Are tampons and maxi pads yesterday's news?
After reading an article where model Lauren Wasser lost her limbs because of symptoms related to Toxic Shock Syndrome (TSS), I started to question myself, and my reasoning for using tampons. That week, I saw several products online for natural tampons, cloth maxi pads, and menstrual cups, that I had not noticed before. I started thinking, do I really need to use tampons and maxi pads? I’m aware that it is the media’s job to instill fear into the public, to some degree. Well this time it worked. Seriously, at one point I was scared that my vagina would cough and die. So I did a little research on alternatives to over the counter tampons and maxi pads.
According to the Mayo Clinic, TSS is rare, but it does happen, and has been historically associated primarily with the use of super absorbent tampons. Most women experience TSS after five hours of using a tampon, because tampons were not designed to be worn more than that time period. But I’m a heavy sleeper, and I grow tired of waking up in the middle of the night wondering if there is a horse head in my bed, when really I just had another leak from wearing a tampon or a maxi pad for too long (pads are also not designed to be worn more than five hours).
So I decided to give a menstrual cup a go. Being the cheap woman that I am, I went with the disposable, Softcups brand. I figured that if the product didn’t work, no Walgreens was going to take a used, $40 menstrual cup back for return, so I had better go disposable to see how I liked it first.
I went to my local Walgreens, and I asked the pharmacist, a dude, where I could find the menstrual cups. Mostly because some pharmacies (I hear) keep them in the pharmacy area, and not the feminine hygiene area. He was slightly confused, and probably disgusted. Well, at least his expression looked that way.
He was kind enough to get a lady clerk to help me find them. So I asked the lady clerk where I could find the menstrual cups. She was confused too. After some explaining, she gave me the package, and said, “Let me know how you like those thangs, baby doll,” in her hard, Southern accent. She said the thought of putting a cup up her tooter was weird, and she wanted to know if it actually worked, or if it was a “thing." I agreed to come back and give her a full report, and went home to try out my new cup.
So this is where things get weird. I got home, sat on the toilet, and got ready to insert that bad boy. It ended with a broken cup (don’t ask me how that happened), and a little back pain. Then I realized that I was probably doing it all wrong, and began to read the directions. (Yeah, I know it was a dumb move). Sure enough, I was doing it all wrong. Back pain was totally not part of the equation. And turns out, you don’t insert it like a tampon.
You push back, not up. Finally, the back pain was gone, but I have a low cervix, so this contraption is going to feel weird anyway.
But that’s just a minor inconvenience. What’s great is that it lasts 12 hours, and I can pee and poo wearing this thing. I did have a little leakage when I urinated, but the old lady on the Softcups website says that it was totally normal. Whew! But you don’t know how happy I felt when I woke up the next morning with no leakage, no stains in the bed, and best of all, no odor! (You can turn up your nose if you want, but every woman has had an odor in her lady parts. It’s part of life.)
Either way, I was happy. No more changing my tampons every hour (because I’m a big water drinker), no more changing tampons before sex, and no more asking co-workers for tampons when Mother Nature starts creeping on a come up. I was in bliss! Plus, one pack of disposable cups costed me less than $6 with my Walgreens card, and about 12 came in the pack. One lasts 12 hours, which means that I used an average of 3 vaginal cups during my heavy flow days. On my light days, I used a panty liner (hey, I’m still a work in progress). Can we say that I was geeked to already be saving money? I would have already annihilated half a box of tampons by day three of my menstrual cycle.
The old woman on the Softcups website also said that you could have sex wearing one. Whaaaat! I was ready to take that bad boy for a test drive with my husband! But he came down with the flu earlier that day, so no nookie for me.
But whatever. Me and my tiny vagina felt liberated. I’m feeling myself for sure.
Have you ever tied a menstrual cup? What’s your take on it?
Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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Feature image by Franco Zulueta
Almost two weeks later, Wicked is still on everyone's lips. The high-grossing film stars Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande as Elphaba and Glinda, as their characters, tell a story about race and acceptance. However, what has captured audiences on and off the screen are Cynthia's and Ariana's looks as they play on their characters' styles.
Ariana, like her character Glinda, is often dressed in pink, and Cynthia, much like Elphaba, is covered in green. But what also has many people talking is the British actress' nails. Her nails are often long, blingy, and, of course, green. Many TikTok girlies are even doing their own versions of Elphaba's nails. But there's one person to thank for the green nail mania: Shea Osei.
The London-based nail artist has been working with the Wicked actress since she was 16 and shared all the tea on her epic nail styles with Unbothered UK.
Here what she said.
Shea On Elphaba's Nails Being The First Thing We See Before Seeing The Character
I was ecstatic. I was happy. It was just great to see my craft, my artistry just out there, not just nationally but globally.
Shea On Elphaba's Nails Representing Her Character Development
When we started with the first [nail] look, we chose nice, subtle green ombre nails that show who she is but a calm, chilled-out version of Elphaba. As she grew into herself, became more confident, and found herself, she was more like, yes, this is me, I’m Elphaba, I am who I am, and her nails became more daring. In the salon scene, when she had a transformation, her nails were, one, longer and two, they were more daring. There are many close-ups of Elphaba’s hands in the film, where you see her nails, and you see the difference in what they were [at the start of the film], so I feel like that helps to tell the story.
Shea On Elphaba's Nails Representing Black Womanhood
Yes, it was 100%. And I feel like, yes, the nails represented Black womanhood but also just being yourself. I just feel like the nails represented Cynthia as if to say, ‘I'm Black and I can be a Black witch’. This is who I am. And also, I can have braids and they can be done in any kind of way and can still be styled however is needed. I think we saw, if I'm correct, three or four different braid styles in the movie. Sim Camps, who styled the braids, did an amazing job — there would be mornings when she would be making sure the braids were intact and looked amazing on camera. So, yeah, definitely the braids were an ode to Black culture and the nails were 100% like, yes, we're doing it.
Shea On Seeing The Fan Recreation On TikTok
Yes, I have! If you are going to the salon and you want to recreate Elphaba's nails and let's say, you're going for the nails after the salon scene, where she just gets a fresh set, I would say ask for a plain black base and then ask if they have green foils to stick it on top to give that green effect. Then apply a shiny top coat. And it looks insane! The green ombre is more complicated with colours mixed to give it a green earthy colour.
Shea On The Importance Of Expressing Yourself Through Nail Art, Despite Some Criticism
We love it and don't want anyone to change. Let's look at athletes such as Flo-Jo, remember her nails? Now we have ShaCarri Richardson and her nails are always long and she's always got nice designs [on them]. It’s also Black people, not only Black women — because if you look at athletes that are men that make sure they get their nails painted as well. A$AP Rocky gets his nails painted. It's just so good to see that our culture is so colourful and also so inviting. It’s not only Black people that can have these kinds of nails, anyone can have them. I’m glad we can be the inspiration to everybody and they can draw bits of our culture and add it to theirs.
I like the fact that Cynthia is able to go out of there into the world and still be authentically herself. She hasn't changed for anything or anyone. This is how I am. I like my nails like this, my nail techs love doing my nails like this.
I'm over the moon that Cynthia can go out and still have her nails how she wants to. [Cynthia’s nails] has been a topic this entire Wicked press tour. Everyone will ask Cynthia about her nails in every interview and I love that. I love it because that's who she is. And if you see her you'll see that she's always got her nails done and she’s always got some banging heels on. Even on her down days, she’s always dressed. That's just how she is.
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Feature image by Jeff Spicer/ Getty Images