Jada Pinkett-Smith Reflects On Relationship With Tupac: 'There Was No Physical Chemistry At All"
Saying Jada loves Tupac is one big, fat understatement since she's as passionate about Pac as your man is about his favorite sports team.
It's been more than 20 years since his death, and the 45-year-old actress will still correct you when it comes to her friendship with fallen friend Pac, coming to tears at times.
With the release of the much anticipated Tupac biopic All Eyez on Me, she wasn't too satisfied with the way her character was portrayed in the movie.
The day the movie hit theaters on June 16th, which is also Pac's birthday, the mom-of-two took to Twitter to reveal that she saw the film and details about her relationship with Pac weren't exactly accurate. The tea is hot, so sip carefully!
&ref_url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.latimes.com%2Fentertainment%2Fla-et-entertainm...Although she critiqued the events in the movie, she did have positive words for Kat Graham and Demetrius Shipp, who played the role of Jada & Tupac in the biopic.
Related Post: Kat Graham On Playing Jada Pinkett in Tupac Biopic"All Eyez On Me"
Although Jada married Will Smith, she and Tupac had a very loving and indescribable friendship, with Pac calling her his "heart in human form." With powerful words like that, you would think their friendship would've evolved into something romantic, but as we know it never did.
While they regarded each other as soulmates, the sexual chemistry just wasn't there. In her lengthy interview with Howard Stern in 2015 , Jada confessed that she and Pac did try to take it there one time, but the both of them were completely grossed out when they shared a kiss. Jada's thankful it never got to that point though since she felt like they were both too passionate to romantically be together.
That passion and stubbornness are what was partly to blame for their friendship souring. Unfortunately, Jada and Tupac never really made up before he was murdered in 1996. However, the experience did make her appreciate time as she learned that life's too short for disagreements with people you love.
Here are a few other things we learned about her relationship with Tupac from that emotional interview:
1. Jada says her relationship with Tupac was strictly platonic and there was no chemistry. (They tried to kiss once and it was gross!)
Jada: "I met Tupac at Baltimore School For The Arts. We went to high school together. He was a revolutionary without a revolution if that makes any kind of sense. And that kind of energy just transferred to a whole other thing.
[...]
It's so funny, because now being older, I have more of an understanding of what that was between us because, you know when you have two young people who have very strong feelings, but there's NO physical chemistry between us at all. And it wasn't even just for me! It was him too. There was a time when I was like, 'Just kiss me, Let's just see how this goes.' And when I tell you, it had to be the most disgusting kiss for us both.
The only way I can put it is, the higher power just did not want that. Because I feel as though, if Pac and I had any kind of sexual chemistry, we might've killed each other because we were both so passionate. And you know, we love deeply. It was hard enough just with us being friends. We had a very volatile relationship."
2. Even though Pac was poor when Jada met him, she was not shocked when he eventually became a huge star.
Jada: "It was his poetry; it was his personality. I had never in my life met a person like Pac. He had so much charisma! And he was poor! When I met Pac, he owned two pairs of pants and two sweaters. And that's it.
I absolutely was not shocked [when he reached the level of fame he did.] I knew that was going to happen.
It's crazy. And he used to tell me all the time, 'Jada, you're a superstar. You're a superstar.' He didn't say it about himself, but he used to say it about me. And he went to Oakland, up North, and things started jumping off for him. It really happened for us both at the same time.."
3. Their friendship began to change after Pac went to jail.
Jada: "There were a lot of things that transpired once he went to jail. It was really once he came out that he changed quite a bit, which is understandable. Jail was a very difficult experience for him. And, of course, we were on two sides of the spectrum. Pac and I have always had very intense conversations, arguments. And if we disagree with each other, we disagree hardcore. And we had a very hardcore disagreement.
I just wasn't in agreement with the direction he was taking. And I just told him that it was a destructive direction, a very scary direction. And he felt as though I had changed, I got Hollywood, I had gone soft. And looking back now, I totally understand where Pac was because, at that particular point in time, that mentality was part of his survival for that moment. And it was actually a mentality he started to come out of before he was murdered."
4. Jada is still feeling sadness for not telling Pac she loved him before he died.
Jada: "You know, I don't think I was guilty as much as I felt, just sadness, for not having the opportunity to tell him that I loved him. But I know he knew that because it wasn't the first time that we had had a bad argument and had stopped speaking and all that. That was kind of a constant in our relationship. So I didn't really look at it as a reason to feel guilty. But it definitely taught me a lesson, which is, life is too short. Do not let disagreements stand in between you and people that you love and care about."
Howard Stern: I can tell you're really emotional about him, I mean, you're crying. When you think of him, you have tears in your eyes.
Jada: "Yeah, you know, I love him."
Not making amends and not getting any closure must be why she still gets teary-eyed two decades later. Sure, she knows Pac knew she loved him, but when you and your friend are fighting, that's not always at the forefront of your/their brain. And 20 years later, that lack of closure is still painful.
