This Dance Class Is Helping Women Get Their Sexy Back
“Y'all don't hear me!"
The words echoed throughout the dance studio as Monica Wilson, founder of XOTICY—a dance class for the every-day woman to build confidence, self-esteem, endurance, and sensuality—played back the song that had filled the otherwise quiet room.
She walked to the mirrored wall before taking her place in the center of the class. If we couldn't hear her, she made us listen the best way she knew how: through her body.
I was seduced by thick legs in knee high socks, ass for days, wild curls, and seductive dance moves. Like many I first became intrigued with Monica through her Youtube channel. Her tantalizing movements to sexy and sensual music like Rihanna's “Skin" and Beyonce's “Dance for You" were hypnotizing. But it's a lot more than that; it's art in motion. The way Monica moves is effortless fluidity. She feels the music and interprets it through her body as if its first nature, as if it is innate to her very being.
"I lose myself in the song. I don't sit down and think of steps. I just move. If it feels right, it sticks to my soul."
After my own failed attempts to master her moves through the screen from my living room, I decided that I wanted to join her in real time at a class. What kept me from doing it? Oh, I don't know. An innate lack of coordination? A feeling of shyness? But dancing is good for the body and for the soul, and that particular Wednesday at 8:30pm marked a perfect moment because my love tank was on E, and I needed an outlet to release some of that energy.
The day started with me feeling sexually repressed, and I walked into the Xoticy class hoping to tap into the inner goddess in me that had largely been out of commission for the past week or two. “I give you the tools and the steps, but it's all about the feeling that you have inside of you that you forgot was there because you allowed other people and other things to get in the way of it," she said.
She apologized for the chill in the air that greeted my girl and me, but we were fine. We'd heat things up soon enough. I panned over the room of women, all different shades, shapes, and ages, bodies donned in fishnets and black knee high socks. I felt slightly intimidated out of lack of knowing the moves, but quickly morphed into a feeling of “I don't give a fuck" after the music started blaring.
“Y'all are f-cking up," she said to the class after showing us the first eight counts of choreography.
As I said, none of us were dancers. The moves were even harder to pick up in the class and you instinctively want to move in a mechanical 1, 2, 3, 4-count. But counting isn't sexy. Perfection isn't sexy. The hour and a half long class was no joke and it was a challenge to not only the physical, but the mental as well because it asks you to relinquish control and trust the guidance Monica is offering.
I was in her presence for a couple of hours and sexuality resonated from her aura and spirit so intensely. That's her. She exudes sexiness, confidence, and self assuredness and it's evident why women gravitate towards her to learn her ways and absorb some of her magic.
You have to forget yourself and stop worrying about things that don't matter, like comparing yourself to the next woman or feeling like you look silly attempting to bend yourself like Monica. No, quiet the mind, quiet the doubt, and let that shit go. Connect with what is already in you.
To Monica, that's the true definition of sexy:
“Sexy is the way you feel; it's who you are. It's your walk and your step; it's your groove – it's you. It's in you. As women we go through so much shit. We're moms. We take care of every thing. Sometimes we forget that we can take a step back and reconnect with ourselves. Saying f--k it to everything and just taking care of you every once in a while is sexy."
She encouraged us to let go of our control, to surrender to the song as she does and leave our minds for a bit. I was there. I was sexy, and I felt confident about my sh-t. And I began to understand why women came here, why XOTICY is a movement. My spirit could feel the love I was attempting to give it by taking care of me for a bit. That, to me, was sexy.
Self love in the room was evident, but also an unmistakable aura of confidence. Monica's advice for women struggling with self confidence is:
“Move out of your way. Get the f-ck out of your way. You are put on earth in your own purpose. There are people out here trying to live their mom and their dad's life and wonder why things are not as they should be. Think about self. When you start thinking about self love and you please yourself, everyone else around you should be pleased. If not, you shouldn't be worried about it."
