I Jetset On A Budget For An Entire Year With These Travel Hacks
Two years ago, Santa came through in the form of a glitch fare to Johannesburg, South Africa with Etihad Airlines.
I called my sister from another mother and told her she and I needed to hop on this once-in-a-lifetime deal because I didn't know how long it would last. From May 13 to May 19, we explored Jozi and later that week Cape Town. We spent a total $450 for our flights. Of course the experience was fun, but there were resources that put me in the know about these flights before others.
In 2015, I became known as a "the traveler" in my circle -- a name I still feel like I don't deserve -- but it has always been my goal to rack up miles. My excursions included a work assignment at Disney World and quick weekend getaways to Charlotte, North Carolina, Los Angeles and Washington, D.C. The biggest thing I've learned this year is that being a great traveler is not about getting your hi-res photo featured on a dope travel Instagram page.
You have to put in the work to get to your destination first. Applying the following rules to the traveling game should have you flying high in 2019. There is no secret to this. Take it from this jetsetter newbie.
1. Create a travel bucket list.
As they say, write your vision down and make it plain. Looking back at my journal in 2013, J-burg was on my travel bucket list. A year later, I found an amazing deal going there. Next year, I'm marking other international cities. Use a vision board or wallpaper on your phone or laptop to post a photo of the place you want to go. Seeing is believing.
2. Sign up for flight deal newsletters.
My favorite travel newsletter is The Flight Deal. Every day, they send out a list of deals that that are poppin at the moment. They only last about 24 hours, so if you're planning to get on board, buy the ticket as soon as possible. The Flight Deal does a great job at laying out how to find the deal, and if you're patient and determined, you will be able to buy a ticket at a price that will shock others.
3. Sign up for airline flight trackers.
Many people check the standings of their favorite sports team daily. Or they check the prices of their favorite shoes to see if they are finally on sale. Travelers do the same religiously with airline prices.
My favorite flight price tracker is Airfarewatchdog. The site tells me the prices of round trip flights leaving my local airports. Los Angeles is a city I visited for the first time for below average cost this year because I was paying attention. As a matter of fact, I was able to go from east to west twice, because I caught two super cheap flights. Let's apply the knowledge.
On average, a flight can run you anywhere from $200 to $400 between NYC and Los Angeles. How did I know this? Because I chose to get the e-mails to my inbox daily for these flights and I noticed the price patterns.
Keeping this in mind, when I received an e-mail in June with a flight from JFK to LAX $150 roundtrip on American Airlines, I immediately hopped on it. That's $50 below normal and was within my budget so I moved with the quickness. I had connecting flights in Dallas, but I didn't mind. I had never been to Texas, so it gave me time to explore their airport. And even though I was only there for two hours, I learned two things: people were friendly and their food options were the best I've seen in any airport!
4. Follow social media pages of airlines.
Sometimes airlines offer glitch fares as a marketing tactic. I follow JetBlue on Twitter. In February, I saw that they were running a promotion for super cheap flights between colder cities and warmer cities. They had a flight from New York City to Los Angeles for only $60-something dollars roundtrip! Because the website was hit with a crazy amount of traffic as word spread, I had trouble booking the flight and the price unfortunately went up. When I finally booked it, it was $180. Still not bad, especially since it was a direct flight.
5. Know your search tools!
When I have no flight deal to start with, Google Flights is my starting point. To me, their search picks up the best results. They also allow you to see how much the trip would cost if you took it on another date.
I also have to give honorable mention to Edreams, especially for international flights. For example, when I was booking my flight from Jozi to Cape Town most sites would return prices that were $200-$300. But when I used Edreams, they returned flights for $115 RT.
Skyscanner is great for the more open traveler. Let's say you're not concerned about the destination and more about going somewhere that you can get the most bang for your buck. You type in your departure city and select "flexible" for your destination. They will then list current prices from your destination to multiple cities.
6. Multiple cities? Book flights together
Sometimes you can save by booking multiple cities together. For example, I'm traveling to Jozi in March, and for some reason a one-way flight showed up as $800 in Google flights. I was not accepting this, especially when you can get a roundtrip flight for the same price. Being that I am continuing my travels, I decided to book a later flight to Madrid at the same time. After finagling things, I booked New York to Johannesburg and Johannesburg to Madrid for $675 total.
7. Pack light.
This is an art I am still working on. I'm getting better at it. I never ever wear the amount of clothes that I pack. Many airlines are making money off checked baggage these days so packing light will help you save money and have less of a headache.
8. Use Ebates.
When possible, you can receive a percentage back for hotel stays, vacation packages and flights by going through Ebates.com a coupon site. If you plan to book any part of your trip through Orbitz, Priceline, Hotwire, BookIt, etc. you can receive a percentage back for the price you paid. They don't process the money until after your stay or flight. This is an amazing money-saving opportunity.
