I Was Told I Was Infertile At 17 | xoNECOLE
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I Was Told I Was Infertile At 17

Comments (52)
  1. Jhane' says:

    I can relate to this extremely ! At the age of 15 I was diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) and just like this article, as a teen it didn’t really dawn on me because children were the last thing on my mind. After countless years of having that “absent” flow and irregular hormone growth I opt myself out into having a family and being someone’s mother. Until, I met my daughters father. I did copious amounts of research on this syndrome and I learned ways to keep it balanced. Working out at least 3 days a week with a strict but healthy routine before you know it I CONCEIVED ! Although she could be my first and last just to be able to have the opportunity to become a mother when others stated that you couldn’t or that it would be harder or risker was a blessing! So I tell anyone its all up to God, that great man above. He makes the final decision. Good luck for anyone who is experiencing this !.

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    1. Bee says:

      Thanks so much for reading, Jhane’, and for also sharing apart of your story. I totally agree that it is ALL up to God!

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    2. ShaySu says:

      Hey, I was recently diagnosed with pcos, I wanted to know if you could give me some information on what you did to manage your symptoms

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  2. I really hope she find peace! I suffer from two reproductive disorders and I was diagnosed with one at the age of 19. I always hate it when people ask me now at almost 28 when will I have kids? Or girl you don’t want kids they are a handful . There’s so many of us out there who would give everything to be able to experience pregnancy and we probaly never will. A lot of doctors and even other women are very insensitive when it comes to fertility and I hate it. I’ve spent many years believing I was less of a women because I couldn’t get pregnant , or because I don’t even have a period unless I take Medication to bring one on. Now I just feel like if it’s meant it will happen I no longer wanna be depressed about it

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    1. I was told at 21 and at 23 i had a healthy baby boy now im pregnant with my second.at 25 Pray about it. Kids are a blessing dont be depressed you will find your happiness hugs

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    2. Bee says:

      Constance, your words really resonate with me. You are not less than a woman because of your reproductive diagnosis. If anything, this only makes you stronger! I pray that you find healing and purpose throughout this journey. God makes no mistakes, so trust him! Keep pressing, sis!

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    3. Hang in there sis, if its God it sha ne done 🙂

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  3. God is Love says:

    Thank you for sharing such a personal and difficult story. I’m glad to read that you are still optimistic after dealing with your lack of fertility. I wish you nothing but the best.

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    1. Bee says:

      Thanks for reading and for your encouragement! Blessings and Love to you 🙂

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  4. CreoleButtafly says:

    Wow, I’ve never heard of this POF condition. Dealing with infertility is so hard. I didn’t have my first period until I was 15 years old. It would only come every 6 months. I knew something was wrong, but I figured alot of females are irregular and mine was just really irregular. Fast forward 11 years and 3 years into my marriage I’m unable able to conceive. I went to my gynecologist, who did some test and she then diagnosed me with PCOS and I had never heard of it. She said it would be very difficult for me to get pregnant as my ovaries are functioning properly and I do not ovulate every month. Her words broke my heart. I was scared to tell my husband, because we knew we wanted children before we were even married. 8 years into our marriage, amongst other things, my husband couldn’t cope with my infertility and I have been divorced for 4 years. Now, at the age of 35, I have given up on the idea of having my own children. The crazy thing is that these illness can be so random. My mom is very fertile. She and my dad decided the want a big family and I’ve been blessed with 6 sisters(who are all fertile like mom) and 2 brothers. So this diagnosis hit me hard and this journey has been rough. I shed ALOT of tears and asked WHY ME?! I’ve always wanted to be a mother and assumed I’d be one… of 3 kids at that. I Keep feeling like I’ll be pushing 50 when/if I do ever conceive. I’m blessed either way. I just wish things were different. But I have lots of nieces and nephews to love and I love them to death. It’s bitter sweet, but they don’t even realize how much they help they’re auntie deal. Thank you for sharing and God bless all of you.

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  5. I hope she finds as much peace as possible, great article! This goes to show why people shouldn’t ask “when are you going to have babies?” Whether it’s by choice or not, it’s no one’s business.

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    1. Bee says:

      Breana, that is such a good point. Although a lot of people ask with good intentions, it can be an awkward and emotional question to answer for some women. Thats why we need to talk about these issues and raise awareness! Thank you for reading!