Afterwards, the ladies in the class, Monica, my friend, and I all sat around in a circle having a candid conversation about sex and how the class has taught them to own their lives, both in the bedroom and outside of it. Monica still needs to show me how she slides across that floor so effortlessly. Damn, that woman. I need a pair of those socks!
If you are ever in the Atlanta area on a Wednesday night, be sure to check out Monica Wilson's XOTICY class. It does wonders for the bedroom, but also for the soul, and that's where it all begins anyway, right?
Check out more of Monica's erotic moves below!
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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ItGirl 100: Get To Know Some Of The Most Inspiring And Empowering Women On Our List
The ItGirl 100 List, in partnership with Hyundai, is a celebration of 100 Black women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table.
We often see lists featuring amazing women who are seasoned in this thing called life, and our ItGirl 100 List gives flowers to the people they’ve passed the torch to: young millennial and Gen Z women who are innovating and disrupting in today’s world of advancement.
xoNecole has partnered with Hyundai for its inaugural ItGirl 100 List to give these women their flowers today. It’s a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who have built their own tables, launched new businesses, and redefined what it truly means to be blessed, booked, and busy.
Here’s a snapshot of fun facts from a few of the women listed on the ItGirl 100, representing the East, West, Midwest, and South:
EAST
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DJ 9AM: DJ & Curator
Representing: Brooklyn
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "On My Mama" by Victoria Monét
Favorite OG It Girl: Nia Long
Zodiac Big Three: Cancer Sun, Taurus Moon, Pisces Rising
Favoring open-format, multi-genre mixes, this DJ has created a winning reputation for rocking a crowd with seamless transitions and selections, always representing Southwest musical and cultural influences.
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Tiffany James, Founder, Modern BLK Girl
Representing:Brooklyn
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Lucky Girl" by Carlina
Favorite OG It Girl:Naomi Campbell
Zodiac Big Three: Sagittarius Sun, Leo Moon, Virgo Rising
Modern BLK Girl is one of the leading investment groups among women of color, and the founder serves as an avid investor, community builder, and advocate. Tiffany James is also a mentor, utilizing her unique combination of financial and fashion expertise.
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Kat Mateo, Casting Director
Representing: New Jersey
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Princess Going Digital" by Amaarae
Favorite OG It Girl: Kelis, Eve, Lil Kim
Zodiac Big Three: Aries Sun, Cancer Moon, Cancer Rising
Thriving as a casting director and stylist, Kat Mateo offers a unique point of view that has shaped New York Fashion Week shows, ad campaigns, and editorials. She has also been a major contributor to cultural conversations related to fashion and inclusivity.
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Denise Stephanie Hewitt, Photographer
Representing: Brooklyn
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Experience" by Victoria Monét
Favorite OG It Girl: Hannah Montana
Zodiac Big Three: Taurus Sun, Aquarius Moon, Aquarius Rising
This Gordon Parks Foundation scholar is a full-time student who has been working to expand her freelance career in photography. Denise is also been featured among Essence'sinaugural list of "Top 10 Creators Under 30," for her unique aesthetics and perceptions through her art.
WEST
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Nayamka Roberts-Smith, Aesthetician
Representing: Los Angeles
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Tomorrow 2" by GloRilla & Cardi B
Favorite OG It Girl: Meagan Good
Zodiac Big Three: Sagittarius Sun, Leo Moon, Capricorn Rising
Nayamka Roberts-Smith is an award-winning professional in the skincare industry and serves as an educator, offering knowledge on beauty culture. She also is a well-sought-after speaker on beauty and women’s issues, with a following of more than 1 million on social.
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Desiree L. Talley, Esq., Vice President, Legal & Business Affairs, Revolt TV
Representing: Los Angeles
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Nice" by The Carters
Favorite OG It Girl: Issa Rae
Zodiac Big Three: Cancer Sun, Scorpio Moon, Cancer Rising
An attorney and storyteller, Desiree L. Talley meshes relatability with her legal smarts for the culture. She advocates for cultural advancement and societal change through her POPLAW Podcast while balancing her executive duties at Revolt TV.