9. Stay with Airbnb.
I've been using Airbnb since 2013. There have been horror stories in the news. But I've had many great experiences from hosts using the app and the price point you can get for a 1 bedroom or 2 bedroom apartment trumps high priced hotel costs. I love having access to a kitchen when I'm traveling for quick meals and to save money on food. For safety, your best bet is to always go with a host who has high ratings and reviews. Don't go with a host who is brand new if you're not willing to take that risk, and always communicate your concerns before you book. The cool thing about staying in an Airbnb is that your hosts can give you up-to-date local knowledge to make the most of your trip. Also, they are sometimes cheaper than hotels.
10. Join a travel community.
There are many different travel groups and various travel Facebook groups, you can join to learn more about your dream destinations and connect with like-minded travelers. By joining a travel group, you can type, “Hey guys anyone in Los Angeles? What are some good cost-friendly sushi restaurants to check out?" and know for sure you'll get great responses back. From traveling newbie to traveling veteran, everyone is welcome.
11. Don't be too bougie to sleep on the coach.
I'm blessed to have friends and family in different cities throughout the country. It is the reason why I was able to stay in Los Angeles, Washington, D.C. and Charlotte, N.C. for free of charge this year. But of course don't be that friend that freeloads. Return the favor, if they're looking to travel to your city soon. Or buy them back some groceries or offer them gas money. It's just the right thing to do.
12. Always have a plug.
In Johannesburg, my friend and I met a blogger on line for a day party who is my point of contact when I return to the city next year. We kicked it with natives at all the cool spots thanks to a friend of a friend who agreed to take us around while we were visiting. My friend and I also found a whiskey bar in Charlotte that had the most amazing sweet potato tater tots on earth by asking a bouncer at a club for a recommendation. If possible, see if someone in your circle knows someone in the place you're visiting. If not, always ask a local resident for advice when you get there. It definitely plugs you all the way in to the city you're visiting!
Also plan ahead. There are travel planning apps like TRIP, which allows you to view what events are going on in the city you are visiting, as well as the best places to go and restaurants to visit.
Of course, these aren't the ONLY hacks out there. Always do your research and be patient. Your traveling adventures await you in 2019!
Featured image by Getty Images
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Do You Want To Be A Wife? Or Do You Just Want To Have A Wedding?
Even though it’s my life, sometimes I look at it and totally trip out over certain things.
For instance, even though I am aware that both Hebrew and African cultures put a lot of stock in the name of a child (because they believe it speaks to their purpose; so do I) and I know that my name is pretty much Hebrew for divine covenant, it’s still wild that in a couple of years, I will have been working with married couples for a whopping two decades — and boy, is it an honor when they will say something like, “Shellie, we’ve seen [professionally] multiple people and no one has been nearly as effective as you have been.”
Yep, me. Little ole’ never-been-married-before me. Yeah, y’all better quit letting people tell you what you’re called to do in this world. That is between you and the One who made you.
Okay, but let me stay on track. When it comes to the engaged couples specifically, who have crossed my path, something that I believe I’ve said to each and every one of them (especially the bride-to-be) is — “You better enjoy every single minute of your wedding day because you deserve a big ‘ole party for all of the work that you’re about to do.” And then I look at the woman as intensely as I can and say, “And you? Remember, you are a bride for a day. You are a wife for the rest of your life.”
Why do I emphasize that point so much? It’s because those two things are not one and the same. Hmph. Let me tell it, a huge reason why 70 percent of divorces are initiated by women, however, is because a lot of them think that it is. And so, in the effort to do my part to help make marriages last longer and cause the divorce rate to go down, I think it’s important for more women to ponder if they really want to be a wife — or if they just want to throw a big party (a wedding), go on a trip (a honeymoon) and not much more than that.
Buckle in. This one might be a bit of a ride (for some, at least).
It’s Time to Stop “Living for the Fairy Tale”
GiphyIf you’ve been reading my content for a while (and if so, thank you), it will not shock you in the least that I’ve spent many years studying the origins of things as they directly relate to marriage. I know that the engagement ring is not about love but about a jewelry company that was about to go bust. So, they came up with the slogan “A diamond is forever” and then made some serious bank from it (you can read about that here).
I know that white wedding dresses have nothing to do with purity and virtue; in fact, women in the Bible often wore lots of bright colors during their more-than-one-day wedding celebrations. Actually, white comes from Queen Victoria making it famous back in the 1840s. I also know that a lot of people were pretty obsessed with evil spirits back in the day because things like wearing a wedding veil and bridesmaids wearing the same dresses were all about hiding from said spirits. Another pretty popular wedding day tradition? Well, I’ll just let you read Insider’s “Here's the horrifying truth about why grooms carry brides across the threshold,” if you’re interested.