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  6. I had a similar experience also, but I have sickle cell anemia. I was told told at 19 that I could never have children let alone get pregnant. It caused me so much mental pain…I didn’t start menstruating till I was 15 and till this day I’m still irregular. At 29…I was pregnant for the very first time in my life but miscarried at 17 wks. Doctor’s couldn’t find rhyme or reason as to why I miscarried or why I was told that I couldn’t get pregnant. Two additional miscarriages later…still no answer at this point and at my age…44, it’s in God’s hands.

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    1. Bee says:

      Wow, Thank you so much for sharing a part of your own testimony! May God continue to cover you during this journey!

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  7. Yeh Yeh says:

    What an inspiring story. Thank you for sharing.

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    1. Bee says:

      Thank you so much for reading!

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  8. Wow- I’ve never heard of this condition at all.

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    1. Bee says:

      Premature Ovarian Failure is a pretty rare condition, but there are other similar diagnosis that result in infertility. My goal is to raise awareness about these issues! Thanks so much for reading 🙂

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  9. Nae says:

    Thank you for sharing this. Your strength and optimism are inspiring!

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    1. Bee says:

      Thanks for your kind words and for reading!

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  10. roseinweeds says:

    sis, we are standing in the gap for ucand your FAMILY! God never gives us more than we can bear. my sister is trying to grow her family and PCOS is not being a friend. likewise, i have an aunt who struggled for years to conceive having been told she could not bear any. she ultimately adopted a cousin of ours. and in her late 40s…had two children! TWO! God’s timing is not ours. 🙂

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    1. Bee says:

      Thank you so much! I pray that your sister overcomes her battle with PCOS. I love the light at the end of the tunnel with that your aunt experienced with the birth of her two babies! Gods timing is always perfect and I’m trusting that. Thanks for reading and uplifting me 🙂

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  11. So many of our queens are going thru this.. We need to heal our wombs! We need more healers..

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    1. Bee says:

      You are so right, Tiffany. We do need healers! Thats why we have to keep the infertility convo going to raise more awareness. Thanks for reading 🙂

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  12. Proud Lady says:

    Thank you for sharing your story ! Really brave of you because this is a subject especially in the black community that women like to avoid. You will be a great mother one day because you worked so hard for it, and God makes no mistakes. You never know what the future may bring. No matter how you get your future blessing the only thing that matters is you got them.

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    1. Bee says:

      Thank you so much for your encouragement!

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  13. Goldenique says:

    The doctors told my mama the same thing at 17 & she went on to have two kids. Anything is possible. It’s all up to God! Whether you end up being a mom or not, good luck to you. You’ll do great things.

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    1. Bee says:

      You are so right! At the end of the day, God has the final say. Thank you for your kind works and for reading my story! Much appreciated 🙂

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  14. G Nicole says:

    Thank you for sharing your story. I’ve had irregular periods since I was 13, and went 8 months without one my freshman year of college. At 18 I was diagnosed with PCOS and told it would be difficult for me to conceive. Even now I’m having more issues and fear I may be infertile, so I visit an obgyn next week. I always said I didn’t want kids and wished to be a foster parent, but it’s not the same once you find out that you are infertile. I hope this post brings awareness to young women who are afraid to speak out.

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    1. Bee says:

      Thanks for sharing your own battles, Queen! Lets not even fear or claim infertility! I pray for Gods covering over you as you head to your appointment next week. Stay strong and keep the faith, sis 🙂

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  15. God is Love says:

    The dialogue in the comment section is really opening my eyes regarding fertility issues. I was a teen parent and I ultimately had 4 children in 5 yrs. Having that experience at such a young, I took for granted that women do face these issues. I will be ever so careful when asking anyone whether or not they want to have children as I don’t want to further cause another woman unnecessary distress. My heart goes out to all of you who shared your personal stories. It’s so nice to read that even in the face of such disappointment you all seem to be at peace, or at least working towards it. Also, if I’m not being insensitive I think adoption or foster parenting should be considered. I work in family Court and I can attest there are many children in need of loving homes. Blessings

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  16. Derb says:

    Bless you my sister. Your article is so touching! While I haven’t been diagnosed with infertility, I know of countless cases where God in His love, mercy and power, made many infertile women, bear children. Your case will NOT be different in Jesus name. Since you believe in Yeshua (Jesus in Hebrew language), remember that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit so declare with your mouth daily that your body is whole. Proclaim also that by the stripes of Jesus you were healed. Say everyday as you take your bath or dress up, or eat, that “I am in Christ and my body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, therefore, every cell, every tissue and every organ in my body is sized, shaped and functions perfectly in Jesus name. By the stripes of Jesus I was healed, so I am the healed in Christ Jesus and I enjoy the healing Jesus purchased for me.” It is also important to take authority over the evil one, make a daily pronouncement as well that “Satan, I bind you over my life in Jesus name. I stop the oppression of the evil one over my health in the mighty name of Jesus! I plead the blood of Jesus over my spirit, soul and body and I walk in victory in Yeshua’s name. Thank God daily for healing you and rejoice in Him. The prayers above are based on the following scriptures – 1 Peter 2:24, 1 Corinthians 6:19, James 4:17, 2 Corinthians 4:13, John 10:10, Ephesians 6:12, Revelation 12:11, Psalm 146:1 and Philippians 4:4.

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  17. I was told that at 18 but, I know have 3 healthy sons. God is amazing and beautiful. I Told God that if he bless me with a pregnancy I would keep them and never look back.

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    1. Bee says:

      That is amazing! God is so faithful! Thanks for reading, sharing, and encouraging!

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  18. Eloves IAm says:

    Bee, thank you very much for sharing this story and how you have come to find joy! You have me over here with tears in my eyes. I can relate to your story so much. I have to follow you on IG and check for that book❤️

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    1. Bee says:

      Awww, thank you so much for your support! It really means the world to me. I will definitely keep you updated through my IG and my website, http://www.bee-fruitful.com, on the release of my book! We have to keep the infertility convo going, its so many women who are silently battling infertility. Its time to start healing! Thanks for reading 🙂

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  19. Carla says:

    I was 16 when I was diagnosed with Pcos and 30 when cervical cancer reared it’s ugly head. I went on a fertility regime that gave me my little girl. I will not try again

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  20. Peaceofmind says:

    This was right on time for me in that sometimes I too feel that no man is going to love me with my condition. I was diagnosed with HSV-1 this past winter via blood test. It’s been really hard for me accept, although some days are better than others. I’ve told myself the same things you told yourself, “I used this trepidation to convince myself that I had no desire to ever be married or have children, even though I really did. I figured that if I pretended to have no interest in ever having a family of my own, I wouldn’t be hurt or disappointed if it never came to fruition.” I know the conditions are very different, but I came to tears reading this b/c the feelings are similar. I’m glad that you’ve found someone to love you unconditionally! Continue in your walk w/ Christ and have faith that everything will turn out fine! All things are possible through Him. Take care!

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    1. Bee says:

      Thanks so much for your honesty and sharing your story, Queen! You are so worthy and deserving of love, and you will find it! Finding peace with an infertility diagnosis is something that we will continue to work at, but you can and will get through this! Keep pressing and keep praying! Blessings and love to you 🙂 thanks for reading!

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  21. Jenae says:

    I was diagnosed with PCOS as well at the age of 22. Of course I went through the whole “not seeing Aunt Flo” thing until I decided to get on birth control. I got on birth control when I was 21 and I had a cycle every month. I ended up getting pregnant and I lost my child at 12 weeks. It’s crazy because I didn’t even know that I was pregnant but when I lost my child . . . it all hit me at once. I was carrying a child . . . my child. I’m pretty numb to it now but I feel like it was because of the PCOS that I lost my child. But I also feel like losing my child was for a reason. Obviously it wasn’t my time to be a mother . . . so I also look at it that way too.

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    1. Bee says:

      Jenae, thank you so much for your transparency and courage to share your experience with PCOS. I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of child and I pray that you find healing. Gods timing is perfect and He will bless you! Keep pressing, sis!

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  22. Bj says:

    Can we do an article on PCOS ? So many women are affected by it.