Watch a clip from the film below:
- Did Jada Pinkett Smith Date Tupac Shakur? | POPSUGAR Celebrity ›
- Jada Pinkett Smith Admits She Thinks About Tupac "Every Single Day" ›
- Jada Pinkett Smith Says She Thinks About 2Pac Every Day | Complex ›
- Jada Pinkett Smith and Tupac Shakur: All About Their Friendship ... ›
- Jada Pinkett Smith thinks about Tupac Shakur 'every single day ... ›
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Not too long ago, while in an interview, someone asked me for a top complaint that I hear husbands say (first) and then wives state (second) as it relates to what goes down (or doesn’t go down) in the bedroom.
Ladies first: when it comes to women, I think what comes up more than anything might surprise some: it’s boredom. A lot of wives want there to be more spontaneity instead of taking the “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” approach from their partner. As for men? I mean, would anyone be shocked to hear that they wished their wife would initiate sex more often?
I’m telling you, over frequency, technique, and even dressing up more for bed (and yes, those things also come up quite a bit), hands down, what I hear that more men want is for their partner to show them that they are desired by taking the initial steps to make copulation happen…more often.
And so, since I’m all about doing whatever I can to reduce dissatisfaction and frustration in the bedroom department, let’s explore this very topic today — from a few angles. For starters, what it truly means to be a sexual initiator; two, why it’s so vitally important to be a sexual initiator, and three, why it could literally change the entire tone, energy, and outcome of your sex life with your partner — if you’d simply be open to initiating sex more often than you (probably already) do.
What It Means to Initiate Something. LITERALLY.
Giphy
I’m word-literal — there’s no secret about that. So, when it comes to the topic of initiating sex, let’s start with what the word means. To initiate is “to begin, set going, or originate” and “to introduce into the knowledge of some art or subject.” Some synonyms for initiate include begin, open, set up, trigger, admit, introduce, and invest. And when it comes to all of the meanings of these words, between men and women, when it comes to sex specifically, guess who does it more? Men. BY A LONG SHOT TOO: a whopping 60 percent.
When it comes to why a lot of women are so comfortable with men initiating intimacy, many think that, just like men should pursue them for a relationship, it is also “the man’s role” to pursue sex in the bedroom; they literally think that it makes them look desperate or needy for them to be the initiator — yes, even as a wife. What in the world?
Listen, when two people sign up to be each other’s exclusive sex partner until death parts them, it means they are both saying that they desire each other so much that they are willing to make that kind of commitment — and so, there should be no “I don’t want to appear this way or that” when it comes to sexual activity.
So, with all of that ridiculous overthinking out of the way, that should make you want to “set up” some sex plans, “admit” to some sexual fantasies that you may have, and “introduce” some new ideas to your partner; especially since that’s exactly what so many men wish that their lady would do, to begin with.
So, with all of this said, if you’re someone who is hung up on not initiating, first spend some time really processing what the word means. Because when two people are eager to begin sex and invest in each other sexually, that is the recipe for a truly satisfying experience…over and over and over again.
C’mon. Who Doesn’t Want to Feel Wanted?
GiphyI remember once reading an article that said our brain processes rejection the same way that it does physical pain, and y’all, I don’t know about you, but if something is physically hurting me, my natural inclination is to get away from it. Along these lines, when it comes to relationships since research has proven that rejection can lead to things like jealousy, shame, anxiety, loneliness, and guilt — yes, it makes all of the common sense in the world that you would want to do all that you can to make your partner feel wanted…both in and outside of the bedroom because, just like no one wants to deal with physical pain, no one wants to keep dealing with rejection and all of the fallout that comes with it…either.
Actually, when it comes to this particular point, I think that an article that I once read on Psychology Today’s site said it best: “Not only does being needed help define your role in a relationship, but being needed can also influence how satisfied you feel in a relationship.” And before some of you say that “sex is not a need” — the hell you say? I mean, the only purpose of your clitoris is to provide sexual stimulation, so that alone should make us all deem sex (and sexual fulfillment) as pretty damn important.
Plus, by definition, a need is something that is deemed as being essential while also being something that is extremely necessary, and anyone who thinks that a romantic relationship doesn’t need physical intimacy? That’s someone who really needs to remain single because one of the top things that makes a relationship more than a friendship is there is intimacy that’s involved.
Besides, who doesn’t want to feel wanted by their partner — and I do mean, in every way? And when you make the decision to be in an exclusive relationship with someone else, you are declaring that they are someone who pleases you to the point where you don’t need to look for anyone else to do it; and, if that is indeed what you are saying, it doesn’t make sense that you wouldn’t initiate sex with them sometimes (and I do mean more than on their birthday).
