed and happy.
[easy-tweet tweet="You don't have to choose between being employed and being happy." via="no" usehashtags="no"]
The survey also revealed key differences between men and women when it comes to job satisfaction. 48% of the women surveyed said they felt overlooked for potential leadership positions contributing to the idea that gender bias in the workplace is still a very real thing, even if it's only perceived. Women also were more likely to consider work/life balance and having a sense of meaning in their work while men solely focused on product and performance. While some might say women should get up out their feelings and focus on the work, I think there's something to be said about wanting what you do to make a difference in some way.
I wasn't the type of employee to stop being a team player every time management didn't give me the green light on an idea I thought was great. I felt that I had played my part in the first few years grabbing coffee, working after hours (sometimes for free), and being accessible at any time via cell phone. I took it all as the grunt labor that comes with an entry-level position. Despite budget cuts that created what was often a very bitter working environment, I tried to find fulfillment in the parts of my job I still could and go above and beyond to make sure I was doing my part.
Nonetheless, I saw my layoff coming a week before it happened. I had packed up my desk secretly days before and made my peace with the whole idea of being unemployed before approaching my boss with a talk she was hesitating to have, “I can't log into the company accounts, so is there something you want to discuss with me?" I asked, refusing to have my time wasted as she attempted to wait until the end of the work day to give me the news. Immediately she grabbed for tissues before grabbing my release papers before she uttered, “It's just this money situation."
There's no love lost and I refused to take the layoff personally, but one crucial lesson I learned about job loyalty is that it's not worth your time to invest in any company that isn't investing in you.
[easy-tweet tweet="It's not worth your time to invest into any company that isn't investing in you"]
True leaders don't shut down or dismiss ideas, but find ways to make them better. And most importantly, the best leaders put the value and morale of their team before their own fragile egos. Maybe I do sound like an entitled millennial, but one thing I remain confident in is that no one should have to spend eight hours of their day somewhere they hate for the rest of their life. Building a stable career is as much about how a company can benefit you as much as it about what you bring to the table, and sometimes a paycheck isn't always enough.
Writer, sexual health superhero, and #BlackGirlMagic and #BlackBoy curator regularly featured on @Madamenoire. Toya can usually be found in between her earbuds, listening to trap music and refreshing her browser for concert tickets. Tweet her @thetruetsharee.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LISTÂ HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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