And as far as marriage goes, don’t even get me started on the whole “I’m living for the fairy tale” narrative that gets pushed incessantly. I’ve said in other articles before that "fairy tale" literally means “a story, usually for children, about elves, hobgoblins, dragons, fairies, or other magical creatures” and “an incredible or misleading statement, account, or belief.” Who wants to live for childish stories that are incredibly misleading? And the ones that have a character like Prince Charming in it? The Bible literally says that “charm is deceitful” (Proverbs 31:30).
Know what else the Bible says? It states that death and life are in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21). So, what’s up with all of this wedding/marriage rhetoric that’s so popular and also, so… “silly” is the first word that comes to mind, “unrealistic” is the second and “unnecessary” is the third?
Why are there so many expectations, especially when it comes to the wedding day, that push folks to the point where a whopping 49 percent of couples end up going into debt right after jumping the broom — all because they wanted to live for the fairy tale and throw a big party that they basically couldn’t afford? SMDH.
It really is wild, just how much human nature tends to do things without even really knowing WHY it does it — even when it comes to marriage. And so, if you are someone who desires this type of union, be honest with yourself: what is your “why”?
When it comes to becoming a wife someday, WHY do you want to do that?
A man needing to spend three times his salary on an engagement ring, WHY?
When it comes to having a big traditional wedding, WHY is it necessary?
Marriage is a goal for you (and don’t get me wrong, marriage is a beautiful thing) — WHY is that the case?
When it comes to being married, WHY do you think it will better serve you than your single state?
Motivational speaker Eric Thomas once said, “When you find your ‘why’, you will find a way to make it happen.” And when it comes to something as big (and supposed to be lifetime lasting) as marriage, perhaps a big part of the reason WHY so many of them do not go the distance is because there aren’t enough “why” questions, on the front end, that are asked (which is why you should partake in premarital counseling before your wedding day). Oh, but there should be.
Because saying “why” you want a huge wedding is nothing more than “because I want to” or “why” you chose the man that you did is simply “I love him” — I’ve been doing this couples work thing long enough to assure you that those answers simply aren’t good enough. You need to know what it means to be a wife and why a marriage and a wedding are not the same thing…not by the longest country mile that you can imagine.
What It Means to Be a Wife
GiphyIf you’ve been reading my content for a while now, you know that I’m good for throwing some Scripture in; it’s a part of my foundation and I make no apologies for it. And so, when it comes to what it means to be a wife, the first word that’s used to define it in the Bible is “helpmate” (Genesis 2:18). A helpmate is a companion, a helper and someone who assists another individual — in this case, a husband.
While we’re here, a helper is not helping unless the help is actually needed and it’s good. Lawd, I can’t tell you how many wife clients I’ve had who have totally missed that part. So, what does “good help” look like?
- A good helper ASKS the person they are assisting what they need.
- A good helper does not try to control another person or make them do what they want.
- A good helper gets that needs can shift based on what is transpiring at any given time.
- A good helper makes things easier and less stressful.
- A good helper learns how to master good listening, effective communication, and wise timing.
And yes, in many ways, this is what it means to be a good wife. So, if you are someone who desires marriage, when it comes to what is required to be not just a wife but a GOOD WIFE, how much have you factored helping your man into the dynamic?
Not mothering him. Not bossing him around. Not trying to manipulate him into being a version of a husband that you would prefer. No, how much thought have you put into “Am I equipped to help another person be their best self? Am I ready to be supportive, encouraging, and nurturing? Was it even modeled to me, while growing up, to know what a proper helpmate looks like? Have I realized how much sacrifice goes into that type of role? Am I even selfless enough to be a consistent helper?”
I know this is probably gonna ruffle some feathers yet, you know something that I’m not big on? Women saying that their man should give them the “princess treatment.” Every time I hear that, the first thought that comes to my mind is “Fathers make their daughters princesses while men make their wives a queen” — and little girls are treated differently than grown women. And to that, Proverbs 12:4(NKJV) says, “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.”
My point? There is a MATURITY that is to come from going from princess to queen. A queen does have more privileges, yet, at the same time, she also has way more responsibility. It’s not about sitting around and being catered to all day long. Queens have work to do — and it’s not always comfortable or pretty. Same thing goes for being a wife.
Y’all, I could go on and on (and on and on and on) about what it means to be a wife in a marriage. For now, I’ll just end this part of the article with, “If you’re not ready to help, each and every day of your relationship, you’re not ready to be a wife.” Plain and simple.
Weddings Are Not Marriages (and Vice Versa)
GiphySo, why do so many people jump brooms (I’m writing this with Black folks in mind first; jumping brooms is for us only), only to turn around and get divorced a few years later? Oh, I could go on and on as well about how a lot of people don’t have much integrity when it comes to the promises that they make. Listen singles, when you’re dating someone, pay very close attention to whether the person you’re seeing keeps their word — and if you do the same.