Marley Rae
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Marley Rae, Organizer, WalkGood
Representing: Los Angeles
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Nice For What" by Drake
Favorite OG It Girl: Mariah Carey
Zodiac Big Three: Capricorn Sun, Taurus Moon, Leo Rising
Marley Rae is a Nike Athlete, certified yoga instructor, COO, and Director of Health and Wellness for WalkGood LA, a family-founded non-profit organization. She is dedicated to fostering understanding and care in local and global communities.
MIDWEST
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Shawnee Dez
Representing: Chicago
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "FreeBody Freestyle" by Shawnee Dez
Favorite OG It Girl: Toni Morrison
Zodiac Big Three: Cancer Sun, Aquarius Moon, Cancer Rising
Shawnee Dez is an artist who's all about captivating her audience through encouragement and empowerment. Her music features fluid harmonic layering, live instrumentation fused with digital production, and her unique multi-talented voice in an alto melodic tone.
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Bianca Pastel, Visual Artist
Representing: Chicago
Ultimate ItGirl Song: Anything by Whitney Houston
Favorite OG It Girl: Grace Jones
Zodiac Big Three: Taurus Sun, Leo Moon, Sagittarius Rising
Bianca Pastel's artistic portfolio includes fine art, illustrations, and animation, and she's worked with clients including Disney Pixar, and the NFL, to name a few. Her focus is "empowering the experience of being a Black child and dealing with mental health issues."
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Donyale Walton, Founder, Hoop Mobb
Representing: Detroit
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Yeah I Said It" by Rihanna
Favorite OG It Girl: Aaliyah
Zodiac Big Three: Virgo Sun, Libra Moon, Capricorn Rising
Donyale Walton's brand Hoop Mobb, celebrates the Black and Brown fashion and cultural impact and presence of hoop earrings. It's grown to earn more than seven figures in annual revenue and a nationwide community of loyal consumers.
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Ticara Devone, Content Creator
Representing: Chicago
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "She's a Bitch" by Missy Elliott
Favorite OG It Girl: Ananda Lewis
The Zodiac Big Three: Libra Sun, Taurus Moon, Virgo Rising
A trusted sneaker enthusiast and content creator, Ticara Devone uses dynamic storytelling to hold space for others with a passion for sneakers. A published writer, she’s worked with brands including Nike and Footlocker and inspires us all by ensuring women are vocal and seen in the multi-billion dollar shoe space.
SOUTH
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AllyiahsFace, Content Creator
Representing: Atlanta
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "Go Off" Doja Cat
Favorite OG It Girl: Gabrielle Union and Halle Berry
Zodiac Big Three: Gemini Sun, Leo Moon, Scorpio Rising
AllyiahsFace's YouTube channel has more than 830,000 subscribers, and she's been hitting the ground running since 2015. Her content creation, which centers on beauty, fashion, and lifestyle, has led to a lucrative career and drawn a close-knit social and real-life community to view and be inspired.
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Jaycina, Executive Director, Tender
Representing: Atlanta
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "All I Got" by Amel Larrieux
Favorite OG It Girl:Tracee Ellis Ross
Zodiac Big Three: Leo Sun, Sagittarius Moon, Sagittarius Rising
Jaycina is a signed model with a nonprofit that works to provide support and community for single mothers in Atlanta. She's also appeared in campaigns for brands including Fenty and GAP as well as features in all your favorite magazines and on billboards across the country.
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Asha Christian, Founder, Coily App
Representing: Atlanta
Ultimate ItGirl Song: "It's My Life" by Mariah Carey
Favorite OG It Girl: Toni Childs (Girlfriends)
Zodiac Big Three: Sagittarius Sun, Leo Moon, Leo Rising
Asha Christian created Coily to provide beauty recommendations utilizing social data. It offers a more personalized, AI-driven experience for users and part of her mission is to provide solutions related to diversity and put the focus back on the consumer. Meshing tech and culture, Christian is innovating with options that exemplify the Black girl magic needed in tech.
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