I Met Him In An UberPOOL & Now We're Married!
They say you never know where you'll find true love.
You just have to be open and ready for it when it comes knocking on your door. I learned this after I found love in an Uber.
Yes, you heard that right! On May 14, 2015, while riding in uberPOOL for the first time in Los Angeles, California, I met the love of my life, Lester.
At the time, I was in LA visiting from Atlanta for a month in an attempt to follow my dreams of becoming a model. I spent my days auditioning and visiting agencies, but on this particular day, I was at a live band recording at a Beverly Hills home studio with some friends before I contacted Uber to take me back to my Airbnb in West Hollywood.
I had never really even used Uber before, and of course I messed up and clicked the wrong car: uberPOOL. UberPOOL is the service that allows you to share your ride and split the fare with another Uber rider who's going in the same direction. Initially I was too terrified to ride with a stranger, but then I thought about the buck or two I'd save.
“What the heck?" I asked myself. “It's too late now."
When the Uber arrived, I immediately spotted this handsome man in the backseat. So I did what any other interested woman would do: I sat in the front seat with the Uber driver. Honestly, I was just way too nervous to sit in the back with a total hot stranger so I opted to sit next to the more familiar one, one with whom I could match a name and face to on an app.
The Uber driver made small talk as he drove us to our destinations, asking questions like, “What are you doing tonight?" Clearly he had an agenda and figured I wasn't going to say anything because he formally introduced me to my backseat passenger, Lester. I found out that Lester was also visiting Los Angeles, but from Detroit only for the weekend, and he was en route to Hollywood to help celebrate his godbrother's birthday.
As we approached my Airbnb, the driver shot me a sly grin. “You guys should exchange phone numbers," he said. And we did.
I didn't know if we'd stay in contact after that, but to my surprise we connected shortly afterward through texts and met at Roscoe's House of Chicken and Waffles the next day. From there, we went our separate ways and I was able to see him again weeks later while visiting a relative in Detroit. We kept the communication lines open by FaceTiming and talking on the phone when we were apart. But our first official date was four months after our uberPOOL ride when he stopped off in Atlanta during a layover.
I picked him up from the airport, and I took him to Spondivits since he loves seafood. I wanted our date to be special, but it turned out to also be surreal.
Lester was a perfect gentleman. He opened my doors, he was attentive, and he was engaged in our conversation. I felt his energy through his gaze, laugh, and words. We truly enjoyed each other's company and were extremely pleased to finally get to know one another in person. It was at that moment that we both knew we were headed towards a serious commitment.
After our Atlanta date, I was even more smitten by him.
Lester inspired me to grow in every aspect of my life, with God, my dreams, and my family.
A month later, Lester visited me and met my family. Once I saw him interact with my mom and my sister, I knew he was a keeper, and we made our relationship official.
Now, 11 months from our initial meeting, I can say we're in the best relationship of our lives. After many flights between Chicago and Atlanta, we've decided that I'd move to Chicago where he currently resides since I have the freedom to pursue my career from anywhere. Although I'm nervous as heck and Atlanta has been my home and support system for 12 years, I realize that it's time for me to start living my life. I know my life begins with him.
This experience has definitely taught me that love isn't always found in the most traditional places: at the bar, at work, in the supermarket, in church, or even on a dating site.
We may have guidelines and fantasies of how we think our love stories should go, but they don't always materialize as planned. I've truly learned that we need to remain open, follow our intuition, and take more chances.
I almost changed my mind about traveling to LA, but my gut told me to just go because it was for my dream career. So, instead of canceling my flight and postponing my dream, I went anyway, only to find true love in the back of a taxi.
As of January 20, 2017, Lester and I are now engaged! He proposed to me in Cartagena, Columbia two days before his birthday! (FYI, my hair was down before the proposal, but he made fun of me so I braided it up, haha sneaky thing.)
He proposed on the rooftop of our Airbnb during dinner. The chef brought out this cake box and she insisted on handing it to me. I kept telling her, "No, it's not my birthday, it's his," and pointing to Lester. He finally goes, "Babe, open it."
I open the cake box and it's a chocolate cake with roses on the side and a freaking ring box! I look over and there he is on one knee, reaching for my hand. He looks at me and says, "You've been the best part of me ever since I've known you and I can't see me spending the rest of my life with anybody else. So can you please do me the honor of marrying me?"
Of course, I said YES!
Update:
After getting engaged, Jenisa and Lester tied the knot in a little over a year later. On May 4, 2018, the pair started their forever together officially in a ceremony in Atlanta. If Jenisa and Lester's unforgettable love story proves anything, it's that there's nothing like God's plan or His timing for your life.
True love can find you when you least expect it, even in the back of an uberPOOL. Congratulations to the happy couple!
This article was originally published in 2015 but has since been updated.
Featured image via Jenisa's Instagram / Bianca Cherisse
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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I think we all can agree that social media really is a double-edged sword. What I mean by that is there is just as much bad that can come out of it as good. At the end of the day, it really is about 1) having your own mind, 2) finding balance when it comes to how much time you spend online, and 3) doing your own research instead of taking random people’s opinions as the gospel (i.e., facts).
Gee, I wish more folks did all of this when it comes to if a man needs to have a large penis to sexually satisfy a woman (he does not) and if a woman who has had multiple sex partners will ultimately end up with a vagina that is too large for smaller penises to please her (a lie).
Science totally has my back on debunking both of those things (more on that in a bit). Know what else does? A particular type of sex method that is becoming more popular by the day. One that just might convince you to, as they used to say back in the day, focus less on the “size of the wave” and ride out the “motion of the ocean” instead.