It makes absolutely no sense to keep letting someone slide when it comes to reneging now, only to act shocked when they do the same thing after saying “I do.” And while we’re here, being a man or woman of your word is a character issue. Maybe folks are not strong in character when it comes to this.
Yet another reason why folks will get all dolled up, stand before God, family, and friends, look someone straight in the eye, and promise to never leave, only to do just that, is because many people honestly don’t see past their wedding (and maybe their newlywed years). That is why you will hear so many people describe their perfect wedding day, down to the last detail, and yet, if you ask what their five-year plan for their marriage is, they have absolutely not one clue.
I mean, I get it — to a certain extent. A wedding is a big party where you get to dress to the nines, have people come to celebrate you and you get to have everything go your way — down to the font on the programs and reception napkins. Oh, but what a “trick” that can be if you think that your marriage is going to move like that, all of the time, moving forward. I liken it to The Bachelor franchise. Who wouldn’t feel like they are falling for someone when they’re able to live in a mansion with no bills, have fantasy dates that cost thousands of dollars, and a big ole’ rock that a famed jeweler donates?
Meanwhile, folks should watchUnREAL (the television series from several years back where some former producers of the franchise talk about what really happens behind the scenes) to get a reality check. To a certain extent, the same thing goes for marriage: while weddings produce this belief that marriage will be one big party where everyone focuses on you and everything goes your way, that isn’t even close to being the reality of being married.
Honestly, the real deal is 1) if you don’t want to learn how to love on a supernatural level; 2) if you don’t want your strengths to be refined and your weaknesses to be challenged; 3) if you don’t want to be held accountable in ways that you would never be if you remained single; 4) if you don’t want to compromise on a daily basis and, 5) if you don’t want to be challenged to become a truly selfless individual — marriage isn’t for you.
You’d be far better off just throwing a big ass party for yourself, just because (and no, I don’t mean marry yourself; you are already “one” with you; no need for that), and call it a day. Spare yourself and another person the heartache of divorce because…divorce is A LOT to go through.
Lawd, I can only imagine how much drama could be spared if folks simply took into their spirit that weddings ARE NOT marriages and marriages ARE NOT weddings. Weddings are a party to celebrate your union — yet your union? That requires daily energy, effort, and time. It’s not a party. It’s a relationship. BIG DIFFERENCE.
Please Don’t Get Married Until You’re Sure That You Want…BOTH
GiphyAnd this is why, whenever someone tells me that they are going to get married, I don’t immediately respond with, “Congrats! That’s awesome.” NOPE. The very first thing that comes out of my mouth is something along the lines of, “For real. Why?” WHY? Because, it never fails that, about 7.5 times outta 10, folks will be caught off guard and say, “What do you mean ‘why’?” and then follow that up with, “Because I’m in love” or…they don’t really know what to say at all.
Is being in love a good answer? I mean, it explains why you picked the person that you did; it doesn’t really explain why you are choosing to commit to them for the rest of your life, on a marital level, though. Are you getting married because you know that the two of you will make each other better people? Are you getting married because you want to raise your children in a two-parent dynamic? Are you getting married for biblical reasons like wanting to love like Christ loves his bride (the Church and the Church sent him through A LOT — Ephesians 5)?
Are you getting married because you think you’ve gone as far as you can in your evolution as an individual without the assistance of another? Are you getting married because you want to serve another person as they do the same for you (perhaps not in the same ways because you’re both different people)?
Is that asking the most? Chile, that’s not asking enough. I don’t care how much people mock marriage in the media by changing partners like they change cars or homes. I don’t care how much divorce has been normalized. I don’t care how much folks like to act like a husband is a 2.0 boyfriend (it’s not) and having a wife is a 2.0 girlfriend (it’s not) — marriage is special, sacred, and needs to be honored as such. A wedding should be seen as a happy occasion where two people publicly acknowledge what I just said…not simply a time to get a lot of attention and presents only to come home and go from heaven to hell in six months.
And honestly, that’s a bit part of the reason why I do what I do: it’s because I actually think the covenant of marriage is SO MAGNIFICENT that I want to make sure that people know, as much as possible, what they are signing up for — not an endless wedding; a very real relationship that will challenge them and mature them like nothing else ever will in this lifetime.
____
This was a lot. I already know. Still, it beats spending thousands of dollars on a wedding to stand before a chaplain only to spend thousands of more dollars several years later on a divorce lawyer and therapy while standing before a judge.
Weddings are awesome; you’ll get no argument from me there. Still, I think if I was to narrow all of this down into one statement, it would simply be this: “When it comes to marriage, if the thought of being a wife doesn’t excite you more than being a bride — wait. You’re not ready yet.”
Thank me later, sis. YOU WILL.
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