One, because you choose them to “fill that role.” Two, because they are the source of your fulfillment in that area. Three, because it’s completely unfair (not to mention totally hypocritical) to expect them to make you feel wanted when you’re not being intentional about making them feel the same way in return. Not to mention the fact that initiating also helps to safeguard your relationship on a lot of levels too.
Since sex is important and rejection is detrimental on so many levels, it’s crucial to make your partner feel sexually wanted and desired by you. One way to definitely do that is to initiate sex.
What Initiating Sex Does for You
GiphySo, what does initiating sex do for the initiator? Something that I tell a lot of my women clients is it helps them to create an atmosphere that puts them in the mood. What I mean by that is, if their husband is perfectly content having sex on the couch during commercials (I’m kind of exaggerating to make a point…kind of…LOL) while they would like some candles, mood music, and rose petals — they can control that if they are the one who initiates.
Another perk that comes with being the initiator is you have more “control” over how the sex goes. The kind of foreplay you want, how fast or slow things go, how intercourse begins — all of this, you have more of a say so in if you’re the one who is initiating intimacy. Why? Well, think about when your bae initiates — doesn’t it seem like you tend to follow his lead more when he’s the one who is first to get the ball rolling?
Oftentimes, when a couple comes to me about being sexually dissatisfied, and I recommend that the one who doesn’t initiate takes more initiative, the one on the receiving end likes the fact that their partner is “running the show” — and the initiator likes “being in charge” more than they thought that they would. As a result, both end up experiencing far more pleasure.
The initiator shows what they want more of while the receiver feels desired in the process. A win/win for everyone.
What Initiating Sex Does for Him
sexy black and white GIFGiphyA couple of weeks ago, while in a session with a client, he was joking about how much he has “too much of a good thing” when it comes to his wife’s libido. Although science says that the fact that men have a higher amount of testosterone in their system, and it is the reason why they typically have a higher sex drive, don’t sleep on a lot of women out there who want to get it in more than their husband does. His wife is one of them. Since she’s a client of mine too (oftentimes, we do our sessions separately), it’s interesting that he’s fine with having sex a couple of times a month while she would like to a couple of times a week.
So, is he denying her when she wants it more often? Nope. The reason why they’re not having more sex is that even though her drive is higher, she still waits for him to initiate. Why? Because she thinks that’s what “the man should do”; not only that but “being wooed” turns her on more.
As I’ve been working on helping them to find a middle ground (because if marriage ain’t about compromise, I don’t know what is), he says that he feels like because he plans a lot of the dates, he wishes that she would initiate more: “I don’t think a lot of women get how hard it is to be a Black man out here. Nothing feels better than knowing that if no one else is thrilled by your presence, your woman is. For us, initiating isn’t just about sex. It’s about feeling wanted as a whole. And when we feel like our woman adores us, there is no greater turn-on.”
I’m not sure what y’all heard, but what it sounds like to me is when we, as women, initiate sex, men feel holistically special and cherished. That makes sense, too, because if we were to put our feet in their shoes, we would probably say the same thing. That’s just one more reason to pull the “gender roles” out of this topic; men and women both want to feel like they are the best thing on the planet by their sex partners. And again, initiating helps us all to feel that way.
What Initiating Ultimately Does for Your Relationship As a Whole
Issa Rae Love GIF by Insecure on HBOGiphyPersonally, I can only imagine how much better sex would be for everyone (who is in a sexual relationship) if people simply initiated copulation whenever they wanted to have it. That way, everyone would feel desired — and what could possibly be wrong with that? Especially if both individuals factored in some of the definitions for initiated that I already shared. Just think about if you rushed home tonight because you read about something that you want to introduce to your man or there’s a fantasy that you have that you want to admit.
The mere conversations alone will help to bring the two of you closer together because, after all, deep intimacy is about minds, bodies, and spirits getting as close as possible…right? And so, yes, by initiating sex, it can bring more closeness and stability to the relationship as a whole.
And what if you initiate and your partner isn’t interested at the time? Or what if you’re shy about initiating due to having a fear of rejection? That’s a fair and legitimate concern. One day, I’ll need to pen an article on how couples should handle situations like that with grace (on both ends) while applying the golden rule of “doing unto others as you would have them do unto you.” For now, I’ll just say that if this is your greatest point of concern, share that with your partner as well.
After all, it’s pretty unrealistic to expect them to always want it when you do (although it’s been my experience and observation that men are almost always far easier to convince…LOL); just know that not wanting sex at the exact moment that you do doesn’t mean that they don’t want you altogether. Besides, oftentimes, a nap or a night of sleep can rectify that issue. Trust me.
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Rihanna was actually once quoted as saying, “To me, sex is power. It’s empowering to do it because you want to do it.” I personally think that’s a great way to bring this to a close. Make your partner feel wonderful, empower yourself, and strengthen your relationship by initiating sex more often. I can’t think of one reason why it’s not a wise move. Can you?
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