Jada Pinkett-Smith Reflects On Relationship With Tupac: 'There Was No Physical Chemistry At All"
Saying Jada loves Tupac is one big, fat understatement since she's as passionate about Pac as your man is about his favorite sports team.
It's been more than 20 years since his death, and the 45-year-old actress will still correct you when it comes to her friendship with fallen friend Pac, coming to tears at times.
With the release of the much anticipated Tupac biopic All Eyez on Me, she wasn't too satisfied with the way her character was portrayed in the movie.
The day the movie hit theaters on June 16th, which is also Pac's birthday, the mom-of-two took to Twitter to reveal that she saw the film and details about her relationship with Pac weren't exactly accurate. The tea is hot, so sip carefully!
&ref_url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.latimes.com%2Fentertainment%2Fla-et-entertainm...Although she critiqued the events in the movie, she did have positive words for Kat Graham and Demetrius Shipp, who played the role of Jada & Tupac in the biopic.
Related Post: Kat Graham On Playing Jada Pinkett in Tupac Biopic"All Eyez On Me"
Although Jada married Will Smith, she and Tupac had a very loving and indescribable friendship, with Pac calling her his "heart in human form." With powerful words like that, you would think their friendship would've evolved into something romantic, but as we know it never did.
While they regarded each other as soulmates, the sexual chemistry just wasn't there. In her lengthy interview with Howard Stern in 2015 , Jada confessed that she and Pac did try to take it there one time, but the both of them were completely grossed out when they shared a kiss. Jada's thankful it never got to that point though since she felt like they were both too passionate to romantically be together.
That passion and stubbornness are what was partly to blame for their friendship souring. Unfortunately, Jada and Tupac never really made up before he was murdered in 1996. However, the experience did make her appreciate time as she learned that life's too short for disagreements with people you love.
Here are a few other things we learned about her relationship with Tupac from that emotional interview:
1. Jada says her relationship with Tupac was strictly platonic and there was no chemistry. (They tried to kiss once and it was gross!)
Jada: "I met Tupac at Baltimore School For The Arts. We went to high school together. He was a revolutionary without a revolution if that makes any kind of sense. And that kind of energy just transferred to a whole other thing.
[...]
It's so funny, because now being older, I have more of an understanding of what that was between us because, you know when you have two young people who have very strong feelings, but there's NO physical chemistry between us at all. And it wasn't even just for me! It was him too. There was a time when I was like, 'Just kiss me, Let's just see how this goes.' And when I tell you, it had to be the most disgusting kiss for us both.
The only way I can put it is, the higher power just did not want that. Because I feel as though, if Pac and I had any kind of sexual chemistry, we might've killed each other because we were both so passionate. And you know, we love deeply. It was hard enough just with us being friends. We had a very volatile relationship."
2. Even though Pac was poor when Jada met him, she was not shocked when he eventually became a huge star.
Jada: "It was his poetry; it was his personality. I had never in my life met a person like Pac. He had so much charisma! And he was poor! When I met Pac, he owned two pairs of pants and two sweaters. And that's it.
I absolutely was not shocked [when he reached the level of fame he did.] I knew that was going to happen.
It's crazy. And he used to tell me all the time, 'Jada, you're a superstar. You're a superstar.' He didn't say it about himself, but he used to say it about me. And he went to Oakland, up North, and things started jumping off for him. It really happened for us both at the same time.."
3. Their friendship began to change after Pac went to jail.
Jada: "There were a lot of things that transpired once he went to jail. It was really once he came out that he changed quite a bit, which is understandable. Jail was a very difficult experience for him. And, of course, we were on two sides of the spectrum. Pac and I have always had very intense conversations, arguments. And if we disagree with each other, we disagree hardcore. And we had a very hardcore disagreement.
I just wasn't in agreement with the direction he was taking. And I just told him that it was a destructive direction, a very scary direction. And he felt as though I had changed, I got Hollywood, I had gone soft. And looking back now, I totally understand where Pac was because, at that particular point in time, that mentality was part of his survival for that moment. And it was actually a mentality he started to come out of before he was murdered."
4. Jada is still feeling sadness for not telling Pac she loved him before he died.
Jada: "You know, I don't think I was guilty as much as I felt, just sadness, for not having the opportunity to tell him that I loved him. But I know he knew that because it wasn't the first time that we had had a bad argument and had stopped speaking and all that. That was kind of a constant in our relationship. So I didn't really look at it as a reason to feel guilty. But it definitely taught me a lesson, which is, life is too short. Do not let disagreements stand in between you and people that you love and care about."
Howard Stern: I can tell you're really emotional about him, I mean, you're crying. When you think of him, you have tears in your eyes.
Jada: "Yeah, you know, I love him."
Not making amends and not getting any closure must be why she still gets teary-eyed two decades later. Sure, she knows Pac knew she loved him, but when you and your friend are fighting, that's not always at the forefront of your/their brain. And 20 years later, that lack of closure is still painful.
Watch a clip from the film below:
- Did Jada Pinkett Smith Date Tupac Shakur? | POPSUGAR Celebrity ›
- Jada Pinkett Smith Admits She Thinks About Tupac "Every Single Day" ›
- Jada Pinkett Smith Says She Thinks About 2Pac Every Day | Complex ›
- Jada Pinkett Smith and Tupac Shakur: All About Their Friendship ... ›
- Jada Pinkett Smith thinks about Tupac Shakur 'every single day ... ›
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LISTÂ HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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