It’s called shallowing. Here’s what it’s all about.
What Is Shallowing?
GiphyIf there’s one thing that I wish folks would say more thoroughly when it comes to women and orgasms, it’s that when it comes to75 percent of women not being able to orgasm from only intercourse, the accurate statement is they struggle with achieving a vaginal orgasm without the assistance of some type of clitoral stimulation. Yeah, we’ve really got to remember that very few things in this life are a complete monolith — orgasms included (check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”).
In fact, it was while I was reading up on pairing — a word that is used for when clitoral stimulation transpires during penetration — that I decided to do some deep-diving into shallowing (because it was mentioned inone of the articles that I read).And what is it? Shallowing is when a penis, finger, tongue, or sex toy of some sort is used in order to ever so slightly penetrate the vaginal opening of a woman.
And why is shallowing not just a current sex trend but something that every woman on this planet should try? It’s because of what I’ve said, more than once, on this platform: it focuses on the most sensitive part of a woman’s vagina, which isthe first two inches of her vaginal opening.
When the emphasis is placed there, not only does it increase your chances of experiencing “the big O,” but it can also build up anticipation, which can intensify your orgasms too — yes, shallowing can also be seen as a form of edging.
Another thing that’s cool about shallowing is — and it really and truly can’t be said enough — something that makes vaginal and blended orgasms easier to achieve for some women really has little to do with the size of a man’s package or even his technique; it’s straight up anatomy. Yep, the closer that a woman’s clitoris is to her vaginal opening, the easier it is for a penis to stimulate both. So, science makes it possible for vaginal orgasms to be easier for some women than others.
At the same time, shallowing can make it possible for more women who want to see what a vaginal orgasm actually feels like (because it’s easier for the head of the penis to stimulate the opening of the vagina while the shaft can rub up against your clitoris; based on the position that you are in, of course — the missionary with some pillows propped under the lower part of your back is ideal for this).
Now that you see what shallowing actually is, do you get why I said that penis size doesn’t matter when it comes to doing it — and getting the kind of orgasms that you want? Contrary to popular belief, your vagina is only around four inches. In fact, some health experts say that it ranges between 2-4”. Anything larger, your body literally has to stretch out to accommodate; this includes penises and babies. So, if your vagina is “making room” for more than four inches, why in the world do you think you need a 10-inch man? Yeah…exactly. It really is time to get over the silliness. The average penis continues to be 5.5”. Makes sense when you take it all in (no pun intended).
Aight, so now that you know what shallowing is all about, let me try and hard sell you on why it’s a sex technique that you should try as soon as tonight (if you possibly can).
1. It takes the pressure off of you and your partner.
I’ve been working with couples for almost 20 years at this point. This means that the topic of sex comes up quite a bit. And if there’s one thing that continues to be an issue is inconsistent orgasms (check out “Why Do Orgasms So Often Seem Like A ‘Hit-Or-Miss’ Experience For Women?”).
Listen, no matter how many articles you read or sex positions you try, if you’re anxious, stressed out, or overthinking, it’s gonna get in the way of you experiencing high peaks of pleasure on a consistent basis. Since shallowing is something that can easily be done even in foreplay (via fingering and/ororal sex) if you get that first “release” off, that makes it easier to just sit back and enjoy the ones that (hopefully) are to follow.
2. It teaches you more about your vagina.
A part of the reason why I keep repeating certain facts about vaginas in these articles is that it’s amazing how little certain things are discussed en masse — like the size of the vaginal tube. And since shallowing helps you to stimulate the nerve endings at the entrance of your va-jay-jay along with your G-spot (which is housed a little ways from your opening), shallowing is a great way to explore that area of your body as you figure out what truly works for you and…what doesn’t.
3. It’s the perfect merging of foreplay and intercourse.
When you really stop to think about it, shallowing is like the bridge between foreplay and intercourse because you can use so many different things to do it. So, if you want to experiment with a new sex toy or you want a bit more time to “warm up the engine” before full-on penetration begins, shallowing is one of the most sexually arousing compromises there is.
4. It can help to increase your partner’s stamina.
A few years back, I penned an article for the site entitled, “We’ve Got Some All-Natural Ways To Increase Stamina & Sensitivity.” Listen, even though I onceread a GQ article that said that over 60 percent of the people they polled were fine with intercourse lasting no longer than 5-10 minutes — that poll doesn’t speak for all of us, chile.
So, if you would like your man to build up to going longer, shallowing can help to make that happen. Since he’s barely putting beyond the tip in, he can learn how to be in you for longer periods of time without being, well, in you.
5. It helps you to appreciate whatever “package” he has.
Again — and it really can’t be said enough — if shallowing is all about exploring the mere entrance of your vagina, you don’t need a man with BDE (check out “BDE: Please Let The 'It Needs To Be Huge' Myth Go”) or honestly, even anything close to it.
I mean, even though, reportedly, the size that the average woman says gives her the most orgasms is eight inches — I bet those women have never really tried shallowing before. 10”, 8”, or the average 5.5” can certainly get the job done. And well.
6. It feels A-MAZ-ING.
Okay,so now that you know about shallowing, I promise that if you put the word into your favorite search engine, you’re either gonna see articles on golfing (LOL) or sex, especially as of late. That’s because more couples are trying it out and getting mind-blowing results from it. So, if you’re looking for something new to try, give shallowing a shot.
Hey, anything that’s designed to stimulate your most intense vaginal nerve endings has got to be something for the record books. I mean, how could it not be? Lawd.
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Featured image by Juan Moyano/Getty Images