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  23. Tierra Joi says:

    Reading this story opened my eyes up to women who have to deal with a infertility issue. I’m a mom who always say, I don’t want another child because it’s hard enough trying to raise them with SOME not a lot of help from the fathers! Sometimes it takes for you to see what someone is going through to appreciate your own situation just a little more! Thank You for sharing your story & it’s an Awesome idea to raise Awareness!!

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  24. Tierra Joi says:

    & Never forget, All things are possible through Christ who strengthens you!!

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  25. Mary says:

    thank you for your encouraging post.. i was diagnosed at 16.. now 25. your post perfectly captures the journey and some of the thoughts i myself am going through.. still experiencing those ups and downs days but im trying to keep the faith..

    It be great if you could write a post about how and when into your dating relationship that you shared this post with your husband and how you knew he was the one to share it..

    love from the Uk x

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  26. Truth says:

    @peaceofmind did you mean HSV-2? HSV-1 is the cold sore that a majority of people have and is not a STI. Now HSV-2 is the STI that may cause trepidation in regards to dating, pregnancy, and labor. Let it be known that you can have a healthy pregnancy and delivery that can be done vaginally. If you were to have an active episode, you could have the delivery via c-section.

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    1. Peaceofmind says:

      @truth: hi, no it’s HSV1. I only found out via blood test. I also found out if someone has a history of cold sores and goes down you, you could get genital hsv1. Ghsv1 is “weaker” than hsv2 b/c it prefers the lips vs the genitals (hsv2 prefers the genitals), So there are way fewer outbreaks and sheds significantly lower. The thing is, since I’ve never had an outbreak orally or genitally, I don’t know where the virus is, if that makes sense. It’s the stigma that’s keep me from thinking that no one one will love me or want me and thus I won’t have a family one day. But I’m working on my negative thoughts. I now know that HSV1 is very common and most ppl that have it don’t know. It’s not included in routine std testing.

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  27. Peaceofmind says:

    @truth: hi, no it’s HSV1. I only found out via blood test. I also found out if someone has a history of cold sores and goes down you, you could get genital hsv1. Ghsv1 is “weaker” than hsv2 b/c it prefers the lips vs the genitals (hsv2 prefers the genitals), So there are way fewer outbreaks and sheds significantly lower. The thing is, since I’ve never had an outbreak orally or genitally, I don’t know where the virus is, if that makes sense. It’s the stigma that’s keep me from thinking that no one one will love me or want me and thus I won’t have a family one day. But I’m working on my negative thoughts. I now know that HSV1 is very common and most ppl that have it don’t know. It’s not included in routine std testing.

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  28. LeahSmeah says:

    I’m 32 have been marrie 5 yrs and will be 6 in May. I haven’t been diagnosed with anything and the doctor said we just need to have sex more often. But I don’t think that is right. Granted my husband isn’t home every day. I have also experienced 2 miscarriages. We still have no kids and among another things it’s been a struggle. He no longer to believes in God so I’m believing God by myself on this one. I feel like I have to psych myself into believing I don’t want kids but I’m getting older and my patience is wearing thin. My husbands 5 sisters and brothers all have kids and all of them have atleast 2 kids except 1 sibling has just 1 child. I just view it as being behind. Heck everyone I know has kids and they’re growing up and I’m still with none. I wish it was so easy for me to just pop a baby in my uterus and out into the world. But now that I’m 6 years in I’m just over it. I’m sick of people asking me why i don’t have kids as if I have control over it. I already don’t have friends but the fact I don’t have kids seems like it puts a wedge between people I meet who do have kids and aren’t married. They will never understand what it’s like to be married and not able to have a child when ever They decide. So I just stay to myself.

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  29. LeLett says:

    Thank you for sharing your story. You are so strong and have overcome so much. It’s such a blessing that you found your strength in Christ and he ultimately gave you a husband who accepts all of you despite the circumstances. Continue to do the lord’s, you are inspiring~

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  30. Chell says:

    Omg I’m weeping my eyes out!!! I just got this news a week ago and I’ve been really down. I’m 25 and was in the midst of family planning with my SO when I started experiencing so many problems leading me to last week’s diagnosis. Waiting to start hormonal replacement therapy and not able to afford a fertility specialist at the moment. I’ve been doing a daily acknowledgement of silver linings to get me through. Prayerful that I will begin to ovulate and have a miracle baby! Thanks for sharing your story

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